Recommended Story Reviews #14 – Dinky Debates Dexterity, Destiny and Dinner; Tunnel of Love; “Princest is Wincest,” It Said; All the Mortal Remains; Home Grown · 11:05pm Dec 24th, 2016
It is almost Christmas, and that means that it is time for me to get off my butt and get people stuff to read for the holidays. I have been remiss in getting review sets posted; hopefully the rapidly approaching end of the year will encourage me to get more done.
This is a rather eclectic set of stories in some ways, but in another way, all but one of them manages to capture a lovely little sentiment. I wonder if you can guess which one that is from the titles?
Still, they’re all good stories, and while they might not all be the sort of story that feels like it hit a home run, they are the kind of stories that leave you with a sense of contentment inside at the end.
Well, except for Princest is Wincest. But I had to include some comedy. 
Today’s stories:
Dinky Debates Dexterity, Destiny and Dinner by CLAVDIVS CAESAR
Tunnel of Love by Bookplayer
“Princest is Wincest,” It Said by Cleverpun
All the Mortal Remains by Cold in Gardez
Home Grown by Absolute Anonymous
Dinky Debates Dexterity, Destiny and Dinner
by CLAVDIVS CAESAR
Comedy, Slice of Life
4,766 wordsDinky enjoys staying with Sparkler, but is still anxious to go back home to her mom. The bright young filly and the young-at-heart mare use their time together to teach each other about growing up and what it means to be family.
Why I recommend it: Cute slice of life story about a cute family.
Review
The sequel to Ditzy Doo’s Dismally Derpy Day, this story is much tighter and more focused than its predecessor. It, too, is a slice of life piece, but it mostly focuses on Dinky and her older half-sister, Sparkler, talking about various things, with a bit at the end where Ditzy Doo and Big Mac show up.
Dinky and Sparkler’s interactions are what really makes the piece; Sparkler is a young adult, and is sort of growing into the world, while Dinky is still cutie-markless. Sparker clearly loves her little sister, and enjoys taking care of her, but also makes little slips (like teaching her how to swear) that she shouldn’t, but simultaneously should, and is a lot of fun to watch. Sparkler and Dinky’s back-and-forthing about life, using Go as something of an explanation for how life’s infinite possibilities narrow down as it progresses, works well.
Dinky’s voicing is good, and the story exploits the fun of children knowing “more than they should” (while, of course, knowing about what they really should) well. Sparkler is a fun character as well, and we get to see a lot of bits of her personality.
The whole thing – Dinky and Sparkler talking about growing up, as well as the conversation at the end which sort of pulls together the piece – combined with the little snatches of humor of Dinky showing the Wisdom of Children and Sparkler accidentally letting slip things she shouldn’t be, all combine into a very pleasing and pleasant whole.
While the writing in it isn’t perfect – there’s some slightly awkward bits of prose here and there – overall, it delivers well on what it is trying to do. If you like slice of life pieces and stories about kids growing up, this is likely to be up your alley.
Recommendation: Highly Recommended.
Tunnel of Love
by Bookplayer
Romance, Slice of Life
5,727 wordsThe Tunnel of Love is a magical and romantic place in the Everfree Forest, and Twilight intends to find out about it first hoof. With Applejack by her side, it seems like the perfect time to talk to her friend about the feelings she's been having.
But when it turns out that Applejack has been through the tunnel before, and has no interest in going through again, Twilight's hopes and dreams are tested by a deeper understanding of the tunnel and what it shows.
Why I recommend it: A nicely grounded TwiJack fic with just the right amount of sentiment.
Review
The Tunnel of Love is a cave over a small stream near the edge of the Everfree Forest. Sometimes, when ponies are young, they’ll go through it with a boyfriend or girlfriend, and are given visions of a perfect future where they’re happy together, no messiness at all.
Of course, it doesn’t show the future at all – oftentimes, ponies end up breaking up afterwards. It is, in the end, nothing more than a happy vision.
Twilight, being the curious scientist that she is, wants to see what is in the tunnel of love – but you need somepony to go through it with you. And she wants to go through it with Applejack – and not just for purely scientific reasons, either.
So when Twilight approaches Applejack about visiting the Tunnel of Love, she’s shocked to discover that Applejack has been through it before with somepony else. And Applejack seems less than eager to repeat the experience.
But Twilight’s feelings are real, and tunnel or no, there’s something she has to say to Applejack.
Applejack’s view of the Tunnel of Love makes up the bulk of the story – Applejack went through it once before, and it upsets her now because she realizes that a real relationship, with a real person, is not nearly so clean and perfect. She was young and dumb, and as she has grown up, she’s come to better understand love in some ways, as well as how she was pushing her special somepony along in ways that she wasn’t even aware of at the time. She’s older and wiser now, and has a pretty good idea what the real motivation behind Twilight’s little expedition is.
Twilight, for her part, is playing the role of the naïve one in this story – while she understood what the Tunnel of Love was, she didn’t really grok what it might do to somepony emotionally, or why it might not be as good of an experience as it seemed at first glance. She has romanticized it, just as she has romanticized love, and Applejack ends up bringing her down to earth a bit. The core conflict is Twilight coming to understand that the Tunnel of Love isn’t necessarily what she wants after all, as well as getting her to come to understand her feelings for Applejack a bit better.
As a shipfic, this works well, and it really plays up the whole “Applejack’s wisdom” angle of things that Bookplayer loves. But it is certainly fun for all that, and Applejack’s grounded nature in the face of the fantastic – both magic and emotion – is fun. And it is a lovely little slightly more grown up look at a getting together story, and is nicely paced as we come to understand both characters a bit better, as well as why they might work together. It is a bit sentimental, but it is a nice sentiment.
Recommendation: Recommended.
“Princest Is Wincest,” It Said
by cleverpun
Comedy, Slice of Life
4,713 wordsThe graffiti did not bother her. The art of vandalism was, in some form or another, as old as civilization itself. The content, on the other hoof, was an entirely different issue. “Princest Is Wincest,” it said. Bad grammar and spelling were one thing, but this was an attack on the Equestrian language.
Luna frowned. She would have to ask Celestia about this at the first opportunity. Perhaps there were spare funds for a literacy program. If nothing else, Tia might be able to explain what exactly the phrase meant.
Why I recommend it: Because it is. An amusing explanation of Equestrian laws concerning the use of the images of the princesses.
Review
Luna finds some… interesting graffiti on a bridge, and has to ask her sister about what it means, not being familiar with the “modern slang”.
Celestia then has to explain what “princest is wincest” means… and why she hasn’t made it illegal for their subjects to write about such, uh, interesting fantasies of theirs.
This is a rather silly story, but also contains a semi-serious look at why Princess Celestia wouldn’t pass a law banning her subjects from writing pornography about her. It is certainly humorous –Luna’s over-seriousness about the graffiti, her guards refusing to explain to her what it meant, and of course Luna being upset while Celestia relates her little story as to why she doesn’t care all ends up working together to give it a nicely facetious cast, combined with a final joke at the end after a bit of seriousness to lighten things up.
There’s also an additional chapter, added onto the original short story, which is a sequel of sorts set after the events of the short story.
All in all, this is a silly little piece, but I can’t say it didn’t make me chuckle, and it manages to approach a subject in an interesting manner.
Recommendation: Recommended.
All the Mortal Remains
by Cold in Gardez
Mystery, Slice of Life
9,034 wordsTwilight Sparkle is a happy pony. With the help of her friends she defeated Tirek. She has a shiny new castle, the kingdom is safe, and she knows the reason behind her ascension. What more could a young princess want?
She is happy, she tells herself as she digs through the ruins of her home. She is so happy she can barely smell the ashes any more.
But in those ashes she finds something unexpected: a small porcelain vase, and with it a decade's worth of unspoken questions. A mystery hiding beneath her hooves, waiting to be put to rest.
Why I recommend it: A solidly-written character piece.
Review
Set immediately after the end of season 4, this story starts three days after the defeat of Tirek. Twilight and Spike have been going through the remains of the library – her home – trying to find what little remains of her possessions. She isn’t in the best of shape, having just lost almost everything she owns and being thrown into a new home she literally can’t complain about (making this story fit kind of nicely into Season 5, even though it was written months before that point), but she is trying to make do with what she has – and, after all, things can be replaced, ponies can’t. Her library seems a minor trade for all of Equestria.
Still, going through what little remains turned up a lot of stuff from the basement – stuff that had been there even before Twilight moved in. Including a certain urn with a cutie mark on it, containing the ashes of Page Turner, the stallion who ran the library years before Twilight arrived. It seems wrong that his ashes would just be shoved in a box in the basement of the library, instead of properly disposed of or put in a shrine or whatever. So Twilight sets off to find out what to do with his mortal remains.
This is a simple story, and yet it has a fair bit of emotional depth to it; while it might appear to be about Page Turner, as Twilight is asking questions of other ponies about him, ultimately we learn relatively little. In truth, the story is really more about Twilight – how she is feeling, her reaction to the loss of her library (and how not-fine she is, all her protestations to the contrary), and her seeking a sense of closure via her search. We have some interesting little character scenes here as Twilight talks to each of her friends about Page Turner, particularly a very nice little scene with Fluttershy taking care of a badly injured manticore cub, and these scenes are not only used to talk about Page Turner, but also used to show Twilight’s thoughts on her friends as well.
If there is one oddity here, it is that it feels like there’s a bit of shipping fuel here – we see Twilight admiring Rarity’s physical beauty in a moment when Rarity is at her least done-up, and Rainbow Dash invites Twilight to come live with her, somewhat thoughtlessly, but apparently sincerely.
Still, on the whole, this is a nice character piece, and it sticks out in my mind as being such, even if it never really feels like it blows you out of the water at any single point in time while reading it.
Recommendation: Recommended.
Home Grown
by Absolute Anonymous
Romance, Slice of Life
8,512 wordsSome secrets need to be kept, and others need to be set free; but sometimes, not even the Element of Honesty can tell the difference. How do you tell your family the truth about something that you can't even admit to yourself? When Applejack begins to realize that she may have feelings for a friend, she needs to find the courage to accept who she really is before she can truly be happy.
Why I recommend it: Applejack struggling with her sexuality conflicting with her personal identity.
Review
Chances were, if you asked anypony in Equestria what an apple looked like, they'd describe a red delicious, painting for you an image of a round, ripe fruit with rich red skin and crisp, tangy flesh. But the funny thing was, nopony actually seemed to like red delicious apples very much. They were bitter and thick, making them difficult to eat raw, and weren’t any good for baking.
Yet that was the apple best known to the masses. They knew the color, they knew the shape, and they knew it as good, even if they didn’t especially like the taste upon actually sampling one.
When it came to baking pies, Granny Smith tended to prefer her namesake. Apple Bloom veered towards the Gala varieties, preferring to snack on fruit that was mild and sweet. But Big Macintosh never shared what his own preferences were, and Applejack herself had no favorite apple at all. To her, they were all good. But she admittedly had a soft spot for the red delicious - the apple everypony thought they knew until they tasted it.
So begins Home Grown. The metaphor of the red delicious runs throughout the story. Applejack knows what she wants. She wants to carry on her parents’ legacy. No – she has to carry on her parents’ legacy. Running Sweet Apple Acres. Making it a successful farm. And, someday, passing the farm onto her own children, just as it had come to her.
There’s just one problem – fillyfoolers don’t have families. And Applejack has never been able to see anything in stallions.
But in mares… well, there’s one mare who has really caught her eye. Rarity. And Applejack can’t accept it. Tries to twist things so that she just admires her as a person. Tries to put her off, out of her mind, so that they can’t possibly be together. She’s just a prissy city pony. An elitist.
All things she knows to be lies. Rarity really wants to be her friend – really wants to spend time with her, and understand her better. She doesn’t think she’s better than Applejack.
And besides, she’s a mare. And mares don’t like other mares. No, Applejack is going to marry a noble stallion someday, and have kids with him. Really.
Just like the red delicious, the life that Applejack is biting into might look nice on the outside, but she doesn’t like the taste of it one bit as she works herself to her limits to try and put what she really wants out of her mind.
While this story involves Applejack coming out to her family (and Rainbow Dash, while asking for advice), really the story’s primary focus is on Applejack coming to terms with herself, and how she has created this imaginary duty for herself to avoid really coming to terms with her own feelings. She’s scared of failing her family, that being a fillyfooler will in some way ruin Sweet Apple Acres and the life she is supposed to lead.
And in that, the story is much more interesting than a lot of stories along these lines, because it isn’t about some rational issue to be overcome, but Applejack’s emotional investment in the life she believes she is supposed to live. Applejack’s angst is internal, and so her solution must also be internal.
In the end, the story has a solid emotional payoff, and overall is a nice piece about Applejack ending her denial and coming to terms with her own feelings.
Recommendation: Highly Recommended.
Summary
Dinky Debates Dexterity, Destiny and Dinner by CLAVDIVS CAESAR
Highly Recommended
Tunnel of Love by Bookplayer
Recommended
“Princest is Wincest,” It Said by Cleverpun
Recommended
All the Mortal Remains by Cold in Gardez
Recommended
Home Grown by Absolute Anonymous
Highly Recommended
I hope you all enjoy your holidays, whatever they might be.
Number of stories still listed as Read It Sooner: 160
Number of stories still listed as Read It Later: 565
Number of stories listed as Read It Eventually: 2076
Made a mistake there, hun!
Should be TwiJack.
Awesome review as always!
I misread that first title as "Dinky, Diabetes, Dexterity, Destiny and Dinner"...
Loved All the Mortal Remains. Glad to see it get a thoughtful review.
4353994
Whoops! I'm not sure that Bookplayer could ever forgive me for that typo. :V
4354002
Nah, Pinkie Pie doesn't show up in the story.
4354004
It's a good story! I'm sure a lot of folks have read it, but I'm sure at least some folks haven't, so hopefully it will encourage more to do so.
That last one sounds amazing. It even has good taste in shipping! :3
...says the dragon who goes around with the M filter on all the time.
Not that I read clop either... to do that I'd have to actually read some fiction.
Mmmm. I read Princest in Wincest based on your review, but I think you're a little too generous. While it was at times well put together, it never quite reached "clever" for me. The humor was more flat than laugh-out-loud funny.
Given that I hammered both of them out last night, I'm super annoyed now that CLAVDIVS CAESAR hasn't continued his DerpyMac series with the Dinky chasers.
Should I read the prequel before reading the Dinky story?
4354366
Maybe I'm just seven. :V
Sorry about that.
4354532
I don't think it is strictly necessary, as the events of the two stories aren't too closely linked.
4354474
Yeah, I was kind of sad when I came back to them all this time later and realized there weren't any more of them. Still, they stand on their own.
4354124
I don't even know what the last time I read a clopfic was.
I know this feel.
On the upside, though, I have been reading more again lately.
4354772
Nah. It was a good review.
Also, I'm not saying I stalk your reviews of anything, but I may have gone back and read all of the archives. And then read your entire read it sooner list to see if any of my fics or my favourite writers fics were on it.
4355033
I'm terribly flattered.
I think I've previously reviewed a lot of your stuff. I will review The Arbitrage of Moments at some point (I've read it before, so it isn't on my list) and I do plan on reading Siren Song, your 80 Days crossover fic, We Were Still In The Scaffold, and I Forgot I Was There at some point.
It will probably be a while before I get to the longer ones, though; I've got two Bookplayer novels to read that I've been putting off, as well as Salvation.
4355225
Eeee.
I think you will really like Salvation. It seems like your kind of story.
Thanks for the review
I have nothing meaningful to add 
4354366 I think that's a fair criticism. Many readers expressed a similar sentiment.
I think that, if I were to post the story today, I would leave the Comedy tag off. There's certainly comedy in there, but it's more Slice of Life/(really) light Drama than a true Comedy.
I also might remove some of the meandering descriptions about windows and muffins, but that's a separate issue.