King Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bon

by Fanon Canon

A Delicate Delegate Dilemma

The familiar sensations of dread and anxiety started to swell over Celestia as she and Luna made their way to the War Room. It was the same kind of feeling a little filly may get over having to go to school again after a long holiday. Except this was no mere matter of school, but rather a very important meeting that the national security of all of Equestria rested on. Luna was taking the whole thing pretty well, a strange kind of excitement about her, for she had never once in her millennia long life participated in something quite like this, but unlike her older sister, she did not fully understand the gravity of just how important this meeting was.

Celestia, on the other hoof, fully knew just how important this meeting could be, and simply could not shake her mind free from the thoughts of just how much trouble her land could be in if it were to go wrong. It was so rare for the ruler of Equestria to have to deal with delegates from other territories, but the scares few time she had done things like this before, it had caused more than the one sleepless night.

Eventually the alicorn duo came to the two doors that would lead into the War Room. Luna paused and turned to her sister, who had stopped in her tracks a little further back, fighting with herself to go over the threshold into the room.

“Come on sister.” She said. “Let’s just get this over and done with.”

“Right, right, right.” Celestia stuttered, trying to reassure herself, but remain firmly in the same spot, unmoving.

Luna hopped over to the reluctant ruler, now growing slightly impatient with the lack of confidence she was showing.

“Come on.” She repeated, and pushed Celestia up to the door, which must have triggered something in her, for she suddenly brushed Luna off, straightened up, and waltzed through the doors, at a decent attempt at appearing regal.

The War Room was a big, dimly light room, the only light source hung over the centre of the room, illuminating a huge circular table while the rest of the spacious chamber. In the front hall of the table stood several ponies, all members of Celestia’s inner cabinet, and thus her advisors on diplomatic events such as this. As she scanned the vaguely familiar faces, she noticed a distinct lack of one particular mare she was hoping to see, causing her some further worry but it could not be helped at the moment.

And on the far side of the table stood the delegation from the Crystal Empire. Their sparkling coats certainly stood out from the rather drab assortment of Canterlot ponies, but while they were all wearing faces of nervous anticipation, the Crystal ponies all seemed to bear the same emotion of monotony boredom across their faces, likely as a result of having to wait a little longer than expected for Celestia to get her act together.

The Princess placed herself at the head of the table, flanked by two of her advisors, while Luna placed herself at the edge, her alicorn shape standing out in-between the Canterlot and Crystal figures to either side of her. Celestia took a deep, noticeable breath, closed her eyes in some inner contemplation, before finally beginning her address.

“Ladies and Gentlecolts of the Crystal Empire.” She started. “May I start by saying it’s good to have you back after all this time. I hope we were not too forthcoming in our invitation, but we realised that it was better to send our offer before Hearth’s Warmth Day, and we hope the brief window of time we’ve given you is enough for you all to get your affairs in order.”

She was trying to be as amicable as possible without letting her anxiety get through. While Luna thought her sister was doing well considering her state not a few moments ago, she could not help but sense that the Crystal ponies were growing weary of the courteous manner the Princess was addressing them with.

“Now.” Celestia continued, her tone becoming serious. “To the matter at hand. The reason we extended the invitation to come here tonight was that, well, a lots happened these past thousand years. No longer are the territories divided as they used to, and while certain regions and their people may have lost one or two of their customs, all are guaranteed complete and utter health, commerce, education, and most importantly, security under the banner of the Equestrian Union & Monarchy.”

The Crystal ponies all suddenly darted eyes between themselves, something that looked to Luna as a sign of agreement but to Celestia looked like trepidation.

“It is that offer that we extend today.” She continued regardless. “Join us, become part of our union, and enjoy the benefits that come with such a position. We will work to ensure what has happened to your nation in the past shall not come to pass again.”

Celestia finished her address, and patiently waited along with her cabinet for the reaction from the Crystal ponies. After some much hushed whispering amongst themselves, the foremost of the ensemble spoke to the Princess.

“All that time we were away.” He started. “Did you ever look for us?”

Celestia was taken aback, but managed to formulate a reply nonetheless. “Well no. There were many obstacles in the way, we all assumed that you along with your king had been completely sealed away.”

Another round of the Crystal ponies murmuring amongst themselves, causing all others in the room to simply stand around in an immense uncomfortable silence.

“If we were to join you.” The Crystal pony spoke again. “Would we have to submit to a disarmament act?”

“Yes I believe so.” Celestia replied formally. “We can’t have territories walking about with unchecked weaponry, now can we?”

She tried to pass it off as a humorous gesture, but something about it must have triggered quite the reaction in the delegation, who reverted back to their murmuring, alone it was noticeably more volatile and loud. Eventually they calmed down, and the speaker managed to give his consensus to the anxious Princess.

“Thank you for the invitation, Princess.” He addressed her. “But in the interests of preserving the Empire, we cannot agree to this offer. Your hospitality has been more than welcome, but as far as we are concerned, the Crystal Empire will maintain its independency.”

And with that, the delegation of ponies all made their courteous farewells with the Canterlot ponies, before making their way out the doors on the long trek home. Celestia stood in silence, while Luna had the good impression that the whole thing had gone fairly well, all things considered. Before she could address her sister, Celestia had started trotting back towards the throne room, her advisors all making efforts to address her with their concerns.

“Manehattans still awaiting your appearance at one of their election rallies.” One went.

“Filydelphias asking for permission to buy land in Hoofville.” Another went.

“Those are going to have to wait.” Celestia barked back, a far more pressing matter on her mind. “Where’s the Colonel?”

“She’s in Ponyville.” An advisor went. “She wanted to attend but she had this appointment at the dentist, Princess.”

Celestia groaned. “Okay everypony, nothing more tonight, I’m darn tired. Call a meeting tomorrow, get the Colonel up here and everypony else we can find. This business takes priority over everything else, are we clear?”

Her advisors all nodded in agreement, though they all had equally other affairs that demanded the Princess’s attention. Bidding them all goodnight, Celestia retreated to her quarters, denying Luna a chance to ask what was bothering her. That would have to wait until the following morning.

“And I thought it would be a peaceful Hearth’s Warmth Day.” The Princess uttered, laying her head onto the pillows and hoping whatever dream she would be having was preferable to the chaos she now found herself in…

Comments

[Hindlover]

Great, keep those chapters coming.

[FlygonPony]

Well looks liek the Empire is planning something..... Lets see what they've got in store for us.....

[RK_Striker_JK_5]

Hmm, I sense something troubling.

[Nightflight406]

Is Celestia planning an invasion of the Crystal Empire?