Dec
29th
2012
Super-Secret "Shipping Sickness" Deleted Scene Action · 2:25am Dec 29th, 2012
Just doing a little cleanup of my writing notes-file, and I discovered an extended opening sequence for the story "Shipping Sickness" back when it was going to be a lengthier tongue-in-cheek satire of relationshipping fictions rather than a short, loose framework for me to spit out bad puns. The story is actually stronger in its current form, but if you're curious for a taste of what the story was going to look like before it mutated into its present form, check out the original opening.
Ermergerd...
I see no reason why you can't add this as Part Zero of the story. It's fantastic.
Also, I really hope you go into further detail about Fluttershy's brush with androgens.
"If you're stylish enough, gender doesn't matter so much."
Spoken like a true ... I don't know yet, but I will find out!
And I +1 658115's idea. This is too good to be hidden in a musty rtf in a old dropbox on an anonymous server somewhere.
This needs just a little author's note, your post might even be enough already.
haha
that was still a pretty funny intro
...and Pinkie's power to do the impossible is great
I definitely think this needs to be added as an extra. It's far too good to hide away.
That's uh, that's still pretty good, you know?
This was a fun little treat... I don't think there's any question that the story is stronger as is, but it was fun to read this anyway!
Do you know how long it's been since I've read something that made milk snort out my nose? Well, this would have been it, if I had been drinking milk. Let me go get some....
I agree that the story works better without this beginning, but this was pretty durn funny on its own. AJ takes honesty seriously, I see.
Ah... Shipping Sickness. The puns, they hurt. So, what's this thing then...
I love this piece of description.
Rarity is all for gender equality. Or something.
I'm actually a little behind of season 3 right now but... you wrote this a while ago, right? I'm confused.
All in all, it's good, funny banter, and answers some questions about what the heck was going on. I can see why it doesn't quite fit with the rest of Shipping Sickness, but thanks for sharing.
"Run screaming to Celestia."
Sounds about right to me. If I lived near Twilight, I'd have a 'Call Celestia cause Twi has gone nuts again' button on me at all times. Twi is best pony and all, but she is a bit prone to going temporarily insane...
658198, 658154, 658115
Thanks for the vote of confidence, you three, but if "Shipping Sickness" has a strength, it's that it is rather focused and gem-like in its stupidity, and I'm loath to clutter the story file with errata. I'm glad you liked the old opener, though!
660554 I don't see having the old opening as clutter though. I really enjoy seeing behind the scenes sorts of things like this.This is an extra that isn't necessary to enjoy the story but adds to it. I freely admit to anyone I link this story too I'm going to mention this after they finish because to me it's a valuable part of the story.
It's an appealing little view of a might have been for the story.
Won't deny that they are sort of hoping this might help sway you to change your mind.
660554
So you don't want to put it up as an addendum to "Shipping Sickness"? Put it up as it's own story then. It can surely pull it's own weight in random comedy.
I'll just repeat what I already wrote: This is too good to be hidden away.
Unless you can use it in another story.
660842
Thanks again. I think maybe I'll be salvaging bits of it for use in other stories. In fact, Rainbow Dash's extended hypothetical situation gag was already repurposed as Cutie Mark Crusaders dialogue in "Contraptionology!" Things get used.
I agree that this would be a perfectly serviceable lesso- i mean, PART zero.