Ghost Mike's Ponyfic Review Monday Musings #35 · 6:00pm Oct 31st, 2022
What’s this? Halloween, you say? You know, it used to be an exciting time for me. Even as an adult, the last few years, I’d look forward to a little pumpkin carving, at the very least. But eh, lately I haven’t even done that. This year hasn’t really broken that trend. It’s not alone – most one-day holidays tend to glaze right by me these days, over in a flash. Honestly, though, it doesn’t bother me much. I certainly want to get back to carving a pumpkin every year, but otherwise, it’s fine, I suppose.
Suitable milestone for a ghost’s blog to hit on Halloween, though – I’ve now reviewed over one million words of Ponyfic! Good thing I’m not gunning for any kind of record – the 54.8+m of Present Perfect remains insurmountable, to say nothing of the 71.9+m of PaulAsaran, and while I don’t have Fimfiction bookshelves to add it up for folks like Loganberry, or retirees like Chris (EDIT: I do actually, at 25m, plus an est. 3-7 million more from offsite fics), I don’t doubt they’re substantial too (though as Titanium Dragon clocked out at 8+m before retiring, that’ll be something to reach one day). Even TCC56’s Recommendsday blogs, almost a year older than mine and only covering 2 fics most weeks, still has 4.5+m words. Not an issue, these blogs here are little more than me documenting the fics I’m reading anyway. Pure fun on some horse words, albeit insightful (hopefully!) fun. I’m honoured to be a known entity by now. A minor one, but known all the same. 
Besides, I’m sure that word count will increase faster now that I regularly read 30+K most weeks, especially as that goes up and I get in some novel fics in the future.
[Also, funnily enough, this blog is my first after the site crossed the threshold of 1 million submitted blogs. Least going by the ID numbers in the URL, anyway. Funny how these things work out sometimes, isn't it?]
In the meantime, here’s another batch of five fics. No horror or Nightmare Night-themed entries, sadly. Maybe next year I’ll coordinate this in advance enough to be able to do that as a theme. For now, your usual batch of mostly light reading with some heavier stuff sprinkled in there too.
This Week’s Spectral Stories:
I Am Not Gay by DisneyFanatic23
Minor Details! by Tchernobog
Rules of Engagement by Craine
Parent Teacher by Rocket Lawn Chair
School of Hard Knocks by The Princess Rarity
Weekly Word Count: 41,978 Words
I Am Not Gay by DisneyFanatic23
Genre: Romance/Slice of Life/Dark (?) (w/Sex, Alternate Universe)
Rainbow Dash, Twilight, Pinkie, Mane 6, Soarin
13,404 Words
March-June 2014Reread
You’d think being in a great relationship with Soarin, the Wonderbolt, would be enough for Rainbow Dash. And it was, up until an unsettling experience where she doesn’t want to proceed any further. Later, after Rarity lets slip that she used to think Rainbow was gay, and Rainbow reflects on this and gets input from her friends, she deeply wonders what her orientation is.
While not a self-insert, this is a story that does, at times, runs the risk of being a dictionary/Wikipedia-style introduction to some of the less common types of sexuality. Especially in the 2nd chapter, which primarily concerns Dash reading up on such. Certainly, in some aspects, the story is primarily a vehicle for expositing on these topics, with characters and events acting in certain ways purely to fuel it at times. What makes this all breeze by without feeling nauseatingly preachy, aside from having some nuance to the tried-and-tested dilemma of uncovering one’s identity and coming out, is that decent thought has been given to the sexualities given to the characters defined as such within (this is the rare FiM story where most characters aren’t gay or bi), such that even if one doesn’t agree with that interpretation of that character, it feels plausible. Not something to be taken for granted, and many of DisneyFanatic23’s best-known stories, primarily but not exclusively the Bride of Discord series, are guilty of rolling with ships by pure author preference (especially in the case of Applejack/Spike, making the ambiguous nature of moments for the two here something to be grateful for).
The other notable merit is that while this does get rather ham-fisted and melodramatic in a none-too-organic way at times, Rainbow’s plight does serve to carry this to a proper conclusion and serviceable flow. I can for sure see this probing quite deep for those new to some of this material, or struggling with a similar dilemma. Other aspects of the story don’t flow as well – Twilight in particular shifts from assuredly confident to more timid than Dash between chapters, and on the same subjects, and it never quite flies – but it’s an earnest and serviceable take on its material. I’m glad this exists.
Rating: Passable
Minor Details! by Tchernobog
Genre: Romance/Comedy
Twilight, Applejack, Celestia, Luna, OC
23,146 Words
December 2013
Literally the morning after her engagement to Applejack, before they’ve even had a chance to tell any of their friends, Twilight has been summoned to investigate an old artefact of Star Swirl’s freshly found. It turns out to be a good thing Applejack came with to inform the princesses of the engagement alongside her fiancée, because it means when said artefact catches Twilight in a time loop, she’s got someone to tackle this with, and to keep her sane. Not an easy task when wedding plans are also at the forefront of Twilight’s mind.
That this story has more than one character in the time loop is already enough to set it apart in its genre, and that’s not the only avoidance of common tropes, as they have minimal trouble convincing Celestia and Luna of what happened after the first loop, and even less after that. Plus, y’know, the genre tags, and the lack of an Adventure tag, don’t lie; this is by-and-large a lighthearted story far less concerned with characters breaking down trying to get out of this externally-caused mess (though that is still applied in a suitable manner), then it is with Canterlot-grounded research (through the notes of a Star Swirl who had time to try a bit everything in his life, it seems) as the side dish to a pretty fantastic depiction of Twilight and Applejack weathering stress on their relationship and making it through. Pretty much throughout the whole story, the focus alternates between the external plot and their relationship, making them gel even when they have no direct connection except by timing.
Indeed, once one gets past this being far less adventurous than expected (albeit one sparkling with humour mostly of the dry variety), the main relationship really shines. The dialogue and banter between the two leads just clicks, and their status as fresh fiancées is remarkably sturdy and credible in spite of just being a thing the viewer had to roll with from the start, always impressive. This is all from Applejack’s perspective, thus viewing Twilight’s approach and decisions throughout from the outside, but it’s never overdone either, lending it a nice middle ground of being able to sell the sections less viewpoint-dependent without getting bogged down by her thoughts.
You’ll also notice it’s a comedy, and while large chunks are humour free, it generally works when it shows up, from such random asides as a perky medical doctor to some overzealous field experts, to a wry depiction of Celestia and Luna playing well-served supporting roles. Some of the decisions here seem a bit off – a side story Luna tells about Rainbow Dash has no bearing on either the scene or the story – and the pacing control, otherwise immaculately tight, gets a little lax towards the end. But by and large it’s a delightful romantic comedy.
Just about the only part that doesn’t work is the ending. Okay, it does work and make sense, especially if the reader figures out the problem and solution beforehand, and it fits with the relationship being foregrounded, but it still feels a little off-key, and perhaps a little anticlimactic. Still, the strengths of this one otherwise are so strong it more than weathers that. Zinging dialogue, deftly handled, wonderfully characterised, and warm and inviting even in the more serious moments, this is just a good fun fic, all the more for being so different from what the packaging would have you believe, while still feeling true to it.
Rating: Really Good
Rules of Engagement by Craine
Genre: Comedy/Random
Applejack, Rarity
1,083 Words
June 2013Listened to via Scribbler's reading
The Diamond Dog fiasco was the final straw for Applejack: Rarity simply cannot fight, and she feels it’s a necessary skill to have. After much hemming and hawing, Rarity reluctantly agrees to a bout of training, despite remaining steadfast that any situation can be talked or charmed out of. To say the first day doesn’t go as expected, for either of them, would be a neutrally factual way of looking at things.
Don’t let that tiny slip of a wordcount fool you – this story is quite dense and deep, at least more so than you probably expect. It’s a little exaggerated for comic effect in the character’s personalities and characteristics, but not by all that much, and this lends a certain credence to what is basically a 800-word warmup to the final punchline. Certainly, on reflection, Rarity comes across better than expected. Even if AJ remains the queen, as well she should.
Gets in and out and doesn’t hold the reader’s hand more than marginally. Some of the comedy isn’t easy to catch as a result, but that’s all by intent. Amusing little piece that succeeds at what it wants to do.
Rating: Decent
Parent Teacher by Rocket Lawn Chair
Genre: Slice of Life
Celestia, Night Light
2,418 Words
May 2021Reread
Parent-teacher conferences are nothing new, for Celestia or the parents. Part and parcel of sending your foal to her school, really. A private meeting with her student’s father, now that’s a fair bit rarer. And when meeting with Night Light to discuss how Twilight’s doing, in light of some recent events, she finds herself more challenged and affected than she has been in a very long time.
The main point of this story is to have Night Light’s specific worries about Twilight, once they transition past her being lonely and the potential of bullying (not in the school, Celestia makes sure of that, but beforehand), touch on areas that make Celestia think of her own past, how she consoles her own sister when she was feeling down, and actually confessing some of these details to give Night Light something to go on. In that regard, the fic is a success: the relatable worries are communicated with believable emotional reactions and little quirks in the dialogue and actions (Celestia adapting to Night Light not being one for tea early on is a highlight). Mirroring a parent doing what they can for their little child and not always succeeding makes for a compelling reflection to Celestia’s own past, the execution of this moment makes it not feel like a shortcut to viewer penetration at all, and the fic ends on the perfect note with Celestia on her own.
However, there is one major issue that mangles the flow and feel of the story here. The ostensible reason for the two meeting has to do with Twilight coping with the death of her hamster, and that’s fine. Yet after that, a major bombshell is dropped, and then almost-instantly ignored, which would only fly if the story’s tone then revealed itself to be an absurd comedy. Yet it doesn’t, and continues on as the same introspective piece it began as. It has a certain kooky “sure, why not” element to it that makes it more debilitating than outright bad, but it’s still working against everything the fic is trying to do.
That I still enjoyed the fic in spite of a major issue like that speaks well of its strengths, especially off of that issue being an easy one to fix, or avoid thereafter. It’ll be interesting to see how more recent fics from Rocket Lawn Chair fare on that front.
Rating: Decent
School of Hard Knocks by The Princess Rarity
Genre: Comedy/Random/Slice of Life
Cheerilee
1,927 Words
March 2014Reread
Final test of the year are submitted. Cheerilee is super confident her students did very well – they’ve been studying all year, have said they know the material, and she has the utmost faith in them. She’s actually looking forward to grading their papers. This proves to be a mistake.
This is pretty much exactly the fic you’d expect, and largely on the path of least resistance. Cheerilee ploughs her way through a few dumb answers in the first test we see on basic Equestrian history, then we skip to the last tests at the end that run the range of pure laziness, questioning the system, stating political views and proposing conspiracy theories. Heck, “your mom” even appears as an answer, over four years before the show used it.
Cheerilee’s replies of dry frustration to the answers freshen it up a bit, as does a pair of codas having her join her sister for drinks (not the one from #29 of the main FiM comic, that was a year away; the reveal of who it is may surprise you) and the confused reactions of the students to their tests. So it manages to sustain itself for its short length. Still, a pretty routine approach to the topic of Cheerilee correcting troll answers on some tests.
Rating: Passable
Spooky Summary of Scores:
Excellent: 0
Really Good: 1
Pretty Good: 0
Decent: 2
Passable: 2
Weak: 0
Bad: 0
You know, I actually didn't "get" the point behind the ending of Rules of Engagement the first time I read it. It took me a few days before it, er, "hit me". Then I felt kind of dumb, but with a better appreciation of the conclusion.
Also, I couldn't resist translating the cube in the cover art of Minor Details! weeks in advance of reading it. One must wonder who left the message.
5695480
Interesting. I never thought to translate it myself (this was a fic I read while travelling, and saved offline, meaning I saw the cover art less than when reading straight from Fimfiction). Now you've got me mega curious what it says!
I can easily tell the text towards the bottom of the cover art is just the fic's title and author, anyway, being that the number of letters remains the same (and yes, I know there's a term for cipher languages like this, it's just escaping me at this moment), but the cube's another story altogether.
5695498
I just kept seeing it and seeing it and eventually couldn't help myself.
Exactly, and you can use them as a key to translate the text. You won't find all the letters that way, but it reveals just enough that you can figure out the rest pretty easily. It was a fun if brief puzzle. But if you decide you don't want to bother with it, I actually included the translation in my review, although I never acknowledged that's what I was doing at the time.
FWIW, my own estimate for OMPR words (which sadly must remain an estimate, since not all the stories I reviewed are conveniently located on FiMFic where they can be thrown in group and have their wordcounts added up) is "only" 28-32 million. Even if you add in the 4.5 million words I read for the RCL that didn't also find their way onto my blog, it's still a much more reachable number than PP's or Paul's!
5695556
Derp, I didn't think to check for a Reviewed bookshelf for you, as since your reviews were on an offsite blog, I'd assumed there wouldn't be one. Regardless, helpful info, accounting for fics not on Fimfiction, and given how early you started, quite a few weren't, I'll bet. Kudos!
But still, that's a decent 3rd place milestone, and one I don't see being pushed out of that position for a good long while, if ever – even if I got to reading, say, a million words every three months, that would still take eight years to catch up with.
And agh, yet again, I'm very bad with checking your old blog to see others' reviews of a fic I've looked at. Must make a better effort of that.
5695561
That's all right. Just take it one million at a time.
A Twijack story that is also a time loop? And isn’t about psychological torture? Oh boy oh boy sign me right up to read that!