Well that was definitely not rapey at all as i feared it would be, good thing too as i'm a sucker for happy ending. I can't wait to see what happens after they come out of their sexy trance and Twi starts over analyzing what just happened.
Well, that was unexpected. For a second, I thought that was just another one of Big Mac's lust-filled dreams.
But it still works out. Keep writing stuff like this, and I might just be forced to showcase this in my favorite story blogs. That is, if you wouldn't mind...
This chapter was great, I love the Twilight and Macintosh couple. They are the most believable couple, besides maybe Fluttershy or Rainbow Dash. But Applejack? Forbidden. Rarity? Too much dirt/effort. And Pinkie? Too much energy.
I look forward too more. Also have a moustache for spa orgy.
Gonna read this, already like the sound of this.(notices chapter 5 name)ONE DOES NOT SIMPLY WALK INTO MORDOR!!! edit: One does not simply skim the description still going to read though.
I personally HATE that they used her, for manipulation of good characters is on my list of EXTREME HATE, but I digress, it's your story, do what you want with it, and it's a damn good story too
This was a good story up till the end, at least in my opinion. I think you should have stopped with a bit of an extended scene of Twilight and Mac and then that would have been it. The bit with Pinkie and Applejack just seemed to ruin the mood all in all.
That being said, this is your story and you had done an excellent job, even if I and others may find issues with parts of it.
Part of him told himself to go back in the cellar and lock it. The other part of him wanted a drink, the kind that makes you blind. He eventually settled on the second option.
You FOAL! Your laxity will be your undoing!
Macintosh barely even nodded, but it was enough of a movement to be noticed and acknowledged by both parties.
Well, there we go. That's consent. No more rape. Now this is officially a love story. ... A love story with lots of rape.
Well, shucks, how's that for an ending. I was legitimately surprised that was Twilight. I thought it was going to be some kind of spell, or an imposter, or another dream. The way she came onto him seemed pretty vixen-like. Also, I have to wonder why Mac is such a commodity during this troubled time when apparently all the mares just have huge lesbian orgies with each other. Seems like that would solve your problem right there.
Ok
Huuuugh?!
Well then.
Commence read.
Applejack is a Mistress?
This story just keeps getting better
Hmm, I'm not sure if I can trust you that that actually just happened...
....................................................................
...my brain whag what naserstal hungrah WHAT?!
....Wat?
.... OK.
Now I wonder if Twilight and Big Mac will stay together because it seemed like lust-filled moment.
.
..
...
..
.
Eeeyup.
"a smack each emphasized word landed on the party pony’s now red rump"
I think you mean "a smack emphasized each word lnaded on the party pony's now red rump"
Other than that, I enjoyed this story. Keep up the good work!
So goddamn close... and he still failed.
You need to write all the possible scenes mentioned in this chapter.
I enjoyed this very much!
Rarijack. Please.
Well that was definitely not rapey at all as i feared it would be, good thing too as i'm a sucker for happy ending.
I can't wait to see what happens after they come out of their sexy trance and Twi starts over analyzing what just happened.
2000086
'Twas all moonshine dreamin'!
DAT AUTHOR'S NOTE
Holymah jomy. Stuff is going down!
Well, that was unexpected. For a second, I thought that was just another one of Big Mac's lust-filled dreams.
But it still works out. Keep writing stuff like this, and I might just be forced to showcase this in my favorite story blogs. That is, if you wouldn't mind...
This chapter was great, I love the Twilight and Macintosh couple.
They are the most believable couple, besides maybe Fluttershy or Rainbow Dash.
But Applejack? Forbidden.
Rarity? Too much dirt/effort.
And Pinkie? Too much energy.
I look forward too more. Also have a moustache for spa orgy.
+= who?
Pinkie wins.
I actually enjoyed that, had some cute moments around the clop
have a moustache or two
2022598 gizmo of course
Gonna read this, already like the sound of this.(notices chapter 5 name)ONE DOES NOT SIMPLY WALK INTO MORDOR!!!
edit: One does not simply skim the description still going to read though.
OnedoesnotsimplyOnedoesnotsimplyOnedoesnotsimplyOnedoesnotsimply!!!
I knew Big Mac was too weak, he's given into lust! THIS DEMANDS PUNISHMENT.
THEY'RE ALL WEAK! THEY'VE GIVEN INTO LUST, TO HELL WITH THEM!
2058656 One does not simply refuse to fuck Twilight Sparkle!
2208892
One does not simply walk through a portal into anthrofied Equestria. Oh how I wish it was simply...-.- oh how I wish it was...
2209218 Nah, not anthro for me, I'd walk into the portal and automatically be my OC.
2209641
It's hard to choose. I keep two OCs:
Shroud, a changeling.Me!!
And Cloud Nova, a pyro-ish pegasus.And me!!!
I personally HATE that they used her, for manipulation of good characters is on my list of EXTREME HATE, but I digress, it's your story, do what you want with it, and it's a damn good story too
2165732
COMPLETELY AGREED
This was a good story up till the end, at least in my opinion. I think you should have stopped with a bit of an extended scene of Twilight and Mac and then that would have been it. The bit with Pinkie and Applejack just seemed to ruin the mood all in all.
That being said, this is your story and you had done an excellent job, even if I and others may find issues with parts of it.
2282278 i totally agree
You FOAL! Your laxity will be your undoing!
Well, there we go. That's consent. No more rape. Now this is officially a love story.
... A love story with lots of rape.
Well, shucks, how's that for an ending.
I was legitimately surprised that was Twilight. I thought it was going to be some kind of spell, or an imposter, or another dream. The way she came onto him seemed pretty vixen-like.
Also, I have to wonder why Mac is such a commodity during this troubled time when apparently all the mares just have huge lesbian orgies with each other. Seems like that would solve your problem right there.