I'm Gonna Be A Little Bit Overdramatic One More Time And Then I Swear To God I'm Done - Part 1 · 6:26am Aug 7th, 2013
Okay.
So.
Let's talk about a few things.
First of all, I'm an idiot, but I'll get to that later. Second of all, I'm an idiot for a completely different reason, and I'll get to that later as well but before the first thing. Third of all, Bronycon took place in Baltimore last weekend, and thanks to free admission through the Equestria Daily pre-reader panel and a spot reserved for me on CouchCrusader's hotel room floor, this year I was able to go. There are many ways I could express and elaborate upon my feelings about the last few days, but I believe the most succinct summation comes from the mouth of one Pamela Poovey:
Ball peen hammers wish they could be this blunt.
In the interest of efficiency (read as: because I'm lazy), anyone who's interested in my full Horsecon itinerary should just check out CouchCrusader's post-con writeup on EqD, mainly because a) I basically did everything he did at the exact same time (Couch and Aqua: putting the "bro" in "Bronycon" since like a week ago give or take a day), and b) he has photographic evidence that I actually was wearing a red tanktop and knocking back iceless half-and-half rum and cokes the night before the con started.
But in light of how many new bonds I've now forged with my fellow FIMFic fanatics (read as: because everyone else is doing it), I'm going to run through my personal highlights of what went on during the con. They are, in whatever order I remember them first:
• Crashing the clopfic panel with ABagOVicodin, JohnPerry, Present Perfect, and a few others who trickled in. Because the post-con afterglow hasn't gone away yet and I don't want to be an asshole, I won't name any names here or specify exactly what I spent pretty much the entire thing muttering to Vicodin, but I will say two things here. To the one panelist whose facial expressions made me laugh harder than I do at most Will Ferrell movies: you know who you are. And to the guy three rows ahead of me taking copious notes the entire time: 10/10, dude. You've definitely got your priorities straight.
• The afore-hinted-at first night in Baltimore, in which two bottles of rum were purchased and subsequently demolished. The pain of a hangover is temporary, but the phase of intoxication in which horse words and Pacific Rim crossovers become the coolest things ever is also temporary but comes with the benefit of being fucking amazing.
Somewhere between rationality and whatever lights and colors are flashing in a toddler's brain after breakfast, there lies a small window on the intelligence spectrum called "college-aged rugger". It's a fun place.
• The guy at the "Fanfiction Do's And Don't's" panel who freaked out when he saw JohnPerry, then freaked out when he saw Couch, then freaked out when he saw Capn_Chryssalid, then looked at me and said, and I quote: "Uh... I don't know you." Couch's writeup says his name was Shellsh0cker, so if he happens to be here reading this: genuinely no hard feelings. I went into the con expecting absolutely nobody to recognize me, so having that scenario actually play out exactly how I figured it would was kind of hilarious. In any case, the panelists ended up giving me a shout-out for Harmony being a bitchin' sweet crossover done right, so everything worked out eventually.
What you call "an appalling lack of ponybro swag", I call "camouflage for when I had to walk half a mile through inner Baltimore after dark to pick up some of the best crappy pizza I've ever had". You give and you get.
• Just sharing a room with Couch, Benman, Alexstrazsa, Cupcakes, and (briefly, at least) Present Perfect. You guys were all crazy-awesome, as in both of those things, usually simultaneously. I'm also going to extend that same descriptor to what I'm sure won't be a comprehensive list of other folks, which includes Whiteout, ABagOVicodin, Pegasus Rescue Brigade, JohnPerry, RTStephens, Airstream, Noble Cause, SleeplessBrony, Wanderer D, Obselescence, Golden Vision, kits, Sunchaser, Acesential, Skipsy [NSFW, just so's you know], The Descendant, Jake The Army Guy, the mod of Ask Drunk Celestia, Xyro from EqD, Pav Feira, RazedRainbow, and a whole bunch of other people whose names are escaping me because everything I did and everybody I met is blurring together and I don't have nametags constantly dangling in front of me anymore.
Featured in this image: a bunch of the people mentioned above, empty shot glasses, drawings of horse butts.
• Running into Pen Stroke in a crosswalk and having him not recognize me either, despite the fact that he's been following me since before Harmony. No hard feelings there either, because that was funny too and I totally can't remember why he's following me either.
• Cards Against Humanity in Chryssalid's room Sunday night while six Budweisers deep on the night. For the record, when Couch is talking about the player who created a scenario in which Sean Penn brought Equestria Girls to the people of Haiti, he's talking about me. It'll be years before I get a combination that beautiful again.
• Dinner at some unpronounceable Irish pub (Tir Na Nog?) with pretty good potatoes, amazing crab cakes, and 33 fanfic writers all shoved into three tables.
I looked in the dictionary under "suave motherfuckers", and there was a picture of the cast of Ocean's Eleven. I guess we kind of looked like that too.
• And finally, the fact that Couch and I were the ones who actually explained to Lauren Echo (you know, the singer of the original MLP jingle who popped up out of nowhere at the closing ceremonies) what the deal with bronies and FiM was. As many others have said, we were at Luna Del Sea or someplace for dinner and she just walked up and asked us to explain what the fuck was going on (her words, not mine; as she told us, her first response to her mother when she heard about the con was, "Are you fucking kidding me?"). She seemed really intrigued by the whole thing at the time, and it seems she proved that by sticking to her word and showing up at the con. Cool shit.
And that's about it for my personal story of the con, so now I suppose you're wondering about those two reasons why I'm an idiot. Well, turns out when I said "later", I actually meant "tomorrow", because right now it's 2:30 in the morning and I have to get up at 9 AM for day 2 of temp janitorial work at my dad's office. Whatever puts cases in my mini-fridge next semester, y'know. I promise everything I'm going to say is good, and actually something I've been meaning to say for a couple weeks, but I'm fucking cross-eyed after hunting for all those links up there, and more typing isn't going to help that any.
In other words, for once this isn't actually all I have to say about that. Expect Part 2 of this whole deal within 24 hours-ish.
It was good meeting you as well, and that writing after dark panel remains the unintentionally funniest thing I saw all weekend.
I am so jelly, that the very fabric of reality itself is wibbly wobbly.
I'm glad that you had a safe trip home, Akwa. See ya next year!
Wonderful meeting you and hanging out on the last day! I had tons of fun, more than I've had in a while.
Okay now I definitely have to get my con report up. :B Funny how a lot of these are kind of the exact same thing it's like we were all hanging out at the same place all weekend :V
I totes saw you in Quills & Sofas... Sorta wanted to point at you and yell "blah blah blah update harmony," but you were talking to a bunch of other people so I didn't.
Also, man, I don't think you need camouflage to walk through inner Baltimore. I'm pretty sure any potential muggers or whatever would look at you and be like "oh nah better not go for that guy he'll prolly whoop my ass." Because you look like someone who would whoop ass in a mugging situation.
Also! Unrelated! Web of Hope! If you read this! You totally went to that dinner! Did you not! I see you sitting there on the floor! I think!
What Present said. I think it's awesome looking at how 30 other writers saw pretty much the same thing. I've always kind of envied musicians and how they always get to walk around cons as a posse, too, so hanging out with everyone this weekend was a dream come true.
In all seriousness, finally getting to shake your hand in real life and realizing you were even more of a bro than I could possibly imagine was one of the best things ever. Now get reading again, update Harmony, and finish that other secret project I'm only mentioning to make everyone jealous of our completely professional relationship.
Wait which one is you in the camouflage picture. I must know your face, Aqua. I mussssst.
1269926 Disregarding the gif at the top, Aqua's in each of the pictures posted here.