Page generated in 0.037 seconds
Total duration
1,075 users online
2,607,473 hits today, 2,921,617 yesterday
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Hate all you want, but it is going to get worse for a few chapters. After the third Chrysalis encounter it gets better though.
Man, I don't understand what you're talking about...Anon got his ass whipped from chapter 00, would anyone care to explain with a little more detail? Much appreciated.
i was waiting for this all day... will you release another chapter tomorrow?
2139180
———We're done here.
2144297 It looked like things were looking up for him after a while but then gilda left and he got branded in a sex dungeon.
keep up the good work
Oh it better be good, because I can only take up so much sympathy for a former can throwing guard.
Dear god this anon has got some SERRIOUS problems, problems that an alien king by the name of Lazaro Sol wouldn't mind fixing. But I haven't got the time.
2144394 I don't think I could stand much more of it
#1 muscle memory, his musxles would still be toned and he would still be able to fight
#2 this story is getting more bullshitty as it goes on
#3 im not sure if i want to continue reading this
2144704 Muscle Memory? I don't even know what that is? I'm not a professional writer, I'm just a dude writing that shit in his spare time.
Cut me some slack people, I'm no saint.
Poor guy... For literally as long as he can remember he's been put through a ton of punishment. Sooner or later he's going to snap.
Most people by now would have gone on a suicidal rampage. Or would have flat out commited suicide.
2145009 even tho he doesnt remember what to do, certain feelings will trigger past reflexes like bieng snuck up on from behind. Also he would be a lot stronger than what you are saying... he would still be tough and not be pushed around so easily, the only way for that to happen is when twilight did the memory spell she also took away muscle mass
2144297
I think some people might be having negative opinions on the stories progress because hes just being a coward and not even remotely trying to fight back until this chapter really. It was understandable in the beginning because he felt guilty over what he did that he took his lumps like a man. later chapters there were hints of his previous personality there but disappeared with his inactivity over the ponies unwanted advances on him and everyone is kinda looking for the resurgence of the badass that he was before, but not necessarily an evil one. At least that's what I think is going on.
as for hi's comments, muscle memory is consolidating a specific motor task into memory through repetition* so when something happens the muscles move automatically an without the need for thought. I think hes also hinting to the fact that his physically fit and should be able to do some damage when attacking.
*as taken from wikipedia
Okay so...other then pinkie pie, it doesn't at all seem like anything has really gone on in the story to deserve a romance title It has its good parts but really, so much shit keeps happening to Anon and making his life worse that I am wondering if the Romance should be removed and if anything good will ever happen the the guy!
2145396 i know i would have
Griffons. I hate them. They cost to much mana to summon, they eat all your food, and they think they're all hot shit. This is what I learned in the academy.
GRIFFONS
" extremely dangerous approach with caution"
Danger level: 6 lethality level:4
When in combat use plasmatic and ballistic weaponry.
If you must engage in melee use CQHC (close quarters hoof combat)
Or a fully charged haf-atchet
Note from Dr. Awesome:
"Griffons are a very feral race, luckily there brain activity is very simple and easy to manipulate
as well as.... destructible. Griffons also have an a knack for getting into fights, I should know, I fought one,
unfortunately he could get within forty paces of me."
Well at least he managed to get back with Gilda and they seem to be getting some love back. It's just now he has to deal with the other Griffons making his life worse.
2144297
Like Zeph said, most people want him to be able to fight again and stand up but in all seriousness, with the loss of his skills and being able to fight, I imagine you (or whoever greentext this story first) have more than enough justified reasons that he is now an average person and an average human being cannot stand up to real cartoon characters with all their strength. Even though he managed to kill two diamond dogs a couple of chapters back.
i'd be contemplating suicide by now.
TBH he is not a doormat anymore, He is like mud!
2145859 Which part? The killing or the suicide? I would have just snuffed out both Applejack and Fluttershy than ran until I dropped. Than I would run until I hit a ocean or whatever that planet has.
2147262
ze murderin' i know i wouldnt stand achance but still
he is so fucking pathetic why you made him so strong in the begining bring EVIL ANON BACK at least he dosent look like a pussy he dosent even try to get stronger im so close to unwatching
you know what you should send in a crazy motherfucker like me to make that bitch grow some balls.
Give him a weapon. A .50 caliber desert eagle shoud be enough.
He needs to learn something about trust. You give it when you gain it!!! Mofo needs to carry a kitchen knife around.
Okay, seeing the dismay that the last few chapters caused, I reformatted with the speed of light to now present you THREE chapters. The thought behind that is that he gets treated even worse in the first two, but somewhat mans the fuck up in the third, so you are not stuck with a pushover Anon, a dormat Anon or a 'mud' Anon (FYI: I'm rolling my eyes over here).
And for any further questions about 'muscle memory' and such things I'll tell you the background of Anon's appearance in Equestria (I planned to implement that in some of the final, unwritten chapters, so don't read further if you don't want to see spoilers, they are not THAT important though so you won't break a leg over the story if you do...)
The thought I had behind Anon's appearance, you all probably guessed that by now, is that he arrives in a variant of the Combine Citadel. Seeing that they use weird portal technology that makes kinda sense to me. He was a rougue Metro Cop (inspired by Barney Calhoun) who wanted to take down the Citadel of his city (City 01, as on his armband stood “c01:i4”). Instead of blowing it up like Gordon Freeman he had to teleport it to a random dimension (Equestria in this case) to get it away from his home, family and friends. His comrades evacuated as he had to stay behind, and in an act of martyrdom, and got teleported with it because someone had to do it. But he ended up indoctrinated when he arrived. The three arms he woke up under were a Combine Memory replacement device, see picture
i50.tinypic.com/2ywcs5g.jpg
What little knowledge of fighting he had got overwritten by Combine orders and training and THAT got erased by Twilight Sparkle as she found the command console of the Citadel.
His pistol and the Citadel core didn't work anymore because of the slightly changed natural laws in this dimension (which also is responsible for magic and is the reason for why the Combine don't invade this seemingly lucrative world).
Also the Combine don't get extended martial arts training uploaded to their brains, I've never seen a Combine Ninja in Half-Life (They were planned, but were supposed to be all female) so there is no chance for any muscle memory except for pulling a trigger or maybe taking cover when getting shot at.
Hope that solves some misunderstandings and questions.
Sincerely, your Superstition.
2151195
You know, the only problem I have with the story is the ever-so-quaint way Anon gets repeatedly abused and mistreated... and yet seemingly acts as if it's not of much consequence soon after. You've continually victimized Anon, but you don't write him as if he were traumatized.
And before you try to say something like "but I have written him that way, I don't understand... ":
No. While I can see that you've at least tried to make him seem as though he's suffering effects of abuse... to be perfectly honest? You've arguably done an almost adequate portrayal at most, but I personally find your characterization of Anonymous to be quite inadequate for the type of story you're writing. The level of mental instability he's developed up to this point is highly disproportionate in comparison to the amount of unwarranted, undeserved trauma he's undergone, especially by those he was willingly trusting and kind to.
Oh yeah, so he avoids Applejack, Rainbow Dash, and Fluttershy now, and claims to hate them — oh wow, that's a big deal, because that certainly is not the type of behavior that is natural when we've undergone far, far, far less traumatic experiences such as when a heated argument ends on bad terms. No, such a meager response to something as drastic as repeated non-consent sexual violations (AKA, rape) is not enough to justify the claim that Anon has been accurately portrayed as "properly traumatized."
In all honesty, by now Anon should already have begun to consistently demonstrate paranoid, distrustful, antisocial, nervous, irrational, delusional, delirious, psychotic, depressed, self-derisive, and twisted mentality and behavior at least most of the time. Basically, he should have stated going legitimately clinically insane by now. He should not still be able to slip into the "everyday pseudo-normal Anon" that he was earlier in the story, and you have written him to be a character who seems to merely become a "total wimp" for a scene before acting like it isn't that big a deal, rather than a person being "traumatized" by the horrible things happening to him. That's right — Anon doesn't feel like he's human. In fact, he often feels less "human" than many of the inhuman characters. Even if he was trying to deny the trauma and pretend everything was alright and that it all wasn't a big deal, he would still have an obviously "Broken Smile"-type mental distortion.
"Well Anon's just made of sterner stuff than us so he can handle this kind of thing like a boss; he was a badass rogue Metro Cop rebel martyr after all! "
No. This kind of explanation would be completely inadequate and inconsistent.
To quote your own earlier statement:
Any and all memories that would have made him "tougher" in regards to handling traumatic experiences? Erased by Twilight Sparkle, according to your own statement — so it's the canon for your story as of right now. Since his memories were erased, he effectively became an innocent. After all, no one is born made of "sterner stuff than most"; everyone is born just as innocent-minded, and it is gradual experience of hardships that toughens the mind to traumatic events — and the continual, sudden traumas of the sorts he's endured in Equestria? No, those would leave deep, festering wounds on his mind that would warp his mentality and make him start to go crazy. Yet he doesn't show many signs of this kind of instability
My suggestion would be to make him actually suffer the instabilities, distortions, and damages to his mentality and personality that would come about due to all the betrayal, rape, abuse, and trauma he's endured thus far. Victims can't just shrug off torturous experiences without becoming mentally unstable. You have not written a believable character. The repeated lack of believable mentality in the character "Anon" shatters my suspension of disbelief, and I think many of your other readers may agree with me. While a large number of them want to see him fight back and defend himself effectively, I think, were Anon least responding to the traumatic events in believable ways (i.e., actually being traumatized by them), a good many of them would begrudgingly accept that even if they wanted him to fight back... since it makes sense for him to be mentally scarred by such things.
I'll continue watching the story to see if you improve these issues in the future, but for now giving you a thumbs down for your unrealistic characterization of Anonymous. Do more research into the effects of repeated traumatic events and abuse on the human mind next time.
When will anon get crasy??
PS: im have bad grammar
How my friends see Lyndwin
"HA!!!! GAAAY!!!!!!"
How I see Lyndwin
"Uh..... okay? I guess it's pretty weird... no, scratch that... I am creeped the f*ck out...""
These are the actual reactions we had.