OH JOY, That was quite the enjoyable chapter! I chuckled a bit when Matt was helping with Ever Ring at the bank, and was surprised that Jeff is in fact, a Gentleman and didn't reveal this fact to Matt. I say, you have made quite the connection indeed with the Gentleman universe, good job mate. :Two Thumps Up:
Also, the drama in this story is excellent, very big and juicy! Like at the introduction before the 2nd chapter where Matt, unknowingly made a wrong impression to Raven and didn't have the chance to explain about how Matt thought she was Becky while intoxicated, all in the while she thinks that Matt didn't truly like her since she was a pony (to which is true to an extent but was entirely a mistake and wasn't deliberate). I like it how when he talked with Rebecca that you made the character an insensitive character when he recalled the situation, and as well as revealed that Raven and Giselle are in fact best buds... talk about creating a positive, happy work environment for our poor old Matt huh? Interesting too that when given the opportunity to party again and drink to forget his troubles (yet anyways), which would mostly repeat in making the same problem, that he refuses as he learn from his mistake and won't likely party again anytime soon...
And finally, the confrontation with Giselle is really satisfying as how not only Giselle is trying Matt's head off, so Matt is trying to do the same as he is trying his best to control his rage and emotions. And to add it even more, it appeared that Raven had recently suffered a break-up from a relationship and is a state of more shock and sadness since her her night with Matt. To finish it off, in addition of Giselle using such language that made you think only humans would speak off, had ended the conversation with her getting Matt burst into flames as opposed to her. This made me wonder how well the pony language had integrated with that of humans, and as well as to why Raven would want to have sex with Matt from the first day they Matt (well actually I do but Im going to say it anyways).
Overall, very excellent chapter my man. Not only you succeeded in creating such a dramatic environment for the main character, you had also made him a grey character with him acting out like an actual fleshed-out person would that would be perceived as an asshole and insensitive at times. You my friend, have done a feat that no writer would have done to their main character in their stories, more so when that character is a human, and executed a well-structured character that have their flaws that not everyone is supposed to like and as well as creating the perfect environment for him to interact in. Your story really does have a great potential for what you have done in this chapter, and I shall be looking forward to see what you do from here for I am sure that I can be one of the best fanfics I have seen to date, as no story has create such level of Drama that you have created thus far in the MLP fan-friction universe (well none that I can recall anyways).
ever ring's scene made me think of a shark fin poking out of water near our poor main character who in this instance is a surfer who just cut himself, may never escalate to that but I'm a still think it. this will be interesting....but I love every moment of it
Personally, I'd have told Giselle/Becky to go fuck themselves.
He was encouraged to have something that fucked with his head badly enough that he thought he was fucking a human, causing him to do something he'd never, ever, do. Upon learning he had sex with a pony, he's understandably emotionally distraught, and repulsed, by the act.
But apparently his feelings don't matter to them, and certainly he can't be a victim in the issue either.
So they drug him and manipulate him into sleeping with someone/ something and he is the monster for freaking out? If you switched the situation so that the human was a woman this would be some kind of horror story... I feel really bad for the guy that he's surrounded by hippocrates/ sociopaths
I do hope he can iron things out with Raven since getting rejected like that had to hurt but I also hope he guts Giselle like a fish.
While everyone else is having drama over the drama, I'm by myself wondering... how does the Equestrian side of the computer network communicate with the Earth side? If the dimensional warp is as weird as it seems to people jumping through it, wouldn't that really screw up painfully exacting digital signals? Laser, microwave, radio, even POTS would be all wibbly-wobbily. Either shot through on a carrier wave or someone strung a hundred feet of cat6 through the portal.
Then again, this probably has nothing to do with the story so before I'm told to shut up about it. I'll shut up now.
2002688 I'm looking forward to that. I'll be honest, even I was surprised at just how angry this chapter made me. When I was reading the bit with him talking to the human girl I was disbelieving and angry. When I read the part with him and Giselle I was...well
So I'm really hoping to see at least some of these ass holes put in their place about the callous way they treating our protagonist.
I've basically come to hate all the women in this fiction, and I find it strange that the banker trusts this strange mystery drug dealer at all.
Perhaps it's because Ive lived a shielded life from that horror story that people call the 'Bro Life', but I honestly can not understand why anyone in this fiction interacted with each other the way that they did. The part where the banker specifically thinks to himself "I don't need this high school bullshit" and then promptly falls into a metric shit storm of the worst kind of high school drama possible was most baffling to me. Call me boring, but if some lady that I barely known for a day calls me a shithead over an event that happened because of some mystery drug dealer which didn't even directly involve her, I'd either sternly ask that she leave me alone or flat out ignore her existence.
Furthermore, even after working in a bar/kitchen for over three years now dealing with some crazy busy stress and dealing with drunks, not once have I seen drama on this scale with my fellow employees. In all my dealings with bankers I've seen them to be the very model of professional interpersonal communications both on and off the job. Do equestrian banks have much lower standards for their employees?
2012741 All of these comments have me convinced I'm just that bad at character design. Reading through it again, it does seem pretty ridiculous, huh? Maybe I should write scripts for reality shows, or something.
Although when it comes to "high school drama" I'm thankful it hasn't happened to me personally, but I do work at a place where my fellow "adults", while not to the extreme as in this fic, do confront and talk behind each others backs and such. Though never in front of customers. I really need to get a better job. A lot of the personalities of the characters are based off of friends, family friends, and people I know from a previous college I went to before I transferred out: they're engineers, business majors, a chem major, as well as a couple of bank tellers (they have dealt with serious "drama" as well) and there's a little bit of myself sprinkled about here and there because I was that dumb up until a year and a half ago when I started getting my shite together.
Some people actually don't ever "leave" high school.
Nonetheless there are still follow ups due for Giselle and Becky. Sunbeam makes an appearance and hopefully that'll show I'm not a misogynist.
Answer: Equestria doesn't have computers... unless typewriter pony set this in a more advanced timeline than mines. They specifically hired humans to help them develop their tech, and so far, they made a successful fridge that runs on the Equestrian type of energy, and making phones as well.
2005704>>2018402 The bank has self-sufficient, solar-powered computers (at great cost as explained in chap 1) but they don't communicate with Earth, rather it's more-or-less an electronic database that must be manually updated on a weekly basis with accounts on Earth (and vice versa). Since no one's gotten around to making a business out of it just yet, at the moment that's what Sam and Lucky do (sort-of spoilers but not really): they're more or less bank delivery boys. There's no ATMs and thus tellers/account specialists/managers have to physically input info onto the branch database for all actions. Since the infrastructure is so limited, Equestrian-side banks do not have multiple branches and so people/ponies either have accounts at different banks in different cities (and get appreciation), stick to the bank closest to them (and get appreciation) or keep their money at home/with them (zero appreciation).
Okay, I guess that makes sense why they'd hire humans for that bank. Still... that's pretty tiring. Even with computers, bank close early for accounting.
Frankly, I`d expect him to be furious at Rebecca, Giselle and Raven. Something like this.
"Yeah. There is." The pony said in a more even tone. With a measured gait Giselle walked closer to me until there was just a few feet between us. "I want you to apologize to Raven." She said after a moment of contemplation.
"Alright." I nodded and agreed. Now there was just the matter of finding out where Raven liv-...
"I want you to grovel over how sorry you are that you took advantage of her."
At that moment, I finally blew my top. "Took advantage, you say? Funny, because from my place over here, that`s exactly what happened to me! Let`s recap a little, shall we? So here I am, a new guy, who knows of whats and hows of ponies from booklets and cultural seminars at work. On the first day of my work, I get invited to club and treated to a mix of alcohol and magical pony aphrodisiacs that I didn`t even knew about, much less prepared for effects. Then, while I`m mentally knocked down to the level of horny neanderthal, Rebecca starts flirting with me, knowing full well I have no chance in hell to do anything but fall for it... And pulls a switcheroo for Raven sometime when you all are ironclad-sure I`m not able to mount a coherent objection. If you don`t mind me saying so, this is about as close to date rape as it gets... which is bloody funny, because I didn`t think I`d ever get raped, let alone by pony. Want to talk about apologies, Giselle? Then how about you and Rebecca apologize to everyone first!?"
I had to pause to take in a breath of air. Somewhere during my rant, Giselle`s facial expression changed from indignant to horrified. I knew she would try to say something... So I cut her off. "And yet, dear, somehow I`m trying to keep things civil here. Trying to work things out like an adult, regardless of how unpleasant my situation really is. So, can you do me a teeny-tinsy favor and own up to your faults in this whole debacle? While I can find it in myself to forgive Raven, I`d want some serious groveling from you and Rebecca both to consider yourselves off MY shitlist." She turned around and run away wordlessly. Apparently, my words cut to the quick... good.
2082430 Ya I really can't say any more than what you did already. Only difference was that I would have went off on Rebecca first since she was the flirt that set this whole thing up. You don't call me Becky anymore you lost that privilege. I would have been nice about it and .... ok no I wouldn't but I would just inform her that she was lucky that I didn't label her Mud at that point.
It also pissed me off when Becky(mud) said that she wasn't easy .... sooo what are you trying to say about your friend Raven? I mean really? Why is it that guys are always the bad guys no matter the situation? I'm not sexist but damn!
2082430>>2216485 I have to agree with this sentiment. No matter how I look at it, the guy was drugged and taken for a ride. Then, all of a sudden, he's the asshole for not knowing his limits? What in the actual fuck?
Wth, Beck blows up on matt at the onset of that talk about him presuming that Raven was her and admits to scheming about setting him up as a lay for somepony who doesn't even live there.
Man, you wrote a bunch of regular winners there man, wow.
I didn't like it, left a foul taste in my mouth reading it...I kinda figure this is just the bump before things look up though.
"For being an insensitive asshole?" She rhetorically asked,
Yeahokaywhatever, whether they realize it or not they could veritably be brought up on charges for rape if Matt so wished...not the thing I expected or wanted to read about. Get enough of that crap at my day job...
Just started to read this fic. I'm enjoying it so far, but I do agree with the the comments about how...wrong it seems that Matt is getting all of the blame here. Is it normal for everyone to just assume that a new guy from Earth would have sex with ponies with no issues at all? Heck, it didn't even matter that Raven was a pony... They essentially drugged him by not telling him about the potency of the drink. He might not be someone who can handle alcohol very well. If Raven and the others remained sober, they are rapists at this point.
That being said, I can't wait to read the rest of the fic. I wonder how things are going to work out.
This is nice. Drama and everything.
Hm.
Next chapter. Nao.
OH JOY, That was quite the enjoyable chapter! I chuckled a bit when Matt was helping with Ever Ring at the bank, and was surprised that Jeff is in fact, a Gentleman and didn't reveal this fact to Matt. I say, you have made quite the connection indeed with the Gentleman universe, good job mate. :Two Thumps Up:
Also, the drama in this story is excellent, very big and juicy! Like at the introduction before the 2nd chapter where Matt, unknowingly made a wrong impression to Raven and didn't have the chance to explain about how Matt thought she was Becky while intoxicated, all in the while she thinks that Matt didn't truly like her since she was a pony (to which is true to an extent but was entirely a mistake and wasn't deliberate). I like it how when he talked with Rebecca that you made the character an insensitive character when he recalled the situation, and as well as revealed that Raven and Giselle are in fact best buds... talk about creating a positive, happy work environment for our poor old Matt huh? Interesting too that when given the opportunity to party again and drink to forget his troubles (yet anyways), which would mostly repeat in making the same problem, that he refuses as he learn from his mistake and won't likely party again anytime soon...
And finally, the confrontation with Giselle is really satisfying as how not only Giselle is trying Matt's head off, so Matt is trying to do the same as he is trying his best to control his rage and emotions. And to add it even more, it appeared that Raven had recently suffered a break-up from a relationship and is a state of more shock and sadness since her her night with Matt. To finish it off, in addition of Giselle using such language that made you think only humans would speak off, had ended the conversation with her getting Matt burst into flames as opposed to her. This made me wonder how well the pony language had integrated with that of humans, and as well as to why Raven would want to have sex with Matt from the first day they Matt (well actually I do but Im going to say it anyways).
Overall, very excellent chapter my man. Not only you succeeded in creating such a dramatic environment for the main character, you had also made him a grey character with him acting out like an actual fleshed-out person would that would be perceived as an asshole and insensitive at times. You my friend, have done a feat that no writer would have done to their main character in their stories, more so when that character is a human, and executed a well-structured character that have their flaws that not everyone is supposed to like and as well as creating the perfect environment for him to interact in. Your story really does have a great potential for what you have done in this chapter, and I shall be looking forward to see what you do from here for I am sure that I can be one of the best fanfics I have seen to date, as no story has create such level of Drama that you have created thus far in the MLP fan-friction universe (well none that I can recall anyways).
Keep the great work mate!
~Best regards
Rick James bitch
Hmm, the drama, it intrigues me. Glad to see more love for the Gentlemanverse.
ever ring's scene made me think of a shark fin poking out of water near our poor main character who in this instance is a surfer who just cut himself, may never escalate to that but I'm a still think it.
this will be interesting....but I love every moment of it
Personally, I'd have told Giselle/Becky to go fuck themselves.
He was encouraged to have something that fucked with his head badly enough that he thought he was fucking a human, causing him to do something he'd never, ever, do. Upon learning he had sex with a pony, he's understandably emotionally distraught, and repulsed, by the act.
But apparently his feelings don't matter to them, and certainly he can't be a victim in the issue either.
Can you repeat the question?
That is all.
-Sturrn
So they drug him and manipulate him into sleeping with someone/ something and he is the monster for freaking out? If you switched the situation so that the human was a woman this would be some kind of horror story... I feel really bad for the guy that he's surrounded by hippocrates/ sociopaths
I do hope he can iron things out with Raven since getting rejected like that had to hurt but I also hope he guts Giselle like a fish.
2002006>>2002655
Funny how y'all are pointing this out. Next chap is up to the brim in brolosophizing. Maybe we'll learn a little bit more about ourselves?
Actually, no. We probably won't.
While everyone else is having drama over the drama, I'm by myself wondering... how does the Equestrian side of the computer network communicate with the Earth side?
If the dimensional warp is as weird as it seems to people jumping through it, wouldn't that really screw up painfully exacting digital signals? Laser, microwave, radio, even POTS would be all wibbly-wobbily. Either shot through on a carrier wave or someone strung a hundred feet of cat6 through the portal.
Then again, this probably has nothing to do with the story so before I'm told to shut up about it. I'll shut up now.
2002688 I'm looking forward to that. I'll be honest, even I was surprised at just how angry this chapter made me. When I was reading the bit with him talking to the human girl I was disbelieving and angry. When I read the part with him and Giselle I was...well
So I'm really hoping to see at least some of these ass holes put in their place about the callous way they treating our protagonist.
God its like High School... I am also starting to hate main character, everyone knows if you wake up with her you can't flip shit till she is gone.
I've basically come to hate all the women in this fiction, and I find it strange that the banker trusts this strange mystery drug dealer at all.
Perhaps it's because Ive lived a shielded life from that horror story that people call the 'Bro Life', but I honestly can not understand why anyone in this fiction interacted with each other the way that they did. The part where the banker specifically thinks to himself "I don't need this high school bullshit" and then promptly falls into a metric shit storm of the worst kind of high school drama possible was most baffling to me. Call me boring, but if some lady that I barely known for a day calls me a shithead over an event that happened because of some mystery drug dealer which didn't even directly involve her, I'd either sternly ask that she leave me alone or flat out ignore her existence.
Furthermore, even after working in a bar/kitchen for over three years now dealing with some crazy busy stress and dealing with drunks, not once have I seen drama on this scale with my fellow employees. In all my dealings with bankers I've seen them to be the very model of professional interpersonal communications both on and off the job. Do equestrian banks have much lower standards for their employees?
2012741
All of these comments have me convinced I'm just that bad at character design. Reading through it again, it does seem pretty ridiculous, huh? Maybe I should write scripts for reality shows, or something.
Although when it comes to "high school drama" I'm thankful it hasn't happened to me personally, but I do work at a place where my fellow "adults", while not to the extreme as in this fic, do confront and talk behind each others backs and such. Though never in front of customers. I really need to get a better job. A lot of the personalities of the characters are based off of friends, family friends, and people I know from a previous college I went to before I transferred out: they're engineers, business majors, a chem major, as well as a couple of bank tellers (they have dealt with serious "drama" as well) and there's a little bit of myself sprinkled about here and there because I was that dumb up until a year and a half ago when I started getting my shite together.
Some people actually don't ever "leave" high school.
Nonetheless there are still follow ups due for Giselle and Becky. Sunbeam makes an appearance and hopefully that'll show I'm not a misogynist.
2005704
Answer: Equestria doesn't have computers... unless typewriter pony set this in a more advanced timeline than mines. They specifically hired humans to help them develop their tech, and so far, they made a successful fridge that runs on the Equestrian type of energy, and making phones as well.
2005704>>2018402
The bank has self-sufficient, solar-powered computers (at great cost as explained in chap 1) but they don't communicate with Earth, rather it's more-or-less an electronic database that must be manually updated on a weekly basis with accounts on Earth (and vice versa). Since no one's gotten around to making a business out of it just yet, at the moment that's what Sam and Lucky do (sort-of spoilers but not really): they're more or less bank delivery boys. There's no ATMs and thus tellers/account specialists/managers have to physically input info onto the branch database for all actions. Since the infrastructure is so limited, Equestrian-side banks do not have multiple branches and so people/ponies either have accounts at different banks in different cities (and get appreciation), stick to the bank closest to them (and get appreciation) or keep their money at home/with them (zero appreciation).
2018868
Okay, I guess that makes sense why they'd hire humans for that bank. Still... that's pretty tiring. Even with computers, bank close early for accounting.
Really the only one I give a damn about on a personal level is Raven. Waiting for the next chapter eagerly
I`m puzzled at protagonist`s reaction.
Frankly, I`d expect him to be furious at Rebecca, Giselle and Raven. Something like this.
"Yeah. There is." The pony said in a more even tone. With a measured gait Giselle walked closer to me until there was just a few feet between us. "I want you to apologize to Raven." She said after a moment of contemplation.
"Alright." I nodded and agreed. Now there was just the matter of finding out where Raven liv-...
"I want you to grovel over how sorry you are that you took advantage of her."
At that moment, I finally blew my top. "Took advantage, you say? Funny, because from my place over here, that`s exactly what happened to me! Let`s recap a little, shall we? So here I am, a new guy, who knows of whats and hows of ponies from booklets and cultural seminars at work. On the first day of my work, I get invited to club and treated to a mix of alcohol and magical pony aphrodisiacs that I didn`t even knew about, much less prepared for effects. Then, while I`m mentally knocked down to the level of horny neanderthal, Rebecca starts flirting with me, knowing full well I have no chance in hell to do anything but fall for it... And pulls a switcheroo for Raven sometime when you all are ironclad-sure I`m not able to mount a coherent objection. If you don`t mind me saying so, this is about as close to date rape as it gets... which is bloody funny, because I didn`t think I`d ever get raped, let alone by pony. Want to talk about apologies, Giselle? Then how about you and Rebecca apologize to everyone first!?"
I had to pause to take in a breath of air. Somewhere during my rant, Giselle`s facial expression changed from indignant to horrified. I knew she would try to say something... So I cut her off. "And yet, dear, somehow I`m trying to keep things civil here. Trying to work things out like an adult, regardless of how unpleasant my situation really is. So, can you do me a teeny-tinsy favor and own up to your faults in this whole debacle? While I can find it in myself to forgive Raven, I`d want some serious groveling from you and Rebecca both to consider yourselves off MY shitlist." She turned around and run away wordlessly. Apparently, my words cut to the quick... good.
2082430 Ya I really can't say any more than what you did already. Only difference was that I would have went off on Rebecca first since she was the flirt that set this whole thing up. You don't call me Becky anymore you lost that privilege. I would have been nice about it and .... ok no I wouldn't but I would just inform her that she was lucky that I didn't label her Mud at that point.
It also pissed me off when Becky(mud) said that she wasn't easy .... sooo what are you trying to say about your friend Raven? I mean really? Why is it that guys are always the bad guys no matter the situation? I'm not sexist but damn!
2082430>>2216485
I have to agree with this sentiment. No matter how I look at it, the guy was drugged and taken for a ride. Then, all of a sudden, he's the asshole for not knowing his limits? What in the actual fuck?
2010343>>2082430 THIS!
2255098 2241937>>2216485>>2082430 2013233
One more thing.....how the fuck is it posible to get Raven knocked up, and even get blame for it. What happened with the "Another Species Thing"
Wth, Beck blows up on matt at the onset of that talk about him presuming that Raven was her and admits to scheming about setting him up as a lay for somepony who doesn't even live there.
Man, you wrote a bunch of regular winners there man, wow.
I didn't like it, left a foul taste in my mouth reading it...I kinda figure this is just the bump before things look up though.
"For being an insensitive asshole?" She rhetorically asked,
Yeahokaywhatever, whether they realize it or not they could veritably be brought up on charges for rape if Matt so wished...not the thing I expected or wanted to read about. Get enough of that crap at my day job...
.....Wut?
RAAAAAAAAGEEEEE!
THE FUCK HAPPEN HERE?!
How is the guy blamed for all of this?!?!
You need an editor? Cuz I could use something to do in my spare time.
2082430 Shame on you for not having written this, author. Matt was taken along, he's not guilty of a single damn thing in this clusterfuck.
Just started to read this fic. I'm enjoying it so far, but I do agree with the the comments about how...wrong it seems that Matt is getting all of the blame here. Is it normal for everyone to just assume that a new guy from Earth would have sex with ponies with no issues at all? Heck, it didn't even matter that Raven was a pony... They essentially drugged him by not telling him about the potency of the drink. He might not be someone who can handle alcohol very well. If Raven and the others remained sober, they are rapists at this point.
That being said, I can't wait to read the rest of the fic. I wonder how things are going to work out.