Meet the Team: Pony Fortress 2

by The Usurper

Bonus Canon Fix: Magical Mystery Cure

"Administrator!" Screwball burst into the room, giving the door and the wall it was slammed against a few new cracks.

The Administrator sighed. "What is it, Screwball? In case you haven't noticed, I'm trying to work." He gestured to a small rectangle of soil beside his table. "This isn't going to dig itself, you know."

"Um..." Screwball hesitated. "What is that?"

"Nothing important. Oh, and yes, before I forget, please tell Rarity that her cat has gone missing in an... um... alternate dimension or something. It'll be back once I perfect this reanimation spell." He snapped his fingers, and a book appeared in his hand. "Hm. Perhaps I should have hired Starswirl the Bearded as one of the mercenaries at some point in time. I have a feeling he would have made an excellent spellcaster."

An awkward silence reigned for a while as the Administrator set a headstone in place on the dirt. Finally, Screwball spoke up. "So... I have some news."

"Good or bad?"

"It depends on how you can manipulate it to your advantage." Screwball glanced at the notes in her hoof. "It seems that a long-dead kingdom called the Crystal Empire has suddenly arisen in the frozen wastelands north of Equestria."

The Administrator stopped dead in his tracks. "The Crystal Empire?"

"Yes. Are you familiar with it?"

"...No. Please enlighten me."

"Okay, but we don't know very much." Screwball scrutinised the notes. "It seems that it is an empire which has a castle that is made almost entirely of very fragile-looking crystalline structures. It also has many tendencies which can be found in records of Equestria's history, dating back to about a thousand or so years ago. Building structure, district arrangement... you get the idea. This suggests that it was, at one point in time, connected to or even part of Equestria."

"Is there anything that could have provoked the sudden reappearance of this kingdom?"

"Not that we know of," Screwball answered, "but there is a possibility that Luna was involved."

"Why?" The Administrator questioned.

"Well, within a week of the Crystal Empire mysteriously spawning from nothing, she sent two delegates with a few hundred standard Republic troops to annex it."

"Those Republic soldiers have no respawn points, and Luna knows this. Why would she send them to defend a new piece of territory when it is likely that Celestia's mercenaries would tear them to shreds?"

"Well, Luna will dominate the battlefield there, now that her troops are holed up in the only defensive structure for kilometers around. She could also bring in her mercenaries, which would leave her other territories at risk, though, should Celestia launch a sneak attack."

"So, apart from all of this, is there anything I should know?" The Administrator asked. Unexpected news in three... two... one...

"One of the delegates is an alicorn." Screwball blurted out.

The silence returned as the Administrator wondered what to say next. "Give me a moment." He snapped his fingers, and a new mug of hot chocolate appeared in front of him. He took a long sip from the cup before dropping it on the ground and spitting the chocolate out in a high pressure jet that bored a hole through the floor. "WHAT?!" He screamed.

"Her name is Princess Cadance. She was apparently crowned by Luna herself, though we have no idea how she was able to create a new alicorn."

The Administrator knitted his eyebrows in frustration. "Cadance is probably not an alicorn, but only a pegacorn. That means she's not as powerful, and she certainly won't live as long as Luna herself... but this is still worrying, especially Luna's quick reaction to the apparently unprovoked appearance of the Crystal Empire."

"It is worrying, but there isn't much we can do to tackle this development as of yet."

"Okay, fine. Please tell me there's nothing else I should know that could change the entire game as we know it... again." Wait for it...

"The other delegate is Shining Armour, Cadance's wife and the BLU Sniper's brother."

The Administrator sighed. He snapped his fingers again and his cup of hot chocolate reappeared in front of him.

"Wait!" Screwball shook her hooves frantically. "Before you make another hole in the floor, let me tell you this: I made a countermeasure when I got the news, a few minutes before I came here."

"I don't know." The Administrator shook his head. "You're a really good assistant, but not exactly what I would call a good politician."

"Just hear me out, okay?"

"Alright, fine." The Administrator relented. "What do you have?"

"Firstly, just to clarify a few issues: Luna taking control of the Crystal Empire is, in itself, will not affect the war too much, will it?"

"Not really. Unless there is a large EMP cannon mounted on the castle that can destroy all of Equestria, it's unimportant in the long run. Why?"

"So the main problem would be..." Screwball trailed off.

"It would be that Luna now has more political weight than Celestia does. Not so much because she now has two princesses on her side, but because both of them are alicorns, at least as far as the general public can tell. Luna will never give up such a perfect opportunity to turn Equestria against her sister. No doubt BLU team's spies are already prepared to disrupt whatever effort Celestia puts in to even the playing field."

"So the answer is simple: Why don't we just give Celestia a pegacorn of her own?"

"That's the stupidest... wait, that's actually a good idea." The Administrator mused. "But not many ponies can survive the transformation process. What are my options if I choose to pursue this path?"

"I'd go for RED team's Sniper, actually." Screwball said. "Twilight Sparkle. She is quite the magical savant, after all. She would have the highest chance of surviving the transformation spell. My only concern is that it might give Celestia's mercenaries an advantage in battle."

"I wouldn't worry too much about that, Screwball. BLU team does have their Pyro, after all."

"True, true." Screwball nodded. "So..."

"I'll think about your idea. It's a good one, to be sure, but I will need to consider this for a longer period of time. We'll see if we can do it before her interview." He turned back to the headstone and began to magically chisel words onto its surface. "In the meantime, has the device been planted on Diana yet?"

"It's been there since her first interview, Administrator. Are you sure she'll be safe?"

"She has a respawn point. Everything will be fine. It's only a test of her abilities and quick-wittedness. I have no doubts that she will pass with flying colours."

"If you say so, Administrator. Now, if that's all..." Screwball gestured to the door.

"Yes, you can leave now." The Administrator said as he admired his handiwork. "It's a nice tombstone, don't you think?"

Screwball stared at the stone. "It says, 'Here lies Opal, dear friend and pet to Rarity, in possession of a low resistance to high-speed collisions with solid objects.'"

"That's what it's supposed to say. Looks like I did it right."

"...Okay, I guess I'll just go now."

"Bye." The Administrator waved distractedly as the door shut behind his assistant. "Hm... I should add something about the wall that cat damaged. It cost me quite a lot of bits to fix that one."

A knock on the door snapped him out of his contemplative mood. "Screwball, is that you again?"

"No, it's me, Administrator." A familiar voice called out. "I've finished the interview with BLU team's Medic. May I come in?"

"Yes, of course." He teleported back into his chair just as Diana marched into the room, metal object in hoof.

She lifted the metallic item into the air for him to see. "Do you know what this is?"

That looks familiar. Where have I seen it before?

Then it hit him.

Oh, ponyfeathers.

---

So, anyway, this is Meet the Team: Pony Fortress 2's response to Magical Mystery Cure. Twilight may be an alicorn in alternate-Equestria, but not here. Not yet. But soon. Rest assured, Twilight's new wings will not affect this story in any way, other than the fact that she can now move faster, reach the top of tall sniper nests more easily, etc. Okay, maybe it'll affect a little, but not too much. I hope.

Stay tuned! For the next chapter, prepare yourselves for the shyest, most fearful of combat, but still the most-liable-to-explode-with-rage-and-kill-everyone-should-you-threaten-any-of-her-friends mercenary.

It's time to go ahead wait to Meet the Medic.

Comments

[SuperPinkBrony12]

Ah I see you used the term Hasbro originally used to describe Celestia and Luna.

[The Grey Pegasus]

I don't think you had to stick it to canon, really. I mean, it was aready an AU.

[The Usurper]

2166637
True, but Twilight's wings are a significant physical change, and since in the ponies are physically identical to their counterparts in canon MLP, it is something that needs to be addressed, for everyone who thinks this is accurate from the Season 3 ending.
Besides, it's also an opportunity to create new storylines. I'm not about to pass that up.

[Reisentanith]

How will she use the Razor back, Danger shield or Camper pack though?

[sanyo2100]

I'm sorry but I can't follow, Shining is brother of BLU's sniper but Twilight is the RED's sniper? Who's Shining brother of? Which one is in each team? I'm confused!
Let's recap a bit if I'm not wrong...not too wrong
AJ y Big Mac are RED's Engie and Heavy respectively
Spike is BLU's Soldier
Zecora is Demo from RED and RD its Scout
Rarity is BLU's Spy i think
And Sparkler is RED sniper
Am I right for now?

[Blood Brandy]

3364694

I'm a bit mussed up on this, too

[you know i really hate 2]

3364694 big mac has also appeared as blu heavy... i think.

im thinking both teams may be identical, but they are referred to as if they are not. so...