• Member Since 25th Jan, 2013
  • offline last seen Mar 16th, 2023

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Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

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It's been 15 years since the Crystal Empire incident. Shining Armor, now known as Macel, was sent to a very distant land for very important duties. 7 years after the Crystal incident, Cadence died. That day, Shining Armor lost something inside of him, something that can never be remade. When Princess Celestia brings Twilight to that land to view the important duty, will she still remember her B.B.B.F.F?

Chapters (5)
Comments ( 18 )
Comment posted by Lelouch Vi Britania deleted Jan 31st, 2013

"vanished every since Twilie"
ever, not every

"she always get's me and"
No need to the apostrophe

"and conserver energy,"
conserve or conserve your, not conserver.

Great first chapter, now on to the second.

" body shovered when I thought "
Shuddered, not shovered.

" wimp, manly tears"
Pretty sure that comma should be a semicolon, and I would personally put many manly tears, just for the alliteration.

"effect, since I had was grass."
Not sure if it's proper grammar to use since like how you did, but I'm 100% sure "because" would work there. also, "all I had was grass." need the word "all" there.

"Long time no see?"
Comma after the word "time".

"well atleast now I know it "
At least is two words.

"You may also refer to me as
First to Funeral
BronySheeva"

Not sure if dude who thought the name Sheeva was cool, made up that name, or Hindu who spelled Shiva incorrectly...yes, if you're wondering, I'm Indian, that's how I know.

"and the blackened grass of where"
I think what you're trying to say is correct, but to make it more clear, I'd suggest putting "blackened area of grass".

"Life isn't fair"
IKR! Now if only it could be unfair in our favor...

"them are the terriost's'.""
Either terrorists' for plural possession (when there is more than one terrorist) or terrorist's for singular possession (only one terrorist).

Oh man, third chapter done...can't wait for an update dude! :heart:

You didn't want to be racist, I didn't know it could be used like that. Who knew? Brohoof for human error! /) well, that, and I've never played Halo in my life, so yeah...

2050823
Hmmzz.
I was working on the sequal.
I messed up.
I raged.
I deleted the sequal.
lol.

2323832
:| you must re write!!!!

2323986
I'm currently working on a Haylo: Equestria story.
I'll rewrite after I finish it.

Predicted Finish Date: 4/15/13

Sorry!

2324050
As long as sequel is written…

2324399
Acutally, since it's spring break and the rate I'm working at, I might be able to finish earlier, by like a week or something.
I'm already like, 1/5 the way through.

2324415
GAAAH! What's up with all these people getting Spring Break a fees after me? I wish I had my break right now…could've skipped out on half of Friday for that trip, and other stuff… lucky…

2327060
My Spring Break is a week before yours.

2329126
nope, bad for me. I wish I had your SB times...

2329745
My SB is only 2 days.
Still wish you had it?
Its already over.

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