Storytime With Rust, Vol. III · 1:57am Oct 21st, 2014
>be rust
>basically just like you only not a faggot
>its fucking winter
>its fucking new england
>there's fucking snow all over the place
>nutsack almost internal, bitch be cold out today
>friend (we'll call him neckbeard) calls me up
>"Yo dude, we fixed up the old snowmobile, come over so we can fuck around with it!"
>ferbiknowwhatwearegonnadotoday.gif
>drive over in the shagwagon (the real one, 2003 subaru outback, earned nickname before it lived up to the legend, ironically)
>neckbeard is in the backyard with the other two faggots we hand out with
>sicilian mexican is paco
>buff pervert asshole is pedolifter
>old fucking snowmobile that must have been pulled out of your grandmother's taint is there
>spewing smoke and shit, sounds like the death cry of mating banshees
>"cool, right?"
>it's fucking beautiful man
>so we start fucking around with it, doing donuts and drinking beers because we're teenagers and bored
>paco gets idea to tie rope to it, ride a sled
>we tie him to snowmobile and sit on him
>hide that fucker across the border
>neckbeard has better idea
>"let's make a jump!"
>pedolifter and i concur
>this could not possibly backfire
>2 hours of intense drunken labor pass
>we construct a solid ramp of ice and snow tall enough to fling a man through a second story window
>i want to stick my dick in it but it can't fight back so there's no point
>we pull neckbeard up to snowmobile's top speed (fucking thing barely hit 30, pos)
>he kisses the stratosphere
>faceplants in the yard
>we probably should have built a ramp
>"we probably should have built a ramp" paco says
>shut up you dirty immigrant go clean my house
>we build a ramp
>paco is sent to time out
>my turn
>sit down on tiny little plastic disc sled they sell at walmart for ten bucks
>by now everyone's piss drunk
>pedolifter gets out camera
>neckbeard hits the gas
>rope tightens
>we left it all coiled up and it hooks on my leg
>leg is caught
>pulling on my leg
>pulling leg
>i'm pulling your leg
>rope is not caught im fucking with you
>hit godly ramp at speed
>i somehow thought it would be a bright idea to jump upwards at very top of ramp to get even more air
>time slows
>yard is upside down
>i am standing on the sky
>gravity reaserrts itself
>physics retaliates
>rotation completes
>buttland on sled
>ride away like a badass
>pedolifter dropped camera to puke
>can't prove it happened
>we shun him from all further Klan meetings
And that is the story of how I drunkenly backflipped an eight-foot redneck launch pad to the stars and stuck the landing with my ass.
Next time, we finally molest Billy.
PS pic related, is the face i make when i spooge
I live in new england too, there isnt any snow here.
2546481
shut your whore mouth this was like three years ago GOD
so buteeful i cri evrtim
Gotta love drunken ideas, eh?
~Skeeter The Lurker
Rust is one of the most followed users on Fimfiction and has written several acclaimed stories.
So much testosterone in one story...
gifsforum.com/images/gif/I%20came/grand/I-came-eccbc87e4b5ce2fe28308fd9f2a7baf3-1362.gif
New OTP: Sled x Rust's Ass. Bst OTP evr.
In all that charlie foxtrot, you manage to
say something majestic.
2546514
that feel ;-;
This is two layers of unacceptable.
2546644
too negatives make it wright
2546654
Ate layers.
Laughed so hard almost died thanks fir that.
Ok.
That sounds fucking badass. Win!
2546898
u wot m8
Yea, my bro, our friends, and me did something similar, but we did it with a Rodeo. Wish I had worn shin guards and knee pads though, you get jacked up with big air in a truck when you are inside it, seat-belt or no.
We should'a just gave that shit to Canada. Nothing but pine trees up there. Heard it was good fishing, tho.
2547127
i want to eat your delicious powdered toast face
The shagwagon is real? Got amy pics?!
2547183 You got it backwards bro, Canada shoulda given their shit to us. Instead, they stayed with the
dorksBritish.Inb4 Ethan Allen lost Canada for us in the war of 1812.
Inb4 Jack is not related to that drunk, woman-abusing arse.
Good to have you back Rusty.
Goddammit, I can't breathe.
2548654
don't call it a comeback, I've been here for years
rocking my peers and putting suckas in fear
gr8 b8 m8 i r8 8/8
2549995
skeet skeet skeet
2549086
Rusty say knock me out! Huh!