It's good to be bad

How was I not informed of this until now?!

I'm Bad Horse, and I approve of this message.

Comments

[Chessie]

I do love a Jag. There's just something about those cars that is...sinister. Just a little. Not quite so much as a Mazaratti Quattro or similar, but...joyfully sinister.

-Chessie

[Cold in Gardez]

How have you not seen that, like, a thousand times by now? It was all over the place.

[Westphalian_Musketeer]

You can't rule an empire upon which the sun never sets without getting a bad reputation.

[Corejo]

1906023
some of us just live under rocks, apparently, myself included.

[Bronze Statue]

The best Jag since the E-type, from what I've heard.

[Misplaced Mage]

Apparently, Bad Horse was not bad enough to have been informed of this. This implies that he may not be that bad, i.e., that while he may still be bad at being good, he is also somewhat bad at being bad.

Does this mean he will have to change his screen name to "Not-So-Bad Horse"?

[Bad Horse]

1906095 I'm a fan of the 1997-2008 XJR, myself. Big round dual headlights, cat on the hood. More of a classy, dirty-old-man car. The 2004-2008 XJR is a large supercharged luxury sedan that seats 5 comfortably, gets 20mpg, and can do 0 to 60 in under 5 seconds. A Bentley with similar performance gets 10mpg.

Trunk space is small, though. And there's no connections for a trailer hitch.

moibibiki.com/images/jaguar-xjr-white-7.jpg

[eisenstein80060]

brother you have been on all the wrong parts of youtube

[Blue_Paladin42]

I personally find the old Jaguar XK-E to be the sexiest car ever conceived. 60's or otherwise.

upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/9/9b/Jaguar_E-Type_S1_4.2_Roadster.jpg/800px-Jaguar_E-Type_S1_4.2_Roadster.jpg

Mmmmm.

[Axis of Rotation]

Better late than never!

[Georg]

Um.... I suppose you'll be wanting the Jag back? I was just keeping it warm for you, honest! Well, dishonest, I suppose.

[FanOfMostEverything]

I'd assumed your intelligence network had already brought it to your attention. I'm sure you were busy with some other dastardly endeavor.

[TheJediMasterEd]

I drive a Kia. Because it's not quite a Hyundai, but they're trying.

I keep hoping Bad Horse will say to me, "You drove here in a Kia!" Because he's not quite Alec Baldwin, but he's trying.

[Titanium Dragon]

1906025
Well, you know what they say. The Sun never sets on the British Empire because God doesn't trust them in the dark.

Though personally I preferred this ad, even though I drive a Toyota:

[Westphalian_Musketeer]

1907605 That's a new take on that phrase for me. I like it!

[Bad Horse]

1907033 If I had to give up my Jaguar, I wouldn't mind having a 2003 Kia Optima. I am not kidding. The interior and exterior styling is obviously copied from the Jaguar XJ8. Look at this interior; it's a direct copy of my Jaguar interior above, just with less wood paneling and some manual controls instead of automatic (handbrake, glovebox release):

bradleyjacobs.com/carputer2/dash.JPG

Unfortunately Kia went away from the stylish grille and the sensuously-curved rear end after 2003, and eventually removed the round fog lights.

I'd more likely go with a Mazda6 or Mazda3, though.

[yamgoth]

Oh, what a horrifying tale that BH's picture tells. It's kinda hard to tell, being it nighttime, but if you'll notice, he's wearing his horse head and about to go on a leisurely drive.

That's not a mask.

That's how he really frigging looks like. I should know. I've been looking into his past of lies and fallacy, a gigantic trail of forged papers and bizarre uses of Sharpies. It ain't pretty, that's for sure. It's the kind of shit that makes warm blood freeze and stomachs churn in disgust. Oh, and platypi and plecostomi will also rain from the sky if the right comets, stars, and space junk align properly.

Imagine the next time you're off on a midnight jog to the 7 Eleven to grab a bag of Cheetos Puffs and a box of Durex (sicko). You're having a merry adventure in the dark when suddenly you feel something large and heavy nudge the back of your leg. You look around, expecting a friend playing some stupid joke or maybe even a stray shopping cart. Instead, you find that some sort of fancy car has been tailgating you on the sidewalk.

Some sort of daemonic horse furry is at the wheel and you frown a little when the supposed plastic lips slowly upturn into a lascivious smirk. You turn forwards once more and continue on your way, this time at a brisk pace, hoping that this incident will soon be forgotten.

That, my friend, is a big mistake.

Instead, fucking book it and COVER YOUR FUCKING ASS! Do not let the Bad Horse get you or he’ll make you his mare! Serpentine as he follows you. Parkour over the fences and onto the rooftops and don't look behind (yes, his car is driving on the roof). Hurl yourself through a church window, yes the really expensive stained glass kind. Just get the fuck out of there.

Oh, and I'll probably be there to steal your boots and whatever Brony Tears are left when he's done, like some sort of spindly scavenger. If my walking is matching your running, there is something terribly wrong. You should prolly drink more Red Bull, eh?

So beware the Bad Horse, fine young lass
His choice in cars are of the most class
He'll ram you with his bumper of great mass
He's worse than the Four Horseman and he'll break your bloody ass
Don't you wish you lived your life a lot less crass?
How sad, but comfy, with my new shoes, alas!

Those are some sexy arms, BTW ^_~