Nearly three weeks later, Rainbow was finally discharged from Manehattan General Hospital. Her broken wing was still in a cast, though the bandages had long since been removed from her torso. The coat on her abdomen that had been shaved away for the surgery was beginning to regrow as well. Rainbow almost lamented that her “awesome” scar wouldn’t be visible to anypony… almost.
To celebrate her release, Bifrost had invited Spitfire, Soarin’, and Rapidfire out for dinner. They had tried to refuse, only to realize—with Rainbow’s help—that he had no intention of being refused. After painstaking negotiations, they had arrived at a mutually acceptable solution: a nice picnic, out in the countryside.
Spitfire’s concerns about the travel were easy enough to resolve. Bifrost simply ‘borrowed’ a small cloud from the weather team, which she and Rainbow could ride on while he and Soarin’ pushed it. With that settled, all that remained to be decided on was the location for their picnic. Rainbow and Spitfire both agreed: there was only one place that would do.
“How did you two find this place, anyway?” Soarin’ asked, smoothing out the corner of a red and white checkered picnic blanket.
“This is where we landed after Rainbow took me through a sonic rainboom,” Spitfire answered, setting a pair of wicker picnic baskets in the center of the blanket. The comment earned a sheepish smile from the younger mare. “It just kinda became our spot after that.”
Neither mare bothered to mention the… other things… they had done on that hill.
Bifrost scoffed, setting up a portable gramophone and a few records by their picnic spot. “Damn, Rainbow, you’re gonna make the rest of us look like slackers.”
“It’s not my fault I was born this awesome,” Rainbow said with a grin.
“I suppose that would be my fault.” Bifrost sighed, dramatically falling onto his back. “Oh woe is me!”
Rainbow rolled her eyes. “Don’t quit your dayjob, dad.”
“Let’s get those sandwiches out, I’m hungry!” Rapid exclaimed with a toothy grin.
“I second that motion,” Soarin’ said, scooting closer to the baskets and licking his lips.
Spitfire gasped, her hooves covering her mouth. “Oh crap!”
“What?!” four voices demanded.
“I forgot the pie!”
“You WHAT?!” Soarin’ shouted, a look of horror on his face.
Spitfire giggled. “Kidding, it’s in the basket on the left.”
Soarin’ narrowed his eyes. “Ich werde mich rächen, Teufelsweib...”
“You know, if you wanna tell Rapid you love him, there are simpler ways.” Spitfire offered.
Soarin’ pressed his hoof to his forehead with a low growl.
“Screw you with green apples,” Rapid grumbled.
“Kinky,” Spitfire giggled, flipping open the nearest basket and hoofing out sandwich halves to each pony in turn.
“Thanks for buying all this, Mr. Bifrost.” she said as she gave him his sandwich.
“It’s my pleasure, really,” he said with a smile. “There’s fresh honeycomb in there too.”
Rainbow’s eyes widened, her salivary glands going into overdrive. “You’re the best dad ever!”
Bifrost spread his wings and forelegs wide. “Yes, shower me with your adulations.”
Rainbow flicked a green olive at her father. He didn’t flinch as it bounced off his snout and onto the blanket.
“Well, this will be an off-season for the record books.” Soarin’ mused, lifting his sandwich to his lips.
“At least it wasn’t dull,” Rapid said.
“True enough.”
“Hey, Dash?”
“Hmm?” Rainbow glanced over to her marefriend, gulping down the mouthful she had been chewing.
Spitfire desperately tried to control her grin, with poor results. “Remember a few weeks ago when I asked which princess had the best flank?”
Soarin’ choked on his drink.
Rainbow looked suddenly pale. “... Tell me you didn’t…”
“I got a pretty close look at Luna’s,” Spitfire said, looking almost proud of herself, “gotta say; not bad at all.”
Rainbow groaned, hiding her face in her hooves.
“Was this when you ran face first into her ass?” Bifrost asked, a lopsided grin on his lips.
Spitfire giggled, her cheeks feeling that familiar burn. “Yeah.”
“So would you say that Luna mooned you?” Rapid asked, a foalish grin on his face.
A chorus of pained groans erupted from the four pegasi.
“More like she gave a whole new meaning to the term “kiss ass”,” Bifrost said.
“It was an accident!”
“I liked the part when you told her to ‘watch herself’.” He giggled.
“Wait, you did what?” Rainbow struggled to pronounce through her laughter.
“I wasn’t looking where I was going,” Spitfire mumbled.
“I thought you just said you got a good look.” Soarin’ grinned, elbowing her ribs lightly.
“I don’t how she couldn’t have,” Bifrost chuckled, “Hell, I don’t think the royal gynecologist gets a look that good.”
Soarin’s drink forcibly ejected itself from his mouth while Rapidfire choked on his sandwich. Spitfire waved goodbye to her dignity. She would miss it greatly. Rainbow stared at her dad, unsure if she should laugh or be horrified.
“Really, dad?” she managed after a minute.
The rainbow maned stallion shrugged. “You can dress me up, but you can’t take me out.”
Time seemed to fly by for the small group of pegasi, the sandwiches, fresh apple pie, and succulent honeycomb being consumed to the last morsel. Everypony had stories to share, and every story ended in raucous laughter. At some point, Bifrost had started the gramophone. He had selected the first record in the small stack they had with them, the music playing quietly behind their conversations. The record playing had been the one Rainbow and Spitfire had purchased on one of their very first dates. As the evening wore on, Spitfire and Rainbow moved away from the group, sitting together and watching the distant cityscape.
Bifrost reclined against the old oak tree that stood proudly atop the hill. The coarse bark scratched roughly at his back, yet he didn’t mind. His lips held a soft smile and his eyes misted up, fixated on the young couple nearby.
‘Can you see them, Firefly?’ he wondered, hooves squeezing his cup. ‘Our baby girl is all grown up...’
Rainbow leaned against Spitfire, closing her eyes and smiling as they swayed to the music. The older mare smiled, happy to help Rainbow in whatever ways she could. It was a moment of perfection, and Spitfire savored every second of it while it lasted.
“What happens next?” Rainbow asked.
“I don’t know, Dash,” Spitfire answered, kissing Rainbow’s cheek, “we’ll find out together.”
Seemingly satisfied with the answer, Rainbow nuzzled against Spitfire. “I love you.”
Spitfire smiled. “I love you too”
I've seen fire and I've seen rain
I've seen sunny days that I thought would never end.
I've seen lonely times when I could not find a friend
but I always thought that I'd see you again.
I'm not in that list? I'm hurt. (I kid.)
Still... This was one of the most impressive things I've ever read.
I still remember finding it when I first started on this site.
I'm sad that it's over, but, at least I can re read it. Now... If you'll excuse me, I must look into pricing a short run of this...
~Skeeter The Lurker
3080620
Fixed, sorry 'bout that
Sweet. I am a little disappointed that there was nothing with Dash and Spitfire with the Ponyville crew, but can't have everything eh? Sides, you mentioned eventual sequels.
3080639
I gotta save SOMETHING for the sequel
3080642 Speaking of which, what're you gonna do now that FIMfic won't let you put lyrics flat out in the text of the story anymore? I figure they grandfathered this sucker in 'cuz it was there before the policy was made but now...?
Stupid policy anyway. Using lyrics in text form is fair use. And Pendulum and Blackmore's Night are both getting record sales from me thanks to fanfic.
3080665
When the crap did that happen?
3080675 Few months ago. Came to my attention when bats was posting "Little Wonders" and he mentioned that they wouldn't post the story 'til he took the lyrics out. He had to link to a lyrics site in the authors notes.
I'm guessing Knighty got a C&D from some record label and folded.
3080642
...A sequel?
I've been lead on this strand for months, and when it comes to a close, there's a sequel planned?
I can't tell which I feel more, impatience or joy.
I love the ending! It was so beautiful that it made me cry! I am looking forward to the sequel!
sequel!
This updated, I received email, I squeed. Weirdest sound that has ever come out of my mouth but for this, I don't care.
Oh dear god! It's done!! OHMYGOSH OHMYGOSH!!! Biggest story ever for the best pairing ever!!!
3080591
Put me up on that list Skeets. I'll take one.
That was beautiful, and funny too :-)
Thanks for all the time you spent on this story, it was amazing!
Please, whenever you do a sequel, update a link into this history ;)
I had enjoyed it since it was released. Great work !
3080642 WILL WE HAVE CLOSURE ON THE MARSHMALLOW AND RAPIDFIRE!!!!???!
I'm sad to see this story over but loved the ending. This was one of the stories that got me into this site so I applaud you heartily for a wonderful story well written!
It didn't even occur to me that this might be ending soon. I was honestly shocked to see it marked as complete when I loaded up my favs list.
That said, this was great, a fantastic ride, and you've got yourself a new watcher. I eagerly await whatever's next.
I just started re-reading this today. Thanks for the great story and I'm looking forward to the sequel and In an Instant!
Beautiful ending. *Wipes eyes*
Aww no more mallow and rapid but there so cute
A truly great ending
3080767 I told you this was gonna be an issue, Ruirik ;)
I'm sad to see it end, but what a fantastic read it was. I look forward to your future work, if you choose to continue. Your story was part of my weekly routine for months, and I'll miss it dearly. Great job.
3080767>>3080817
I see no issue
3080854 This is just how it starts. You know you're getting torches and pitchforks later.
3080856
COME AT ME BRO
3080862 I'm bringin' the popcorn and marshmallows.
please please please tell me this ONE thing. Will the sequel be with Dashie and Spits or will it be other characters.
If im gonna be honest i hopw its still these two
3080883
The sequel is more spits and dash and will involve the other mane6. First though, I have other things I want to write.
3080895
Does this mean you will start other stories or focus on 'In an instant' or try to do both of those at the same time.
3080910
In an Instant will end with the next chapter and I am working on entirely new stuff for a while.
I can 't really say how glad I am to have stuck with this fic to the end.
Everything about it worked magnificently.
The songs fit smoothly with the story, and the story was great.
The plot? Twisty.
The pacing? Perfect.
This fanfic hits top notes the whole way through.
Thanks for writing, you've got skill.
3080895
Sorry my mind just crashed, *ahem* YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE*blue screen of death*
FEEEELLLLSSSS awesome story man cant wait till the next one
It's going, going, and...... It's good! That ending knocked it right outa the park.
please be a sequel... PLEASE be a sequel. I don't know why but I love the way you write these guys. That and we haven't seen Rainbow race the others yet.. I REALLY FUCKING want to watch rainbow blow away all the others... also sequel with spits being the leader of the Wonderbolt acadamy while rainbow is there? yeah thats gonna be funny as hell to read.
3080977
Fixed, thanks for catching those!
As to the two spaces between sentences: that's how we were taught when I was growing up. I am well aware that it is "technically" incorrect, but that's how everyone did it back in my day
Truly an exceptional story. There are many times I wonder if I will ever find the perfect story, the story that is orchestrated well with amazing writing and an amazing story that complements it all into a package of perfection.
I don't think I will ever find that story, but this came really close.
You did fantastic, and I am happy I found this story. Keep up the good work, and I will follow your next work of art.
Once more into the fray.
To the last good fight I'll ever know.
Live and die on this day . . .
Live and die on this day . . .
3081029
You'll never find anything in this world that is perfect. All we can do is try our best. Thanks for sticking with me thus far
3081023 i feel the same way
3080895 yay there will be a sequel!!!!!
Great story, will stick with my previous gushing praise comment, and just add looking forward to your new material, I'm sure it will just as AWESOME
And cool song at the end too.
This story right here? This is quality. One of the best I've seen on this site.
This is by far one of the most fantastic romance stories on this site. I'd argue it's one of the best stories, full-stop, on the entire site. A sublime ending, wrapping up all the loose ends, leaving us with idea of where the future could go, but we're not quite sure what's there. All we know is that, after all that's happened, there's a bright, wonderful future ahead, full of its own adventures, and Rainbow and Spitfire will brave them together.
Bravo.
Its rare I find a good Rainbow Dash/non Mane 6 shipfic. This, however, is of a quality that ALL ship fics should measure themselves by
gameinformer.com/cfs-filesystemfile.ashx/__key/CommunityServer-Components-UserFiles/00-00-32-65-22-Attached+Files/7563.Luna_5F00_clap_2D002800_n1313525544596_2900_.gif
I especially loved the Soarin/Rapidfire jokes, and Bifrost is easily the best rendering of RD's father I've ever seen
I get the conflict you made. I really do. That being said, it was executed poorly with a dull atmosphere throughout this fic. Your characters remained static and unrealistic with nothing really gained mentally from beginning to end.
In retrospect, this would have been better as a much shorter, more thought-out work. You didn't delve into characters and just let the reader become them, the one thing I consider to be most important in any work of literature. You focused mainly on events which were skimmed through, coincidentally unfortunate of a Lemony Snicket level, and generally unsatisfying due to their more explanatory, textbook nature instead of that of a story.
With everything you threw in this fic, it would have barely worked with 300,000 words. You fall short on even that by a lot. During this I felt as though we were on a bus that we didn't particularly know where it was going yet didn't get off out of pure drear. For the majority of this fic, about the middle 20 chapters, nothing really important or interesting happened.
Now my biggest problem: the ever-expanding list of unresolved subplots. SoarinFire, the paparazzi ponies, Fleetfoot, the medical conditions of Spitfire and Rainbow. Usually when questions are left unanswered it's for a rhetorical purpose like trying to impose a sense of abruptness or lack of power in whatever point of view your giving the reader. This kind of thing tends to only work in one shots, specifically sad/sol/dark ones. Leaving everything you did up to speculation served no poetic value other than to confuse and annoy the reader base.
Good things to say about this story? Few and far between, but I liked some of your (unfinished) developments. SoarinFire was much better written than the entire main plot itself and you would have had much more success doing the lighthearted romantic comedy like that. I looked forward really to some conclusion to it, which I will say was the only reason I stayed on for 42 chapters. A disappointment to not get that. Again, you are better at writing the light stuff and fail to execute or impress when it comes to the more serious topics. That is not a bad thing, it tends to mean you're better off, but I would stick to what you're good at.
Overall, I give this a 2.2/5.
This wasn't enjoyable trash, don't get me wrong, I am very conservative with ratings. It just wasn't what I look for in a fic like this.
You're not a bad author by any stretch of the word. Keep writing and keep improving. I look forward to seeing what you do in the future. Pat yourself on the back. This was a huge project, and now it's behind you.
Respectfully,
luc out.
It's over and now I have to reread it about two more times.
This is one of the best stories i've ever read on this site. I am looking forward to your new Submissions!
NO IT CAN'T END I WON'T LET IT!!!!!!
oh wait there's going to be a sequel
oh ok then
Replace "sie Teufel" with "du Teufel", otherwise it's awkwardly impersonal.