The Horse Voice Stories That Never Were · 1:38am Dec 17th, 2013
As important as it is for an artist to be good at coming up with ideas, it's almost as important to know which ones to abandon. Here are a few Horse Voice stories that almost saw the light of day.
"Audio Log Found in a Jungle"
The Pitch:
The recorded journal of a squad of interdimensional marines, which loses its way and is forced to hunt the local wildlife to survive. After they eat a sapient creature (Fluttershy) by mistake, they find that they themselves are being hunted.
The Problem:
Thematically, it would be like a watered-down version of my first pony story, "The Savage Way." Take that story's ambiguity away, and what's left? Not much, I think.
Besides:
Found audio logs are a cliche of the modern videogame, and the found manuscript is such an old literary chiche, even Edgar Allan Poe parodied them.
"Wild Fire: Part II"
The Pitch:
Fifteen years after the events of "Wild Fire," our heroine is happily living in Equestria with her coltfriend. One evening, she comes home to find him missing, his mandolin laying shattered on the doorstep, and a dead albatross nailed to the door. She must return to The Village to save her stallion... and maybe burn the place down again.
The Problem:
"Wild Fire" didn't make much of an impression, one way or another. I got exactly one new follower from "The Great Purple Unicorn Troll," which is one more than from "Wild Fire". Ouch. Writing a sequel might be fun, but maybe a dozen people would read it.
Besides:
In good conscience, I would have to get MandoPony's permission to not only use his OC, but rename it ("Mando" is no name for a pony). It's too much of a hassle.
"Human Fetish"
The Pitch:
Incredibly, no one seems to have written a story with this title. A down-on-his-luck college student gets prepositioned by a green unicorn, (natch) who wants to do "field research" on his body. He agrees because he's young and needs the money.
The Problem:
Though planned as a deconstruction of man-on-mare clop, this would look too much like an actual clopfic. People who didn't like clop would dismiss it outright, and cloppers would get mad because the sex would be really bad.
Besides:
Have I mentioned I'm a Born-Again Brony? Yeah—a few months ago, I found Celestia and cast Chrysalis out of my life. So I would prefer if there was nothing too closely resembling clop in the Horse Voice bibliography.
Speaking of Chrysalis...
"Praying Mantis"
The Pitch:
A merciless take-down of second-person Chrysalis clop. You know what happens in a mantid's mating ritual, right?
The Problem:
It was too horrible, even for me.
Besides:
I just know someone out there would get off on it, no matter how horrible it was.
"Rhapsody of Fire: A Dark Romantic Saga"
The Pitch:
One of the canon villains cracks open the gates of Tartarus, and its inhabitants pour onto the surface, threatening to take Equestria over. This novel-length work would have something for everyone, but also be love letter to the music that inspired it:
The Problem:
Someone else already did it. It's called "Equestrian Elite: Tartarus Infernum." The central conceit is similar, but has the added bonus of Celestia gathering a team of Equestria's mightiest heroes and kicking a whole lot of ass.
"Aveng—I mean, Equestrian Elite assemble!"
Besides:
Let's be real here—a "Dark Romantic Saga" is a bit too ambitious for a guy who once took six weeks to write a 6,200-word story.
So how about you guys? Let's hear about your stories that never were. Don't be shy—after all, you knew better than to write 'em.
I came extraordinarily close to writing a story based on the Book of Job with Twilight as Job.
i.imgur.com/bOPfLcP.png
The Flipsiders
The Pitch:
Equestria is a coin-shaped world with a hole in the center, through which the sun and moon pass as they are raised each dawn/dusk. A primitive human civilization lives on the far side. A tribesman finds his way through to Equestria. (Lunasolar tunnel? Diamond Dog digs?)
The problem:
Aside from the amazing geographic hook, this would be straight-faced, novel-length HiE — and I've got better things to do with my life.
Besides:
I was never able to think up a compelling plot arc. I generally write longer stories in a discovery fashion — seeing where the characters take me from chapter to chapter — but I have to have some landmarks to aim for, and I couldn't come up with anything that caught my interest.
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I don't even know what to call this
The pitch:
In an effort to generate an unimaginably powerful source of
romantic lovefood, Changelings keep temporarily replacing the Mane Six. They chloroform the pony, drag them offscreen, and step in to replace them for the span of a sentence or two (e.g. Applejack's oh-so-shipteasey line to Rarity @ the end of s3e2) — then throw the original back into place and hope for love to ignite.After their inevitable failure, each special agent gets sent to play Bon-Bon, Ponyville's most dangerous Changeling job. (Hence all the voice changes.)
The problem:
This really wants something other than a prose format.
Besides:
It would be stretching out a single gag probably longer than it needs to run.
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> "Praying Mantis"
> I just know someone out there would get off on it, no matter how horrible it was.
Please do yourself a favor and never google "vore."
I had an idea for a Myst/pony crossover, but I just felt it had to have something like puzzles for it to be Myst, but didn't know how to pull it off. Then someone posted Aitran and I just lost interest. Had a neat premise too, I think.
Also I could see a bait and switch done with human fetish. Starts out as porn, then seemingly turns sinister and dark, only in the end to be a big misunderstanding. Because they're ponies after all.
"Dark" is just too Dark
Pitch:
One of the few friends Twilight had as a child is dead, or is supposed to be dead. He made a horcrux and is now shade that only Twilight can see. If he wants to have any semblance of a normal life back, he'll have to convince Twilight to help follow the bread crumbs left for him by himself while he was still alive and find out who killed him and why.
Problems:
As much as I love the concept, I've never liked the idea of killers and murders in Equestria or her surrounding areas. And writing it as a comedy as I had planned would've been very trying considering the amount of darker themes I wanted to explore without going grimdark.
Besides:
I just haven't been able to dedicate my energy to writing anything.
And I'm horrible and writing comedy.
I've got two that may never see the light of day:
"Morals and Ethanol"
The Pitch:
After the Flimflam Brothers' musical sales pitch, one mare decides something isn't quite right about that machine of theirs. Berry Punch investigates, and the three ponies' conversation tells a great deal about the roles of magic and alcohol in Equestria. Also, Berry demonstrates her ability to ferment blood sugar with a touch.
The Problem:
It's pretty much just talking. And the protagonist has a stance that I can't really embrace, since I can't stand the taste of alcohol. Normally, I can find my way into almost any character's head, but Berry Punch eludes me. The story has stalled for more than a year.
Besides:
I'm definitely going to use that "fermenting touch" thing elsewhere, so this wasn't a total loss.
"Infinite Dissonance"
The Pitch:
Discord, having triumphed in his first escape from his prison, fondly regards possibility space, examining the myriad ways in which he could have won. Being Discord, each of them is equally likely to have occurred, and, indeed, all of them may have happened at the same time. It doesn't really make a difference anymore.
The Problem:
Turns out I don't like writing bad endings. At least, not "eldritch horror removes all hope of sanity from the universe"-level bad endings. A whole compilation of them doesn't really appeal to me.
Besides:
It's not like I'm the only person to think of something along those lines.
I have no stories that never were, for they someday will be! :V
The born again brony thing made me laugh, as did the whole Praying Mantis thing.
The only story I ever have ever really aborted that I spent any real time thinking about (and indeed writing) was a story called Temptation (not the Temptation that I actually wrote). The original Temptation was a story about Rarity drinking a whole bottle of applejack (the alcoholic beverage, mind) and coming onto Applejack pretty strongly, with Applejack getting pretty upset at her, both for drinking an entire bottle herself (the whole mane six were supposed to split it) as well as because Rarity is being an annoying drunk. The story was supposed to end with Rarity being very unhappy as Applejack doesn't take advantage of her intoxication at all and Applejack going downstairs and finding the almost entirely full bottle stuck in the pantry in Twilight's kitchen - Rarity had only spilled a bit of itself on her to smell drunk, and had actually been sober the whole time and merely trying to tempt Applejack into getting friendly.
The problem was that I just couldn't rationalize Rarity actually doing that, because Applejack is way too moral and uptight to take advantage of someone while they're drunk, and Rarity bloody knows it. I considered making it into Rarity actually being drunk... but that strayed a bit close to just being a character reversal of Diamond in the Rough, so I doubt I'm ever going to write the story, as funny as drunk Rarity is.
Hmm, that's quite the list of 'rejected story ideas' that you have there. It's interesting to see the number of ideas a writer comes up with for a story that ultimately never sees the light of day. Thank you for sharing your list, although I regret that I have none to share to you in this matter.
Blood is Magic
The Pitch
More humans in Equestria! Except Equus (the planet's name because I'm not calling it Equestria) is really Earth circa 100 million AD. Humanity woke up from a long sleep once the universal constants got close enough to what we think of as reality to allow for life-as-we-know-it (with some hold outs - Discord) and found ponies in the Classical Era. Fast forward a few thousand years and the Elder Ones (humans) have finally opened their doors to diplomats - Twilight and Co. are sent in to establish proper contact and learn.
The problem(s)
I'm not a physicist. I know of the universal constants as a concept and some of the names of them but how would humanity survive is any of them were changed a single iota? The entire idea was really an exploration of giving humanity some form of magic while not 'over powering' us in relation to the ponies. It was a protest idea - a hissy fit I threw because of an influx of 'humanity is powerless to ponies' and 'humanity HELL YEAH' posts and stories that made it seem there was little middle ground at the time.
Besides:
It would be less about characters - which I've been told is my strong suit - and more a political thriller - which I suck at.
The City in the Desert
The pitch
A wandering pony bucks the laws of the Saddle Arabians and enters one of the deep forbidden zones only to find a wondrous city with statues of strange bipedal creatures. This is told in first person from a Saddle Arabian that is complaining to Celestia about her people - the wanderer died of radiation poisoning (to ruin the surprise ending).
The problem
Well, it was essentially a re-write of a story I made a while ago about the same subject, except entirely human post apolcalypse. I couldn't work in the pony-isms enough for my tastes and, well, I have hope for the short-story some day.
The Last Testament of Twilight Sparkle
The pitch
Straight up Lovecraft-style where humanity is the Migo.
The problem
I'm surprisingly good at Lovecraft but I couldn't find the motivation.
Xenophilia Side Story: Morass
The pitch
Xenophilia but with a war-weary humanity having destroyed the 'fae' or whatever that was kidnapping people stumble on Equestria searching for Subject Zero (Lero - main character of Xenophilia). Political nightmare as pro-human groups lash out at ponies and pony-extremists fight to return Lero to his home. Lero also has to figure out his own feelings about having a 'way home' from his life in Equestria.
The problem
More political fumbling on my end. I'm not very good at subtly. Also, the Xeno-fans would rant about me missing the point. I didn't miss it, I just changed it.
Somehow, it's almost MORE fun seeing what hit the cutting room floor. And, well, you know all my projects
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Hey, that's just like what I'm doing on Millenium, just with less gore
I had way, way too many story ideas I've never even started - I'm too lazy or something, but the fics I've published are the ones that were short enough for me to finish them before losing my enthusiasm. Regardless, here's some of them:
(I don't even remember the title anymore)
The pitch
Photo Finish is found dead aboard the SS Celestia's Grace. The only possible culprit? One (or more) of the Mane Six. Fortunately, Sherlock Holmes (or whoever his pony equivalent is) and his trusted friend just happen to travel by the very same ship, and the captain asks for their help...
The problem
Yeah, I couldn't find any situation in which a member of the Mane Six would conceivably murder somepony without being OOC. And let's face it, stealing something just doesn't gives off the same "murder mystery" feeling (not to mention larceny would probably be OOC, too).
Besides
I think it would've been just cool, writing a murder mystery where we all love and personally know the potential perpetrators - but maybe I was just angry at Agatha Christie. She played the "Whoops, this guy who have been established as the BEST FRIEND of the victim secretly hated him all along because he stepped on his foot thirty years ago or something!" card one too many times.
This Just In
The pitch
When aspirant reporter Breaking News gets reassigned to Ponyville, she thinks she hit the jackpot. After all, there's always something happening there, right? She's quick to realize, however, that Ponyville is just another sleepy, boring country village. Her only chance is to find the reclusive Gabby Gums, to ask for her help - but the locals are strangely reluctant to tell anything about her. Now it's a race against the clock: can our protagonist find (or, if all else fails... create) enough news-worthy events to report about until she meets the mysterious Gabby Gums?
The problem
I liked the idea, but I didn't know what should actually happen in the fic.
Besides
Who'd want to read about OCs?
The Do Effect
The pitch
Daring Do comes to town! She's a real person and she stops by Ponyville en route to her next adventure in the Everfree Forest, and she even lets the Mane Six to accompany her. Ever since I saw her as a recolor of Rainbow Dash, I've been playing with the thought that she's just like our RD not only on the outside, but in the inside as well: brash, boasting, hotheaded, loyal, impatient. It would've been a comedy, where everypony recognize the 'Dashness' in her save for Rainbow herself. Also, in the end it would've been turned out that the artifacts Daring Do keeps finding are actually fake, planted by her proper archaeologist colleagues to keep her away from the university. They're pretty fed up with her annoying behavior.
The problem
There's just not much point in writing this story, I'm afraid.
Besides
The recent episode ruined it anyway.
Shortly after joining the brony community, I tried to write a crossover of MLP and Yu-Gi-Oh! 5D's, in which the Earthbound Immortals had attacked Equestria over one thousand years prior to the show's beginning, then After Luna's return, a rip in spacetime allowed them to return, but the signer dragons (six in total) also landed in Ponyville, forming bonds with the mane six, and it was going to be this really epic tale, but due to a combination of writer's block, my own poor writing skills, and the difficulty finding someone to beta read and/or coauthor the story, It has been collecting dust. However, I did write upwards of fifty pages before giving up on it. Also, I had the spider earthbound immortal possess Luna, ironically about two months BEFORE season 2 aired; kind of a happy accident, really.
Then there was a story I wrote in response to the season 2 opener, which I didn't like at the time, though it has since grown on me, in which the mane six each receive a package with a letter. The letters scold the ponies for the mistakes they made while fighting Discord, and each package actually contains a piece of discord's petrified body, specifically chosen to symbolize their mistakes. For example, Rainbow Dash receives his feathered wing (the significance of that particular choice didn't hit me until months later). It was the kind of story that a toxic nihilist would write, and in hindsight, it came across as the product of a whiny fanboy.
Then there was one that I wrote after spending a significant amount of time watching Doctor Who, in which the tenth doctor's consciousness, upon his regeneration, is ripped from the space-time continuum (leaving the eleventh doctor unaffected and ignorant of what had happened) by Fausticorn and placed in a sort of artificial pony body, basically giving him a second chance at life. He is then dropped in Celestia's throne room, where he explains his situation. Celestia assigns Twilight to help him grow accustomed to his new life as a pony, and he eventually meets Derpy. This story never made it past the concept stage, and admittedly featured a pony ninth doctor, whom was implied to be Celestia and Luna's father.
Another story stemmed from a conversation I had with a friend, following the announcement of Twilight Sparkle becoming an alicorn. The four ponies of the apocalypse descend upon Ponyville, in accordance with an ancient prophesy, and the only ones who are allowed to survive are the four alicorns, each of which is connected with one of the harbingers. Celestia, Luna, Cadance, and Twilight are essentially trapped in that realm where Twilight first became an alicorn and forced to watch as the harbingers rampage through Ponyville, except that one of them, Death, is subtly undermining the efforts of his colleagues, and actually preventing harm from coming to the ponies. Things come to a head when the alicorns realize that the leader of the four, Pestilence, is not one of the prophesized harbingers, and that the prophesy should not have come to pass yet. In the end, the harbingers' true leader, Conquest arrives, beats Pestilence into submission, and orders the others to retreat back to their domain, but warns that they will return. I would have loved to see this one completed, but I just haven't found the time or motivation to work on it.
Then finally, after rewatching the season 2 finale for the third or fourth time and reading the first story arc in the comics, I began writing a textbook style speculatory fic on the biology of changelings, which I had intended to expand into a full diary-style fic, told from Twilight Sparkle's point of view. Admittedly, there was some emphasis on their mating rituals, and one particular detail was based on a rule 34 drawing, but I tried to write it in the style of a biology textbook, so that it technically wouldn't be clop. Someone on fanfiction dot net actually agreed to try to finish this one for me.
If anyone is interested in reading these, I can send you a link to the google docs, as I wouldn't mind seeing at least one of them finished and published.
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I like the second one--it's rather cheeky. I wonder if it wouldn't work as a microfiction consisting of a few paragraphs.
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You could borrow my idea, if you want. Hey, I won't be using it.
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Nobody knows how annoying it is being an alcohol-hater in an alcohol-loving world.
And I'm not being sarcastic; if you tell people this, you get a blank stare.
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Hell, I think that episode ruined a lot of people's Daring Do stories.
Title: N/A. Haven't got a clue as to what would be a good name for a title.
The Pitch: A crossover story featuring a character from the Warcraft universe, Arthas Menethil AKA the Lich King. He would have been reborn as a horse, not a pony, in Equestria and shares the looks of his mounted steed: Invincible. The story would have been focused on his perspective of being in a equine body while dealing his guilt and shame during his time as the Lich King, as a series of events begins to unfolded that has drawn the fallen prince to battle and fight against foes that seems too oddly familiar to him...
The problem: The introduction to this story runs similar to a fanfic, "Rebirth of The Damned", where I plan to have the first scene the Everfree Forest, despite the differences in the overall plot. The possible romance development in the story also mirrors in the same fanfic. I may have to redo the events in the story to give it a more different plot (for lack of a better word) to get me going on this story, or so I say, anyway.
Besides: It would had follow the 'checklist' of a crossover story with the involvement of Ponyville and the Mane 6 crew, hardly original. I have other stories that can be explored while this story is on hiatus, as it's not my main priority and losing interest to solve this problem, although I initially planned to have this as a second story to write on my list.
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Hey, I have a balance humans/ponies idea of my own! (I seem to like taking every available opportunity to tell people about
itmy headcanon.)Title: Ironically, I don't have a title for it. I've just been calling it 'SpaceShipFic' in my head so I have something to refer to it by.
Ironic, because I have some chapter names...
The Pitch: Ponies, IN SPACE! Why are they in space? Well ultimately, it's so they can meet the HUMANS IN SPACE! And then they all end up going to Earth, for some reason.
Unlike ponies--in fact, unlike any known sapient species--humans don't have magic. Instead, they have technology, which they use to harness magic.
Also, friendship literally is magic. Unmanned probes don't work for exploring the universe, because it's impossible to equip them with warp drives, because they don't have magic because they don't have friendship because they don't have crews.
The Problem: I don't have anything resembling a plot. I have got a bunch of events that I've thought of, but they almost all come after meetup with the humans, like Twilight jumping in to cover warp drive duties after the human's technological one malfunctions. The closest thing I have to a 'plot arc' is basically Return of Harmony's boss battle over again on Earth (ie, Discord-class eldritch abomination), except the main 6's main human friend sees it, and he freaks out that they're not defending their own home with all that freaking power.
Plus, it turns out that throwing humans into the mix makes it harder to appreciate the ponies. Humans like to focus on humans. Who knew?
If I figure out a way to make it work, I'd still love to write it, though.
I have way too many abandoned stories to count, so here's just one.
"Fallout Equestria: Downwards Spiral"
THE PITCH:
A fallout equestrian story that crossed over with one or more of my characters. My old stupid self-insert character would befriend a pony named Dried hooves, and they'd do....something.
THE PROBLEM:
I know nothing about fallout, and I don't even use most of my old characters anymore.
BESIDES:
My stories Suck.
I might put more here later.
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[Asking here instead of the more recent comments linking here to keep things organized]
Does that make Celestia God? I can see the logic of it.
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Yeah, basically. The idea wasn't so much "Celestia is God" so much as Celestia, ageless horse Valar angel as she is, knows the ultimate route of this line of questioning. Whereas Job deals more with the sovereignty of God then the nature of Evil, The Book of Twilight (lols) would have been a lot more about the questioning of the essential nature of Things. Is the world good? Is it worth living in? Basically flipping the essential issues of Job around--whereas Sovereignty subordinates theodicy, I would have made the "sovereignty" of Celestia subordinate to Twilight's attempts to piece together a bleak account of evil, both "man-made" and natural.
Mostly because God in Job doesn't have the same character as Celestia, as well as not having the same status. Celestia nuzzles her favorite student happily, but Moses couldn't look at God directly without being protected for fear of basically exploding from the Glory. So I was going to have to alter things.
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Oh wow, I just meant cuz it'd make sense for Twi to do whatever Celestia asked. Abandoned or not, you've clearly thought this through a lot more than me.
3795177 A friend of mine was working through Job in a class with one of my favorite professors, and so we talked about it long into the night. I may have borrowed his notes just for casual funtime reads. Sometimes I regret not going into Christian Studies in undergrad. Other times I remember that they were all spiteful dirty Calvinists and am grateful. And then I regret not being able to argue with them all the time.
Life!