The Strange Cases of Twilight Sparkle

by DrakoGlyph

Case 3

Twilight awoke the next morning and trotted downstairs. She could at least think, but her headache was still there. She first checked her tea kettle for water, before boiling for tea and sitting at her kitchen table. Spike still laid in bed, snoring away. She was slightly amazed that he hadn’t flamed his blankets to Celestia yet. When the tea was ready, she poured a cup before setting the kettle back and letting it steep.

She was still a little groggy—last night had been haunted by all the things she had seen yesterday. She hoped she wasn’t going mad herself. Perhaps this was the curse of the Elements of Harmony: to eventually go mad and consume each other and all those who get in the way. She rested her head on the table when Owlowiscious flew in the window, carrying a letter and dropping it on the table.

“I didn’t know you fetched letters too,” she said, half asleep on the table, “don’t let Spike know that. It’s one of his favorite duties.” She levitated the letter, and read the address.

Twilight Sparkle

Golden Oaks Library

Number 4, Main Street

At the Table

She looked twice at the bottom part of the address. How would the writer know she was sitting at the table… unless. She looked all around… there was a single cloud in the sky, a few of her books seemed misplaced, her door seemed a bit out of place…

She only had one choice, and she knew she had to confront them sooner, so she teleported all her friends to her. Rainbow appeared, as though she were in the middle of busting clouds. That only meant that her back foot was already in a collision course with her head. Fluttershy appeared next, dripping wet and covered in soap, whose immediate reaction was to slap the princess before her. Then Rarity appeared, shouting “SPIDER!” and her fore-hoof smashed directly into Twilight’s face. Applejack then appeared, in mid-buck, and knocked Twilight back a few paces, to appear under Pinkie, who was in mid-air, holding a note from a song, and landing flat on the Princess.

“Oh hey, this is the library. Oh hey girls, where’s Twilight?” Pinkie cheerfully said. There was only a groan from the Princess of Friendship as he pushed Pinkie off of her. “Oh, there you are! Don’t you know it takes more than one pony to catch an earth pony.”

“Thanks for the advice,” Twilight responded. “Now I want to know who wrote me this letter.”

“I was in the shower,” Fluttershy said.

“Go back to it, then,” Twilight relinquished, watching the yellow Pegasus walk out the door. “Now, who wrote this letter?”

“Ah’ve never seen it before in mah life,” Applejack replied, still getting used to the fact that she had moved spontaneously. “Oh mah, did I hit ya?”

“Yes, you all did, but I’m fine.”

“To be honest, Darling, there was a spider when you teleported me. It was purple, and it reminded me of you. But as cute as you are, I still don’t like spiders!”

“What? Cute?”

“Oh, nothing, Darling…”

“All I know is I was cloud busting, then I was here. I guess that’s why I hit you,” Rainbow admitted.

“So… no one has ever seen this letter before now?” Twilight said.

“Nope.”

“Never.”

“Can’t say Ah have.”

“Sorry, I can’t say I have.”

Fluttershy was in the shower, so she couldn’t have known she was at the table…

“Well, I apologize.” She sat back at the table, and opened the letter as all the other ponies filed out of her tree-library.

Dear Resident,

We do humbly invite you to Anonymous. We are here to crusade to make this world better in ways that regular harmony couldn’t.

WE ARE ANONYMOUS!

Sincerely,

Where the name would normally go, there was a severe amount of scratching out so as to obliterate all of the words underneath. Twilight knew there wasn’t a spell that would recover that information, but she could make out an ‘M’ at the edge of the scribbling.

Case 3:

I’m not sure what just happened, but I got a letter today from a group called Anonymous that wish to ‘crusade to make this world better in ways that regular harmony couldn’t.’ Honestly, Princess, I think they’re trying to usurp you. I would have double guard duty while I try and track down this group.

On the other hoof, I have five new hoof prints to add to the collection on my head, including another one from Applejack. And I thought Rarity was the generous one. Would you like to bring your sister and complete the set? On second thought, I don’t think my skull has the structural integrity to withstand any more hits like that.

This Royal Apology needs to be rewritten. I don’t think that it’s going to get done at any rate when my head keeps being a kicking bag.

Your Faithful Student,

Princess Twilight Sparkle

P.S. Do you happen to have anything that kills headaches? I don’t seem to ever have the time to see the doctors anymore. Is this another symptom of being a princess?

Dearest Twilight Sparkle,

I am not too concerned with this group called ‘Anonymous.’ I have never heard of them, and I think my scribe would remember a group that sends me mail involving trying to usurp me. Besides, I still think ponies are afraid I’ll send them to the moon. I would rather send them to the Grand Galloping Gala than send them to the moon. I still don’t know why you wanted to come the other year. That does really baffle me. I sent the tickets anyway.

I would love to see this hoof print collection some time. I must disagree with your choice of location… perhaps have some paints and put them on a sheet of paper? I don’t know, perhaps logic has faded through your close proximity to fast-moving hooves in the recent days.

As for cures for headaches, I’m not sure what I have to offer. I guess mine have just gone away for fear that I will… well… you know. And for being busy all the time, yes, that is very typical of princesshood. I do think that you need to schedule some time to just relax. Perhaps I should contact Rarity; I hear that she knows the Spa Twins there in Ponyville well.

Sincerely,

Princess Celestia

Dear Queen Kagome of the Kelpie

I do believe now is the best time to strike. Recent transmissions have determined that one of the princesses has suffered severe brain trauma. I think this may have put her logical processing at a minimum. The target: Ponyville.

Your Most Faithful Student,

Twilight Spark