Hm, my mind took a pleasant ride :D
that was very thought out!

Plus one internets and a moustache. Sam seems like a real lad-about-town.

2082430
You're giving Matt an awful lot of power over Giselle's personality (given that you're only aiming to change his for your example) just because you didn't like how he reacted. In fact, keeping her own character intact, should he have acted that way, would've lead to a broken nose for him, at worst.

It's also interesting how mature and up front you made him (and how several other readers wished he was) and took note at what he should've done rather than gleaned who Matt is from what he did do in that situation.

Matt is as tough as a stick

Interesting Side-chapter, good to see some a side-plot of sorts while the main story focuses on Matt and his life on Equestria. For someone like Sam, I wonder if he had gotten some inside-information from Jef or he is a Gentleman himself, as he can know when his equestrian lover is in Heat or not. Either way, even thought the chapter points out how these two characters get together, I was hoping it'll mention how Sunbeam fought Lucky for Sam to win the "right" to date his sister.

Good chapter nonetheless, good work man

2084226
Indeed, let the reaction come from Matt The Human, not Matt The Frictional Human. Most HiE would have flaws with allowing their human characters act all out with a sense of self-righteousness (justified or not), and not give any defining and realistic flaw that we can relate too as if they fear that fans will their character an asshole and not 'realistic' should the readers themselves were placed in the situation....Which I would say its a pretty damn stupid view of the statement as you virtually would make the human a "Mary-sue" of conversation, morality importance (like whats good and bad), and always comes out on top.

Honestly this is way I love your story so far, your character is intentionally an asshole at times and he doesn't know the best words to use in a conversation (as all common joes should), which makes him more relatable of a human character who also have redeeming qualities of his personality. Your character is flawed as how he is not too important in the eyes of other and yet you can come up with situations and dialogue to make things interesting.

I should also mention that you give the character diversity and have different views on the subject as how not everyone can agree on the same thing nor do the same thing. Which is nice to say the least.

I give 2 thumps up once more as how most HiE writers wouldn't dare give realistic flaws to their human characters which helps makes him more third-dimensional and real.

I agree with most of the statements made, those girls really really screwed up. It only makes it worse that they are mad at him for not going along with it. They really did not think that one through. I would not be nearly as calm as Matt was.

2117140
But reading of your anger makes me feel alive.

2118089
In a less trollish manner, what I mean is that your (and some of the other readers') critical review of what I've written has driven me to be more mindful of where I'm going with this story. In fact, I have increased what I originally planned by about 2-3 chaps so the word count per chapter isn't overbearing (at least for me).

Thank you.

Type, why?
Why, Type?

TYPE.

WHY?

2170032

2082430>>2216485>>2241937

Hence why it's taking me so long to come out with the next chap.

2244309

Maybe it would be prudent to amend the existing chapter - make the protagonist less slow-witted/insecure.

Or, potentially, just have the guy sit down somewhere in the park, mull things over and then get royally pissed that all the females took turns taking liberties with him.

Honestly speaking, I can`t see any way for protagonist NOT to get angry at Rebecca and Gizelle - he may have overlooked their regrettable contributions at first, but... their actions are rather transparent, and they make no attempt to somehow obscure what they`ve done. Frankly speaking, if I were in place of protagonist, I`d likely end up slapping Rebecca during the last conversation. She definitely deserves it.

2255114
I didn't see anything about her getting knocked up.

2244309
I'm willing to wait and see how it gets resolved. The best end as I see it involves Raven realizing why what they did was wrong and why Matt reacted the way he did. She mares the hell up and goes to apologize first and then cunt punts Giselle and Becky for treating Matt the way they did.

Fake edit (because I saw it in the post loco quoted):

Some people actually don't ever "leave" high school.

Couldn't have said it better myself.

2255114 Wait what? Where in the story does it say that she can get pregnant? I thought she couldn't because of her species?

2255277 I like your idea, didn't think of making Raven the supposed heroin.

2255277>>2255307

My eyebrows crease downwards instantly. "Excuse me, but I was dru-..." I'm stopped from putting a word in edgewise when she juts her hoof upwards at me.
"Yeah, excuse you. I don't give two shits if you were plastered that night, because it's not my fault that you don't know how to drink alcohol like a big boy. You're just lucky that she isn't knocked up or physically injured otherwise I'd have galloped all over town to find you and trampled your tiny dick into the ground as soon as Raven came to me yesterday morning even more shook up and pitiful-looking than when she caught her boyfriend cheating on her last week."

Here.

2257677 Oh, I think she was meaning if he was a stallion she would be pregnant. Doesn't mean that Raven can get pregnant by him.

2255114>>2257677
Wow that's some misleading wording. Never meant for that interpretation.

2257848
This

"Yeah, excuse you. I don't give two shits if you were plastered that night, because it's not my fault that you don't know how to drink alcohol like a big boy. You're just lucky that you can't get her knocked up or that she was physically injured, otherwise I'd have galloped all over town to find you and trampled your tiny dick into the ground as soon as Raven came to me yesterday morning even more shook up and pitiful-looking than when she caught her boyfriend cheating on her last week."

Edited.

2257848 maybe thats the case but from the outside it appears that in some part of Giselle's mind she believes he can acttualy hurt and/or impregnate Raven, even knowing ponies in this universe are stronger than the average human, and phisicaly imposible to get a mare pregnant.

2257888 Problably I take it in the wrong way, but from the outside it appears that in some part of Giselle's mind she believes he can acttualy hurt and/or impregnate Raven, even knowing ponies in this universe are stronger than the average human, and phisicaly imposible to get a mare pregnant.

Thanks for editing that part.

2257915
No. You read it wrong.

2257932 Okey.....

2257932 Still I would like to read some bitch slap for Giselle and Rebecca

2257888 Ok makes more sense.

Excellent job with this. I enjoyed this all far too late in the morning...

I have a lot of feelings similar to others here about the situation and Matt's (lack of appropriate) reaction to it, but if that's how his character is, then I'm really only frustrated at him and not you the author. ;)

Rebecca's attitude strikes me as pretty common. "Just because I'm having fun deliberately teasing you doesn't mean you have the right to expect anything from me" is pretty mich what she said, and she's right. But then, it's also a pretty oblique point to make when you're the kind of person who drugs someone you've never met before, sets him up to have sex with another species much less another human without their knowledge or consent, and then tries to justify their own actions with truths that have no real bearing on the outcome. Pretty damned shallow and selfish. Here's to hoping Matt doesn't bother trying to get on her good side, because there really doesn't seem to be one.

2271916

Well observed of course. It's very weak characterization...and I dont mean bad characterization, by that. I mean he wrote a weak character very well.

I don't like reading about these characters though... Sorry, not my cup of tea sir! Good luck and such.

2569565 Well, it is only one aspect, and in my book it's certainly forgivable – people IRL often respond to situations in illogical ways – but of course it's your right to disagree. For me the story overall is very entertaining and I'm still waiting on an update.

2569612

Oh no, I was agreeing with you. Then I just said what I thought about them and the story personally. I don't like it, it reminds me of all the date rape and familial abuse I have to deal with at work.

I feel as though the author want us to sympathize with Matt, which I like doing, but it's at the cost of hating almost every other character.

On top of this there aren't any strong/prominent female characters in the story at all. Kinda a let down. (Sunbeam's as close as we get.)

2569616 Ah, I see, the last bit threw me off. I shouldn't be commenting on things when I'm so tired. So, oops!

Nice little back story.