Once upon a time, there was a little pony who didn’t want to feel quite so lonely any more.
But, of course, there’s more to the tale. You see, he didn’t want the company of others. That wasn't his interest. No, what he wanted wasn't entirely not to feel lonely. What he truly wanted was to get rid of loneliness itself.
Now there are some creatures who can live without others just fine. There’re creatures in this world who are happy that the only face they see each day is their own reflected in a mirror. But ponies aren’t like that. Not one bit.
A pony needs the company of others like a sound needs the air, like the day needs the sun. Like a changeling needs love or a windigo needs hate. And so this little pony’d look out at the laughing groups, and feel jealous. He’d find his mind straying at idle hours towards the idea of being like them, happy amongst the company of others. He’d find himself lying awake at night with the caustic ache of knowing your future perfectly clawing at his chest.
And he hated it. He hated every bitter, soul-tearing moment of it. He hated that he was being forced to feel this way without any choice of his own, that he was being made to feel what he knew he had never wanted. And in the twisted holds of his heart, he hated the very drive that made him feel lonely; more so, in fact, than he hated being lonely itself.
He hated it enough that he’d do anything to get rid of it.
And so he made a plan.
Ten
Rarity huffed out once, her breath fogging up the window's glass. She tugged the curtains closed before turning round and returning to her previous distraction of pacing about the cafe’s shadowy innards. It had been night outside, a bright, unnaturally red night that was filled to the brim with ponies: some laughing manically, some sobbing openly; a few carrying wagons piled high with a mismatch of items large and small, but most of them carrying nothing whatsoever.
All of them were running.
Rarity reached the end of one circuit and turned around, her back now pointing towards the door leading outside and her eyes staring into the cafe’s darkness. She’d stacked all of the chairs and tables away earlier, giving her a completely clear space to pace about on. Their shapes jumped out at her as she passed, murky and half-formed inside the darkness. A sudden patch of cold caused her to shudder as she walked through it. She’d been here before.
A few seconds later, and Rarity had reached the apex of yet another circuit round the cafe. She stopped, standing quietly in place. The tip of her hoof started tapping impatiently as she frowned, eyes darting blindly about the darkness. She reached out to take the letter from a saddlebag that simply wasn't there.
Nine
There was a light tinkle as somepony opened the door behind her. Rarity stopped what she was doing and turned, pupils widening as they adapted to the outside's glow. There was a unicorn in the doorway; she could tell by the figure’s horn. A tumultuous sound poured in through the open door: the thunderous pounding of hoof against cobblestone and pleading cries for help. A few familiar names were shouted out too, the voices calling them triggering a mild surge of recognition within her. Rarity smothered the emotions before they could spread.
“Twilight?”
“Where are the others?” the unicorn asked, still hanging around the open door uncertainly, head turning this way and that as she looked about the room. "Didn't they get any of the letters I sent them?" Rarity relaxed. That was Twilight; that was her voice.
“I’m afraid that you’ll be getting only little old me, Twilight. Rainbow Dash said she needs at least three more cycles with the zebra, and Applejack’s still chasing after Fluttershy. Goodness knows where the two of them will have gotten to. And Pinkie’s—”
“Still probably off being Pinkie Pie somewhere,” Twilight finished, stepping fully into the room. The door swung slowly shut behind her. Too slowly, unnaturally slowly: as if something was holding it in place and controlling its motion. And yet Twilight's horn was dark.
“Twilight?” Rarity took a step forwards, and Twilight’s features became a little clearer against the gloom. She was wearing some sort of full-body costume, but that hardly mattered to Rarity right now. “Twilight, are you...” She reached up and softly tapped her friend’s horn. “Are you using magic?” Her target snorted.
Eight
“It’s good to see you too, Rarity.”
With a faint smile of amusement on her face—or at least, Rarity supposed it was; the darkness made it hard to tell—Twilight brushed Rarity’s foreleg out of her way as her own hooked up and pulled the two of them firmly together. Rarity stiffened at first, but then relaxed into it after a heartbeat’s pause, her leftmost leg mimicking Twilight’s in sliding over her friend's shoulder. The screams of the ponies in the background grew louder as some creature from the Everfree’s depths roared out. If the two of them heard any of it, they gave no sign.
Twilight's breath felt hot on Rarity's neck, and it brushed against her mane and coat uncomfortably. And yet Rarity relished in the feeling; it had been several weeks since she'd last seen or heard from any of her friends, and cycles upon cycles since they'd last been together, all of them as one. Twilight's letter had been both a surreal and happy thing, like the ending of a penal sentence inside a wide-open gaol. Rarity hadn't been used to being the stranger in the crowd, to having to keep away from social contact. She still wasn't, truth be told.
She wanted to say 'I've missed you', but the words caught in her throat.
Seven
Twilight broke the hug first. Halfway out of it, Rarity stopped her, her hooves clasped tightly onto Twilight’s head. She leaned in, frowning, then jerked back with a gasp.
“In Celestia’s name, Twilight! What in Equestria's happened to your eye?”
Twilight tugged herself back and out of Rarity’s grasp, hoof already up and pulling the eyepatch around her left eye back into place. Her hair fell forwards, covering her face from view as she moved. Rarity realised where she’d seen the clothing before, now: Twilight was aping her future self to a point far beyond what was either literal or acceptable. A small, nagging part of Rarity that she loathed having slyly pointed out that at least her friend had had enough good sense to stay far away from that mane cut.
Eyepatch back in place, Twilight stood up a little straighter. The red light of the outside glimmered off of her rightmost eye; Rarity wondered how'd she managed to miss that before, how she hadn't noticed that only one of Twilight's eyes was shining.
Six
“I traded it,” Twilight said, her voice hard and firm. “It was a good trade. I’ve finally got an idea of what to do next, Rarity. Of where to go next. We've finally got a chance."
“But your eye, Twilight. It was your eye! And... And who? What sort of pony would trade you an eye for... for...” Rarity gasped again, stumbling backwards. She threw Twilight a look containing equal amounts of reproach and horror. “You didn’t... You didn't do this for your magic, did you Twilight?” She shuddered. “Please, please tell me you didn’t—”
“Of course not. Would you relax?” Twilight walked forwards; the light from outside was stronger now, bathing the room in a thick, red glow. Cutlery stacked along a table top underneath the curtained window shone and gleamed as the light danced off them. Twilight turned towards it, her head angling to one side as she appeared to consider the curtains. “How much longer do we have?”
“Half a minute. Maybe more. I... I don’t usually like to watch it to the end.” Rarity smiled, and it was a sad, strange sort of smile, as if the meaning of it had been intentionally lost somewhere between sadness and joy. “I prefer to wake up at the start. Even if it is always a dreary Monday morning, and oh, even if it is always raining. It’s just...” She snorted, softly, the smile still on her face. "Beautiful."
Five
“Erm... Rarity, do you mind if I...” Twilight gestured towards the curtains.
“Oh! No, no, go right ahead. Don’t mind me at all, Twilight; I shall simply turn my back.” Rarity did so. There was the thump of fabric hitting the walls as Twilight tugged the curtains open, and more red light washed into the room.
Rarity held her breath as Twilight prowled about, her hooves knocking into things and disturbing them into a clamorous rattle. There was a clatter worthy of an orchestra as Twilight's clumsiness offended the spoons. Rarity's hoof flew up to her face as she tried to suppress a giggle. She shouldn't be laughing; not now, of all times. This should've been a sombre, quiet time.
And perhaps it would've been, twenty cycles ago.
“Four minutes and a half left, give or take around fifteen seconds. We'll leave when this cycle's ended. It's just too risky to be moving around outside right now.” There was the banging of hooves against the cafe's floor as Twilight walked towards Rarity. The sound stopped suddenly, before starting up a few seconds later with two constant, grinding sounds accompanying it.
Four
Rarity cocked her head to one side, just in time to see a chair sliding its way across the floor all by itself, without the expected glow of unicorn magic.
“You know, you never did get around to telling me quite how you’re managing to do that,” Rarity said, sitting down carefully on the chair Twilight had slid up behind her. She glanced to her side; Twilight was sitting next to her, turned towards the window. The whole of her front was bathed in red. “Care to spill the beans?”
Twilight smirked, her one eye swivelling round to wink at Rarity. “There’s no light around my horn, either. I don’t think my problems with magic are going to be too much of an actual problem until I've been through a few more cycles. I estimate I’ve got around fifty left before I’m out.”
Rarity frowned back at her, though there was a smile dancing round her lips. “Ah ah ah. You've got to actually tell me, Twilight.” She shuffled back into her chair, bones cracking as she stretched out her stiff lower legs. “No wriggling out of this one with talk about what it is rather than how you actually do it. I want to know how.”
Twilight rolled her eye. “Fine. I'll tell you. Control.”
Three
“Control?”
“Control. You see, Rarity, most of the techniques we use to cast magic are... sloppy. The basic method of spellcasting is woefully inefficient, to the point that—” Rarity raised an eyebrow. “What?”
“Nothing. I just never thought I’d see the day when you, of all ponies, would be disagreeing with the established order on how to cast magic.” Twilight sat up a little straighter, her body twisting more towards Rarity’s.
“Hey, I’m the mare who wouldn’t keep quiet about Nightmare Moon, remember? I’ve... questioned the established order before.” Rarity’s eyebrow refused to go down. “And there was that other time with Princess Cadance; I wouldn’t keep quiet about that! And I’ve... um...”
“Proposed a few radical changes to Canterlot’s filling system?”
Twilight fumed, but she did so silently. In fact, that was what most of the world was now: Silent. Most of the outside's screaming and cries for help had stopped. They always did around this time.
It's funny how, near the end of something precious, the seconds seem to last for hours.
Two
“I ran across Sweetie Belle this cycle.” Rarity’s voice was quiet, small. All of the earlier mirth that had animated it had vanished. Twilight unfolded her forelegs.
“Oh, Rarity. You didn’t...”
“I did.” Rarity smiled again, her eyes focusing on nothing in particular. “Though I'll confess I didn’t quite mean to. I was just making my way through Ponyville when I bumped into her, and she was just so... so angry with me. I've never seen her quite so angry before. S-she wanted to know where I’d been, a-and she just spoke to me like—” Rarity stopped and breathed out fully; when she spoke again, her voice was calm. Controlled. Firmly under hoof. “Oh, Twilight. It will go back to normal, won’t it? If we can stop this, everything will just be... normal again, right? It won’t be, it can’t be—it just can’t be permanent.”
“Everything’ll be just fine, you wait and see.” Twilight’s hoof patted Rarity slowly on the shoulder. Her white hoof reached up and grabbed hold of it tightly. “How... How many times is that now?”
“Seven.” Twilight’s hoof jerked once, but Rarity’s grip held it in place. “Seven times.” Rarity breathed out again in one long, belated breath.
“Any more, and she’ll try to kill you. You know that, right? We get only seven chances to talk to somepony before they...” Twilight’s tongue darted out, wetting her lips. “You can’t see your sister again, Rarity. I won’t... We can’t afford to lose you, got it? We don't know what'll happen if one of us dies...”
“That's the last thing I want, Twilight. I am hardly one to go willingly. I’ll make sure that it never comes to that.” Her grip tightened. “And I’ll make sure it never comes to that.”
One
The two sat in silence for a few seconds longer, until Twilight broke it by getting up and trotting towards the window. Rarity held her breath for half-a-second more, before turning round to watch her.
The town of Ponyville was burning, flames and sparks pouring like rainwater off of the tiles and rooftops. Town Hall and the buildings around it gleamed a bloody red under the flames' light, parts of them already twisted into black sores of charred and ruined substance. The street was empty now, everypony having long since ran to places Rarity knew all too well. They’d have headed for the hilltops, for Sweet Apple Acres. A few would even be brave enough to try going into the Everfree Forest itself.
None of them would be safe. Just as they hadn’t been safe last cycle, or the cycle before that, or every cycle that had ever been. For the moon was falling, and there was no place you could run.
Of course, it wasn’t just the moon falling that’d cause the end of the world. The sun would also be crashing into the earth half a world away from here. Rarity had never seen it happen herself; she’d never gotten that far away from Canterlot, from the point where the moon finally met the earth. She had never had a good reason to. She’d have to ask Rainbow Dash what it looked like next time they met.
“Rarity?” Twilight said calmly, without turning round, her back still pointing towards Rarity as she stared out into the burning night. “Do you remember what I said earlier? When I said I’ve got an idea of what to do next?”
“Of course I do, dear. You said it only a few minutes ago.”
“Six minutes, to be precise.” Rarity rolled her eyes. Trust Twilight to be Miss Prim and Punctual, end of the world or not. “Anyway, what I'm trying to say is—” She turned round. She was smiling. “What I mean is that this time’ll be different.
“I’ve got a plan, Rarity.” Twilight’s singular eye was filled with some wild kind of hope, enough for Rarity to believe in it too for just a few seconds, even with the burning fragments of the moon falling in flaming shards behind Twilight’s head. “I’ve got a plan.”
There was a fantastic burst of light, as if everything that ever was had shone out for all it was worth just once, releasing every last photon that had ever fallen on its surface out into the world in a single, shining instant.
Zero
The world ended.
Ten thousand and eighty
A few seconds later, Monday began, wet and cold and gloriously alive.
One week
dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Octavia_O_O.png
I can't even find an emote or pic that could come close to describing my expression right now.
I'm dumbfounded, shocked, confused, awed, amazed, excited, scared—it's all mixed in there somewhere.
All I can really say is that I had to read this twice through.
I'm pretty convinced that it's brilliant, I just don't know how to process it.
It's—It's beautiful, man.
1586262
Yeah... my first drafts confuse even me. I usually end up adding another two to five hundred words onto what I've written just so it makes sense.
What can I say. I write like a crazy person. dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/shrug_Twilight_future.png
Also, thanks for the kind words.
Dammit, you got me. I'll have to read this once I'm done writing.
You. You intrigue me.
Very well, watching carefully. Take the upvote and favorite. Do not disappoint me.
oooh, Interesting, can not wait to see where this leads. Good Job.
This is really good. In fact, this is about as good as MLP fanfiction usually gets. There are a few tiny stylistic things I'd change, though: you use the 'd contraction a noticeable amount of times, you seem to be avoiding commas where they would make sentences easier to read, and there's a paragraph in there that uses a ton of ellipses. Also, you could stand to be a little clearer in your descriptions of scenery, particularly that very first paragraph from Rarity's perspective.
And all that said, this is still really good. If you clean this up a bit, then publish another chapter to set yourself at the 3,000 word minimum, you could easily get this onto Equestria Daily.
This is awesome. They're just so glib about the end of the world! And that countdown was a perfect touch. All in all, I shall be watching to see where this goes. I see a lot of potential for terribly sad moments with the whole 'can only see a family member seven times' thing.
One minor detail - you say Twilght's eyes filled with hope, but she only has one...
I'm disturbed by the feeling that this isn't just good, but is in one of those quality levels above my head that I can't distinguish from each other, and so I can only say "good". Just enough info to lead us along, just enough description, not wordy, not sparse. The pacing is excellent, giving us glimpses of apocalypse but spacing them out with personal interactions that show Twilight and Rarity's courage and focus. Even EqD will love it -- showing, not telling; lots of that body movement they love so much. (They'll gripe about some of the commas, but I like 'em.)
I noticed only one typo, but it is important. I think you meant
to be
Off to blog about this.
ohhh YES. Thumb'd and faved and watched.
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</oblig>
It's confusing, I'll be honest.
Yet the plot is original and well written enough which makes me oh so desperate to see what happens next.
So, let's see what happens next.
Freaking hooked.
This going on the list of stories to track. I really like the countdown theme you went with. Keep it up!
Why do all the things I want to read pop up when I have exams?
Thankfully they're over in a week, then all my free time shall be consumed by ponies.
Again.
Hi,
Twilight's problem's with magic - should be 'problems', I think.
Followed, but not yet with the thumb-up. Might be me, but I didn't really get it. I'll try again later.
J.
Wow. Well, that's a thing that happened.
I'll try and responded to everyone, because my OCD friendliness won't let people leave my comments page unaccosted, but only if I've really got something to say. So... thanks to anyone who's commented on this/liked it/added it to their favourites. Sorry for the lack of a personal response.
Anyway, let's get to cracking.
1595083
I'd like to say that I won't disappoint, but I pretty much wrote this to purge an idea I'd been batting round inside my head for nearly a week now. The frame of time looping was mainly put in place so that I could explore multiple reactions to an apocalypse whilst keeping the same cast of characters. If you were hoping for the story to be heading along a strict, normal, "let's save the world" path -- or even just for the next run of chapters to be about Twilight and Rarity -- then you'll probably be disappointed.
Quality of writing (such as it is) should remain fairly consistent, though. This was written in one go and has only had one round of editing done to it; the number of comments pointing out typos is somewhat indicative of that.
1595255
Yeah, contractions. Guilty as charged. I'm a northern-midlander Brit with Scottish parents and half of a life lived in Wales, which mainly manifests itself as a somewhat unique lexicon and a fond preference for contractions. I have to struggle not to write out sentences like "going t'pub?", and I also tend to think that stuff like "I'd've'd done it" is perfectly legitimate.
I have problems, I know. Believe me when I say that your issues with my overuse of 'd are merely scraping the tip of an impossibly deep iceberg.
I'll see if I can jettison some of the ellipses; a few could probably be safely swapped around with an em dash. The problem with the description is another common flaw of mine: I get confused all too easily between "info-dumping" and "setting the scene".
Also, thanks for the lovely comment. I love it when people make me think about how I write.
1595287
I was aiming more for apathetic than glib, but then again, the story's out and I'm utterly dead. They're basically synonyms anyway, so... Yeah, I'm gonna pretend I intended it to be glib all along.
As for the sad parts, it may be a potential that exists unrealised. I'm not entirely sure yet, though I'm generally not a fan of sad for the purposes of sad. I'm not entirely a fan of how the story skimmed it with the Sweetie conversation here either: how I handled introducing the "seven conversations/interactions" restriction in my first mental run through of this chapter (in which only Twi was time looping and the length was one day) felt far more natural and poignant to my ears. How it is now feels... stilted. I'm not especially keen to go treading down that path again.
Oh, and the conversations thing's not just with family members: it's with everyone. I'll try and clarify that later on when the restrictions expanded on (aka, conversation == what exactly?)
1595324
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Thank you for that; error found and corrected.
1595853
People keep on mentioning these comma problems, and I can't seem to find them
I only knowingly repressed one comma ("He’d find himself lying awake at night with the caustic ache [...]") so I'm at a bit of a loss as to where they are. I'll scour through it later when the story's cooled a bit and my brain's forgotten what I meant whilst writing it.
That typo is important and cheers for spotting it. I've... contracted your suggestion mainly for the reasons outlined in the response to NN99's comments. I have an adulterous relationship with the apostrophe, and I should really get round to making it up with the comma.
Also, Blog? I'll have to follow up on that. Lots of love for all the kind words too. I'm somewhat surprised that this even warrants a quality level. I'd kinda been hoping this'd slink off the front page without attracting too much attention, mainly so I'd have a legitimate reason to shout "There! No-one's interested in this story! Let me finish everything else I've got going on first!" at my creative drive.
Now it looks like I'll have to follow up on this sometime soon. Damn.
1596449
Confusion's mainly just me being lazy/overtly scared of any form of exposition. I like to view this particular style of writing as listening in on an ongoing conversation: Neither party is going to stop and explain what they're talking about to you, so you have to try and figure things out by yourself. I tried to find ways to introduce the most important restrictions of the piece (Sweetie conversation == info on conversations aspect, No-light magic == info on drain of powers) but there's still a few that haven't been brought up. Stuff like "do the locations reset each cycle, and if not, what does that mean for objects moved by a member of the Mane six?" gets covered later on.
So, yeah: you should be confused. Not everything's been introduced yet, and that which has is incomplete in its explanation. But, if I've done my job right, your interest in having those confusions explained should outweigh your frustrations over them needing to be.
1597224
Funny thing: I wrote this immediately after a C++ exam. First time in a while I'd been able to finish yonks before the deadline and spend an hour sating my inner fussiness by getting each spacing juuuusssstttt right.
1597230
Cheers for the typo correction; I've edited it away. Also, you're hardly alone with the favourite over thumbs thing: as of right now, the ratio's at 46 favs to 35 thumbs, and I know some of those green things are from people who haven't followed it. I guess until there's a way to revoke a thumb from a story, people will always be hesitant about committing to it.
I miss the track button, even if people did spend a lot of time getting confused and tracking completed stories.
And as a final thing, long response is long dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_rainbowkiss_flip.png
1597791
In that case I'll read it straight after my computer science exam on Thursday
And I completely understand. I had a look at the code for some of the guys in my class - 'cause their's wasn't working properly - and spent most of the time just making it look "neat und tidy"
A very intriguing start to the story... And one that brings all kinds of ideas to mind.
I would have liked to read about the initial discovery of the looping time phenomenon and a few choice pieces of what the Mane 6 are up to between then and now. Will we get that at some point? Seems like you're just jumping straight to the third act.
1613807
Yeah, I started in media res, and yes, earlier parts of the story will be described. The first arc is, in fact, set before the prologue... except, chronologically, at exactly the same time because each cycle's about the same week. Story's gonna get weird like that.
I'd be loathe to include the initial discovery itself as anything other than a side chapter, though. The point where the first cycle ends and the second begins: that I could write about. Actually detailing the first cycle would be... massively out of tone with the rest of the fic.
I'm trying not to head down into the dark places this could go. Writing about the first cycle, when the main characters are not aware that it's not really the end, would be close to the bottom. That and there'd be no real reason to write it other than to try and capture the utter horror of it, something which I'm trying to distance the reader from by engaging the safety net early on.
Oh, and the few choices pieces of what the rest of the mane six are up to is going to be much of the mane focus of this to begin with. What Twilight and Rarity get up to after the prologue ends is one of three arcs I've planned out for this. And at the moment, it's not going to be the focus of what comes next.
1597791
Well, time apathetic and glib are kinda the same- and Twi seems to have something up her non-existent sleeve, so that looked a little less apathetic. I mean, you meant it to be glib the entire time. Yup.
Not sad just to be sad, of course. Perhaps just a point that could incite character development or be useful later on. However little you use it, that was a pretty good idea. I mean, it makes the whole situation for the Mane 6 even more... unhappy, I suppose. What were you thinking of in the first draft?
Ah, yes, I get it. That, of course, makes sense! I just said family because Sweetie Belle specifically was mentioned. Clarifying what, exactly a conversation/interaction is would be good, too. Like, just bumping into a pony while walking down the street- count or not count?
1597791 Omg. Huge comment... Aquillo... Wat R U doin... Aquillo...
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Nooo! Don't reply longform! You could use that time to write more of this amazing epic.
I love the whole Wotan, "I traded my eye for wisdom." schtick that Twilight's got going on. Do I also detect a (massive, moon-sized) hint of Majora's Mask? I like the way you write, and I can't wait to see where you go from here. If you need any help proofreading and such, I do edit stories, and am quite good at it.
1615536
Glad we see eye to eye on sad for the sake of sad. Sad which arises naturally out of characterisation or as part of a scene, however... I promise I'll pounce on the sucker and squeeze every ounce of power I can out of it.
I just won't be planning any detours towards sads-ville if I can help it. To be honest, I usually find the detours themselves far more powerful: a character who's being crushed down by all the weight adversity can stack on them, and yet still stands up and says "Fuck you" to the world has always resonated with me far more than a character who just breaks down. That last one's kinda... boring, to be blunt.
The first draft had Twilight talking to an increasingly exasperated Rarity, to the point that the two almost came to blows several times during the conversation. It would've only been revealed at the end, to a somewhat doubtful Rarity, that that was their final conversation. OOC character suddenly explained, hurrahs all round. (I like the idea of doing something that can be seen as a mistake only to reveal it's not later on. I think it'd be a nice way to tug a rug out from under somebody's feet.)
Can't comment, but you're thinking along the right lines. I've been toying around with the idea of a "Twilight Sparkle's Field Notes on the Apocalypse" type thing, which'd cover her empirical research on figuring out what the hell's going on. I probably won't do it
'cause it'd be boring to write and involve explaining thingsbecause it'd detract from the actual story. And be boring to write/possibly come back to bite me when it's revealed that most of what Twilight knows about the rules is wrong.It'd be like me giving you a book on Aristotelian physics only to shout "Haha, suckers! It was relativity all along!" a few weeks down the line.
And it'd be boring to write.
1621464
Fine: I'll reply in bullet points.
1) So glad someone spotted the Wotan thing. It's a deliberate reference; I even went to the effort of researching which eye he lost. I can only hope my source was accurate.
Also glad you used Wotan instead of Odin. That becomes important.
2) Yeah, the moon falling on Canterlot at the end is a reference to Majora's Mask. You're good at this.
The actual fic itself isn't going to be following the same lines, however; I'd have tagged it as a crossover otherwise.
3) Thanks for the offer (seriously -- I edit a lot myself, and I know what that kinda offer means) but I'm gonna have to decline. I've had one nine k fic that's been sitting in the editing doc for around a month now, and this fic -- no matter how popular it gets -- is always going to be the story I sketched out without letting another person see it. I like it, and I'm going to be doing my damnedest not to screw it up, but I kinda want to know if I'll sink or swim without my waterwings.
Even the writing style itself is a bit of an experiment. I'm... stretching my wings here.
4) Heh, the story's already had 2.5 K of itself sitting inside the chapter two part since Monday. It's mainly waiting for Uni to stop gobbling up all my time so I can get around to it/for me to finish planning the rest of the first arc and determine where, exactly, all the plot threads I've laid down are going.
1621607
See, now, that's good writing. Sad for the sake of characterization or the story, that's when you want some sad and that's when I wanna see it. Every ounce. I'm counting on that. Every ounce!
Yes! I love the badass characters who just keep fighting, won't let anything stop them for long, and doesn't let the general unfairness of the world make them all mopey. A character who can't take a good beating, well, that just isn't much fun. So, again, something we quite agree on here!
Final, as in they'd already spoken/interacted six times before that. That would've be a nice, tidy way of showing the effects of the curse, and a good, poignant twist. I like what you had planned out! (Twists are just so much fun- to the reader and the writer)
Gah! Good to know that I'm on the right track, though. Even Twilight can't be right about everything. Although I guess if you ever did it as a side story or something, it would be interesting to see more detailed accounts on what Twilight did while she traveled. It wouldn't necessarily have to be boring, and you could flesh out the backstory a bit and add some adventure and such. Though I suppose it would be a bit of a waste of time if all she came up with was wrong...
You have my interest. I look forward to more.
The first chapter hints at Majora's Mask... Right?
btw Lovin it
Damn....
i came here because chapter name 'in medias res'
it is the same name as a story i read long ago, it was an mazing well written story but it has dissappeared from the interwebz and has made me sad pony
Just read the first chapter and, as a Zelda fan, all I can think of this is:
"Dawn of the First Day"
Let the cycle begin anew!
Oh gods...Majora's Mask flashbacks...make them stop!
Three days...three days...THREE DAYS!!!
(*favs*)
Er.
Mah.
Gerd.
You have grabbed my attention by the short and curlies, sir. I couldn't be paying more attention to this if I tried.
When I read the description I thought, "Oh man, it's like Majora's Mask. I can't wait to read this." Then I read the first chapter and got to the part where they mention the moon actually falls and I thought, "Oh man, it IS Majora's Mask!" Then I got to the part where the timer resets to "Ten thousand and eighty" and I thought
"25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ltu2skorlz1qm8xxgo1_500.png "
Buhwuh
All I can say is wow.
I don't envy you. I can't possibly see anyway you could have written the rest of this story in a way that matches this opening. But I guess we'll see. Good luck.
Oh, my, god. Amazing start to this.
10/5, will definitely be reading more.
Wow, this is amazing so far. A bit confusing, but still amazing. The disastrous scale of this apocolypse (the moon and sun colliding with the earth? Holy cow) is gloriously terrible, and I love it.
i played Majora's Mask and thats the first thing i thought of as the moon fell and time restarted. god the flashback of me never beating MM because the 3 days