The Conjurer of Oz

by TheGSPony

Chapter 6: If Only I Could Use Those Fancy Mathematics.

The Conjurer of Oz
Written by TheGSPony

Authors Note:
Well it’s finally here, a new chapter for you to enjoy. And hopefully I can keep moving along with the chapters, I’m pretty busy with my job now, but I’ve got a little bit of free time on weekends to whittle away at this story, so hopefully I can spit out another chapter soon. Also i was trying to rush this through so I never proofread it so let me know if you see any major errors.

Character List (as they appear):
Dorothy – Twilight Sparkle
Aunt Em – Granny Smith
Uncle Henry/(Munchkin) Coroner– Big Mac
Hunk – Applejack
Hickory – Fluttershy
Zeke – Rainbow Dash
Todo – Spike
Miss Gulch/Wicked Witch – The Great and Powerful Trixie
Professor Marvel – Professor Swirl (OC pony- Friend of a descendent of Starswirl)
Good Witch of the North Glinda - Celestia
Nikko the Flying Monkey General – Pinkie Pie
Guest Appearances/Minor Characters:
Professor Marvel’s Horse Sylvester – Lyra
One of the farms horses (switched to cows for Equestria continuity) – Mooriella
Tornado encounters – Madam Mayor, Daisy Jo, Flim and Flam
Various Munchkins – Snips, Snails
Lollypop Guild – Cutie Mark Crusaders
Mayor – Mayor Mare
Mayors Associates – Doctor Whooves, Filthy Rich, Fancy Pants

Chapter 6: If Only I Could Use Those Fancy Mathematics.

Twilight had been wandering down the yellow brick road for most of the morning and her hooves were getting tired. She had at first been entranced by all the scenery and the colorful landscapes. Though as she walked the path eventually wandered into some corn fields and she was no longer able to admire much of the landscape since the stalks seems to be at their peak and thus blocked her view of all but the sky.

“Hey, guess what Twilight.” Spike said

“What is it Spike?” Twilight asked as they rounded a bend in the road.

“This reminds me of your battle with Discord, When you’ll were trapped in that hedge maze, except this time the walls are cornier” Spike joked.

“Ha Ha! Very funny Spike.” Twilight said, rolling her eyes. As they continued down the road, they approached an intersection with the yellow brick road splitting off into three different directions. “Follow the Yellow Brick road?” Twilight asked aloud as she walked into the middle of the intersection. “What the Hay!” She hollered as she turned to look down each of the paths. “That Witch never said what to do if we came to an intersection. How in the Hay am I suppose to know which way is the Emerald City?” Twilight complained while standing in the middle of the path, looking for any detail that would give up the answer to her question.

“Well Howdy do, but that there way is a very nice way” A voice suddenly announced from somewhere amongst the Corn stalks.

“Yagh!” Twilight shrieked jumping up as she was started by the sudden voice announcing the presence of somepony nearby. She looked into the Corn field looking for somepony hiding amongst the stalks, but all she saw was a Scarecrow hanging up on a pole, with one hoof pointing down one of the paths she had to take. “Who’s there, where are you? Spike did you see somepony” Twilight rapid fired her questions charging up her horn just in case.

“I don’t see anypony Twilight, just that odd looking scarecrow,” Spike said, pointing to the scarecrow on the pole.

“That’s absurd Spike. You don’t really think it’s that scarecrow that said it, scarecrows can’t talk.” Twilight said as she watched the scarecrow, looking for some sign of life, or a magical presence.

“Y’all would like it down that way as well Sugarcube.” the Voice said, at the exact same time that the scarecrow moved its hoof to point down the opposite path from where it was pointing before.

Twilight stared at the Scarecrow for a bit with a confused expression on her face, “Spike, please tell me I’m not crazy and that you saw that scarecrow move just now?” she asked keeping her eyes on the scarecrow.

“Um, yeah it definitely moved.” Spike said as he continued to stare at the scarecrow as well.

“Of course, if y’all can’t decide, there are some ponies that go both ways” the Scarecrow said as it crossed it’s hooves to point in both directions.

“What in the Hay, why you can talk!” Twilight exclaimed as she approached the Scarecrow. “You did say something, didn’t you? She asked. Causing it to shake it head left or right as if to say no, then it stopped and hesitated for a second, before shaking its head up and down. “What the Hay, Can’t you make up your mind?” She asked.

“Aw ponyfeathers, that’s my problem, I can’t make up my mind. Y’all hear, cause I ain’t got a brain.” The Scarecrow said. “Only Hay” the scarecrow concluded as she grabbed her straw hat and lifted up the side to reveal all the hay underneath.

“Aaugh! That doesn’t make any sense!” Twilight exasperated, “if you didn’t have a brain you couldn’t be moving or talking without the aid of magic, and I don’t sense anything of the sort on you.” She went on. “So how could you be talking without a brain?” She concluded.

“Well horseapples, I don’t know, but there are plenty of ponies without brains who do an awful lot of talking don’t they?” The Scarecrow questioned.

“Yes, I guess you‘re right, I can think of a few ponies I know who fit that description.” Twilight laughed.

---

“Achoo!” Nikko Pinkie suddenly sneezed as she wandered the witch’s castle, “Hmm, Somepony must be talking about me, maybe I should go investigate!” She said as she jumped out the nearest window and took flight.

---

Twilight approached the Scarecrow in the corn fields looking at her with the scrutiny of a scientist trying to make sense of a new discover. She was unsure how this scarecrow was able to talk and move and she wanted to find out. She also thought that this scarecrow looked vaguely familiar, but she couldn’t quite place it. This Scarecrow resembled an earthpony mare, and was wearing clothes that seemed made from burlap sacks. Atop her head, she had a Straw hat with a sunflower attached to its side. Whenever she moved some of her hay would slip out and she would have to stuff it back in. Her mane and tail were quite plain and aside from being made from hay, they seemed to hold together pretty being tied up in a ponytail. Twilight continued to scrutinize the scarecrow until she heard the voice of her assistant.

“Twilight, shouldn’t we introduce ourselves?” Spike asked trying to catch Twilights attention.

“Oh! I’m sorry, I got so wrapped up in my thoughts, I forgot to introduce myself, my name is Twilight Sparkle, and this is Spike.” Twilight said.

“Well Howdy do Miss Twilight, and welcome to Candied Corn Acres.” the Scarecrow replied, “and how are y’all doing today?” She inquired

“Well aside from the tornado, my house landing on a witch and angering her sister, and being utterly lost in some new land that’s never heard of Equestria without any of my friends, I guess things are going very well, how about you scarecrow.” Twilight replied with a hint of pent up agitation.

“Well land sakes, that sounds like quite a tale, as for me, I’m not doing very well at all, you see it’s a mite bit uncomfortable being stuck up here til the cows come home with a pole in your back.” The Scarecrow countered while flailing her hooves to show how she was suspended above the ground.

“Sweet Celestia, that does sound uncomfortable,” Twilight exclaimed, “is there any way for you to get down?” she asked.

“Well give me a second will y’all,” The Scarecrow said as she proceeded to attempt to reach behind herself and grab the pole.

“Do you need a hoof, I could help you?” Twilight asked.

“No thanks, I can take care of myself,” Scarecrow said as she tried to wiggle off the pole, “if I could just move this way,” she continued as she tried to shift to one side. “Now I just have to turn like this.” She went on talking herself through the procedure. After a few attempts and several grunts and groans later the Scarecrow gave up and conceded, “Okay, I guess I really could use y’alls help”

Twilight smiled as she walked up behind the Scarecrow and started examining the pole she was attached to. “Well let me help you then, now let’s see…” She said as she looked for a way to release scarecrow.

“Much obliged Twilight,” Scarecrow said.

“Well, I’m looking for a way to get you down, but I just don’t know how to go about releasing you.” Twilight said with a hint of worry hidden in her tone.

“Well Horseapples, now I’m not very good at them fancy mathematics and physics stuff, but I believe if you just change the angle of the nail downward in the back, gravity should help me get down just like an apple being bucked from a tree” Scarecrow replied.

“Oh, well let me see.” Twilight said as she charged her horn and magically bent the nail, and with a sudden slip the scarecrow came falling down to earth.

“Oomph!” Scarecrow grunted as she landed on her plot then rolled over as she attempted to stand. “What the Hay!” She yelled as she got up. “I just keep losing bits of me whenever I move” she complained, pointing to the pile of hay that had fallen out of her stomach area in the fall.

“Holy Celestia, Does that hurt?” Twilight shrieked, seeing the ‘insides’ of the scarecrow on the ground next to her.

“Oh no, it doesn’t hurt at all I just have to pick it up and put it back in again, though it can get time consuming, Hungry?” Scarecrow replied, offering some of her stomach hay to Twilight.

“Um ahahah! I think I’ll pass Twilight said as her face turned a slight shade of green at the prospect of eating this ponies insides, if you could call them that.

“I’ll take some, I’m starving!” Spike exclaimed taking the piece from scarecrow and eating it himself.

“Well land sakes, it feels good to move the old hooves again, Bucky McGillicuddy and Kicks McGee were getting sick of hanging around all day.” Scarecrow exclaimed as she took her first few steps in several days and promptly fell down.

“Ah! Are you okay?” Twilight asked as she hustled over to where Scarecrow fell down.

“I’m just dandy, but did I happen to scare you?” Scarecrow asked?

“Oh! No, not at all, I just was worried you had hurt yourself” Twilight replied as she sat down on the ground with Scarecrow.

“Like somepony made of straw could possibly hurt themselves, we just watched her shove her stomach back in” Spike deadpanned.

“Oh ponyfeathers, I didn’t scare you? Scarecrow asked.

“No of course not, why would you want to?” Twilight replied.

“I didn’t think so.” Scarecrow started as a crow flew onto her straw hat. “Boo! Scat!” She yelled at the bird which promptly ignored her. “Horseapples, I can’t even scare a crow. They come from all over the Land of Oz, just to eat in my corn fields and mock me, I almost wish I had an apple orchard instead since they wouldn’t bother it.” Scarecrow continued to rant. “Why it wouldn’t be such a problem if I had a brain, then I could outsmart the varmints” She concluded.

“I think I am going to regret this, but what would you do with a brain if you had one?” Twilight asked Scarecrow.

Suddenly there was a rustling in the nearby corn field causing Twilight Spike and the Scarecrow to turn and face the noise and then a pink blur ran out of the field and straight towards Twilight, coming to a stop directly in front of her.

“Hiya Twilight, Did I miss it?” Nikko Pinkie yelled

“Pinkie?” Twilight screamed, when she realized who it was. “What are you doing here? I thought you were helping Trixie?” she continued.

“Oh, I am helping her, but right now she’s being a big old gigantic grumpy McGrumper pants so I decided to see how you were doing. Oooo! You found your first team member, only two more to go and you max out your party size.” Nikko Pinkie rambled on.

“Pinkie, you still haven’t answered why you are here?” Twilight continued, pressing Pinkie for answers.

“Oh, well, I didn’t want to miss the song.” Nikko Pinkie replied with a shrug.

“Wait what song?” Twilight interrupted.

“Well duh! The one that’s about to start, but don’t mind me, I’ll just stay hidden in these bushes for now.” Nikko Pinkie said as she jumped into the corn field and disappeared.

“Well that was awkward, now where were we?” Twilight asked Scarecrow.

“What in the hay?” The Scarecrow exclaimed before recalling the previous conversation. “Well, you had just asked me about what I would do with a brain” She finished

“Well what would you do?” Twilight asked again.

“Aw Ponyfeathers, if I had a brain, I could…” Scarecrow started, causing Twilight to realize another song was brewing in this land apparently filled with ponies who seemed to want to sing about everything.

“I could while away the hours,

Conferrin’ with the powers

About the Mathematics of strain.”

And my mane I’d be combing’

While my thoughts were busy roaming’

If I only had a brain.”

At this point, Scarecrow decided to roll over onto the road and use the momentum of the spin to help her stand up. As she slowly started to rise Twilight rushed over to lend her a hoof if she desired it

“I’d unravel every riddle

For any individ’le

In trouble or in pain”

As she sang, the Scarecrow successfully stood up on her hooves for the first time in a while and attempted to maintain it. Twilight could tell she was still a bit unstable so she stayed next to her and managed to catch her when she inadvertently slipped.

As she was helping Scarecrow to get up, Twilight caved in and decided to get into the song as well, hoping she could encourage her to stay upright.

“With the ideas you’d consider

You’d be another Clover the Clever

If you only had a brain.”

This motivated Scarecrow to try harder and she finally managed to stand unaccompanied. Scarecrow started to let loose and toss a few turns into her impromptu song and dance number, though they were a bit sporadic considering how long it had been without her standing on all four of her hooves. She stumbled frequently but managed to stay up as she song the next few lines

“Oh, I could tell you why

The Zap Apples rarely grow

I could think of things I’d never think I’d know.

And then I’d sit til my minds aglow

Scarecrow intentionally dropped down at this point looking up at Twilight before she started to rise again testing her flexibility and doing a quick spin to test her balance.

I would not be just on display

my head all full of hay’

my heart all full of pain.

Scarecrow was really getting into her song so she started jumping around on her own and then started to complete a few spins.

“I would prance all a glitter

life would be an apple fritter

if I only had a brain!”

“Whoah!” Scarecrow cried at the conclusion of her song when she slipped and fell in the center of the intersection during her spinning. This caused Twilight to rush to her aid carrying some of the hay that had fallen from her stomach area again.

“Wow! That was different…” Twilight remarked as she stuffed the fallen hay back into Scarecrows body. “Are you sure you don’t have a brain, or are being powered by some magic, cause if the scarecrows back in Equestria could do that, it would be as effective as Fluttershy’s stare” She finished.

“It would!” Scarecrow exclaimed, “and what is this Fluttershy’s Stare, it sounds scary” she continued.

“Um yes, and well a friend of mine has the ability to stare animals into suspicion” Twilight replied.

“Well land sakes! So, where’s this Equestria y’all been talking about?” Scarecrow asked.

“Well that’s where I live, and I want, no I need to get back there as soon as possible before any more disasters occur.” Twilight answered as she started looking back down the paths trying to determine her next destination, “That’s why I am heading to the Emerald City to ask the Conjurer of Oz for help.” She continued.

Scarecrow stared at Twilight for a moment as the nonexistent wheels in her head spun around until something clicked, “You’re going to see the Conjurer?” she asked.

“Why yes I am.” Twilight replied.
“Do you think if I went with y’all, this here Conjurer might give me some brains?” Scarecrow asked.

“I don’t know, but this is the Conjurer of Oz were talking about, he has to help, everypony I have spoken to has spoken so highly of him. Besides, even if he doesn’t help you, you’d be no worse off then you are now.” Twilight said.

“Yes, that’s true” Scarecrow acknowledged

“But on second thought, you probably shouldn’t come, I’ve got a witch mad at me, and if she acts the same as I remember her, she’s likely to target you to get to me and that would be a lot of trouble for you.” Twilight said, trying to get Scarecrow to change her mind.

Witch? Well Horseapples! I’m not afraid of a witch!,” Scarecrow started enthusiastically, “I’m not afraid of anything…” she continued suddenly getting quiet and looking around nervously. “Well shoot, in all honesty I’m afraid of many things, droughts, lightning, fire...” she whispered

“Well, I don’t blame you for those; especially the fire, that would be quite dangerous for you, being made of hay and all.” Twilight replied.

Suddenly overwhelmed with confidence Scarecrow shouted “Well I reckon I’d face down a full grown fire breathing dragon for the chance of getting some brains.” She started to stand up while reasoning with Twilight about letting her tag along. “Look, I won’t cause y’all any trouble, because I don’t eat a thing, well I’ll occasionally eat apples, but I don’t need to.” She stated. “And I’m no good with fancy mathematics, so I won’t try to manage anything because I can’t think, so won’t you please take me with you?” Scarecrow pleaded.

Twilight stood up as she pondered the decision to have the scarecrow join her, she knew the scarecrow looked familiar, but she just couldn’t place it, she was trying to remember where she had seen this pony before. “Why of course I will” Twilight answered, deciding that she could figure out more about this pony as she traveled to the Emerald City.

“Yee-Haw! We’re off to see a Conjuror!” Scarecrow hollered as she jumped into the air. Unfortunately she still wasn’t used to standing that well and slipped when she landed causing her to topple over though Twilight was able to catch her and hold her mostly upright.

“Well you aren’t starting off very well” Twilight said as she held her hoof around scarecrow helping her to regain her balance

“Oh I’ll try! Really, I will.” Scarecrow said as she stopped wobbling and stood up straight on all 4 of her hooves again

“To Oz?” Twilight asked as they turned to face down the nearest section of the path

“To Oz!” Scarecrow replied as they began to step off together.

As the two companions took off they began to sing and as they did they turned to face each direction the path took and eventually choose the path they felt was best and began down the path.

“We’re off to see the Conjuror,”

“the Wonderful Conjuror of Oz”

“We hear he is a Con of a Conjuror if ever a Conjurer there was”

“If ever oh ever a Conjuror there was the Conjuror of Oz is one because”

“Because, because, because, because, because”

“Because of the wonderful things he does.”

“We’re off to see the Conjuror,”

“the Wonderful Conjuror of Oz”

“Twilight wait!” Spike yelled, as Twilight and Scarecrow made their down the path to the left of where Twilight had originally come to the intersection.

“What now Spike?” Twilight said as she and the scarecrow halted and turned back towards the intersection.

“Um Twilight How do you know that is the right way?” Spike asked.

“Well, Scarecrow seemed to think this was the right way and it looks like a good choice to me?” Twilight said.

“Twilight did you bump your head at some point since we got here? Cause since when did you follow the directions of a Scarecrow without a ‘brain’ I mean come on your smarter than that.” Spike explained putting emphasis on the brain or lack thereof.

“Oh whoops, you’re right Spike. I guess I just got swept up in the moment. Now how do we determine which way is the right way.”

“Oh! I know, Pick me! Pick me!” Nikko Pinkie said as she jumped out onto the path again.

“Pinkie?” Twilight stated with a hint of confusion as she had been startled by the pink ponies sudden reappearance.

“Yes! Thank you Twilight.” Nikko Pinkie said.

“Huh! Wait.” Twilight said still recovering from her confusion. “Pinkie, have you been here this whole time, and you knew which way to go?” Twilight asked Pinkie

“Well Duh! Of course I have, how else was I going to help you choose the correct path.” Nikko Pinkie stated matter-of-factly

“Let me guess, next, you’re going to tell me you know why Scarecrow seems so familiar to me.” Twilight remarked

“Well that’s easy silly pony, but I can’t tell you, you have to figure out where you’ve seen her on your own, but don’t worry you’ll figure it out before you wake up.” Nikko Pinkie said.

“Wait! Wake up?” Twilight asked.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about Twilight, but let me show you which path to take.” Nikko Pinkie continued, avoiding the question. After looking at all four paths she point to the one that when straight ahead instead of the path on the left or right. “That’s the correct one” Nikko Pinkie finished before she turned and started to bounce back toward the corn fields.

“Wait, Pinkie, how’d you know which path is the correct one?” Twilight asked.

“Well that’s simple.” Nikko Pinkie replied as she took a big breath before continuing, “You see, if you had gone left, you would hit the wall of the set and not be able to go any further, and had you gone right, you would have walked off stage and hit a camera pony, so you kind of had to go straight forward, cause you will turn on the path before you hit the stage wall thus allowing your journey to continue.” Nikko Pinkie concluded.

Twilight and Scarecrow just stood there both as confused as the other. Though Spike was just as lost, he seemed slightly amused by Pinkie’s approach.

“Well, that’s all I can do now, so I’ll see you all later, you know, we should have a party when you come visit me in the Witch’s castle in scene 24.” Pinkie said as she turned and took off into the air going over party preparations in her head as she flew away, Twilight swore she heard mention of a water pail in Nikko Pinkie’s ramblings though what that meant she wasn’t sure.

“Well that was odd.” Twilight said,

“You don’t say” Scarecrow answered.

“Well it is Pinkie being Pinkie, I say we trust her” Spike stated.

“Yeah she hasn’t steered us in the wrong direction yet, and it’s not like we can’t turn around if she's wrong, though I get the suspicious feeling that this is the right way because I do sense a strong magical presence in the distance that way it may be the Emerald City.” Twilight said as she looked down the chosen path.

“Well let’s get going then. I’m not going to get my brain just sitting around.” Scarecrow stated as she started to head down the path.

The group took one last look around and started heading down the path. As they rounded the first bend Twilight saw that the path was leading them to a forest in the distance. She began to wonder what other oddities resided in the land and she suspected she would encounter a few in that forest shortly.

To Be Continued

Author's Note:

Authors Note:

Yay! One more chapter done and if I had to break it down I would say we are almost halfway through the story, I’m expecting around 7 more chapters depending on how I break it down. If anypony was curious and/or using the film as a reference I’m about 40mins into the 100min movie at the conclusion of this chapter.

Comments

[Doublesims]

A couple of mistakes with quotation marks