Meet the Scout
The silence that enveloped the area between RED and BLU base was absolute, both sides frantically preparing for the inevitable clash. Engineers upgraded their sentries as quietly as possible, trying not to give their location away to enemy Snipers. Rocket launchers were loaded, mediguns were charged, and disguises went up. Both sides waited for the other to make a move.
The silence in RED base was broken by an impatient huff. "Miss... Dash, was it?" An earth pony mare asked, irritated. "I've been waiting for hours now. When will you be ready for your interview?"
"Just as soon as I beat BLU team!" A cyan-coated pegasus with a rainbow mane replied as she loaded her scattergun. "I can't leave my team hanging, you know. They'd be lost without me!"
"Miss Dash." The earth pony continued. "Nobody is going to be fighting until you finish your interview. I made sure of that. The gates are locked."
"No, they aren't!" The pegasus retorted. "Just watch!"
"Fine." The earth pony glanced at the clock above the gate. "Three... two... one..."
Nothing happened.
"See?" The earth pony sighed. "I told you, the gates are-"
The metal grilles suddenly retreated into the safety of the walls. Both teams charged forward, firing rockets and bullets everywhere.
"What the-" The earth pony glanced up towards the stairwell behind her.
"Hey, Rainbow!" An orange earth pony with a trio of apples for her cutie mark called. "Ah think ah managed ta fix the problem with the gates! Are they working now?"
"Sure are!" The pegasus replied from somewhere within the fray. "Thanks AJ!"
"You're welcome!" She turned to the other earth pony. "Ya ought ta go somewhere else. It's not safe here, miss..."
The earth pony sighed. "Diana. Just call me Diana, miss Applejack."
Applejack grinned. "Aw, shucks, just call me AJ like the rest of 'em do. Ah ain't no fancy pony like Rarity. Ah'm just a plain old cowpony."
"Yes, miss- I mean, AJ." Diana said, a tad uncomfortably. "I would love to talk more, but I'm afraid that your interview is scheduled at a later time, and I have to get to that pegasus who just flew off."
"Well, good luck with that." Applejack turned and grabbed a wrench from the toolbox that sat on the floor beside her. "You're gonna need it. Rainbow's a stubborn one. She ain't gonna sit down and stay still just because somepony told her to."
"That somepony who told her to is Princess Celestia herself." Diana shook her head. "If she doesn't comply, she's going to have to look for a new job."
"Well you might want ta tell her that, not me." Applejack hefted the toolbox onto her back. "Ah got a sentry ta build."
"Of course." Diana politely stepped to the side. "Sorry for wasting your time."
"No need ta apologise, Miss Diana. It was a pleasure talking ta you."
"Likewise." Diana turned to observe the battle going on before her, managing to narrowly dodge a wayward rocket which exploded upon contact with the wall behind her, leaving a noticeable dent.. "Now if you'll excuse me, I've got a pegasus to find."
"Are ya sure it ain't too dangerous out there?" Applejack asked. "Ah mean, since you're a civilian and all..."
"If I had no experience with surviving such environments, Miss Applejack, I wouldn't be here." Diana replied simply. "Now, where is that pegasus?" Her eyes surveyed the area around her. She stopped when she spotted the conspicuous rainbow-coloured mane dashing around the battlefield.
"Gotcha." Diana grinned and took off.
The moment the gates opened, Rainbow sprung into action. Her wings flapped vigorously as she propelled herself through the battlefield, dodging what seemed like thousands of projectiles of every kind. A sentry gun on a ledge swivelled on its tripod mount and began to unload its reserves of ammunition in her direction. Rainbow, however, was moving so quickly that the bullets simply struck the ground behind her, damaging the floor but never the pegasus. For just a moment, she flapped her wings harder, and the extra lift carried her across a gap that had appeared before her, taking her away from the threat.
Having left the range of the sentry, Rainbow turned her head and caught sight of a BLU soldier tailing her. The purple dragon was firing rockets at her, missing only narrowly because of her superior speed. Rainbow looked around, searching for an opportunity.
She found one.
With as much control as she could muster, she made a ninety degree turn just as she was about to hit the wall, right across the railway that stretched across the interior of the building. The soldier followed her, but he was too slow to avoid the train that sped across the tracks.
And then, she threw herself back into the heat of battle, where she instantly proved herself to be the best, most awesome pony on the-
"Are you done editing my manuscript, Miss Dash?" An annoyed Diana growled.
"Almost. Just a little more." Rainbow, with a pencil grasped between her teeth, began to scribble more words down.
Diana sighed. "Look, you only managed to get past that sentry because it was being sapped. There was never any train. There wasn't even a soldier. In fact, the only thing in there that is true is that you moved quickly and cleared that gap in the ground. The only place that got you to is here, on the ledge facing BLU team's base." She gestured to the open space in front of them. The battle apparently hadn't reached there yet.
"Hey, I could get past that sentry even if it wasn't being sapped." Rainbow retorted. "I just didn't get the chance to."
"How?" Diana asked. "Sentries are almost always accurate with their bullets, even against extremely fast opponents. It is impossible to come out of that unscathed, unless you're Ubercharged or disguised."
"Don't believe me?" Rainbow grinned. "Watch this." She pointed out towards the space between them and the enemy base. "I'm going to get that Heavy."
Diana looked. "There's a level 3 sentry gun between you and that Heavy."
Rainbow's grin grew wider. "I know."
"There's no way you'll survive."
"There is." The pegasus reached into a pocket in her suit, removing a cupcake from it. "I call this the Bonk cupcake."
Diana took it from Rainbow's hoof. "What is it?"
"It's a cupcake. Duh."
"How is an ordinary cupcake going to get you past that sentry?" Diana inquired.
"It won't. This is no ordinary cupcake." Rainbow told her. "It's made with some secret ingredients."
"What are they?" Diana sniffed it. Now that it was closer to her eyes, she noticed a slight green glow around it.
Rainbow shrugged. "Beats me. Could be radiation and I wouldn't know it."
"Radiation?" Diana quickly returned the cupcake to Rainbow and rubbed her hoof vigorously against the wall.
"I just said it could be. That doesn't mean that it does." Rainbow stuffed the cupcake into her mouth and swallowed it. "Still, it works, and that's what matters."
Instantly, the pegasus hopped off the ledge towards the sentry gun. The machine turned to face her and began to fire.
"Well, now I have to fabricate the rest of the interview and finish her obituary by today." Diana sighed. "A pity. Though I suppose she would have died eventually anyway. That attitude and overconfidence probably wouldn't have helped."
Her reflection continued for a few more seconds until she noticed that the sentry was still firing. "What the..."
She turned her head to the direction of the sentry, and to her utmost surprise, Rainbow was still alive. In fact, she wasn't just alive, but was actively running circles around the sentry while shouting insults at it. "How in Equestria is she doing that?"
Soon, when Rainbow realised that the effects of the cupcake were wearing off, she dashed into the (relative) safety of the BLU base. Diana quickly followed suit, ignoring the sentry as it tried to shoot at her with no remaining ammunition.
When she entered the base, she was greeted with Rainbow's victorious grin. "Well? What did I tell you?"
"Fine, you were right." Diana conceded. "Still, I came here to interview you, not a cupcake."
"The only way you'd be able to see just how awesome I am is watching what I can do!" Rainbow turned to face the earth pony. "The only things you'll find out from talking are stories I can't prove."
"Well, if you just sit down and stay still for a few moments, I might be able to get all the information I need, and then I can move on to the next interview." Diana said. "Especially since the longer we wait, the more likely it is that the Heavy around the corner will find out that we're here."
"Sit down? Stay still?" The pegasus snorted. "Do you even know who I am?"
"i know that-"
"Do you have any idea?" Rainbow interrupted. "Any idea at all?" She gestured with a hoof to the sentry outside. "You saw that, right? And you still expect me to stay still."
"Well, I-"
"Look." Rainbow interjected again. "I'll give you that talk you want, okay? But after that, you got to watch me beat that Heavy."
"Alright." Diana, not a pony to give up good opportunities, agreed, taking out her notebook.
"You listening?" Diana nodded. "Okay. Grass grows, birds fly, sun shines, and you know what?" Rainbow leaned in closer. "I hurt ponies."
"I'm a force of nature. If you do what I do - heck, if you were from where I was from, you'd be dead." Rainbow waited as her interviewer finished writing down the last few bits of information. "Got that?"
"Yes, all done." Diana said. "You can continue."
"Continue?" Rainbow asked.
"Yes, go on." Diana prompted.
"That's all."
"That's all?" Diana repeated disbelievingly. "But you barely started!"
"I'm done." Rainbow took a glance around the corner, confirming that the Heavy was still where they left him, before continuing. "I told you, I'm not one for talking."
Diana groaned. "Fine. You can go and fight that Heavy. But I'm warning you now: I'm not one for watching."
Rainbow grinned. "Suit yourself." She glanced around the corner, observing the big red earth pony stallion who was eating an apple. "And here we go." She flew up as silently as possible, sneaking around the Heavy, who was too busy enjoying his meal to notice her.
"Excellent stealth." Diana noted. "She's probably going to hit him from behind."
Sure enough, Rainbow landed quietly right behind the Heavy, then lifted the bat that had previously hung on her belt with her mouth. She raised it, preparing to strike.
And then she tapped the side of the stallion's head with it. "Yo, what's up?"
Diana facehoofed.
The Heavy turned and, seeing Rainbow, instantly leapt into action, dropping the apple to the ground. He swung his right hoof at her, almost hitting her, but Rainbow's swiftness allowed her to dodge the blows with ease. She bolted over the Heavy's head, avoiding another overhead swing, and moved behind him.
"And, of course, when presented with a perfect opportunity to strike from behind..." Diana muttered to herself.
She didn't.
Instead, she continued yelling as the Heavy tried in vain to hit her, missing every single punch he tried to land on her as she ducked and weaved around him. Eventually, though, Rainbow tired of this, and, when she managed to manoeuvre behind the stallion once more, swung the bat around his neck and began to pull both sides with her front legs.
The Heavy immediately fought back, pushing against the bat with his hooves. Rainbow was stronger than she looked, though, and she managed to hold the bat in that position for a few seconds before the Heavy pried it free and grabbed her head, swinging her around and almost catching her in a potentially fatal stranglehold. Thankfully, Rainbow was too agile to be trapped so easily, and she managed to slip away before he could catch her.
The pegasus rushed to retrieve her bat which lay on the ground where the red stallion had pushed it. Picking it up, she slammed it into the Heavy's gut.
"BOINK!"
The stallion flinched and stumbled in pain. Rainbow took advantage of the situation to slam the bat into the bottom of his chin, causing his head to snap upwards.
"BONK!"
The Heavy finally collapsed. With the last of his energy, he slowly reached for the apple that had fallen from his grasp earlier. Rainbow leapt up with the bat and prepared for the finishing blow.
Diana looked away just a moment before a bloodcurdling scream echoed throughout the BLU base. A few seconds later, Rainbow trotted through the doorway, munching on an apple.
"Were you watching?" She asked.
"Yes, unfortunately."
"Okay, good." Rainbow stumbled a little bit. "Well, I'm kinda tired now. Fighting a Heavy can really take a lot out of you."
"So what are you going to do?" Diana asked.
"I'm just going to sleep for a while."
"Wha- what? Doesn't your team need you?"
"Nah, I'm pretty sure they can handle things for a while without me." Rainbow shrugged.
So much for loyalty. Diana thought.
"Besides, I took care of the important stuff for them anyway. Sentry's useless, no more Heavy..." This time, she yawned. "Wow. I haven't been this tired in ages. Then again, I haven't fought a Heavy in ages either..."
"Maybe it's the radiation?" Diana suggested.
"What?"
"From the cupcake? Remember?" I wouldn't be surprised if radiation poisoning makes sure she never gets back up after this. She mused.
"It hasn't ever done that to me before." Rainbow said.
"Have you ever used it before?"
"Um..." Rainbow thought about it for a moment. "Nah."
Diana facehoofed again.
"Never mind. Honestly, with all the shouting and running around you were doing, coupled with fighting that Heavy, I'm not surprised that you're-"
"Or maybe it's from changing those notes of yours." Rainbow interrupted.
"Yes, maybe- wait, what?"
"Those notes." Rainbow yawned. "Really, ponies who read books all the time, like Twilight, are total eggheads. You write them. That's, like, a whole new level of egghead-ness."
Diana became dangerously silent. "Are you insulting my line of work, Miss Dash?"
"No, not really." Rainbow waved a hoof unsteadily. "Just you." Having said her piece, she collapsed onto the floor of BLU base and began snoring.
Diana blinked. "She is the most obnoxious, arrogant, and insensitive pony I have ever had the displeasure of coming into contact with! And I had to interview her." She growled. "Well, the other mercenaries couldn't possibly be worse than this."
She facehoofed a third time. "I just jinxed everything, didn't I? Ugh." She glanced at the sleeping Rainbow. "Now I have to get her out of here, otherwise I really will have to finish her obituary today." She grabbed the pegasus' collar with her teeth and began to pull. "Maybe after this, I can get some real work done. Besides, how hard can it be to get a sleeping pegasus across less than half a kilometre of land?" Having reached the exit of the base, Diana glanced at the scene outside.
Projectiles flew across the battlefield, blasting chunks of metal from structures everywhere and creating dirt clouds, and ponies engaged each other in melee combat in the middle. Diana took one look at the pegasus she was pulling, then turned back to the battlefield.
"I have a feeling that this is going to be the longest, most tiring string of interviews that I've ever had in my life."
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Pretty nice and original. Go on.
Team Fortress, best game I know, mixed with the best series I know.
I approve this.
I'll admit I was wary, but I'm interested now.
MMMMMMMMMMMOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*dislikes*
megageek.sitew.com/fs/Root/82uuy-u_mad_troll_face_c20ad4d76fe97759aa27a0c99bff6710_5.gif
Unwanted reviewer here, back again with too much time on his hands.
Grammar of speech:
"Hello," he said.
"Hello," you said.
"Hello," I said.
"Hello," they said.
"Hello," said Applejack.
If the word after the speech marks is a pronoun and it describes how something is said, it should be in lowercase. Unless it is 'I said' or 'Applejack said' etc because they are names and such like that.
Also, Lavender unicorn syndrome. 'The rainbow maned mare, the cyan pegasus, the lavender unicorn, the white unicorn. If the POV writer knows the name, use it. In the intro, Rainbow is referred to as 'Dash.' Therefore you should call her either by her real name or 'dash' if that is how the POV writer consistently knows her. There is nothing 'really' wrong with LUS, it is just rather annoying to read. So is respectively using names, also. This is why pronouns were invented.
1520939
Thanks for your review, it's pretty hard to spot these things even after going through it quite a few times, and I'm afraid I'm writing this by myself here. I'll go through it again tomorrow when I'm more awake and sort these things out.
Haven't seen anyone transform the Mane Six into TF2 characters. I'll read for the sake of videogame genre.
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im a sucker for tf2 crossovers
TF2 and ponies combined? Count me in!
i.imgur.com/8IMxh.jpg
Sniping's a good job, mate!
I like Waking Nightmares better. KnightMysterio FTW.
1521435
Is there a reason why you triple posted on the same chapter? Anyway, in my honest opinion, I quite like the way things are currently going--the author has clearly stated his intent in the notes, and I'll just go with that.
Applejack the Engineer all the way!This is interesting. I like it. Keep up the good work.
"No, no it gets better I tell you. When the patient woke up her skellington was missing, and the doctor was never heard from again, ahahaha! Anyway that's how I lost my medical licence."
Where is Rainbow Dash refering to when she said "where I am from"? Cloudsdale or Ponyville, neither seem like a place where it's hard to survive.
Please give us the Flutterbitch version of the Medic. That would be awesome.
Meet the Spy will be very interesting. I fear for Rarity's life (as she will most likely have her head blown off by Derpy's shotgun)
And I know you kinda already have Spike as the Soldier here, but Derpy would be great to read about too. Lecturing a line of muffins wearing hats about Sun Tzu!
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Agreed.
1521404
I'll admit, it becomes somewhat the same after the first set, but I like to think of TF2 Pony Fics as sort of a pool of fics, like Fallout Equestria. Sure, it may be drawn from another source, but it shows consistency, something I enjoy. Admittedly, I enjoy a lot of fics, as long as they have good grammar and spelling, at least a decent amount of details, and are original OR are part of a pool.
1522685
Well, depending on some ways how Cloudsdale is portrayed...
(No, that doesn't necessarily mean Rainbow Factory, but still)
Wow, I'm thoroughly amazed. This fic has been the most successsful one of mine in the first few days. I didn't think it would be that good. This isn't related to what I've just said, but I've decided to answer some of the comments that people have made.
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That's an interesting suggestion. I might be able to work with that. Spike will still be the soldier, but maybe I can put in a bonus chapter somewhere.
1522685
I was thinking about that, but keep in mind that this universe is not the same as the original MLP FIM universe, so Ponyville and Cloudsdale should be different as well.
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I admit, most of this will use the generic characters, but there will be a few which will stand out. I say this because I will be putting in some bonus chapters, like the Administrator, Redmond, Blutarch, Gray, etc. I might even ponify some of the comics.
1525648
I will see, but I'm afraid I can't promise anything.
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Thank you. Future chapters should not disappoint. I hope.
1525648
For even more hilarity, combine Flutterbitch Medic with the somewhat-crazy Medic from Mann Vs. Machine (Free money! Free money! I AM A GOD! The bomb carrier is FURIOUS!)
I just imagined Spike doing a rocket jump, that would be classic.
Plus, I imagine Fluttershy being Pyro. Not the Medic. No worries, whatever you decide.
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Please explain.
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1. Find group with many ponies in it.
2. Post story in it.
3. ??????
4. Readers.
1536811
Well, if you ever saw the intro of Pyro in Pyroland. Being all happy in his/her little domain. Same way with Fluttershy more or less with her animals. She does have a dangerous dark side to her personality. Come to think of it Pinkie Pie could fit with Pyro too. Again, it is your story and I am not imposing anything. Good luck with your story.
1536939
1. Yes, most people thought Pinkie fit with the Pyro even before MTP, and now it a definite thing for some.
2.
My... Story...? Wha...?
Oops, sorry. I was in the moment.
1536968
1536994 Ah, think nothing of it. We all make mistakes.
she just killed big mac........
You know the whole "cupcake could be radioactive" thing? Yeah, well the ingredients to Bonk! Atomic Punch are Water, radiation, and sugar. I am not kidding. As GLaDOS would say, "It's true!"
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Darn it My tf2= pony team is
Scout= Rainbow Dash
Soldier= Derpy/ Ditzy/ Bright Eyes
Pyro= Pinkie Pie
Demoman= Zecora/Berry punch (cant decide)
Heavy= Big Mac
Engineer= AppleJack
Medic= Fluttershy
Sniper= Twilight
Spy= Rarity
5689250 I'd personally go for Shining Armor.
He's in the military and the fandom lieks to portray him as a hilarious idiot.
TF2 Soldier is also a hilarious idiot in canon.
It'd also make sense for Shiny to be the second tankiest class behind Big Mac, really.