Hello Me, How are You? · 3:48pm Jul 15th, 2014
You ever have that self-doubt when comparing yourself with other people? Ever have it when comparing yourself with yourself? Specifically, your past self?
Let me explain: this is not some metaphysical conundrum about reincarnation. More, it's the latest episode in the movie version of my fandom life entitled: You're Not As Good As You Used To Be. I like to think everyone goes through this, though maybe it's just me. Maybe nobody else goes back to reread their old fics once they're done.
It has been over seven months since I last posted a chapter of Playing With My Heart and a few weeks ago I finally started up again on the new chapter. Of course, after seven months I was worried about forgetting my own fanon, so I've been listening to Goombasa's reading of the last ten chapters to brush up my knowledge so I don't make an utter fool of myself. I'm up to Chapter 7 and ... yesterday while out walking my dog, I just stopped in the middle of the field, pulled out my headphones, stared at them and thought I wrote this? After seven months, I can't help but feel the next chapter needs to be the equivalent of Nicholas Cage in a bear suit flying through a flaming hoop on Rainbow Dash's back while reciting the Russian alphabet backwards to live up to expectations.
So ... yeah.
Eeep.
Um ...
Oh look, a new Emerald Comet review!
I get that feeling literally every time I go back and read old chapters as I'm writing a new one. I stare at a certain sentence written three months ago, then stare at the sentence I wrote five minutes ago and wonder where it all went wrong.
I know the feeling. I rarely am happy with my own writing while I'm actually working on it, but then I'll reread it later and go "wow, I'm better than I give myself credit for!" But then any new writing I do looks inferior by comparison, which is extremely frustrating.
2287654 Couldn't agree more.
I know that feeling all to well. I'm scared of writing any new for my one story. I'm afraid that I might write something so bad that it ruins the whole story that so many people really like. So you are not a alone in that feeling.
Eeyup.
I know that feeling. I'm writing my first fanfic and I'm a bit afraid of how it turns out. By "turns out", I mean my writing. Even while I'm writing, I go through it to correct some spelling and grammar mistakes. I really don't to screw my story up and go "Did I really just write this?" 
Oh no, how did you get hold of Alexstrasza's next chapter of Nic Cage vs Ponies!!
...I can somehow realte to this.
Everytime I'm baking. It just seems that all those breads I made are so much better than, well what I produce nowadays....(And I can't even blame my oven for it...still is the same 10year new thing)
Well with your writing(all of you authors there) have it a little bit easyer I think... not much but a little.
Don't envy you.. with all those expectations everyone seems to have....
We believe in you.
I might actually want to see that in a movie--probably be part of a dream sequence but still...
...anyway, I defieantly know how you feel. As an artist who's been classically trained living in the new age of art that's presented (and created) digitally I go threw this a lot. I have to first draw out the scene on a piece of paper, ink it, scan it, alter it digitally (adding colors, textures, lighting effects, etc) before its all done.
But by the time I go back to drawing again, I'm a little rusty and my skills aren't as good as the last work...even though that one was finished...
The truth of the matter is that all of your works--be the individual, stand-alone stories or chapters part of a larger whole--won't be of the same quality. Some will be a little better than others and some will be an opus, shinning brighter than anything else you've done.
What you need to do is listen to everyone here that's posted and have faith in You; you make wonderful works that we all adore...and we want to see more of it--promise!
Octavia must recover. Make it so!!
I-I-I mean... please?
I had to take a brief moment to visualise this in it's complete glory.
s29.postimg.org/fnkmhrton/ncibcrrdwftfh.png
We have faith in you. Your stories, and especially this one, have never failed to enthrall me. Take your time.
PS. - You have no idea how thrilled I am to hear that you're picking up 'Playing With My Heart' again. That story has been playing with my heart since I first joined Fimfic. I'm always checking to see if it's updated.
Self doubt is probably a very natural emotion, I too have a project I started on long ago and I just restarted with, though I have not done 10 chapters on it yet, I feel intimidated and I wonder if I should continue working on it, because I think the idea itself deserves a better creator than me.
But don't let self doubt bring you down! :) Yes, you DID write that, and when you write more to it, it will be in the Scribbler way. And that is why we love it!
Looking forward to hearing from you!
//Loyal fan: FittingUsername
I totally get where you're coming from. I think every creator looks back on their work and always says, "I should have done this" or "I should have changed this", but if you ask me, for anyone that makes content, it's perfectly normal, and I think it does motivate you to make your future work better. But you should know that the fics I've read by you are really good and I have every ounce of confidence that when the next chapter goes up you'll have put your all into it
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I get those feeling too. A perfect example of me writing something and, when looking back asking, why and how the hell did I write that (talking about a crap Fic here) and never wanting to look or even think about it again.
For yours and everypony else's sakes I will not say the name of the fic' because I'm ashamed I ever wrote and posted it online. Let me a sure you, it was utter crap and you'd wish you'd never read it if you did.
On hone plus side, because it was so crap, I'll never fall into a trap like that one again, hence the fics I've written on this site
I've only ever written one story, but I get that feeling with other stuff. I used to be the Hebrew Spelling Bee champion, but now my little cousin spells better than me. I used to be able to read Harry Potter 1-7 in two weeks, but now it takes me at least three. I used to be one of the fastest and strongest girls in my grade, and now I'm stuck with getting seven minutes fifty something seconds for third or fourth place on the mile run. Just don't worry about it. I bet you still write incredibly.
You fall off the wagon and sometimes it's hard to get yourself back up to speed again. But that you've been able to produce good writing in the past is a signal that, even if it takes some time to get back there, you're still capable of it. :) Give yourself time.
I have had a similar experience before but not with fanfiction. This past May I was reading through an essay of the previous semester to help me with the essay that I was having to right for another class. When I read it I thought the same thing you did, how did I write this? I suppose we never really understand truly what we can really do. During the spring semester my grades had fallen greatly as I had fallen into something of a depression at the time, and when I was surrounded by self doubt and other negativity I couldn't produce anything that compared to my previous essay. Our skills and creativity are greatly influenced by what is going on in our lives at the time, and maybe if you think back to when you were last writing that will help you. I really look forward to more of this story as it has become one of my favorites. I am sure that you will be able to continue on writing just as well as you did before if not better. Hope this helps.
Its not much of a concern to me as whether or not my writing is better than someone else's, or if it's even an improvement from my older works. Whenever I work on something, I always ask myself the question "How do I make this interesting?" instead of "How do I emulate this person's style?" because by setting yourself up to follow one specific goal like say mimicking a person's style, you're limiting your scope of thinking into believing you can only make enjoyable writing by following one path.
I also remember how not everyone might have the same tastes. There's a lot of works out there that are considered masterpieces because they are written so well, yet they put me to sleep because they aren't my cup of tea. Just because you or anyone else is writing something that might not be considered flawless, doesn't mean it can't be enjoyed.
Just write your works with the mindset as something to be enjoyed, and not like a competition where you have to compete with everyone (including yourself).
Heh, you're telling me. Just the other day I was writing some of the next chapter of my only story on FIMFic which has been on hiatus for a couple months at least and I haven't put any new chapters since almost a year ago. After writing a couple hundred words I though that it really wasn't up to snuff. I mean, I won't profess to good writing, but taking a break from it (forced, by just lacking something to write, or not) seems to dull the edge of the metaphorical pen or at least make the ink dry up and coagulate a bit.
I've also occasionally read stuff I've written for school in the past and thought "Did I really write that?" in both good and bad ways. Sometimes things turn out pretty well, other times one thinks that it's not a very good example of their writing.
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I try not to compare myself to others too much, at least not when it comes to writing or art in general. Nothing good comes of that... at least not usually.