Lack of Activity · 3:29am Feb 25th, 2014
Well, howdy there, folks.
I'm betting some of you are starting to think I've done went and died, huh? Well, not too far from the truth depending on how you look at it, but no, I'm still alive. Even if I'm not really kicking. Truth is, past few months I've been going through a rather difficult "all time low" type deal. Same shit as before I became a Brony, different day. And for once, ponies aren't as helping as much as they used to. Don't get me wrong-- they still keep me from doing something extremely stupid and they keep me rather sane, but I'm still finding it rather hard to pull myself up from out of this funk. I guess loneliness and feeling unappreciated will often do that to someone; however, I had thought that by now I'd be used to both feelings. They've been with me for as long as I can remember, after all.
I guess it kind of started when some of my family came over to visit during the holidays, which was the mark of when I stopped being productive; usually, family is pretty important. However, the constant fawning over my sister and "how much she's grown" soon began to grate on my nerves. Even my brother, who has been in juvenile detention for the vast majority of his high school experience, received more attention then I. These were relatives I've not seen in a long while, mind you, and all they could seem to do was go on and on about my sister's impressive track record before she injured herself, or my brother's goal to get into culinary school. They didn't care that I was working 38+ hours a week to get me back on my feet after having money stolen from me by my ex-roommates. They didn't care that I have three semi-successful fictions. Didn't care that I'm slowly improving my lot in life once again, two years after I found the very thing that helped me find my way again. After a while, it didn't even hurt; it just really irritated me.
They finally all left, and just when I began the fight to shake off my low self-esteem issues and get back to writing again, Valentine's Day arrives in all its glory, glaringly reminding me that I've been single for the past six years, despite my best efforts to find a girlfriend who'll put up with my craziness. Naturally, seeing all of those couples happy together, even if it was for that single day, reminded me of my own shortcomings (perceived or real). And naturally, my siblings having fun with their own romances didn't help either. So naturally, I'm roughly right back where I began all those years ago. Always feeling inadequate.
Anyway, not sure exactly why I posted this blog. Maybe because some distant part of me wanted to rant at something. Not entirely sure when I'll be able to start writing again. I'm hoping it will be soon, but I have no real way of knowing. I could wake up tomorrow, feel right as rain, and then dive right into catching things up. Even just sitting here typing this blog, I can see the 50+ story updates awaiting my attention. But as of right now, I cannot really bring myself to start reading them. So again, I'm sorry, and feel free to rage and complain at this bad news as you see fit. Goodness knows I probably deserve it. Take care.
~Ravenhide.
Nah dude it's fine. You needed to vent so you vented it's totally fine.
We all have our low points, and I can relate to needing an audience to vent to. so take your time to feel better and when you're ready, get back to your kick-ass writing.
I wish I could help you find a girlfriend who can put up with your craziness (and possibly even help you write), but I can't because I don't know you in person, I have no idea where you live, and I have no idea what your usual areas are like. What I can tell you though is that those of us here on FiMFiction who follow you care (at least a little bit). The sad part about people caring over the internet is that you can't go to those who need a hug and hug them. Pinkie might be able to do so, but I don't think she's mastered dimension hopping quite yet.
If it makes you feel better keep on ranting I will actually read every single of your ranting blogs, cause I sure as hell would want someone to read or listen to me do so.
My advice is to work on your apathy. Family ignores you? Ignore them back. No girlfriend? Fuck it, more free time to do what you want and get your life on track. It is amazing how much stress you can save on by simply not caring about things. Remember, the people that matter will accept you for who you are, and the people that try to belittle you for being different do not matter so fuck them.
I can't say that I really know how you feel, but the "down lows" happen to us all from time to time, even though I've never had it as bad as you.
Regardless, vent if you need to, and take the time to get back up. We'll wait
Well, you should have made pancakes. Then be called pancake boy. Then when someone takes more than they should you shiv them with a pen to show you mean business. This solves the stolen money problems.
Then learn to live off small praise and you are in awe at any you get.
Solved my inadequacy problems. Small praise becomes massive
I totally understand the need to rant now and then. And believe me, I know where you're coming from with the loneliness, and how tough it can be at times. That's been the toughest hurdle I've ever had to get over, and it is a high one. The only advice I can give on that is to accept it and move on. I've come to the conclusion that I'm one of those people that aren't likely to find my mate, and accepted it (as sad as that might be). Now someday, I might be able to change that, and keep that hope alive deep down inside, but for now, it is, what it is.
I don't know. I'm trying to help, but articulating these feelings and my thoughts on the matter isn't easy. Just know that you aren't alone in this feeling, and there's someone out there rooting for you. I'll shut up now before I do more damage than help.
Yea, I feel ya, bro. My Christmas involved my sister getting into a fight with her girlfriend and one of them punched my 1 year old nephew. I was ready to kill someone over that. And Valentines day? That's the worst holiday ever. I've been single for several years, too, and I know exactly how you feel.
If you need someone to vent to, vent to us. We're here for ya, pal, and a lot of us have been where you are.
I don't think anyone here can fault you for your life and not be a complete hypocrite. I can understand where you're coming from with the whole being-single thing. It's been...a long time since my last relationship. So, it's not so much Valentine's Day as it is Singles Awareness Day.
And if venting at someone who will listen is what you need, then by all means, vent. We've all needed it at some point. I hope you feel better soon, regardless of whether or not the words come with it. When you're ready, we'll be here waiting with open arms.
Don't give up the fight!
Sorry to hear that.
Self centered as we are as human beings we're pretty sensitive to how much attention paid to us...
I can relate to nearly everything you've said. I'm going through much the same thing right now. Have been for months. I'm really smart (not trying to brag, I almost wish I wasn't), athletic, and try to be as friendly as possible. And yet, I'm failing half my classes, I'm lazy, and have no true friends. Plus, as much as I want one, I've never had a girlfriend. But as much as it seems like it, you're not alone. You can hit me up whenever you want to talk, vent, or want help with something (on the site of course). That is one of the biggest things that cheer me up: helping others out. I hope you feel better soon.
Well hopefully this Stephanie woman that you mentioned in Valkyrie will be willing to give romance a go.*wink*