To Serve Bronies

by Fuzzy Necromancer

Elders and a Diaper

Blossomforth Stretched her wings and limbered up before the long flight to the Clover Hill retirement center. They'd finished increasing the building's hoofprint, but they had to catch up with other supplies before they could take on more residents. Their kitchens could keep up with the increased food demand, and their laundering and medical facilities were up to it, but the keen new executive director Clever Biscuit tended to overlook the little things.

Blossomforth ducked under a dense cumulo-stratus patch. That was why she had to push against the wind to drop off a cargo of reading glasses. There'd been lots of unseasonal cold fronts, which complicated the normally predictable weather patterns. She'd have to see Quickfeather or Rainbow Dash about that.

It was nice to visit the old ponies' home now and then. Life there moved at a more measured pace. There was less feirce competition and struggles for identity. The timetable there was set by bingo halls, 4PM dinners, and frequent anonymous sex. She chuckled. Stallions like Silvermane and Stargazer weren't nearly as subtle about their liasons as they thought, but then they'd grown up in a more stuffy sort of Ponyville.

The smells of Clover Hill hit her before she caught sight of it's gabled windows, dark green awnings, and low bubbling fountain. Contrary to what her less charitable peers thought, it did not “smell like old people”. The whole building smelled strongly, but not overpoweringly, of orange oil cleaner fluid, along with hints of candle wax, marjuana, and cinnamon raisin oatmeal. There was also an acrid stink of thaumic discharge.

Wait, what?

Blossomforth sniffed the air again. The unmistakable aroma of offensive magic was unmistakeable.

“Oh dear,” she murmured. They hadn't let Thunderhoof see one of the classic War Reels, had they? Maybe the staff had just fended off a rogue wyvern. The smell increased.

Blossomforth plunged through the cloud cover and into the valley. Clover Hill's gabled windows were either shattered or rhymed with frost. The broad green awning speaking of Peace and Dignity for All was on fire. The fountain looked frozen, but before she could be an earth pony nurse ran out and plunged into it to extinguish the purple flames engulfing his mane.

“What the Nightmare Moon's cootch is going on?” Blossomforth asked.

“I don't know,” the nurse gasped out. “It started as a fight over reading glasses. Then the unicorns started spouting something about blood libel, and a bunch of earth ponies called them can-apples, and next thing you know—”

The nurse hopped to his hooves. He raised his forelegs just in time to catch Clever Biscuit, soaring out of the window with a distincitve hoofprint on his arse. The nurse grunted as he caught him. Clever Biscuit wiggled out and plunged gratefully into the cool waters.

“I think Golden Oats actually just gets STRONGER with age. Do these Earth Pony stallions ever cool down?” He moaned.

#

Fluttershy shredded clouds with more wingpower than she'd ever shown on the hurricane team. What else didn't she know about that puppy-bucking blue pegasus?

That was just fine. There was one type of friend you could always count on, at least.

She slowed down her descent and scooped up Angel from the ground.

His fur was so soft, and his little heart beat so fast. She nuzzled him gently and patted his soft fluff until she felt calm enough to cry.
Her favorite bunny licked away the tears, then ran off. While she coughed and snuffled, he returned with a box of tissues.

Fluttershy was familiar with “fair weather friends”, ponies who acted like friends when everything was going good but turned on you when things got tough. Angel was a foul weather friend.

Anyway, now she had her a new animal friend to take care of!

Angel hopped on her back and curled up. She gently patted him and folded her wings. Somepony had left a message on her door. She read it as she walked in.

“A party for Unicorns and Earth Ponies to welcome our newest extraplanar visitors! Pegasi, Dragons, Gryphons, Zebras, and all other comers also welcome. Cake and curries are on the menu! Mammalian bipeds are not.”

She set it down on the nightstand with a shiver. Pinkie Parties could be fun, and she liked when it was just her and her five, or rather, her closest friends. She was even willing to brave the crowds to come out for a friend's birthday party, but just getting lost in a sea of strangers...no, that didn't sound like fun at all. She prefered to spend time with friends that meowed, churped, roared, or squirted blood from their eyes.

“Now how is my little human friend?” Fluttershy cooed.

He squirmed a little. “Is the diaper really necessary?”

Fluttershy patted him with a wing. “I don't want you moving around too much, and it'll speed the healing if you don't have to keep rushing off to the outhouse.”

The human perspired a little. “And the fluffy pink blanket with ducks and kittens?”

She nuzzled his neck. “That's to keep you nice and warm. After all you don't have any fur of your own.”

“I see,” he said. His stomach growled.

“I guess the clover didn't suit your tastes,” she said. “Is there something you'd prefer? Applesauce? Puffy artichoke omelette? If you're a carnivore I have some fresh bear placentas in the ice house.”

The humans eyes widened and its stubby claws clenched. “Apples and omelettes sounds great. Please. Thank you. I don't need any placenta.”

“Alright then,” Fluttershy said. “I've got some nice duck eggs for the omelette.” She loved carnivorous animals just as much as herbivores, but that was different. Animals didn't have a choice about their diet, and they couldn't be held to the same moral standards as ponies.

“Maybe after you've gotten some food, I can polish your claws and brush your mane,” she said, hopefully.

The human flinched. “No, please. I don't like people, or ponies, touching my hair.”

Fluttershy started greasing the pan. “Alright. I can respect your boundries. I have a friend who can't stand having her hooves--”, Fluttershy stopped. She cleared her throat. “I can respect that.”

“Thank you,” Jamal the human said. He paused while she whipped up the eggs and peeled the artichokes.

“Are you alright?” the human said. “Your eyes look a little red.”

Fluttershy folded a wing around his shoulder. “It's kind of you to notice, but don't worry about me. I'll be just fine.” She kissed its smooth furless forehead. The human glanced at the nightstand. “I'll have your omelette ready in two shakes of a lamb's tail!”

Author's Note:

There's a rumble at the old folks home, and Fluttershy is very protective of her new human pal.

Comments

[Mortal Kombat]

Anit no party like pinkie pie party, cuz she won't let you get eaten at a pinkie pie party!
mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw5380-pinkie_party_hardy.gif
this is gonna be good.
mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw9280-1355678759230.gif

[isjor1]

Angel loves the taste of y our tears

[Red Bomber]

I'm guessing Pinkie Pie will be in for a fight when she has to stop the unicorns from eating the poor mutated human girl.

[ferret]

If she starts playing patty cake with him I'm leaving.

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[ioperm64]

Bear... Placenta? OAO
My only complaint about this story is the updates are too few and far between.

[Fuzzy Necromancer]

5666515
It's packed with essential nutrients!

[ioperm64]

5674091 I'm not going to ask how you know that.

[AliCentaur Br0ny]

This Fluttershy weirds-me-out a little. I'm not complainting, and I'm not saying that I sort-of can't see her actually doing some of this stuff now that I'm reading it, I'm just saying that this version of her, well, weirds-me-out a bit.