To Serve Bronies

by Fuzzy Necromancer

Chapter 42

Lemon Hearts was attempting to squeeze through the crowd, somewhat hindered by the hooves in her face and sides. She could almost reach the delicious prey with her telekinetic magic.

“Why don’t we work together?” Penny Whistle shouted in her ear. He had to shout to be heard over the arguing and snarling of the other unicorns, spell blasts, and angry shouting of the Earth Ponies and Pegasi.

“You just want it for yourself!” Lemon Hearts snarled. This was the first meat meal she could have in six years, (she’d been really luck to get first dips on the elderly bear that died of natural causes, and Fluttershy hadn’t been in town to claim the remains for her Animal Graveyard.) She wasn’t just another grass-munching hay-gulping herbivore, no matter how she pretended otherwise. She was designed to feed on other living creatures.

“No really. Wouldn’t a little slice be better than none at all? None of us can reach it because we’re all pulling against each other.”
Somepony jabbed their horn into her ribs. It was blunt, but it still hurt a lot. She looked at the human, still floating off her stilts, wavering between points in the air.

Maybe she should compromise. After all, something is better than nothing, and hadn’t she been raised from a filly to share with friends and neighbors? She shouldn’t deny her fellow unicorns a once-in-a-lifetime taste of divine bliss.

“Okay, I can trust you at least,” she said, and aligned her telekinses with his. The human shifted slightly in their direction.
Suddenly, she didn’t feel so cold. She dug in her hooves and tried to think of a good bisection spell, the kind normally used for making potato chips out of raw potatoes.

Her concentration was broken, along with her nose. Maple Cookie drove his point home by delivering a suplex. It was nothing that wouldn’t heal, eventually, but it got her attention.

Lemon Hearts lashed back with a tickle spell, which proved ineffective. He grabbed her hoof and repeatedly pounded it against her broken nose, smearing blood in her mouth and eyes while shouting “Stop bucking yourself! Stop bucking yourself!”

A minor Conjuration of Fire and Water directed at his hindquarters made her objections a bit more clear. He reared up to retaliate, but Maple Cookie touched him with a Caress of Morphius spell and he fell down, fast asleep.

There were still lots of fights going on, but they turned their attention to the human. Their focus was so intent, that they didn’t notice the approaching candy-cane helicopter until it eclipsed the view.

“Sorry! Slight change of plans but don’t worry I’m going to get this party sorted out as soon as everypony calms down I swear don’t worry and here have some tofu jerky!” Pinkie Pie shouted down at them as she snatched up the human and pedaled with all her might.

Author's Note:

Plan Q begins.

Comments

[RadicalDishonesty]

I wonder if allowing them to eat actual meat might help? Like... non human, though.

I doubt tofu's gonna work this time.

[ferret]

helicopter power!

8203788
Part of the problem is the whole fasting thing because of the celebration. Another problem is that unicorns have been covering up their meat loving tendancies, for fear of being demonized by the herbivorous earth ponies. But it's pretty clear that this goes beyond just hunger.

I just hope they'll find a solution that doesn't involve murdering all humans. These unicorns are so enslaved by their desires, I can't help but feel sorry for them. It's not like they're just hungry, murderous assholes, but they literally cannot think anything bad about eating humans, even when it spits in the face of everything (else) they hold dear. Their whole world is falling apart around them, and they're not allowed to care about anything other than getting a taste of human.