Ugh... ignore Jadeile... I never went to writers training grounds or school for shit. (Sorry if you don't like curses.)
I just started fresh with the first thing I ever wrote that wasn't a paper for school and then improved on myself.
Read the first paragraph to SpitFire's Honor and you'll see that it was complete shit and I guarantee your stuff is already better than my first story- and now read my most recent stuff, that's all self improvement with a little help from a friend who I really needed second opinions with-

Ignore critics on fanfictions if they get aggressive- only people who have decent/nice stuff to say are worth paying attention to. If they want to waste their time trying to kick a writer in the nuts then they are just another dime-a-dozen critic.
It's best to get stuff done yourself, but there is a time when you could use a little help.

Just wanted to speak my peace.

Hi
I happened to notice your story and truth to be told... it really isn't good. I decided to check your profile and noticed that you have another story too that isn't quite top-notch and that you had received con-crit and not-so-con-crit on it, and seemed to be willing to take it but not sure what to do with it and a bit defeated by the sheer amount of it. I figured that I'd give you a helping hoof. Here's a couple of groups that might be able to help you:
Writer's Training Grounds
School for New Writers

Please go and join either or both of those and ask for help there. I'm sure that with proper guidance you will do much better. I hope you will keep on writing and one day be great at it. Don't give up