Thirty Minute Express Train to Story Town

by Predhack

Did You Finish Your Letter To Granny Pie Ew Its All Wet

Dearest Madame Pie,

Several years ago you sent me to your granddaughter to teach her responsibility and see to her protection. Today, I’m glad to say, that I have finally completed the former part. Under the guidance of your chosen proctors and their chosen agent’s tests, Miss Pinkamena has demonstrated dedication and responsibility in the face of great challenges.

With the first phase of her training compete I will now begin teaching her the delicate art of balancing responsibilities. A task I believe she will be most suited for judging by her continued ability to maintain her position at the bakery while simultaneously holding frequent parties and get togethers with her friends and the people of the town. I will of course be ever vigilant in making sure her education is as comprehensible as possible, rest assured.

In other news, your granddaughter went on a trip some time ago with her friends to retrieve another of her friends who had gone missing. I am not privy to the full details of this adventure but I am to understand that the wandering friend had at some point broken a “Pinkie Promise.” I must again remind you, ma’am, of my strenuous belief that we should be tempering the young lady for the world and better brace her for those incidences in her life where she is going to experience betrayals of faith. Her vigorous and unhealthy response to these situations, which I have informed you of in previous letters, is unwholesome and your continued delay only furthers the potential for damage on the young lady’s psyche. Nevertheless, I will continue to abide your instruction and allow her to mature in this area at her own pace.

After the adventure to retrieve her friend Miss Pinkie and her companion the Lady Rarity returned somewhat later than her friends. I am to understand that the young Miss and her companion were the victims of ill circumstance and the thoughtlessness of one Miss Rainbow Dash, of whom I have written about previously, resulting in the necessity for them to return by slower transport. Miss Pinkie confided in me her anger at this, and, without any assistance from my person, did conceive a mean-spirited jest to spite her friend when Cider Season commenced a short time ago. I did try to dissuade her from this course, after my usual fashion, however I was thoroughly rebuffed and left to watch as she deprived her friend of cider. Apparently the incident either went unnoticed as Miss Rainbow Dash has not seen fit to bring reprisal upon Miss Pinkie, an action that is assured by the pegasus’ competitive spirit.

Miss Pinkie continues to befriend every creature with a mind to friendship in town. Notably she recently befriended a recalcitrant donkey, through means of reuniting him with his lost love, an acquaintance with whom Miss Pinkie was already friends. I continue to encourage this behavior.

Back on the subject of education Miss Pinkie and her friend , the Lady Rarity, who has spent more time with Pinkie since their joint late return, set out to assist their friend Lady Fluttershy with her continued passivity in the face of conflict. This followed, I’m told, a scuffle in the marketplace after the ever demure and kind Lady Fluttershy was repeatedly abused for her generous nature. I’m to understand that the attempts went poorly, both by what was confided in me and by the sight of the young Miss returning home at one point quite upset. I was unable to retrieve further details except to say that I chanced to see Miss Fluttershy engaged in the most outrageous and violent of behaviors on a recent visit just prior to Miss Pinkie’s distress. Recently however all things have returned to the norm in that relationship.

You are of course aware of the adventures involved in the mystery surrounding a baked good produced by the cakes for a competition of Canterlot where the cake was damaged while enroute by hungry parties.

You are also likely more aware, of the events surrounding the recent Royal Wedding, to which I was not a party as I remained behind to see to the young lady’s belongings, having failed to secure an invitation for myself. An oversight on the wedding planner’s part, I’m sure.

You may not be aware though, that I have recently gained an apprentice to the art for which I am most well known. Despite her young age I have already instilled in her the core principles of my discipline and she has taken to them like bees to Miss Twilight Sparkle. Her growth is quite extraordinary and would it not compromise my composure I would likely weep at the dedication she has thus far shown.

That is not to say that her mastery is perfect. That would be absurd, she is at best a novice in my art. I myself hesitate to call myself a master, skilled though I am. I intend in the future to reinforce in my young apprentice the importance of diversity in the work. As well as cleanliness. Perhaps as a result of her young age she has a tendency to leave quite a mess behind where she has finished working. It is quite unsightly but a beginner mistake. I am quite looking forward to furthering her growth.

It appears, Madame Pie, that my time is up. I will write you at the next appointed time, or sooner should some discouraging event take place. Please to give my best to my family. I hope to visit you and my family alongside Miss Pinkie as soon as our schedules allow and the idea can be planted in her head.

Your servant,

Dentus Absentia Rex,

Batman to Miss Pinkamena Diane Pie

a.k.a. “Gummy”

Author's Note:

The prompt: Dear Granny Pie...

At some point a while back I started inflicting on myself the requirement that all prompts use a pet in some way. I don't recall how many actually ended up with that theme. Anyway I find secretly super-intelligent Gummy hilarious

http://thirtyminuteponies.tumblr.com/post/37344515559/prompt-189-compilation-the-source-of-laughter-pony