It is I, your Evil Overlord Dark Chocolate! As one of my loyal subjects, you are required to learn about the COMPLETELY AND TOTALLY ACCURATE history of the origins of my great princedom kingdom! (I'll decide on this later)[EMPIRE! My awesome Evil Empire!]
Within these pages is the record of my rise to greatness! Feast your eyes upon my accomplishments so that you may know how awesome I am and how lucky you are to have such a great pony as your Evil Overlord!
NOT FOR ICKY OLDER SISTERS! (Yes that means you Tutti! Hooves off or I'm telling Mom!)