Story Prompt: Rainbow Dash, History's Greatest Villain · 4:48pm May 7th, 2016
If you can -- and I'll understand completely if you have a few choice words for me after you do it -- please hit the following link and read this bit of work instead. Then come back.
Actually, take a moment to find some useful and non-murderous output for any sudden urge you may have to kill me, then come back.
(I've captured the author's text and that of my own reply, in case they're needed later. I'm not sure either one is going to last too long.)
So there's the concept. This writer thinks Rainbow is the worst thing ever, and in the context of the show, that's literally. This is -- an arguable viewpoint, at least in that a lot of people who see it are going to argue. I've already said my own piece in that Comments section, including my feelings that what was written is not a story.
But it could be.
Because deep in the heart of this essay-or-something is an idea.
As seen in the Comments, my first thought went to Twilight. She comes to this conclusion. How? Well... if I was going to write this for the 'verse... it's an allergic reaction to her own Periodicals section. Twilight has to put out the newspapers every morning. All of them, including those from Murdocks. And one day, she gets sick of the spin. Let's say she overhears somepony in the library agreeing with everything that's been written concerning a completely false interpretation of recent Canterlot events. (Time for Thistle Burr!) If I was using the Good For Nearly All Princess Labor Public And Private idea, this could be right after Celestia clears the farmer's land and the editorial section accuses her of wasting royal time on ridiculously minor priorities, three days after initially saying that if she didn't do it, she was just breaking her word again and being the disloyal lying traitor everypony of intelligence had recognized her as long ago.
Twilight gets angry. Words are being used not as recorders of fact or weavers of stories, but as weapons. She's sick of the lies. The pony she's arguing with doesn't see it that way, of course. It's just -- another way of viewing things, one which only the intelligent can appreciate. Twilight argues that it's nothing but an attempt to sling mud through spin, and anypony could do it if they wanted to -- whereupon the other pony challenges her to prove it.
So Twilight writes an essay. She looks back over a number of events and spins them to make Rainbow responsible for every bad thing, possibly ever.
And this essay then -- escapes.
Does the other pony steal it and spread it around town? Possibly. How about sending it to the newspaper? Special Guest Columnist! How far do we want this to spread? How many ponies are going to believe it, especially given that Special Guest Columnist and the fact that Twilight turns out to be pretty good at spin? What's the fallout? Gee, does anyone think Rainbow's reaction might be just a little bit interesting? How are we resolving this? And might the story end with Murdocks sending her a personal payment for the work, mostly comprised of counterfeit bits?
But that's me. Someone else could write almost the same story, leaving out all 'verse elements: it would be easy enough to come up with substitutes for the local vocabulary. Twilight (or somepony else) completely loses it and the conclusion is reached in paranoia. Or... a historian looks back from the distant future and gets everything wrong. Rainbow does a self-insert rewrite of herself as the bad guy to practice her writing skills. Maybe everything in the author's original piece is absolutely true, it's just that Rainbow's really bad at this evil stuff and nopony's managed to catch on. A frustrated MLP show writer stands in front of a convention audience and tries to convince them of what she'd intended all along.
(By the way, all of the immediately above are up for grabs.)
I may have only scratched the surface. Find enough writers for the concept and this thing may start shooting out stories like a fresh-tapped oil well.
Rainbow Dash, History's Greatest Villain
So... anyone think they can do something with that?
Or maybe... as if we just might need some sort of contest?
Georg can do it. I volunteer him.
There is no possible way this can go wrong!
3927450
FIMFic: Still Not A Military Operation
(At Least Not Until January 21st Of 2017, Depending On Certain Regional Election Results)
3927467
Fixed that for you.
I was mostly thrown out of my chair by the fact that the writer continually referred to Rainbow as a "he".
I mean, sure, I'm all for gender equality and the plight of the poor, downtrodden guys of Equestria*, but it seems a bit bizarre to make Rainbow into the only Token Member of the Opposite Sex.
Actually, that's also a germ for a story: Rainbow as the token guy, and how this affects the Mane Six's interpersonal relations. Male counterpart to Smurfette.
*actually, I'm not.
Meh sure might poke at it...
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If Rainbow Dash can hide the fact that she's the mastermind behind everything bad that ever happened ever, she can hide her stallion bits.
Though in this context, the joke might be that she's not even trying to hide either of both.
Wow. I have to wonder what color the sky is in that fellow's world. I want to say some manner of plaid. Between the cherry-picking, the baseless speculation, and the outright revisionist history... Intellectual dishonesty usually infuriates me, but this feels like getting mad at mold for growing on a bagel. It doesn't know what it's done wrong.
As for the prompt, given how Dash forged the bonds of destiny that unite the Bearers of Harmony, she really could be seen as the ultimate evil from the perspective of those who the Mane Six have thwarted. If it weren't for her, Nightmare Moon would have her utopia! Discord could enjoy life free of restrictions! Chrysalis's children wouldn't be starving in the desert! And so on and so forth.
Still, not sure if I'll be able to tackle this one. Not in the immediate future, anyway.
Well that was certainly ... something. Kind of like reading a couple of pages of Youtube comments.
EDIT: The author has now posted that little rant as a blog, so if the story link is gone you can still find it there.
Clearly we've been getting the show wrong all these years. Not only is Rainbow the villan of the piece, but is also transsexual! Who will enforce the trans' secret agenda to reassign everyponys gender once s/he is victorious.
It's a conspiracy! Wake up sheeple!
3927450 Huh? Oh, darn it. I didn't get my "Not it!" in first.
And, of course, immediately after saying I wouldn't be making anything of this, inspiration struck. It's very short, but you can find it here.
So, this is the kind of thing the new auto-approve system lets through then?
And Estee writes one of these down and gets swamped in upvotes in three...two...one...
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Token Stallion
Over the course of one week, in turn, each of the Mane Cast becomes the opposite sex for a single day.
(I am personally not doing anything with that.)
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We already had the crossdressing discussion. (The hardest 'bit' to hide is the jawline.)
There's no need to be insulting.
It's also a blog now? *looks* Huh. Well, that's probably coincidence. Because if it isn't, that just set the record for the most times someone on the Internet has listened to my advice.
(One.)
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And for those who process the other end of the paperwork: in that context, if it wasn't for Rainbow, Ponyville would be filing a lot less disaster relief forms. Remember, not only does that cover Bearer activities, but she's also directly responsible for the formation of the CMC.
*blink*
EVIL!
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...if this ends with a story about anypony having to submit to police examination before using a bathroom...
...I wouldn't be the least bit surprised.
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Thanks for the reminder. "Not it!"
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There are times when it's hard to tell deliberate trolling from the sincerely bad: a sort of fanfic Poe's Law, if you like. And I just didn't feel like being vicious today. I generally don't attack in Comments sections unless the provocation is especially direct, and sometimes... arguably, there are times when I should go on the offensive and don't. But attacking in this medium generally works exactly as well as trying to reason with people: not. at. all.
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"Al, what are you doing? Why are you bringing me into this?"
(echo... echo... echo...)
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Which was another thought I didn't put down. (Back when the auto-approval started, I did see a possibility of people writing two legitimate stories and then going all-out spam engine.) The removal from the New column says Meeester got to this one -- although oddly, the page remains available as of this writing.
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If by "upvotes," you mean "a flood of downvotes caused by my continued crimes against narration, sentence structure, comedy, satire, social commentary, the ability to put any two words together in coherent order, and my complete, fully-established-by-the-only-expert-who-can-quantify-it-at-all inability to properly assign a story to the necessarily quality of being pony," then yes.
...actually, it's not as if Cleverpun's all that likely to review me twice in one week.
Too many negative experiences writing for prompts for me to even attempt, but if anyone writes this, PLEASE let me know. The above looks like a fun idea!
Ah, that just makes me miss this story even more.
3927963 Me too.
3927903 I seem to remember learning of you through a certain assassination of a piano...
3927903 You know, you didn't call "Not it!" quick enough with Princess Pupae...
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So. This maggot fetish. Is it new?
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Be careful. Everyone knows I've killed ivory before.
...in conclusion, the most treacherous of villains can be the ones we least expect. They do not wear a mask or gloat at the top of a tall building about how they are going to destroy the world, but instead trot among us, using their anonymity to do far more damage than they ever could wearing tights and a cape. This anonymous villain may be closer than you expect, spoiling the works of common ponies as they attempt to raise Equestria to higher goals, or perhaps destroying things apparently by accident as they go about their day to day lives. They may not even know the damage they do to society, but blunder through life while unknowingly leaving a trail of destructions and ruin in their wake…
“Twilight, darling.” Rarity gently touched her friend on the shoulder as she twitched back to awareness at the table of the restaurant. The book Twilight had been so avidly reading lay on the table, almost read all the way to the end while a small pile of napkins sat nearby, next to her untouched cup of cold tea which she had ordered while waiting. “Are you feeling well?”
“Yes!” Twilight managed to knock over her glass of tea and soak the table before the two unicorns could get the spillage cleaned up. “I’m sorry, Rarity. I was just so into this latest book by Alibi Dofensclopper about villains and their behavior. I mean since it’s winter and we haven’t had any big scary villains come out of the woodwork and wreak destruction on Ponyville, I thought I would try to study up on their techniques and get ahead of the game, so to say.”
Rarity rolled her eyes and slid into the opposite chair, leaving the menu intact. “Really, darling. I don’t think a book has the answers to those kinds of questions. I mean Tirek most certainly did not write a book on how to defeat him. You really need to sit back and relax a little. Why I just came out of the kitchen where Topper is putting the finishing touches on decorating the cake for Princess Celestia’s visit tomorrow. You should go back and take a look at it, really. Before something happens to—”
There was a loud cry as a rainbow of colors streaked past, through the window of the restaurant, and ending with a loud crash that blew frosting and pieces of cake back out of the hole that Rainbow Dash had made during her impact. Rarity looked at the dab of frosting that now decorated the tip of her hoof and took a quick taste.
“Oh, well. It was such a beautiful job of frostingwork too. I guess Princess Celestia’s visit tomorrow will just have to be cakeless. I hope that doesn’t trouble you, Twilight. I know how much this trip meant for you, and how everything was supposed to be just perfect. Darling?”
Twilight Sparkle did not seem to be listening. Instead, she stared with wide eyes at the glob of frosting decorating the front of her book. “No,” she whispered. “It can’t be. But it makes so much sense. The formation of the Cutie Mark Crusaders. The destruction of the Cloudsdale Weather Factory. Mare Do Well. They all fit.”
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{TheTodd}Something wonderful just happened.{/TheTodd}
{TheTodd}Something terrible just happened.{/TheTodd}
It can be both!
So are you running with this? It's a promising start.
I'm pretty sure I can take this idea and subvert it a bit into something positive. Not that I'll really have any time to write until Monday.
The "Token Stallion" idea, though, I think I'd rather play straight. It's just question of whether it lands in Teen or Mature.
3928427 I really can't say. Depends on the muse. If I were a commercial writer, I'd starve to death, because I can only write what I feel like at the moment. I'll keep it in my writing pool and see what grows.
Rainbow Dash always found history class boring. All it involved was reading stories about a bunch of old, dead ponies. Definitely not awesome. But when Rainbow Dash discovers a scroll enabling her to travel back in time, she figures out how to make history a little more interesting. After all, those books won't be so boring if they're about her saving the world. With that scroll, Rainbow Dash will be able to make herself into... history's greatest hero.
What could possibly go wrong?
I just want to see Rainbow Dash slowly spin around in a chair with an eyepatch over one eye while stroking Tank in her lap and cackling maniacally.
3927523 If you're going to replicate the Smurfs, then you've got to have MLP replace every other word with "Pony" like the Smurfs do with their own species. From now on Applejack doesn't grow Apples, she grows Ponyberries (and her name is now Apple Smurf). Flutterspony raises beast-ponies, Rariponyis a Ponyinista, Pony Pie is a Ponety planner, and Ponelight Sparkle is a Ponebrarian/ Ponecess.
3927963 3928038 Is there any information on what happened to PotatoJoe?
3929555 Not as far as I know. They've been on FIMFic every couple of months or so, but not blogs or updates.
For some reason I just find the idea of Rainbow Dash of all characters being an evil mastermind hilarious.
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...I never knew how much I needed this in my life until now. XD