Storytime With Rust · 4:50pm Jul 30th, 2013
"Oh, boy! What are you going to tell us today, Mister Rust?"
Billy... who let you out of the basement?
HTE TLAE OF LTITLE JSAON BUONRE
rated "R" for excessive Rust
>be 13-year-old Rust
>beta as all hell, puberty has not yet granted massive wang
>shit day at school
>feelsbadman.jpg
>have like 3 friends, total bros
>i'd put them before hos
>they all had shit day too
>we bum over to my place
>little brother is there
>being angry little douches, we need to vent our niggardly angst
>we look at eachother and WE KNOW
>little brother activates super kenyan nigger mode, tries to run away like the french
>is more beta than us, we catch him
>face down, ass up
>"SAY YOU LIKE EATING RED CARPET!"
>"I-I like eat-ting r-red caa-aa-aarpet!"
>break out the duck tape
>montyburns.gif
>tie his ass up to a clothesline pole. like, we fucking immobilized this kid
>high fives all around
>go inside to play some vidya, feel alpha as fuck
>totally forget little bro outside tied to a pole
>hot-ass day out
>15 min later
>OHSHIT.jpg
>we all run outside
>we arrive just in time to see the little bastard running off the lawn, still tied-up from the waist up
>his legs are free because he took off his pants
>he took off his pants while being completely immobilized
>he took off his fucking pants
>ain't got time for this chickenshit bullshit
>we're just standing there, jaws on the floor, everybody do the dinosaur
>little bro sprints off down the street without his pants, completely duck-taped from neck to stomach
>he screams, "I'm Jason Bourne, bitches! You can't catch me! I'm JASON-FUCKING-BOURNE!"
And that was the day I stopped being a such a cunt to my bro. Stop being cunts, people. Nobody likes cunts...
...DIFFERENT KIND OF CUNT YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN
images.wikia.com/vampirediaries/images/1/11/If_you_know_what_I_mean_.png
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indeedencrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSfAPEXdzJkp8D65mPHJdb8dq7vAbcf4xWel3dT_l56b5Ek9A_xTw
Well, that was weird.
This is my new favorite blog post.
MY sides are in orbit
What is this even
1249316
Quite.
i2.kym-cdn.com/profiles/icons/big/000/134/611/Derpy%20Gentlemare.gif
Also, needs moar Billly.
I have no idea what I just read.
... I highly approve.
I've had worse done to me by my big sister. I can never look at pliers the same way again.
... Wat.
i.imgur.com/lrY5ZFU.gif
>image related
Ah, I was starting to miss the rustiness.
One of the best stories on Fimfiction right now. Invigorating plot, meaningful moral, and some outstanding character development as well.
I give it a
i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/7341692416/hA9626AA8/
Out of ten.
1249316
i.imgur.com/1nGIiT0.gif
Rust, this is the second new spleen that you owe me, and you never even replaced the first.
...
Should I be dead?
OH BOY, STORY TIME :D
also
>13 year old Rust
you will achieve massive wang soon, young one.
Everybody do the Dinosaur!
media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lpdjmy1SHZ1qfwnh0.gif
I wish I could upvote blog posts.
Welp post plus comments made my day now to go jump off a briged and live to see another post LOL.
I fear the male creature with lacking their lower body cover, as the frontal tail swinging about really makes me feel uneasy....
Why is always that our little siblings have to go streaking at least once in their lives? It confounds me so.
i1299.photobucket.com/albums/ag79/justuslotter/Thefuckdidijustreaddilbert_zpsb82e0a16.png
great, I'm pretty sure I've pulled something from laughing so hard. Well done.
Oh yeah! Will you be at Bronycon?
...Your little bro sounds like a fuckin badass.
Life never gets boring with you around, does it?
1249350>>1249468>>1249627
This is what I do in my spare time when not slamming muff and/or writing fanfiction.
1249485
I'm the same way with turkey basters.
1249558
Rustiness - adj: A colorful description of an item, action, or person, usually pertaining to excessive amounts of violence, sophomoric humor, perversion, and chest hair.
Example: "Yo bro, you hear about that guy who rode an exploding dynamite-shark into a volcano?"
"Dude, that shit was totes mcgotes cray-cray. Super rusty man, fo real."
1249849>>1249967
MY SELF ESTEEM IS NINE THROBBING INCHES LONG
1250249
Afraid not, my good chum. I lacked the sufficient logistics for such an endeavor, nor did I possess the proper vehicle by which to traverse the distance. I apologize for my absence, though, and hope that I might attend a subsequent event.
>MFW this fucking post.
fbcdn-sphotos-b-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/999826_157949394397405_1677117711_n.jpg
1250348
When I grow up I want a wang-to-chest-hair ratio like yours.
1250348
I thought you practiced wrestling down ussuri brown bears in your spare time?
Frickin all the metal rusts here in Hawaii. Have I been blessed or dammed buy the rust?
1250348 bigger than mine
i feel so sad now
Thanks Rust, this really made my night
Your brother is fucking awesome
1251325
Shhh dont be sad sweetie it's the motion of the ocean not the size of the prize
1254077 that actually did make me feel better because it made me laugh a little
Christ, none of my 'tormenting younger siblings' stories tops this.
Well, perhaps the one where I convinced my three younger brothers to run away and live in the woods like in "My Side of the Mountain", just so I could have the house to myself.
...
Wow, as kids, we were some fucked up individuals.
<--- Implying that he stopped being fucked up.
9 inch rust???
I think I win this battle
rusts
8========3
rarity want
mine
…………………...„„-~^^~„-„„_
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…………./ : : „-* . .| : : : : : : : : '|
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………...\„-* . . . . .| : : : : : : : :'|
……….../ . . . . . . '| : : : : : : : :|
……..../ . . . . . . . .'\ : : : : : : : |
……../ . . . . . . . . . .\ : : : : : : :| you get me???
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First off, this sounds like my day. Except I have a sister. (No! IT'S NOT FUCKING RAPE! AND INCEST TOO! I DON'T DO THAT!)
Second, you learn how to take your pants off when immobilized if you have a lot of experience being raped or in the Boy Scouts.
Third, My cousins started calling me billy. .-.
... Just click here.
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nyqqa u gay ;)
1259888 okay.
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LIES FUCKING LIES!
I DON'T UNDERSTAND! AT ALL! SOMEBODY EXPLAIN TO ME!