King Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bon

by Fanon Canon

Long Live The King

Never leave a job half done. This was a lesson the resident forces of good in Equestria seemed to have trouble following. First, there was Nightmare Moon, the dark side of the Princess of the Moon, who would have had all the land covered in a permanent darkness if it meant getting her more time to shine. To her surprise however, the Elements of Harmony prevailed and put all her plans to a halt, and what cruel retribution awaited the corrupt Princess: all the dark in her swept away and the good mare known as Luna came back to the light, completely forgiven for her brief reign of terror.
Next, there was Discord, an agent of all things trickery, a master of mayhem and a blight upon the bright. When he was freed from a stone prison, he spared not one second in swiftly dismantling the order of the world of Equestria, turning everything upside down and making chaos the supreme ruler over all. Yet, to his utter shock, the force of chaos did not save him from the force of friendship, and his ever so brief reign was brought to a sudden halt. And what a fitting punishment it was that he be returned to his prison of stone, the odds of being released a soundly minimal, and the world was free of his influence and knew a second peace.

Then came the clever and corruptive Queen Chrysalis, leader of the army of the changelings, a deceptively deceptive band of shape shifters. She went about her conquest a little differently, opting instead to assume the guise of the Cadance, the Princess of Love and infiltrate the very heart of the Equestrian royalty. It proved too late when her true form was finally deciphered, for by then, she had subdued Princess Celestia herself, and assured dominance over all through siphoning the power of love into a concentrated form of magic. But as all good villains go, she underestimated what kind of power love can turn out to be, and was thus defeated along with her entire army, forcefully expelled from the land of Equestria, never to trouble it again.

And finally, there came King Sombra, the dictator of the long and forgotten nation that was the Crystal Empire. When it came time for him and his empire built on the backs of slaves to return, complete and utter victory was only moments away, just out of his reach. His dominance over the resurgent empire would have been more than assured, had it not been for one last trick of fate that instead assured his defeat. And what fate awaited the decrepit king of a lost empire, perhaps the opportunity for a chance of redemption, or the swift exile to faraway lands, never to return again.

Alas, not. The King known as Sombra was not granted such a punishment, but rather his form was completely and utterly destroyed, blasted into a billion pieces by the collective power of the Empire. But, as the almost obsolete saying goes: Never leave a job half done. Due to some particular strange and unexpected play of fate, the king survived, not in the way he would have liked, but still alive nonetheless. His form had been crudely morphed into what he considered a shadow of his former glory, nothing but the simple dark stallion he was, minus the horn and practically everything magic about him.

That sure sucked, to put it lightly. The king found himself found himself being flung across the lands of Equestria, a thousand and one thoughts flying through his strange new head, none of them that made him feel like the tyrant of a unicorn he once was. In fact, now that he was in the state he was, King Sombra felt a very different feeling, some kind of mixture between regret and disappointment. He felt disappointment in the fact that victory had been snatched from him in the very last moment by a dragon and princess being used as a javelin. But where was all that regret coming from, maybe it from his rather poor performance in reclaiming his throne, no that wasn’t it. Maybe it was the fact that he had only his crystal slaves in his possession for only a brief while.

Wait a minute. Slaves. Slaves, that was it. Except, it wasn’t the thought of the crystal ponies becoming his slaves once again that was stirring the strange feeling of regret within the former unicorn’s dark heart. It was that he, King Sombra, had become a slave himself. A slave to power, the urging to control other ponies’ lives, the vigorous rush he got when they were just an inch away from his grasp. And it had brought him nothing but destruction and loss. It had turned him from his position as a once terrible unicorn of great power, into this wreck that was now being thrown across the land like a ragdoll.
It was just then that the king felt the weight of the world descend, and he found himself crashing towards the ground. Landing with a thump, he got to his hooves, finding it hard to maintain control in this form that was a shadow of his former glory. He felt heavy, but it was in his heart that he felt the heaviest; he had not been destroyed but given a second chance, but not the chance to try and seek out his former glory, seeing how well that went down, but rather to do… something with his life.

The king felt lost, but definitely not like a king, but it was just then that he found himself to be quite the distance away from a town. What kind of town, he did not know, but something about the opportunity to interact with ponies again, and maybe in a different way considering his form made him excited for some strange reason. So, picking up the pace, the pony formally known as King Sombra trotted off in the direction of the town, hoping that whatever he would find there, it would be preferable to what he had left behind.

Comments

[wubstep pony]

wut

[jmlop0]

Wat.All of my Wat.This is a Totaly unfreaking expected pairing.

[Gruekiller]

The wat

[Rhino_Man]

For those of you who are too young to recognise the reference (it's pretty old, even for me), it's a reference to a movie called "Dr Strangelove: or! how i learned to stop worrying and love the bomb". A sort of comedic parody of the cold war. the movie itself is quite fun to watch but it's got some pretty grim and stark humor so you might want to keep an open mind.

I shudder to think of what sort of references this story will have on that movie.

[Avenging-Hobbits]

media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mdqujeEuP91rxk4vp.gif

And that's all I have to say about this

[jmlop0]

Wait.....NUCLEAR?And CELESTIA is going to stop a NUCLEAR war?.......Thats is not a moon!Its a Nuclear Disposal range!

[FlygonPony]

Lol well this should be intresting. Very intresting in deed. Let's see when the next chapter comes out...

[Pixels]

cdn.derpiboo.ru/media/BAhbBlsHOgZmSSJQMjAxMi8wNi8xOS8wMl8wMl81MV82ODRfOTAwMV9fZmx1dHRlcnNoeV93YXRfcmVhY3Rpb25faW1hZ2VfYXJ0aXN0X3NwZWNjeXN5BjoGRVQ/9001__safe_fluttershy_wat_reaction-image_source-needed_artist-speccysy.png

[Sagacity]

Well, the title's nice.

[Regidar]

1701284 All of my yes.

[PegasusKlondike]

Haven't read, but you get my upvote for the greatest title EVER!

[Blue Print]

I need to read this. A BonbonXSombra shipfic with an Everyone rating... Can't get any better.

[Diamond Sparkle]

A good start.

[JasonTheHuman]

I hope you make it so that Sombra is unable to speak properly. It's okay, because Bon-Bon has enough voices for both of them.

Truly a match made in heaven, or the pony equivalent of it.

[Feurisson]

Wasn't there one a few months ago with a similar title? "Queen Chrysalis or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Changeling"?

Edit: found it. Here.

[Fanon Canon]

1701277
I'm debating whether to call one of the characters Princess Celestia Muffley
1701284
I assure you, at no point in this fic does anyone ever "Ride the Bon"
1701394
Tomorrow, because I can
1701499
I was awaiting to see some of your comment wizardry
1701535
Note that when that title manifested itself in my head, that's when I decided that I had to make a story about it
1701679
Not my intention actually, but I can roll with that
1701726
Yes I saw that like moments after I posted this. I also saw a different one on Fanction.net called Celestia Shrugged, or How I Learned to Stop Worrying.
Dr Strangelove has a much parodied title

[JasonTheHuman]

1701726

There was also some obscure director named Stanley Kubrick or something like that who made a movie with a similar title...

[Feurisson]

1701771 Yes, there was. I recognize the reference to the film parody of the cold war. I just wanted to point out the similarity of the concept of both stories.

[Avenging-Hobbits]

1701771 Yeah, I heard a lot about that movie.

[Regidar]

1701750 Dr. is best Stranglelove.

[Rust]

i.imgur.com/pyXCr.gif

[Allington Sinclair]

Now, Ah dun' think Ah need to read this, th' title alone made mah day betta'.

[Atlas_Nebula]

At first I was like
alltheragefaces.com/img/faces/png/happy-i-see-what-you-did-there.png
But then I was like
alltheragefaces.com/img/faces/png/misc-jackie-chan.png

[RK_Striker_JK_5]

Okay... interesting. Sombra and Bonbon. Maybe he'll gain menace without his powers.