It came shakily at first. I stuttered and paused often, considering whether or not to spare details. My friends never took their eyes off me; they just waited patiently, bearing through my reluctances and refrain. The occasional question was asked, but for the most part they stayed quiet, letting me explain through the story to the very end.
It became easier as I went. Frequent pauses and hazy memories turned more fluid and vibrant. The further I went, the fewer questions were asked. Everypony in the room was riveted to my story; they shared in the happiest memories of my
childhood, and cried at my heartbreak.
It was painful. I was reliving every single memory of my life silently in my head, back as far as I could remember. It filled my head with more doubt and questions, but somehow it made me feel happier. Even the worst memories I had choked up on for the last three years somehow brought a sort of contentment to my brain. The five ponies that I had shared the happiest moments of my life with waited patiently through the whole story, laughing, crying, and sometimes just blank shock.
I reached the end of it. All the cards were on the table. Rarity had longsince released her embrace and was staring at me with a look of deep worry eversince I mentioned Aero for the first time. Twilight’s face went completelyblank when I revealed my birthplace. Pinkie just stared at me, laughing andcrying with more fervor than all the others. Fluttershy smiled sweetly and nodded occasionally. Applejack had taken off her hat and held it to her chest,only allowing small amounts of moisture to form in the corners of her eyes.
My breathing was labored once I came to the end. They stared silently for several moments.
“Wow Rainbow, I-I’m...” Twilight stuttered. She began looking around the room, searching for words of comfort.
“So, let me get this straight, for the past three years ya’ve been acting like you don’t even know yer own kin?” Applejack called with a slight edge in her voice and look of confusion on her face. Twilight shot her a quick look of worry.
I hung my head, realizing how terrible that sounded. “Yes. He sided with my father; they both thought I should have gone home and finished up my last year in that bucking academy. I didn’t want to drop out. If Aero had stayed,” my mind filled
with the voices of all the foals that had tormented me for those two years that my best friend wasn’t with me at Flight School, “I might have been able to survive. I wanted to finish, but I just couldn’t do it anymore.” I buried my face in my hooves, embarrassed and somewhat conflicted with all these thoughts in my head. Rarity placed a steadying hoof on my shoulder.
“I thought I didn’t need them. I thought I could become the pony I had dreamed since I was small without their help, and that they were the ones holding me back.”
Pinkie looked confused. “So, what’s the matter, Dashie? Why does this all matter now instead of three years ago when you first showed up here in Ponyville?” Several of the others had turned to listen to her speak, and nodded themselves, showing that the same question had been on their mind.
My ears folded back against my head. I briefly explained the run-in I had with Aero a few days ago and how he had snapped at me. The room fell silent once again.
“I don’t know why, but the things he said really stuck to me. I guess it was just that he was right. In the last few months, I haven’t even considered joining the Wonderbolts,” I said. The last time I could remember caring about the Wonderbolts was at their training academy. That was over eight months ago. What had been a great moment of my life had been swallowed by life itself. Work got in the way, friends… I loved every single one of them, but it was just something that took time away. I never once got back to them about joining, and although it sometimes filled me with guilt, only now did it actually make me feel like nothing.
I looked each of my friends in the eyes, smiling softly and blushing slightly. I slowly rubbed the back of my neck with a hoof and stared at the cloud floor. “It’s just… you guys all have become so successful. Each of you is living your dreams, and sometimes I feel like I was the only pony left behind. I’ve been working the same dead-end job for years, trying to stay alive. The one thing I set out to accomplish when I left home was thrown away; I just feel like I haven’t done anything worthwhile, and that my father was right all this time.”
Rarity was the first to speak up. “Rainbow, that’s not true. How can you say that all of that time was wasted? I don’t know about you, but the time we've been friends has been one of the happiest times of my life, and I think I’m speaking for everypony when I say that.” The others quickly chimed their agreement.
“Yeah, we’ve had some pretty fun times pranking other ponies! I mean, come on Dashie, you won the Best Young Flyers competition for crying out loud! That’s nothing to rustle your wings at,” Pinkie added. Despite my mood, I couldn’t help but let out a stifled laugh as she imitated me flying through the air and crashing into the cloud wall.
Twilight was the next to speak. “Let’s not forget that if it wasn’t for you, all of Equestria would have been cast into eternal night, or thrown into chaos.”
Fluttershy, who had remained quiet for the entire story, approached me and wrapped a wing around me. “Rainbow, you matter to us. Every moment you’ve spent with us has been wonderful. You showed me that every bit mattered, even what little wingpower I had to offer.”
I smiled at her appreciatively and felt myself tearing up a little. “You guys are the best friends a mare could ask for…”
I stopped. Something inside was still nagging at me.
“But still, I’m not what I saw myself being at this time. I’m not a Wonderbolt, and that’s all it boils down to. I can’t tell my father that.”
Applejack frowned. “Well, Sugarcube, yer gonna have to think up somethin’ quick, unless yer willin’ to lie to yer own kin more than you already have.”
I, once again, found my hoof rubbing the back of my neck. “Yeah, about that…”
“Don’t tell us you’re seriously considering not going!” Rarity said sternly.
I blushed, letting out a ragged sigh. “Thank you all for trying to help me, but I just can’t—
“Rainbow!” Rarity practically shouted.
I stared at my friend, a little taken aback from her tone. “I-I’m sorry Rare, I just—
“Honestly, you can't just shy away from your problems. It's obvious that what he told you has been bothering you for years," she began. I looked down, unable to meet my friend’s gaze. Rarity put her hoof under my chin and forced me to meet her eyes, giving me a stern but caring look. "Now, Rainbow, this isn't going to be resolved unless you make up. You have to come clean and be honest with your father if you want to make things right."
She held my chin there for several moments. Everypony in the room chose to stay silent.
“I know it seems harsh, but we’re only trying to help figure out what’s best for you,” Rarity said, carrying a much calmer tone in her voice. She brought her hoof away from my face. She still refused to break eye contact, but her glare had gone soft. The tension had heightened dramatically. The room was dead silent for several moments.
I let out the breath I didn’t realize I was holding in a raspy sigh, closing my eyes shut. I felt like a foal that had just been told that the world wasn’t always fair. I suppose that’s exactly what I had been told. “You’re right, Rarity. I’ve been acting like a filly this whole time. My father didn’t think I could safely live while following my dream; I thought he was wrong. It’s time for me to be the bigger pony. I’m going to show him that I’ve become a responsible mare without his help, even if it means I will have to tell him that I haven’t joined the Wonderbolts,” I said, mumbling the last few words.
Even admitting it to myself sent a twinge of regret in my heart. But I was going to own up to my mistakes. My father hid behind Aero, never coming out and saying the truth. I wasn’t going to make the same mistake. I was proud of who I was as a pony. My dream can still come true, but I didn’t need to feel ashamed of what I’ve done: the friends I’ve made, the life I’ve lived, and the experiences I’ve learned from. I didn’t need to play my father’s little game. I didn’t need him, and it was my time to show him.
“Looks like I’m going to Canterlot tomorrow.”
I stood at the edge of town, scanning the green woods that stood before me. I followed the treeline up towards the sky where a mountainous peak stood, casting a dark shadow from the morning sun. Resting on the side of the mountain was my intended destination. I looked upon it in a new light; it wasn’t a shroud anymore, but the place that could end the turmoil in my head once and for all.
I was going to be flying the Canterlot. It was a much faster route than taking the train, which had to make a really long pass around the mountain; the flight up would only take an hour and a half.
It would be an hour and half that I would be left with my own thoughts, something that I was admittedly dreading since my friends showed up at my house the day before.
I turned to look at the five ponies that stood behind me.
Twilight stepped forward and wrapped a hoof around my shoulders. “You know, it’s not too late. We can send a note to Celestia to send us a carriage that can take us there together. You don’t have to do this alone.”
I shook my head. “Thanks Twilight, but I don’t really see why I need to drag you guys along with me. It sounds dumb and all, but this is something that I think I should do on my own.”
Twilight nods mutely, stepping back to allow me some space.
Fluttershy spoke up. “At least let me come with you, Rainbow. I can keep up with you and keep you company. I can make sure you don’t have to be alone if you find yourself in a situation that…” she paused, her eyes darting to each of our friends. “You aren’t prepared for.”
I mulled it over in my mind for a moment. Having somepony come with me would be great to keep me from thinking too hard about it, or giving up all together. If Fluttershy came, she wouldn’t let anything bad happen to me. She was also the only one who knew Aero after all.
She stared at me, her expression unyielding to her thoughts. I looked back for a brief time, trying to decide if I really wasn’t strong enough to do this after all. I shifted from hoof to hoof, making a big show of my thought process. Fluttershy’s gaze didn’t waver.
The sun had already peeked over the horizon, its first rays bathing my friends in a soft glow. Each of the ponies standing for me showed different expressions. All eyes were on me. I turned around once more to gaze up the formidable mountainside.
“Sorry, Fluttershy. As much as it would be nice to have somepony come, I can’t have my friends try to help protect me from my own mistakes. It would be nice having you along, but like I said, there are some things that I need to do for myself.” Silence followed.
Without thinking, without turning around, I took flight. Before I knew what I had done, I had already cleared the treeline.
Uh, something may or may not have screwed up the formatting on the first half of this chapter.
Also 'She was also the only one who new Aero after all.'
Should probably be knew.
2025887 Damn Google Docs!
Thanks, probably wouldn't have noticed that
You haven't been spying on me have you this conversation just happened between me and my family yesterday hate to say it but they where right and i need to start taking more of my life into my own hands sure i have a job and finished high-school but that wont mean a thing without collage so i can start a career
Bt now that the story is going again i have something to look forward to great chapter
This is what I've been waiting for! To avoid spoilers to others, I won't say anything, BUT THIS IS A CHAPTER THAT I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR! YES!
Good, good...
Nice to see Rainbow being the bigger pony and going off to sort things out, even if her friends had to make her see the sense in doing so first. But hey, that's what friends are for!
On a side note, this thing is still showing up on my unread favourites screen, despite me having read all the published chapters. Is there anything funny on your end that might need sorting out?
Memories and feels, feels, feels. FEEEEEEELS!
Totally random gif:
weknowmemes.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/misunderstood-shark-meme.jpg
Here take all my likes and favorites take them all...
This is showing up as a unread fav but I HAVE read it!!! Any one have a way to fix that?
2027894 I've been getting that complaint for a while. Trust me, if I knew how to fix it, I'd tell you
2027520 I respect that Ideal, but I could debate you on it. I think you have a valid point, however, I disagree.
2026791 I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S WRONG!!!
WAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
2028177 AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
I think if whoever is getting the problem clicks the mark all as read it should fix it?....
I think?
Tell me if it works...
2028214>>2028177 This is a problem with Fimfiction. Happens to me on occassion. The only way to fix it that I've been able to do is to read all of the unread chapters, and when you are sure everything is read, click the "Mark all Read" in the dropdown under favorites.
If that's not an option because you have too many stories to work through, sorry.
Excellent chapter by the way. Looking forward to more.
Great chapter, I can't wait for the next.
Caught an error:
It should be nodded since the rest is past tense.
2033750 thank you! This is what RPing in the present tense does to me sometimes...
2033758 No problem xD. And RPing= roleplaying, right?
2033770 Yeppers! It's really quite fun. If you have a Skype than I'll invite you to join my group
2033778 Awesome, so my friend and I aren't insane for RPing to write our story series! xD
What does your group usually RP?
2033783 why ponies of course! I don't usually do it for story ideas, but I've thought about the concept. We usually just have little get togethers at a different pony's house (usually mine for some reason.) and just kind of chat and sometimes partake in alcohol and parties.
2028678 Oh sweet, never thought of that! Wait... 231 chapters unread.
Ponyfeathers.
Wait, I have an idea! Open each story in a tab, unfave them, mark all read, re-fave! Foolproof.
2033788 Sounds like fun. I'll PM you my Skype name, if you're okay with that.
2034645
2034654 It's just kind of cluttery to have all these comments on a story, I'd rather not have a conversation on it. But yes, I would love for you to join us.
2034052 It depends on how much time you have. My internet is crap, and my work schedule horrendous right now. If I can't read most of a story I just use the Read Later. But now that's getting stacked up too much. At least my unread fave's is clean for the moment...
Finally got a chance to read this. And might I say, wow.
I love these stories by you, man. But there is one thing I have noticed.
Lack of indenting. It's not a huge huge problem, but it's just proper formatting, I guess. I dunno, you may wanna fix that. There's a handy little button that does it all for you, too.
2035852 It's cool, I managed! My connection seems to be ok, it's the computer which is crap!
2036587 While you are 100% correct, it seems to be a style choice on this website. I think I'll be doing it in the future, but I'm not gonna go back and change it on all the stories and chapters I've released thus far. Thank you for the read and your enjoyment
2038015 Ah, is it? I don't normally read on the actual website like I did with this chapter. I usually read stories on my phone, so you can't really tell about indenting.
It's interesting reading this from the perspective of one of the editors for the story and also as a fan. The whole way I read this story is different now. How odd. . .
2045389 I can see that being sort of painful in a way. Also, that makes me nervous, but I just needed to get this chapter done for myself, regardless of whatever imperfections it may possess.
2045399
Oh, don't worry about it! I expected this to happen when I signed on. It is kind of saddening, as I don't enjoy it quite as much as I used to, but it also feels much more fulfilling to know that I had a small part in creating something that brings happiness (or feels) to others.
2045416 I'm sorry about that, I hope that feeling is somewhat fulfilling. It's why I do it, so I hope I can share it with you!
Things seem to be getting pretty interesting. I'm looking forward to see how this concludes.
More! Your gods demand more!oi49.tinypic.com/2z8qlq0.jpg
Y U NO WRITE MOAR
In all seriousness, it was all great and sad... and I love 2nd person fics. Which made this much better. Kudos for j00.
Can't wait to see what happens.
Heya Chromey! I'm giving everpony I know nicknames
Now as per usual for me. Have random ass song that has nothing to do with anything. I just happen to be listening to it
[youtube=Kv6jQmQStjc]