A Big Decision · 7:48am Jul 27th, 2014
I'm going to take a hiatus from writing as a whole. And I don't know if I'll come back. For those who favorited The Nightmare Hour, just find the underline.
I've been thinking if I want to do this or not since the last blog post, and pretty much to gauge whether or not I should, I did something I don't usually do: play lots of video games.
Sounds stupid, right? Like, when I'm not writing or checking tumblr or youtube, what am I doing? Probably playing video games. But it hasn't been. Not for at least 6 months.
For these six months that I was sitting around not writing the last two chapters of The Nightmare Hour, except for the short period of time that Dark Souls 2 came out... I would always find myself in a weird limbo. I have a document open, sitting there, and I don't want to look at it cause the idea of writing just stresses me out too much, and I won't play video games cause I'll feel horrid guilt because it isn't something I'm supposed to be doing. In my mind, I was supposed to be writing as much as possible.
And now I'm really sick of this feeling. And of course, lo and behold, I have been playing lots of video games all week, and hugely enjoying it. So I need to take a break.
Still sounds stupid? Let me level with you all some more. This gets a little personal now but I don't mind that.
In my third semester of college (and probably my second one as well), I had depression and anxiety (this would have been Fall 2010). This wrecked my grades, leaving me with literally a 0 on that semester because all I did was play League of Legends and eat and hang out with friends that also played League of Legends. I didn't go to classes, do laundry. I was barely living. I dropped out (or rather, simply did not sign up for classes and never looked back), and then like two months later I found mlp, and a month after that, cranked out all of Epiphany and a lot of Out of the Blue, which was a lot of words in like two and a half months. And basically from then on, my writing pace has been entirely inconsistent, usually only writing when I come up against deadlines, or came up with a crazy idea I really cared about, and wrote it up in a week. In fact, The Nightmare Hour is the closest thing I had to any kind of consistent writing schedule, and I totally screwed that up eventually.
This is why I have a job at McDonalds right now, instead of continuing school. College scares the shit out of me and I can't deal with the stress again. Even staying in a community college for a few years to get my GPA above 2 and get my AA degree was doing shit to my mind that I really, really think was bad for me.
It's long been my own opinion that, as much as I like writing as a hobby, it seems to only pop up when I'm depressed. I had a big writing phase in HS as well that I just stopped, for no apparent reason at all, other than I think I came out of that as well. I think keeping up this pattern isn't healthy.
So I'm going to try something else. It'll be hard, but I want to do it eventually (and I'll say what it is if it actually goes anywhere). So for now, I'm going to not write until I know if I really like writing or not, because if it's just my coping mechanism, I sure as hell don't want to keep it around.
Sorry folks, but consider The Nightmare Hour on indefinite Hiatus.
And if you think I'm going about this the wrong way, I'd be happy to hear if you think I should keep writing, cause I'm all out of answers.
Niiiiines, don't go! Or at least stick about if you don't write!
Sounds to me though that it isn't writing that's the problem, it's gaming. I have the same problem, that is why I generally don't allow myself near games. I just get 100% addicted and they turn into timesinks where that is all I do.
2319606
Don't worry, I'm not leaving the fandom or anything. There just won't be any activity here really.
Honestly, if I've been having to force myself to game at all over the last 6 months, I don't think it's an addiction of any kind. All writing does is stress me out and whenever I think about all the things I want to do that involve video games, my brain follows it up with "but then I don't have time to write!" and I don't like that line of thought.
2319607
Oh, I see, gotcha. Yeah, that makes sense.
Ow. I know about that whole "can't work 'cause it stresses me, can't do fun stuff because I'll feel guilty" thing from personal experience, but getting it between two things that are supposed to be your hobbies? Many, many ows.
On the bright side, you now have 6 months' worth of game backlog to work through.
Sounds like you need to take some time to think about what you want out of life in general, more than whether writing is good for it or not. Hope you straighten everything out soon!
nooooo ;_;
*hugs*
Nines, I've been in the same boat, several times. Writing is meant to be a labor of love. If you don't love it, then come back to it when you do. Remember, though - nothing is permanent. Even quitting. Love ya, y'big dork.
You're not the only one, sadly.
I'm not talking about myself (because I write crap out of boredom during my daily train rides to work), but one prominent example I can remember is AbsoluteAnonymous. Some big troubles at home, and BAM - she spits out The Games We Play. Once the problems are settled, she says goodbye never to return here (at least not as a writer).
It makes me wonder, actually, how many of the writers here produce their work out of depression/stress/life problems. Does price to write pony fanfics have to be so high?
Blood started as a coping mechanism for me, to deal with the end of a six year relationship. But, for a while, it was in this weird limbo because the emotions fueling the story changed as I gradually stitched my life back together. That may or may not be evident in the second leg of the story, chapters eleven through fourteen. So, what I mean is, I understand how writing can function as a way to deal with a situation. I think it's like that for a lot of people.
However, I can also tell you that once my life did start to get back on the right track, my will to write did not leave me. My inspiration changed completely, though, which was interesting.
So, bottom line, try going on hiatus and getting your stuff in order, but don't be afraid to write if the mood strikes, either.
Do what you have to do.
I sure as hell will go crazy wondering about the myriad of unsolved mysteries and untied plot points, though.
But yeah, do what you have to do.
well if you have to force yourself to write then it makes no sense^^ its supposed to be just as much fun for you as it is to us. Its sad though to see yet another epic mlp/P4 crossover (probablly) die. *sigh*
well, enjoy your games dude^^ If you want a recommendation, try Tales of Xillia^^
Well, Bye i guess.