RIP, and goodbye · 11:29pm Dec 9th, 2014
TL;DR with explanations below:
-Giving up all present/promised future writings
-Apologies
-Account hiatus/goodbye
Rant+Explanation=Ranxplanation below:
Well, this was quite a 3 year venture wasn't it? Here I once was, inexperienced and still of a virgin literary puckhole, full of vigor and excitement for cartoon ponies. Started from the bottom, now we're... somewhere. And all I had to do was capitalize on the hype of one single story rather than slowly build up an actual reputation on the site write stuff that I wanted to write. :P
I've met lots of people. Some, experienced writers, others even more late to the fandom than I was. And even the asshole critics that suck the fun out of the writing process, and have nothing to do but poison other people's lives with negativity from their very own. Nearly all the experiences I had on this site helped me grow as a person and a writer, which I'm grateful for.
Which leads me to this:
First, and foremost, please don't take the "high-and-mighty" formality of this note seriously; that's another thing I have to apologize for: My writing. I swear that whenever I write something, I get so formal with the word and sentence structure and "hold myself" in my blogs and comments where I think I'm important that I'm afraid you guys think I'm being condescending, that the follower count is boosting my ego, overcompensating for real life sociability/phallus size, and/or that I think you're all *ahem* (cue Victorian-era English accent) illiterate rodents that won't understand my superior mastery of the English vernacular and literary references to my educated reading list *monocled middle-class guffaw*(end accent).
It's just how I write whenever I write something personal (or in third person), which I absolutely hate. So, if that was a big turn-off for you that reflected badly of myself or my writing, I apologize.
The main thing I wanted to talk about is, well, this goodbye. I promised something to most of you that I feel I can no longer provide, more specifically the Behemoth sequel. I feel so withered, restricted, and bored with pony fiction and the lore/physical limitations (personally I feel that this is no longer just fan-fiction anymore. We're crafting stories and our own universes within the lore, and it's coming to the point where what the fandom produces is of similar or greater quality than what the original content can provide, in my opinion. But that's just me), and whatever ideas I think up of are, one, written about to the point that it's just beating a dead horse (puns!) or, two, I just lose interest/ get distracted from writing said ideas.
That, combined with college, general uncertainty of my future, and rather personal feelings I'd rather keep to myself, I can't find myself writing about anything. Right after I finished Behemoth, my 15 year old self wanted to write things that my present 18 year old self just can't find interest in. It's coming to the point that whenever I really want to write something, I feel restricted from doing so and guilty because I told everyone that wanted a Behemoth sequel to follow me, not because I was follower hungry (well...maybe) but because I thought I was actually going to write it... for realsies; I felt obligated to, as my general philosophy in life is that if you can't give what you promised, than you're just another (pardon my surrender-speak, I mean ,French) shit-stain that's preserving the state the world is in. So... I guess I'm just another shit-stain... and a hypocrite at that. I'm genuinely surprised that I pretend to still be a writer and participant on this site, while there are still people with actual talent, regardless of their follower count or how many likes and view counts they have, that have proven to have more talent in the writing game than I ever did.
So, I'm going to be direct: I'm going to start fresh. I'm giving up everything that this account once was. To all the followers expecting the Behemoth sequel, I'm terribly sorry, but it's not something that's ever going to be released. So, I would prefer if you would unfollow me. I'd rather earn your attention, not just manipulate into getting approval for something that's never going to come.
And... I'm going to leave this account for a while. I don't know if I'm going to leave it alone for a few weeks, or just kill it out-right. But I'm going to stay off the site definitely. Not the "visiting every few days and editing every now and then" thing that I've been doing, but actually closing down the account and stop writing/editing pony-fics so I could just get the guilt off my chest and get some perspective on things right now.
Thanks for everything that you folks have done for me, you lovely, lovely people. I won't forget this site, and all the great things that I've experienced on here. I'd suck all your dicks if I could out of gratitude I'm very grateful for the opportunities and feedback that this community has given me, and sorry for all the... inappropriate remarks that are crossed out. That's my version of humor nowadays.
I consider each and every one of you family to me, and the best of luck to all of you in any of your mundane endeavors
Stay safe, all. <3
Thank you, and I hope that the situation can change for the better and you can revisit here.
I'll miss your drunken changeling ass. Your one of the few people I like on here. Peace be with you.
Always thought you were cool man, still do, still will, have fun with whatever you end up doing! ^_^
Gotta do what you feel you need to do, man!
Take care
Hey man, no problem. Do what ever you need to. Real life comes before anything online. Unless online is interfering with life. Then you take care of your virtual problems first. I'll miss you and your stories.
We're crafting stories and our own universes within the lore, and it's coming to the point where what the fandom produces is of similar or greater quality than what the original content can provide, in my opinion. But that's just me), and whatever ideas I think up of are, one, written about to the point that it's just beating a dead horse (puns!) or, two, I just lose interest/ get distracted from writing said ideas.
While I see your point from your perspective, I don't think this fandom is as dead as people make it out to be. These stories are fun and I will probably always find them fun, years from now when I occasionally poke around on an old archive I downloaded.
However, I can certainly understand writing your own stories. Or on anything else you are planning on doing. I do think you're being quite hard on yourself. Hopefully you will, one day, learn that your writing or what you do does matter and it's not shit or whatever it is your feeling.
Byebye~
PS. I can't un-follow you, I don't feel the need. If you REALLY want me to then PM me I suppose. I followed you cause I liked your writing, I never expected anything.
"We make our own luck." Spartan 117
Thank you for sharing your precious time on this planet with us. I loved every moment you revealed your ideas to us, those who will never understand nor see the real things that go on in that wonderous place we call your imagination.
Get out there and take life by the horns! Never stop running the race. Know this, if you fall down and need a helping hand, we are here for you.
Godspeed, and live to your full potential. Req out~
I'll say the same thing I once said to a very good friend who up and quit his admin job.
Take your hiatus, take as long as you need. Years, decades. When you come back, we'll be here. Waiting to welcome you back.
I wish you the best of luck in whatever endeavours you wish to undertake in your future. No hard feelings here. It's been fun, man.
when i first read behemoth i loved it, one of the very first stories i read on this site, i followed you not because i wanted a sequel but because if an author can create such a great story then by god i have no doubt they can do it again.
im not going to ask you to stay, just that your account stays so that i can continue to read your magnificent stories
wherever life takes you i hope that you remember your towel and that you will remember the good from this site, like we will remember the good youve given us
best of luck with your future endeavors, you will be missed
-Exaxxion
I'll miss you, dude.
This makes me sad. I never really look at my notifications so I didn't read this until you had been gone for weeks. I'm writing this comment because when I followed you I didn't even know that you were a writer. I just followed you because I was new and liked what you had to say. The first group I ever joined was the Kishin hate group you made. Also where I left my first comment. Not only those two points, but you were also the first person I followed. I hope you do come back one day the comment sections are missing some of their shine without you.
goodbye bro, and farewell, and I think I speak for all of us when I say, you have changed us, and it was a fun run, and I don't wanna say goodbye