• Published 24th Oct 2011
  • 20,016 Views, 68 Comments

Diamond in the Rough - AbsoluteAnonymous

Applejack gets drunk and Rarity has to help her get home.

  • ...

Diamond in the Rough

The drink was a glacé of iced punch, and tasted like a delicious blend of citrus and fruit flavors. It was completely unlike anything Applejack had ever tasted before, and it was delicious. Although it burned her throat a little on the first sip, she found that a second sip of the cool drink soothed that; and before she knew it she'd drunk the whole thing and was getting another.

Upon leaving the Gala, the six of them had hung out for a while at Pony Joe's for Spike's benefit. After all, he'd only wanted to spend some time together in his hometown, and they couldn't really deny him that. He was just a kid. But as the night went on and Celestia herself decided to retire, Twilight eventually decided that it was time to put him to bed; and then they'd decided to go somewhere a little more grown-up.

Still in their Gala finery, the six of them had found a quiet, cozy little pub to spend the night. Somehow, it had a much more welcoming atmosphere then the ball they'd just abandoned. It wasn't too crowded; small groups of friends sat around every table, talking and laughing and eating and drinking. They themselves had chosen a more private table in the corner, far from the other customers.

Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash were having a contest to see who could eat the most plates of nachos, having apparently already gotten over the disastrous evening. Fluttershy looked haggard, staring off into space and not touching her food, mouth occasionally twitching. The others had silently agreed not to ask her if she was okay, remembering the look on her face when she'd charged into the ballroom earlier. Twilight looked satisfied enough, sitting primly upright and eyes closed in concentration, as if she was mentally composing another letter to her mentor.

As soon as she'd sat down Rarity had ripped off her tiara, sulking, and when they'd ordered their food and drinks, she'd ordered something with a long, exotic name, one of her fancy, hoity toity, city-sophisticate drinks. And on an impulse Applejack had ordered the same.

When the drinks arrived Rarity had looked at her oddly, but Applejack ignored her, opting instead to focus on the cup as she tried to figure out how an earth pony was meant to drink it.

And now here she was ordering yet another round, taking another deep sip of whatever-it-was.

"Applejack, perhaps you should be drinking that in...moderation?" Rarity quietly suggested, casting her a side glance.

At first Applejack couldn't answer. A cold burn numbed her mouth and throat. Her hooves on the table suddenly seemed a long way away from her body, and Rarity's voice seemed strangely far away. She tried to come up with something to say, but her thoughts were getting all tangled.

"Nah, Ah'm fine," she finally responded, with great effort. "Just peachy." She hiccuped.

"Most unladylike." Rarity sniffed, taking another sip of her own drink. "I'll have you know that getting inebriated in public is a sign of loss of control and a surefire way to social ruin."

"Ah reckon I don't really give a damn 'bout any of that."


Twilight had taken out a notebook and quill from somewhere and had begun to take notes on something. Nopony bothered to ask her what she was doing or why she'd had them on her at all; she was utterly lost in her writing. At some point Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie had left the table, and nopony bothered to ask where they'd gone. Fluttershy was joylessly pounding down shot after shot like an old, bitter alcoholic, a glazed look in her eyes as she glowered at the table.

"Well, this night looksh like a busht." Applejack finally slurred with great effort. She felt the room lurch as she stood up. "Ah guesh ah'll jusht be headin' back on home fer now. Shee y'all later."

"Applejack, you cannot be serious." Rarity interrupted. "You can barely stand! How in Equestria are you planning to get all the way out to Sweet Apple Acres on your own?"

"By...by walking?" Applejack said slowly. Words were getting more and more difficult, and the room almost seemed like it was spinning. She took a step forward, but lost her balance and started to pitch forward. Before she could land on her face a rush of unicorn magic caught her and righted her.

"Applejack, as a good friend, I cannot possibly allow you to head outside in this condition. You are not well, and I will escort you back home." Rarity said firmly, stepping away from her seat and taking a place beside Applejack. "Twilight, Fluttershy, I bid you a good night. We shall see you in the morning, I suppose."

Fluttershy grunted an incomprehensible response before taking another shot, and Twilight only nodded.

"Hey," Applejack said suddenly. "Where'sh...where'sh...the other two? The, the...aw, darnit, what's wrong with mah mouth? Ah don't..."

"Come along now," Rarity interrupted primly, dragging Applejack along with her magic. "Before you make an even bigger fool of yourself."


Once they were outside, the cool night air hit Applejack like a slap in the face, and she stumbled forward in a daze, swaying. The air was crisp and clean, and the sky was clear, leaving nothing to mask the lovely silver moon or countless glittering stars.

"Lookit that!" She suddenly shouted, raising her head to look at the sky. "It's jis like Twi's dress, all...all shparkling. Oh, hey! Heh, heh...it'sh like...it'sh like Twilight Shparkle! Her name! I git it!"

"Applejack, you're embarrassing me." Rarity said curtly,

Applejack turned her head and blinked into a pair of very wide, very frowning blue eyes.

She hiccupped, then made a profound discovery.

"Ah'm drunk," she announced.

Rarity sighed, and began to magically push her forward again. "I can tell," she muttered.

Sweet Apple Acres was a long way out of town, meaning that it would be a long, arduous walk with the drunken Applejack, who was getting more and more on Rarity's nerves with every passing moment.

Applejack was already frustratingly unconcerned with what others thought of her. Even when sober, she was far too open and loud about what she did, never seeming to care whether anypony else heard her. This was the complete opposite of fastidious Rarity, who spent nearly every waking second striving to make the best impression possible to everypony around.

Drunk Applejack was far, far worse. Normally she just didn't seem to be really bothered about what she did in public, but right now it seemed like she was actively going out of her way to call as much attention to herself as possible. Rarity, at least, knew how to regulate her behaviour, although admittedly, she could already feel a headache setting in from the drinks she'd taken earlier.

She was only half-listening to Applejack's ramblings, trying to ignore the way she'd slung a hoof around Rarity's neck as she led her home. Or the way she kept inexplicably nuzzling up against her.

"Say..." Applejack suddenly drawled, pulling back.

"What are you doing?" Rarity asked, irritated. Although Applejack had stopped, she kept walking, expecting her to follow. "Come on, I can see your barn just over that hill."

"Nuh-uh. No way. Ah'm not budging another step until you tell me something."

"Oh, for...what? What do you want?"

"That prince o' yers...did...did you two dance together?"

The question came completely out of nowhere, and Rarity did a double take, startled. Applejack stood behind her alone on the road, bathed in moonlight, a stoic expression on her face even as she swayed slightly. She looked so ridiculously serious, despite the thick stench of alcohol surrounding her, that Rarity almost wanted to laugh.

She laughed softly, and approached Applejack, trying to entice her forward again. "Oh, come now, Applejack, what does that have to do with anything?"

"Did he kiss you?"

Rarity froze. Applejack glared.

"Applejack, really -"

"Ah told you. Til you answer me, Ah. Ain't. Budgin'."

The two of them stood face to face on the winding dirt road back to Sweet Apple Acres, both of them now bathed in Luna's soft light.

"No." Rarity finally answered. "No, we did not. He was the least charming prince I had ever met. Very ungentlemanly. Don't you remember when we stopped by your stand? He didn't even offer to pay."

Applejack blinked. "Oh. Yeah. Ah forgot about that part."

"It was very noble of you to give us the fritters for free, though. But no. We didn't dance or kiss, and if I never see him again it will be too soon. Now, will you just follow me? I can see your house - "

"Didya dance at all?"

Applejack's comically serious expression was now replaced with one of the deepest concern, and again, Rarity didn't know how to answer.

"Well...I suppose not."

"That's too bad. Ah know you really wanted to. To dance with yer prince and all."

"Well, I suppose I'll have to wait until next year." Rarity answered lightly. "Now, if we can just -"

"You don't have to wait."

"Excuse me?"

"Ah'll dance with you."

The night was utterly silent except for the soft rushing of the leaves in the gentle night wind and the occasional chirp of a cricket

"Applejack," Rarity said carefully. She had to be delicate, she knew that much, even though she'd never exactly been in a situation like this before. "That's a very kind offer, but I think I'm fine for tonight. Why don't we just -"

"Ain't Ah good enough fer you?" Applejack interrupted yet again.

It looked like Rarity wasn't going to be allowed to finish any sentences tonight.

"Ah know that Ah ain't no handsome stallion, or even a sophisticated city pony, and that Ah'm just a simple ol' country bumpkin, but...but..." Applejack continued earnestly, even as she was tripping over her own words.

Her expression was one of such wide-eyed innocence that Rarity almost felt her heart stop, until Applejack suddenly scowled, kicked the ground, and shouted, "Aw, confound it, Ah don't remember what Ah was gonna say!"

"Applejack, maybe you should just go home and get a good night's sleep. You'll probably have a terrible hangover tomorrow, and it will be best if you get in bed right away."

"Ah ain't that drunk."

"Well, you're obviously not that sober, either." Rarity snapped.

Another silence fell over the two of them. This time, though, Rarity could see the hurt reflected in Applejack's eyes.

"So ya think Ah don't mean it? You sure know how to make a pony feel like nothin', Rare."

"Applejack, I didn't mean...I'm not trying to be rude. It's just that it's very late and you had a lot to drink, and I don't want you to say things you'll regret."

"Ah'm the Element of Honesty, Rare, in case you forgot, and Ah never say nothin' Ah don't mean one-hundred percent."

Imagine how scandalous this would be if anypony was listening to this, Rarity thought briefly. Then she was suddenly ashamed, struck by guilt. Applejack, drunk or not, wouldn't care either way whether anypony heard what she was saying, so why should Rarity?

Lost in thought, Rarity didn't even notice Applejack approach her until she felt her settle in to lean against her.

She felt warm. To Rarity's surprise, Applejack seemed to fit perfectly, as if they were both molded for the express purpose of leaning against one another.

Her memory flashed to the sleepover at Twilight's during the storm. Telling ghost stories and clinging to each other in fear. Even then, in the midst of an argument and in the heat of the moment, Rarity had found herself thinking that holding Applejack felt strangely...right.

"Ah know you think this is just the drink talking," Applejack slurred softly into her ear. "But Ah like you a lot, Rare. Ah don't mind if you think Ah'm gonna ferget about this tomorrow, because Ah know Ah won't."

The unicorn's heart was pounding.


When she had first met Applejack, her first thought had been, she could be beautiful.

Applejack, for all her roughness, had the potential to be quite the lady if she wanted to do so. Her face was simple and pretty, eyes wide and laughing and the exact same shade of green as the orchards in summer, build strong and supple. If she just cleaned herself up a bit, maybe did something with the soft golden mane, she could easily pass for a sophisticated Manehattenite. And yet she chose not to, for the simple reason that she had no interest in pretending to be something she wasn't. She was like a diamond in the rough; if polished, she could truly dazzle. And yet she seemed to have no desire to leave that rough.

This caused Rarity no end of irritation, simply because Rarity craved beauty and longed for perfection in all thing and couldn't understand why somepony wouldn't be the same way. She was always trying to get Applejack to dress up a little, or maybe comb that fine yellow hair, or maybe just try the slightest bit of makeup to highlight her fine bone structure, but Applejack rejected every suggestion. After all, Applejack was nothing if not honest about who she truly was. Why try and dress up the country pony?

But over time Rarity had gotten over it and grown to accept Applejack's attitude, even as it frustrated her, and finally began to appreciate the way she managed to shine, even without the polish Rarity had envisioned for her.

Applejack was a friend, a very, very dear friend. An exasperating one that she was constantly arguing with, but a friend nontheless. And she was drunk. It was Rarity's responsibility to get her home, because that was what a good friend did. It would be wrong to take advantage of her in a situation like this, when Applejack was in a vulnerable position.

But even though her head recognized how wrong it was, her heart seemed to disagree. The drinks from earlier fueled her courage and vanquished any doubts or second thoughts she might have had, and suddenly they were pressed up against each other, and she was tasting Applejack; a wonderful blend of cinammon and apples and warmth, just the way Rarity had always imagined she'd taste, ever since the sleepover, ever since they'd first held each other and shared a bed and Rarity had first begun to experience those idle daydreams.

When they finally pulled away, they were both panting. Applejack was grinning that lazy, crooked grin, looking satisfied. In contrast, Rarity's eyes were wide with shock from what she'd just done.

I can't believe I just...

"Ah'm ready to go home now." Applejack whispered, leaning close to Rarity's ear. She could feel Applejack smiling while she spoke, breath warm on her neck. "D'you wanna come with me?"

Rarity quickly stepped back, and Applejack almost fell over until Rarity caught her with her magic.

"What in the hay -?" She angrily demanded. "What did you do that for?"

"I won't do this with you right now, because you are not in a right state of mind and that would be exceedingly wrong of me." Rarity began primly, smoothing out her now-considerably rumpled dress with her hooves. "But..." she continued, voice halting slightly. "If...if you still feel the same way tomorrow...and it wasn't just the drink speaking...then...perhaps...we can try. We can try being an...us."

It took a moment for her words to sink in, but when they did, Applejack grinned.

"Ah guess Ah'll see you tomorrow, then, Rare."

"Perhaps. If you haven't forgotten this completely."

"Ah bet you Ah won't."

"I doubt that. But we'll see. Until then, we could've been at Sweet Apple Acres ages ago, so let's go."

They walked side by side in silence for a little while, hooves crunching the ground as the trotted along. Rarity held herself with as much dignity as she could muster, even as her heart was still racing from the kiss, but Applejack seemed considerably more easy now, grinning foolishly to herself and giggling in a silly, drunken way, still swaying even now.

When they finally reached the main house, Applejack was poised to go inside before turning to Rarity.

"Help me inside?" She asked with what was presumably her best imitation of a coy smile.

"Applejack, honestly!" Rarity scolded. "I just..."

"We don't...we don't have to do nothin'. Ah jis don't wanna be alone yet, and everypony else is probably asleep."

Rarity looked away, fidgeting with her dress. As beautiful as it was, it was really starting to get on her nerves. It was making it far too difficult to walk and move.

"I suppose," she finally answered, not meeting Applejack's eyes.

With another lazy grin, Applejack opened the door for Rarity even though the unicorn could've just held it open with her magic, nodding her head slightly in a mock bow.

Very elegant, Rarity thought with a small smile in response, stepping through the entrance; and Applejack followed, kicking the door shut behind her.


Applejack woke up feeling terrible, in body and spirit. Her mouth tasted strange, dry and thick somehow, and her head was pounding, as if somepony was going at it with a hammer. Her entire body ached, even her eyes. It was a struggle just to sit up.

The lights were too bright, and she flinched when she opened her eyes. It only made her headache worse.

When her vision cleared, she noticed a very familiar-looking white unicorn curled up on the sofa, fast asleep.

What in tarnation...

Comments ( 68 )

Wow! Great job! :pinkiegasp: this is definately cute and deep too! By far a perfect 5! :pinkiesmile:

Well written, although it feels somewhat unfinished.

The ending was perfect. :rainbowlaugh:

This is great.

As someone said above, cute and deep.

Wow, I wish I was as prolific as you, haha. :derpyderp1:

Anyway, I rather enjoyed this one! Well-written, with a very plausible scenario for these two to end up together; all of it tying in well to canon interactions between the characters.

Also, it was absolutely adorable and made me squee. A lot. So there's that.

Ergo, all my stars are belong to you.

It was well done.. I feel like there could have been a little more though. But then again, I just want moar.

this story was really good hope their's more

I swear, if this is a one-shot, I will pull a Derpy and DROP AN ANVIL ON YOU :derpyderp1:
A so adorable and good-spirited story needs more!
Just ask those two:
:ajsleepy: Please!
:raritycry: YEEEEEES!


Only nine comments? Unacceptable. It's a crime against fabulosity, or something. :flutterrage:

I can't really call myself a fan of Applejack shipping, though fics like this are slowly changing my mind. This was very good. Um...Aurora pretty much said everything else I would've, though. The twist ending was pretty funny. Poor Applejack...as if the hangover wasn't enough, now she has to deal with the mother of all awkward conversations.

#11 · Jan 5th, 2012 · · ·

Please continue.

It was a very good fic, but as said above it feels incomplete :ajbemused:

This can't be IT! There has to be moar, please!

Love it, tho I would love for it to continue. :ajsmug:


It's great well actually its awesome but just 1 thing ehem,
*incites crowd * :flutterrage: MOAR!!!!!!!!!! um please though if you want.:fluttershysad:. heh heh :twilightblush:

This is probably my favorite RariJack story, and I have been meaning to review it forever and am ashamed at how long it's taken me. Mea culpa.

First, given you share my affection for RainbowPie, I'm just going to assume that Pinkie and Rainbow's disappearance at the beginning of the story is due to the fact that they absented themselves so they could have drunk sloppy make-outs. I approve of this, of course.

Second, I found your depiction of Fluttershy terribly funny, in a dark humor sort of way. Of course, lots of parts in this story were funny, such as:

She hiccupped, then made a profound discovery.

"Ah'm drunk," she announced.

Oh, Applejack.

Relatedly, I love how your drunk Applejack is by turns funny and heart-breaking. In particular, the line "Ah'll dance with you" was just simple and perfect. And it felt right, to me, that this was how Applejack was going about things. Simple, honest, direct.

And this struck me as perfect for Rarity: When she had first met Applejack, her first thought had been, she could be beautiful. I think it showcases Rarity's vanity and her generosity, which always exist in a constant state of tension, very well.

I do think this section ...

But over time Rarity had gotten over it and grown to accept Applejack's attitute, even as it frustrated her, and finally began to appreciate the way she managed to shine, even without the polish Rarity had envisioned for her.

... could have benefited from a bit of expansion. Just a few brief examples of how this process worked, of how Rarity now appreciates Applejack, would have been nice. But that's a minor complaint.


A sweet and simple RariJack story, nothing to be ashamed of. I like it, even though the ending makes it a bit sad. My only gripe would be them walking all the way back from Canterlot to Sweet Apple Acres, but that's a minor detail.

And you managed to sneak in another Rainbow/Pinkie shipping, if I'm not mistaken :raritywink:

If it helps, I wasn't picturing the pub they were in as being in Canterlot. At the time, I was kind of imagining them going back to Ponyville after Celestia left and only heading to the bar when Spike was in bed. And you have absolutely no evidence that any sort of Rainbow Pie shenanigans went down at all! Perhaps they both simply had to use the washroom at the same time. *shifty eyes*

I liked it, Old or not it's still good... I am wondering how Rarity explained the previous night to Applejack, but it's nice to have some mystery sometimes

Story is complete?
This needs more chapters, an epilogue, a sequel, SOMETHING! PLEASE!
All I want to know is how the most awkward of all of the conversations within this universe went. That, and how much of that night Applejack remembers.

I read this story on Fanfiction.net and loved it there too. Please write more of this pairing. We need it.

That. Was. Fabulous! :raritystarry:
I loved that. :heart:

I really liked the ending. Kind of inception-y.. Did Applejack remember or not?? :o

This was hilarious and adorable and generally extremely entertaining. And the ending made me swear very loudly.

Was the title inspired by friendship is witchcraft? or visa versa?

Neither. I don't watch Friendship is Witchcraft. The term "diamond in the rough" is a fairly common proverb.

What is with this site and having awesome portrayals of Rarity? Seriously. I actually do not like her at all in the show, but give her to you, or Donny's Boy, and suddenly she goes up a whole four places in Best Pony rankings. Admittedly, that still leaves her about four whole places from bottom, but still.

Right off the bat, I think you nailed the balance between awkward and touching for AJ's drunkenness. I especially like :
'She hiccupped, then made a profound discovery.

"Ah'm drunk," she announced.'
I don't know what it is, but for some reason the word profound just sells that to me in a way that any other word would not. I also like the implication that AJ has, indeed, forgotten completely by the time she wakes up. The ensuing snit doesn't even need to be written to be present.

That said, I didn't get the same degree of 'damn you for being so good!' that I got from Where You Can't Follow. But this was still very enjoyable indeed. :twilightsmile:

Yay! :yay: Rarijack! or... Applarity? :rainbowhuh: No, no... definitely Rarijack... :facehoof:

In some ways, I think you chose the perfect place to end it. A part of me thought really wants to see whether the previous night comes crashing back to Applejack, or if she forgets it, what Rarity's reaction is.
Unintentionally, Rarity's characterization from reading this actually fleshes out two cups of tea a little better. Even with how much you wrote between the two, and their different love interests in each fic, it feels like you wrote the same Rarity in each story.

you probly hate hearing this but...das it?!!?

Awwww, that ending! I sure hope AJ didn't forget! :P

Lovely, cute, and brilliantly written. You really nailed the characters and the motivation behind this ship (I completely agree that Rarity would admire Applejack in that way).

And as many have said, this line just nailed it;

"She hiccupped, then made a profound discovery.

"Ah'm drunk," she announced."


noo :o dont end it like that :pinkiegasp:

I can't believe I missed this, im shocked at myself for not reading this yet. General consensus? Not bad, not bad at all.

I thought I was a very good take on rarity first of all. "She could be beautiful" is the most rarity thing I’ve ever read. It speaks volumes about, well you explained it perfectly yourself in the story but the impression is reciprocated. If I saw one flaw in the story it was how kind of vague rarity's attraction to AJ’s origin is. It’s kind of mentioned a bit but there’s no meat to it at all I felt. But then again if you did expand on it then we'd just have home struck again but with rarity and a funnier ending. Not that that would be a bad thing by any means...

Back to the positive: my absolute favourite part about this whole story is drunk AJ. The reason being apart from being awesome and funny and adorable it was also relatable, at least for me. Drunk AJ is basically drunk me. That kind of wobbly but stone-faced sincerity that AJ extruded when she asked about blueblood is exactly the kind of thing I HAVE done when intoxicated, as well as the bombastic social disregard and that one blatant realisation. "I’m drunk" is the exact same thing I’ve said in the exact same situation. I got it completely because I knew that for her, as it was for me, it seems like the greatest revelation of all at that given time. It was like watching a female, pony version of me with a southern accent. It’s also overall the best portrayal of a drunken character I’ve ever seen ever. Other attempts elsewhere are cliché or stereotypical. It was really nice to see a character act real but that’s kind of what you do best anyway.

Also the concept that they walked all the way back from Canterlot kind of struck me as odd. I know you fixed that in a comment somewhere but in the actual story you never mention where the pub is actually located, EVER! So it's very clear why some people assumed they stayed in Canterlot to go drinking. Plus why would you go all the way back to Ponyville just to go to the bar. Canterlot is a city. Ponyville is a village or maybe a large town. Either way odds are that Canterlot would have better or at least closer drinking establishments.

Conclusion: this is an AA story so no one is going to argue how fucking brilliant it is. AA is the most consistently good writer I’ve ever seen, even outside of fanfiction so it goes without saying that this is damn good. That being said, however, this one would rank lower than most compared to other stuff you've done. There is a nascent feeling of MOAR but not in the sense of a sequel but only in wanting to know about rarity's feeling as I’ve already said. This is a solid 9/10 and you should be very proud little miss.

Absolutely any and all flaws in this fic can be chalked up to the fact that it was like the third story I've ever written ever. So naturally it's not THAT great. :scootangel:

is that a deflection of criticism i hear there AA? dear dear have you forgotten that one blog post of yours so soon?

if thats your answer then this should be brilliant(not that I'm saying it's not). i went and read your first story written. thought it was glorious even though i tried to prepare myself for the teething pains that come with writing your first story. turned out i didn't need too.

btw never think for a second that i thought this was an actually poorly written story or bad in any sense. the worst story you make will likely be better then 90% of the content on this site judging from the quality you've created thus far. i was basically nit-picking. a proper critic doesn't give a 100% good review which is why i don't plan on "critiquing" most of your other stuff any time soon.

P.S. i tried being as composed and un-gushy in the above paragraphs as i could; i don't think i managed it because AA ACTUALLY REPLIED TO SOMETHING I SAID! i don't mean to sound weird or anything but i might as well confess now. your writing(specifically home grown) is basically the main reason I'm a Brony right now. first mlp fan fiction i ever tried was home grown and i was truly impressed. rarijack is basically the only ship i can call an OTP of mine. thank you and never change.

sorry for all the mushy star-struck business but in all professionalism and honesty you are the most impressive author i've ever seen, the only person who comes close to having as much respect as i have for you is Derek landy, and varanus. the first being a successful novelist and the second being another fanfic writer on this site. a tip of the hat to you m'lady :moustache:

You had me from "It looked like Rarity wasn't going to be allowed to finish any sentences tonight."

The ending makes me imagine a drunk AJ trying to insist that Rarity take the bed and she take the couch. They'd argue back and forth until Rarity finally said she'd take the bed, having given up on actually leaving by that point. As soon as AJ fell asleep, Rarity would use magic to lift AJ and tuck her into bed properly before curling up on the couch.

That is an excellent ending. I shall accept it as canon, even if I never write it.

this is fantastic<3 i really wish there was more to this story.

I can imagine this with a comedic ending. Where she sees rarity sleeping on the couch and she whispers her name in her sleep. Applejack gets mad at herslef and yells for her brother, "Gosh dangit, Big Mac i did it again."

I don`t think they did but....

i1.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/263/914/ede.jpg I just had too. SORREH :rainbowlaugh:

Great read, as always. There was something, however... Let me skim the story over...

"No." Rarity finally answered. "No, we did not. He was the least charming prince I had ever met.

Very ungentle




Too much of Lyra influence, perhaps? dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Lyra_dealwithit.png

I know I already reviewed on Fanfiction (I'm xTheCrazyDancingPersonx?) but this deserves another :pinkiehappy: So much fluff, cuteness and hilarity! :rainbowlaugh: Must. Love. Drunk. Applejack.
Plus, on Fanfiction, I couldn't give you these.... :moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache:
:twilightsheepish: Yes, it's the same person giving you two reviews. Weird, eh?
Whatever! :derpytongue2:
Just take this... :scootangel: And be on your way.

Loved it, except the conclusion seemed....well not like a conclusion at all. This doesn't come off at all as a story that's finished. Drawing the conclusion that they would end up as a couple after reading this, would just be stretching the wishful thinking a bit. They could just as easily never speak of this again. It'd be nice if there was more. Perhaps some drama stemming from indecision on Rarity's part, uncertainty about the whole thing and worry of what others might think. I like shortfics....but what I see is an introduction here rather than a complete story. And what of Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie? One mention of them slipping away together and not a further thing said about it, when that could have been developed into a peripheral pairing!

But overall I was thoroughly fascinated by this story, and I think the portrayal of Applejack and Rarity, as well as the set-up for their possible relationship upgrade, was nearly flawless. I just think this story needs to continue.

man i re-read this can't stop loving it~ :twilightblush:


This was a good story because rarijack is always nice but that conclusion, or better yet lack thereof , is killing me. But even if I'm left to my own devices about what happens next its still a fun story. great job

Ah, the insistence of Applejack that she would remember, followed by the ending, made me laugh.

Poor Rarity. :facehoof:

While I liked the story and I was really digging the premise, the ending was a bit too abrupt for my taste. I suppose it accomplished the goal of making me want to know what happened next... But I'd rather have that itch scratched than just leave it hangin'. Good job, but I wish that you'd written more. Maybe a little epilogue with a teensy bit of resolution.


This was way cuter than a story about drunk pony makeouts has any right to be. But... dat ending!


This story?

It's best story.

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