//------------------------------// // How I ALMOST Stole Sweet Apple Acres // Story: Diary of an Aspiring Evil Overlord // by CopperTop //------------------------------// Monday Morning Tutti Frutti put a piece of paper on her bedroom door yesterday that said: “Days Since Last Milk Grounding” with a “0” under it in permanent marker.  I asked her if she was really going to make a new paper to hang on her door every day with a different number.  She told me she knew she wouldn’t have to make other papers. She thinks she’s so funny.  I’ll show her! (Eventually)[It took longer than I’m willing to admit] On the bright side, being grounded in my room all day gave me a lot of time to come up with new ways to become an Evil Overlord!  After my boat sank, I spent hours drawing up my next plan. (Note to self: ask Mom for more crayons) I still think the bakery idea is a good one.  I just need to get bits a different way since being a pirate won’t work.  While Officer Barns was taking me home, I saw that orange mare with the hat from the apple farm.  She had a cart full of apples and ponies were walking up to her and giving her bits for apples.  That was when I had an awesome idea to get bits for the bakery: I can sell ponies apples! It’s not hard to get apples, I see them in the trees of the apple farm all the time.  So my new plan is to walk to the farm before school, get some apples, and then sell them to the other students at lunch.  This plan is so simple that nothing could go wrong! Monday Afternoon I found out today that the orange mare who sells apples in town has a little sister that’s in my class.  I also found out that I’m not supposed to just take apples off the trees at their farm.  It’s stealing.  (But that’s okay because I think an Evil Overlord would steal things)[I Really need to stop getting caught until I actually become their Evil Overlord though]  Miss Cheerilee put me in Time Out and told Mom. Grounded again. Coming up with a new plan right now. Tuesday My new plan to paint the apples and sell “oranges” did not work. Time Out.  Detention.  Grounded.  You get the idea. (Stupid Tutti and her stupid paper) I think Miss Cheerilee and the apple mare’s sister (Her name is Applebloom)[Her name should be AppleSTUPID!] are suspicious of me selling things in school now.  So instead of painting the apples again tomorrow and trying to sell “bananas” I’m going to come up with a new plan so that they don’t know I’m selling apples: I’m going to wear a disguise.  They’ll never suspect it was me, their future Evil Overlord Milk Chocolate! Wednesday They suspected it was me.   I guess I should have known the plan wouldn’t work.  That’s on me.  I forgot about how the orange apple mare (Her name is Applejack, which I didn’t know.  That was probably also a clue I wasn’t the real apple pony, since I called myself “Orange Apple Mare”) always wears a hat.  I’ll remember that for next time. Time Out.  Detention.  Grounded. (I should come up with a shorter way to write this to save crayons. I'm writing it way more than I expected to)[You and me both, Past Milk]{I just say: "I was foiled" now...} Also Mom wasn’t happy that I’d painted myself orange.  Dad wasn’t happy that I used all his orange paint without telling him.  Dad said something about me being “double grounded” for that which sounded kind of scary at first but feels a lot like being regular grounded.  Mom and Dad said I owe them fifteen bits now.  I decided not to ask them for the new crayons yet. Tutti Frutti did change her paper though.  Now it has a “-1” on it.   Stupid Tutti. Thursday I didn’t take apples from the farm this morning.  Mostly because Dad put a lock on the shed and so I couldn’t get the paint I needed to make “bananas”.  Instead I did spying stuff so I could make a better plan on how to get the apples.  Walking in and taking them was just getting me Time Outs and grounded all the time, but if the farm ponies just gave me the apples, then that wasn’t stealing and I couldn’t get in trouble!  Obviously I couldn’t pretend to be the orange apple mare when I asked them for the apples.  I still didn’t have a hat.  I need to pretend to be some other pony. That was when I learned that the orange apple mare had a Mom too just like me! (Applebloom says she’s their grandma, not their mom)  If I pretend to be that pony, then I can just tell the orange mare to give me the apples and she will and it won’t be stealing and I can sell them at school!  I can’t get green paint because the shed is locked so I’ll need to find another way to color myself.  I can’t use crayons to do it because I’m running out.  I’ll ask Mom for more tomorrow after I sell the apples at lunch and give her the bits I owe. I do have one idea on how to make myself green that should work and not cost any bits.  I remember from when I was at the pond with Truffle and his paper boat that there was a place where there was green slime floating on top.  I can just cover myself with that and the orange apple mare won’t be able to tell the difference!  I also already took the little blanket from on top of the table by the couch to tie around my neck like the old apple mare was wearing.  I’m glad she wasn’t wearing a hat too. This will be so easy! Because I didn’t try to sell stolen fruit at school, I didn’t get any Time Outs or detention today.  Which means I also didn’t get grounded!  I’m still going to mostly stay in my room and work on my Evil Overlord plans though. Tutti put the paper with the “0” on it back on her door.  I told her she can’t use any of my crayons to make a paper with a “1” on it tomorrow.  She said she knows she won’t need to make a new paper. I’ll show her! Friday I didn’t show her. I think my plan would have worked except that the orange apple mare wasn’t there this morning.  I don’t know where she was, but instead there was a big red stallion outside with the apple trees. (Applebloom’s brother Big Mac)  I knew I had a pretty good costume on though, so I walked onto the farm anyway and told him that I was the Apple Mom (I now know she’s actually their grandma and her name is Granny Smith but I’m not going to waste crayon changing it every time)[Still not sure if “Granny” is part of her actual name or not] and that he needed to give me some apples. Where I think I went wrong was that in the middle of saying that, I had an idea that, since I was the Apple Mom, I could just ask for all the apples.  So I told the big red stallion that I changed my mind and he had to bring me all of the apples from all of the apple trees. (I don't actually regret this. Real Evil Overlords should think big!)  He told me no.  That was actually all that he said: “Nope”.  And then he scooted me off the farm.  He’s very strong. (Maybe good minion material?)[I asked if he wanted to help me rule Equestria and he said “Nope”.  Oh well.  His loss] That was when Applebloom came outside to go to school.  Somehow she knew I wasn’t really the old mare either.  Probably because the real old mare was standing at the front door of their house right then waving goodbye to her.  She told me I smelled and that I couldn’t walk to school with her.  I did kind of smell a little bit because of the green stuff from the pond.  I also didn’t want to walk to school with an icky filly anyway! (Certainly not AppleSTUPID!)[I’d walk with Sweetie though]{On second thought, this doesn’t need to be in here.  Ignore it.  Your Evil Overlord Dark Chocolate commands it or you go to jail!} Applebloom told Miss Cheerilee what I tried to do and she told my Mom.  I didn’t get a for real Time Out, but I wasn’t allowed inside the school because of the smell from the stuff from the pond.  Mom wasn’t happy about having to leave her ice cream cart to come and get me to give me a bath before bringing me back to school.  I didn’t get a detention for missing classes in the morning, or grounded for being smelly at least.  Since I didn’t actually get any apples, I wasn’t in trouble for that either but Mom did tell me to stop going to the farm without her or Dad with me. Mom asked me where I got the blanket around my neck from and when I told her she said it was from Dad’s mom and was something called an “air loom” (heirloom) and not a toy and it was older than even she was and I wasn’t supposed to touch it again. So I did get grounded for messing up Dad’s table blanket. Drat. I didn’t ask her for new crayons.