Meet the Pyro: Of Monsters and Mares (Part III) Finale
"The image in the mirror... isn't always pretty."
- Hank (Scishow)
"Back away. Now." Twilight ordered. "Move or I'll shoot."
Pinkamena ignored her. "So, Rainbow, what do ya think?"
Rainbow took a step back, cringing. "Pinkie, what's happened to you?"
"What's happened to me?" She feigned shock. "What happened to you? You look so... weak!"
"You know full well what happened to her." Twilight snapped. "I'm willing to bet you're the one who killed her."
"Good guess! I owe you a prize... Remind me to get it later!"
"You... It was you?" Rainbow asked, her voice trembling.
"Of course it was me! I couldn't let anypony else get to you first."
"You're a monster." Twilight growled.
"I am." She agreed cheerfully. "Give me a second." Dropping her flamethrower on the floor, she transferred the full weight of her body onto her forelegs and lifted her hind legs into the air. The resulting buck caught Rarity, whose knife was raised above Pinkamena's back, right in the chest, sending her crashing violently into the shelf of fragile astronomical equipment at the far end of the observatory.
Twilight's mouth hung agape. "Wh... what?"
Rainbow had adopted a similar expression. "How... how did you do that?"
Pinkamena pouted. "Aw, come on. Did you think I wouldn't notice her sneaking up behind me?" She leaned forward and closed Rainbow's mouth with her right hoof. "I've been pranking long enough to know when somepony's trying to spring one on me."
Twilight blinked twice, dispelling the shock. Her Huntsman, gripped tighter than ever in her telekinetic grasp, snapped to attention. "Do that again and you won't live long enough to regret it."
Pinkamena wrapped her leg around a surprised Rainbow's neck and pulled her close. "Now, you wouldn't-"
fwoosh
The response was instantaneous. A pink hoof shot up into the air, intercepting the arrow with a painful snap. The projectile's bloody tip was only a centimeter away from Pinkamena's unflinching face.
She frowned. "That wasn't nice."
Rainbow pushed at her captor's foreleg frantically. "Let me go!"
"You don't like me?" She sighed.
"I don't like you!" A slight slackening of the grip holding her in place allowed Rainbow to slip out. "I just want the old Pinkie back!"
"Maybe later, I guess." Pinkamena shrugged. "She'll be back eventually."
"I want her back now!" She raised her hoof threateningly.
"Rainbow, don't!" Fluttershy ran forward with surprising speed, reaching Rainbow and restraining her just as she was about to hit Pinkamena. The normally demure pegasus' grip was much stronger than the latter had bargained for, and with a grunt she relented and backed away.
"You were going to punch me." Pinkamena stated, the slightest tinge of melancholy in her voice.
"So what?" Rainbow retorted.
"No, it's nothing..." She shrugged. "I just thought that Pinkie meant more to you than that."
"What do you mean?"
"She'll remember everything that's happened." Pinkamena continued. "Maybe not now, but soon."
"Huh?"
"I've had enough." Twilight ground out. "Pinkie, on account of your friendship with Rainbow, we'll give you this one chance. Leave, now, and don't come back."
"Or?"
"Or I'll- we'll be forced to kill you."
"I'm not scared of death." She chuckled darkly. "But you should be."
"What are you-"
"Attention RED team." The voice was all too familiar. Twilight's ears flattened themselves against her skull. "We are working to resolve a minor fault with your respawn points. Up until then, we cannot guarantee the proper functioning of these points, and as such it is infinitely advisable-"
"-that you avoid death at all costs until the problem has been dealt with."
Screwball leaned back into the armchair, grinning in satisfaction. On one of the Administrator's many computer screens, the five RED team members squirmed uncomfortably. Pinkamena, whose face was twisted into a cocky grin, edged her hoof almost imperceptibly towards the flamethrower.
Screwball's hoof hovered over the first of six buttons on the control panel set out before her. Three... two...
... One.
Pinkamena sprang into action.
Prioritize. Diana, having surrendered her physical control but not mental presence, reminded her gently. The sentry will be unstoppable if you let it fire by itself.
What's stopping Applejack from dropping her Wrangler, then? She asked back.
Confidence. She believes she can beat you. Prove her wrong.
Rather than grabbing the Backburner, Pinkamena instead kicked it upwards and away from her, catching the Engineer square in the forehead. Her Axtinguisher flashed out of her saddlebags, and a second later she severed both the bullet arms of the sentry. A subsequent slash took off its missile launcher, its long, curving arc culminating in the removal of Applejack's right foreleg.
"Aah!" A wrench passed within an inch of Pinkamena's face; only a last-second backward flinch saved her from the bludgeon. Applejack, breathing heavily, kicked her severed limb at her attacker, dropping the wrench and pulling out her pistol. She unleashed a hail of pistol bullets.
Pinkamena ducked close to the floor and pivoted on her uninjured hoof, pulling her flamethrower to her with her hind leg. Just as she dragged it back into her grip, a bullet caught her in the haunch. She winced.
Get up and go. You're better than that.
A fiery inferno of death obscured both her and Applejack from sight.
An alarm clock rang. A pair of ice-blue eyes blinked once, twice, then looked out the window.
The faint rays of the rising sun drifted into her abode. The dimly lit door of her bathroom reminded her that a long night of sleep often meant a strain on the bladder. With a lethargic grunt, she hauled herself out of bed and began the arduous journey to the toilet.
Thirty seconds and three falls later, her half-asleep limbs finally cooperated long enough to complete the trip. She stepped through the door and looked into the mirror. The tired, weary, straight-maned face of Pinkie Pie stared back.
She gazed into her reflection's eyes, wondering if she should have been contemplating something deep. Her addled mind gave up a few seconds later. She stumbled over to the toilet bowl and took care of her business.
She returned to the mirror afterwards. Returning her own stare momentarily, she proceeded to sweep open the door to her bathroom's mirror cabinet and reach into it.
Her hoof collided with something sharp. Ouch. Possibly a loose nail or screw she would have to fix in future.
Ignoring the pain, she searched around inside the dark cabinet. A few moments of blind examination later, she drew out a transparent bottle, a wealth of little white pills jumping around within it when she shook it around.
She turned it around and read the label. Antidepressants - Handle with care.
She shrugged and tossed it over her shoulder. She made use of the knobs on the end of the drawers under the sink, stepping up on two legs and, with the assistance of her forelegs, hauling herself as high as she would go.
A few more seconds of frenzied searching yielded the discovery of a squishy, soft object tucked away in the furthest corner of the cabinet. She reached for it and only just managed to snatch it before losing her balance and collapsing on the ground in a heap.
She shook away her disorientation and took her first good look at the item she had liberated from the depths of the mirror cabinet.
It was a cupcake, dotted with generous helpings of red and blue sprinkles and a huge dollop of frosting. Were Colgate, her ever-pessimistic dentist, to be present, that confection would likely have been sent to the moon by the force of her objections.
She opened her mouth wide and swallowed the whole thing in one gulp. The effect was immediate.
Dull, flattened mane and tail exploded in a violent flash of bright pink, settling into a calmer mass of what may as well have been cotton candy. Her body, surging with new-found energy, began to vibrate vigorously.
She closed the cabinet door. In the mirror, Pinkie Pie reciprocated her lively grin.
In an instant, she was out the front door. The sun, having risen much further over the course of her earlier bathroom business, now shone brightly onto the sleepy town of Ponyville.
Pinkie felt the overwhelming urge to sing. An aria, complex but yet beautiful in its simplicity, played itself out in her head.
She began her song with a bare whisper. "My name is Pinkie Pie..."
A part of her, buried deep in her subconscious, protested. No, it's not! You are not Pinkie! You are the Pyro! Your job is to kill!
"... and I am here to say..."
This is a dream. An illusion. A fake. The real Ponyville is in ashes. You turned it to ashes.
"... I'm gonna make you smile..."
That is not part of your job description.
"... and I will brighten up your day!"
That part of her was about to say something - perhaps something important this time - but another voice, this time to her right and not from inside her head, broke into her thoughts. "Well howdy Pinkie Pie!"
"Applejack!" Pinkie bounded over to her. "Are you having a stupenderrific day too?"
"Uh... yeah, sure." Applejack gave Pinkie a slightly confused smile.
Look. The annoying part of her butted in again. This isn't you.
This is me. The other part of her retorted. This is who I am. Ponyville's premier party pony. Employee at Sugarcube Corner. Spreader of smiles.
This is my paradise.
It is not! This is all a big, fat-
Shut the buck up, please.
"Ah'm free this afternoon since Applebuck season just passed." Applejack continued, oblivious to Pinkie's inner monologue. "Ah was wondering iffin' ya wanted to come with us - the rest of the girls, ah mean. We're goin' to have a picnic over at Whitetail Woods in half an hou-"
"Ooh! A picnic!" Pinkie buzzed with excitement. "I sense party opportunities!"
"Um... alright." Applejack stuck out her hoof. "So, ya'll are comin' for the picnic, right?"
"Sure thing!" Pinkie extended her own hoof to shake her friend's.
The Axtinguisher flew out from Pinkamena's outstretched hoof, planting itself in the burning Engineer's remaining foreleg. Applejack cried out in pain, relinquishing her grip on the pistol.
Pinkamena surged forward and drew her fire axe. Applejack, in a panic-fuelled burst of adrenalin, yanked the Axtinguisher out of her limb with her mouth and swung it as hard as she could.
Pinkamena rolled under the blade gracefully, evading the attack and coming up behind Applejack's defenses. A swift uppercut removed the Engineer's jaw. A last strike with the butt of her axe, more salt in the wound than anything else, sent her poor victim sprawling on the ground.
Good work. Diana approved. Finish her.
Pinkamena nodded. She lifted the axe into the air and brought it down with a sickening crack.
Screwball's hoof descended upon the button.
"Processing request." A disembodied, robotic voice emanated from the wall-mounted speakers.
"Come on..."
"Request accepted. RED Engineer respawn point status: disabled."
"Yes!"
Danger incoming. Feeling the pinchy knee?
Yeah. Gimme a moment. She grabbed her flamethrower and flicked a small switch at the side. A tiny panel opened, spewing out a not-at-all-tiny cloud of soot and ash.
She felt it coming. The arrow, light from the dying embers glinting off its deadly tip, flew straight through where her head was a second earlier. She closed her eyes and concentrated, letting the power of chaos flow through her.
When she opened her eyes, Fluttershy's vulnerable, prone back stared her in the face.
She chuckled maniacally.
The conversation with Applejack had ended quickly when Pinkie Pie realized that any picnic-party required food. Not just any food, of course; it had to be the very tastiest treats she would be able to get her hooves on. So with a laconic farewell to her friend, she dashed off to the one place she knew would have everything she needed.
Probably.
"Where are they?" Pinkie Pie zipped around the kitchen of Sugarcube Corner, overturning pots, emptying cupboards, and sweeping tables clean in her quest for the elusive treats which she was pretty sure she'd left in the pantry just yesterday.
"Pinkie?" A voice called from elsewhere in the building. "What are you doing?"
"Nothing, Mrs Cake!" She responded. "I'm just looking for the sweets I made yesterday!"
"Oh! Those were yours? I thought it was the batch I made this morning!" Mrs Cake pushed the door open, smiling apologetically. "There's a bottle on the table full of candy. You can take that one instead."
"Thanks!" Pinkie quickly spotted the bottle in question, brushing it into her saddlebags. She hoisted the bags onto her back. "I gotta go now!"
"Of course. I'll just count it as half-day leave then-"
whoosh
A very bewildered Mrs Cake blinked. The kitchen was empty. She raised a hoof to her mane and discovered that, for some peculiar reason, every strand of hair pointed in the direction of Sugarcube Corner's exit.
Pinkie, in the meantime, was well on her way to Whitetail Woods. A combination of her sugar rush and ability to defy both physics and logic shortened the travel time considerably.
Abruptly, she stopped. Off in the distance, a long trail of pink hair, attached to a butter-yellow head and rump, bobbed up and down.
Pinkie smiled. Time for a surprise, Pinkie Pie style!
"Where'd she go?" Fluttershy asked.
"I don't know, but she won't have gone far." Twilight's eyes darted around, searching for any hint of the deranged Pyro. "Be alert. Don't let her catch you by surprise."
"SURPRISE!" Pinkamena jumped from from the shadows, twirling her fire axe in a deadly dance. Fluttershy's snap instinct - the less useful one - sent her scrambling away with an "eep!" of fear. Her second, far more helpful reaction saved her with only milliseconds to spare; The axe had very nearly carved through her torso unopposed. Her Ubersaw was the only thing between that blade and certain death.
Pinkamena snarled. Pulling the axe back, she opted for a strong downward blow to the pegasus' skull. Fluttershy snapped her head backwards, bringing her saw around in a sweeping arc that caught her off guard. She was forced to twist her body around and manoeuvre her hoof into an incredibly awkward and uncomfortable position to deflect the attack.
Evidently, Twilight saw her chance. The arrow that flew straight for her heart was too fast to dodge, but a split-second reaction let her left shoulder blade take the wound.
Don't let the pain overwhelm you. Diana ordered. Don't let it control you. You must control it. It is not your master. It is your tool. Use it to fuel your rage.
Pinkamena screamed. Her hooves, driven by a newfound vigour, propelled the axe into Fluttershy's saw with such force that both shattered into thousands of small, metallic shards.
The pegasus scurried back hastily. Pinkamena, for her part, didn't miss a heartbeat. Her flamethrower, now in her hooves and ready for action, belched raging infernos in Fluttershy's face.
Another arrow caught her on her right shoulder. She barely flinched.
Good. Now finish her.
Pinkamena thrust the flamethrower forward. Fluttershy howled in agony.
"SURPRISE!"
"Eep!" Fluttershy backtracked rapidly, stopping and curling into a shivering ball of fear when her rear backed itself into a nearby tree.
Somewhere at the back of her head, a voice told her that what she'd just done wasn't exactly the smartest thing.
"Aw, I'm sorry, Fluttershy." Pinkie trotted to her and wrapped a hoof around her shivering form. "I didn't mean to frighten you so badly."
Her right shoulder began to hurt. She looked down and saw an irate bunny whacking her with a sharp stick.
"That hurts." Pinkie gently nudged Angel away. "Could you stop, please?"
The incensed expression on his face said it all.
Pinkie sighed. "Oh, all right."
"It... it's okay, Angel." Fluttershy whispered. "It's not her fault."
The bunny gazed at her, then Pinkie. With a disgruntled huff, he hopped away and onto his owner's back.
"I'm really sorry, Pinkie." Fluttershy, slowly getting to her feet, gave her a contrite smile. "He's just overprotective."
"Nah, it was my fault. I should've thought some more before jumping on you like tha-"
Behind her, a twig snapped.
An alarm went off in Pinkamena's head. Flipping over the burning Medic, she turned around mid-air and directed the Backburner at a rapidly decloaking Rarity. The edges of her elaborately curled coiffure burst into flames.
Contrary to her expectations, Rarity ignored the burning mane, instead taking impossibly calm and careful aim with her revolver and loosing the full barrel of six shots at her target's face.
"Pinkie Pie! I saw everything!"
"Huh?" Pinkie turned. Staring her down was a very annoyed-looking white unicorn. "Oh hey Rarity! What's up?"
"How could you scare Fluttershy like that? You know she's sensitive to these kinds of things!"
"Well..." Pinkie rubbed the back of her head sheepishly. "I guess I just wasn't thinking straight."
Rarity sighed. "Really, darling, you need to think twice before you do something."
"It's okay, Rarity." Fluttershy said. "I guess I just need to be a little bit bolder."
"Now come on, that was hardly your fault." Rarity looked back at Pinkie. "Just be more considerate next time, okay?"
"Yeppers!" Pinkie grinned. Lowering herself to the ground, she opened her saddlebags and let the bottle of sweets roll out.
"What's that?" Rarity asked.
"Apology sweets! My treat!" She picked up the bottle.
Pinkamena dropped, flipping the cover of her saddlebags open as she did so. The Detonator rolled out of the satchel. She snatched it off the floor and fired at the Spy.
Her shot flew true.
The flare struck Rarity in the chest. She grunted, her grip on her revolver slackening. It was all the leeway Pinkamena needed. A ferocious pounce carried her right across the room, knocking the gun aside as she withdrew her axe. She descended upon a shocked Spy who was, in a panicked frenzy, scrambling for her knife.
Rarity reached it just in time. A shower of sparks erupted between her Eternal Reward and the fire axe. Agility was not Pinkamena's strong suit: Telekinesis provided a much better means of wielding a weapon than hooves. She narrowly avoided a series of slashes targeted at her abdomen.
She sensed another arrow coming. A quick leap straight upwards earned her the safety of her skull but the aggravation of her right hind leg.
Alright, I know I said to master your pain, but at this rate you're going to bleed to death long before this fight is over.
Then I'd better finish this quickly.
Wasn't that the idea from the beginning?
I need to go even quicker now. Pinkamena swept forward and fired the Detonator. Rarity levitated her knife to block the flare.
boom
True to its weapon's name, the flare detonated at the blade, sending it hurtling away. Rarity looked at the fallen knife in amazement, and then back up in horror at the rapidly approaching Pyro.
Pinkamena wasted no time. The fire axe was her bait, distracting Rarity with its menacing blood-tipped edges. She fell for it.
Two white hooves jumped up to intercept the axe-wielding leg. Pinkamena's other leg, the unarmed one, reached around and smacked Rarity upside the head.
What are you doing? Diana asked angrily. Use your flamethrower!
Not yet. I'm saving it.
Saving it for what?
You'll see soon.
Rarity stumbled back, disoriented. The axe, now unencumbered, carved its way neatly through her torso.
Watch it. Another arrow's on the way.
I got it. Pinkamena brought her flamethrower to bear and whipped around. Taking a moment to aim, she pulled the airblasting trigger.
Your aim is terrible.
That's because I'm not going for the Sniper.
Huh?... Oh.
"AAH!"
"Fluttershy!" Twilight screamed.
"Heh heh heh..." Pinkamena strode forward confidently. She tossed her flamethrower up in the air and bucked it at Twilight with as much force as she could. While the Sniper was distracted, she took her axe and, with a grand flourish, brought it down onto the writhing Fluttershy's neck.
"Processing request... Request accepted. RED Spy and RED Medic respawn point status: disabled."
"You didn't have to, Pinkie. I mean, it's fine if you want to give it to me, but it's also fine if you don't-"
"Just take some, silly filly!"
"O... okay." Timidly, Fluttershy reached into the bottle. "Um, do you want me to pick the red one, or the blue one, or the-"
"Any one! It's your choice!"
"Uh... the red one, I guess." Fluttershy took the candy out, staring at it. A short bout of hesitation later, she opened her mouth and swallowed the treat. "Oh, this is really nice."
"Thanks!" Pinkie turned to Rarity. "Want one?"
"Uh... no thanks. It's bad for my weight."
"Suit yourself!" Pinkie wrapped her hoof around her neck. "But are you sure?"
"Pretty sure." Even so, the reluctance in her eyes as she tore her eyes away from the bottle spoke volumes of her true thoughts.
"Really, really sure?" Pinkie dangled the bottle in front of her face as bait, reaching for another one of the confections in her saddlebag.
"Um... yes, I'm very, very sure..." Rarity fell for it. Her eyes remained fixed on the bottle, a little strand of drool leaking out of her mouth.
"Well, if you say so..." Pinkie drew out a cupcake and snaked her foreleg around Rarity's neck. "Say, what's that over there?"
"Where?"
Pinkie stuffed the cupcake into her mouth.
"Mmpth!" Rarity flinched in momentary surprise, but as her tongue registered just what was in her mouth she relaxed somewhat. "Don't do that, Pinkie."
"Come on, you enjoyed it."
"The cupcake, maybe, but not the surprise." Rarity chewed slowly. "Oh, I'm going to have to work off these calories somehow."
"That's for later!" Pinkie bounded over to Fluttershy and pulled her up. "Let's go!"
"Not so hard, please, Pinkie. Ow, my neck hurts..."
"Oops! My bad!" Pinkie gave her a conciliatory grin. "Sorry?"
"It's fine. Just don't do it again, if it's okay with you."
"Don't worry, that was the last time!"
"This is the last time!" Twilight shrieked. "You'll never hurt my friends ever again!"
"Wasn't I your friend?" Pinkamena, extricating her bloody axe from the corpse's neck with similarly bloody hooves, faked a hurt pout.
"That was Diana, not you." Twilight growled. "I don't know what happened, but you aren't her. Not by a long shot."
"But weren't you the one who said that everypony means much more to you than I thought?" Pinkamena grinned. "Unless my interview notes were lying to me."
"Everypony. That doesn't include monsters like you."
"Monster? That's harsh."
"That's not even harsh enough." Twilight shot her a bitter grimace. "I shudder to imagine what inequine thoughts reside in your head."
"'What dreams of chronic, sustained cruelty', right?" Pinkamena chuckled. "See? I remembered how Meet the Pyro went! Now if I were just wearing a mask this would be perfect."
"I won't ever pretend to know what you're talking about." Twilight, brandishing her Huntsman, pulled the bowstring taut and slid an arrow into place. "But once I kill you it won't matter anymore."
"Just one mistake, Twilight." Pinkamena tutted. "No matter what you do, you won't kill me."
Twilight fired.
No challenge. You know what to do.
Aye aye, captain. The fire axe was up in a flash, taking the arrow on its broad surface. Twilight, mimicking Pinkamena's style, ducked and rolled, manipulating her Bushwacka in a slash that forced her opponent to back off in a defensive parry.
With a calculating grin, she jumped onto Pinkamena.
What's she doing? She's mad!
Don't be so quick to belittle your enemy. Diana cautioned. She's smart. She most likely has a plan up her sleeve.
The glint of confidence in Twilight's eyes agreed.
Pinkamena took aim with her Detonator and fired, but Twilight was too skilled to be caught by such a simple trick. An arrow punctured the flare before it had a chance to release its explosive power. In an instant, both the Pyro and the Sniper were locked in melee combat, Bushwacka against fire axe.
Watch out. She's going to do something. Stay alert.
The remainder of the walk took only a few minutes. To Pinkie, though, the journey may as well have passed in the blink of an eye; so absorbed was she in the conversation with her friends that she only realized the trek was over when Rarity motioned her away from the food basket she'd almost trampled underhoof.
"Pinkie, you should pay more attention to where you're going."
"But I can't do that and talk at the same time!"
Rarity sighed.
"Hey girls!" Twilight waved from a few meters away. "Mind helping us set up the picnic mat here?"
"Sure thing!" Pinkie bounded over to her, grinned, and gripped the end of the mat between her teeth. A brief stint of impossible acrobatics later, the mat flew up into the air, performed a triple loop, and drifted down to the grass, nicely spread out.
Twilight gaped. "I'm not even going to ask how you did that."
"Okie dokie lokie!" Pinkie sat down. "So, didja bring anything?"
"You mean food?" Twilight asked. Pinkie nodded. "Well, I brought some sandwiches."
"Ooh! What kind?"
"Alfalfa." Twilight's horn lit up, and the basket levitated itself over to her. "Oh yes, and some jam."
"Jam?" Pinkie flipped the lid open. "What kind?"
"Strawberry." The jar of said jam floated out of the basket. "Want some?"
"I do, I do!"
"Well, here you-" Twilight's magic weakened just momentarily, and the jar slipped out of her grip and smashed itself against the ground.
For a brief moment, light glinted off glass. Pinkamena saw the danger too late.
splash
The jar shattered against the ground. A wave of Jarate, glistening yellow in the light of Twilight's magic, caught Pinkamena straight in the face - and the rest of her body too, but that goes without saying - sending her reeling backwards in shock.
I warned you.
"Yes, you did." Pinkamena grunted out loud. Her moment of inward dialogue cost her; A powerful slice from the Bushwacka carved a long but thankfully shallow wound down her chest.
Pay attention. Diana reminded her. Focus on defending your weak points until you can strike back.
"Right." The fire axe jumped up to intercept Twilight's next strike. The Bushwacka arced backwards and swung around, nearly tearing Pinkamena's chin off. A desperate deflection with the hilt of her axe was the only thing that saved her face from being disfigured.
Twilight grinned. "Losing your touch, are you?"
"Not at all." Pinkamena growled, narrowly dodging a slash that would have taken her head off.
She's taunting you. Diana warned. She wants you to switch to the offensive so she can slip under your defenses and finish you off. Don't fall for it.
Pinkamena seethed with anger. I can't let her get away with mocking me like that!
You don't have to. You'll get her back if, and only if, you finish her off. That means you have to know when to strike and when to hold back.
But it's so...
Insulting? Definitely. But you can't let the rage rule you. Like pain, it is your tool.
Pinkamena's grip tightened on the fire axe. Her body surrendered itself to the will of her instincts, reflexes, and Pinkie Sense. She responded to every slash, uppercut and riposte with minimalistic parries, never letting Twilight get the upper hoof while conserving her energy.
Good. That's how you do it.
Slowly but surely, Twilight began to tire, losing strength in her slices. The ethereal glow around the Bushwacka dimmed ever so slightly. Sweat dripped down her face like rain, drenching the observatory floor with her fatigue.
Now's your chance. Move in.
Pinkamena charged, hacking wildly with the axe. Twilight's horn flashed in response, surrounding her in a purple, otherworldly sphere of magical energy that dissipated near instantly, leaving nothing in its wake.
Teleportation. Get ready to take her on. My guess is that she went to get your-
"Not so fun when I use your own weapon against you, is it?" Twilight stood at the far end of the room, cradling a battered Backburner in her two forehooves. Tossing it up into the air, she caught it in her telekinetic grip and propelled it at Pinkamena, fire blazing.
Now if only you were wearing your fireproof suit... oh wait, that's right; you left it in your saddlebags.
A bit late to put it on now, don'tcha think? She returned dryly. Rolling to her right, she brought the Detonator to bear and fired.
Twilight was prepared. For a moment, her horn flashed even brighter, and the flare flew back at Pinkamena with ferocious speed.
Grah! Since when did she know how to use the airblast?
You know Twilight. She has an urge to understand absolutely everything.
Pinkamena rushed forward, ducking under the flamethrower and lunging at Twilight. Her charge was brought to an abrupt halt by an arrow impaling her other, uninjured shoulder.
Okay, that's it. Telekinesis is cheating.
Nopony ever said it wasn't.
The flamethrower, still in Twilight's magical grasp, made a one-hundred-and-eighty degree turn and came straight for Pinkamena.
She'll expect you to duck.
As the weapon approached, Pinkamena executed a powerful leap that carried her far above the flamethrower which, just as it approached the spot she'd been a second ago, rotated and scorched the floor with blistering heat.
There! Go in and take it back!
She landed gracefully atop the Backburner, wrenching it out of Twilight's telekinetic field and back into her hooves. The Sniper, taken by surprise, only managed to loose an single arrow at her foe. The projectile was easily blasted back at her.
The fatigue had taken its toll. Too slow to evade her own arrow, it flew through Twilight's left forehoof and pinned her to the wall.
Pinkamena smiled. "The end of the line, huh?"
Twilight struggled momentarily. She soon realized, however, that she was never going to get out of it in time. "That's it for me. I guess you win, Pinkie."
"You did well, though. Almost got me a few times."
"I suppose." She looked at the floor resignedly. "Make it quick, please."
May as well. Diana advised. A worthy end for a worthy foe.
But where would the fun be in that?
Be quick and efficient. The faster we're done, the faster we can leave. No doubt the Administrator will punish us for sacrificing time for personal enjoyment if we don't.
Fine, fine.
"What a waste." Twilight sighed, picking up the shattered pieces of the jar one by one. "Oh well. We've still got more, don't we?"
"You betcha!" Pinkie jerked her rump upwards, sending her saddlebags flying up into the air. She caught it neatly on her foreleg. "Got all the sweets we can eat right here."
"That sounds... delicious." Twilight opened the bag. "Any recommendations?"
"Well... I've got this lollipop!" Pinkie pulled the candy out and playfully swung it in a loop.
Pinkamena swung her fire axe as hard as she could. The blade cut neatly through Twilight's neck, sending her decapitated head rolling across the floor.
Clean and quick. I'm proud.
"Processing request... Request accepted. RED Sniper respawn point status: disabled."
"That just leaves one more pony." Pinkamena looked around and spotted a cyan-coloured ball of trembling fear in the corner. "Gotcha."
You know, I have to wonder why she didn't even try to shoot us while we were killing everypony else.
"I was going to ask the same thing." She turned to Rainbow. "You were the only one not trying to kill me just now. Why?"
She was muttering to herself. "'She'll remember everything that's happened.'"
"What?"
"'She'll remember everything that's happened.'" Rainbow repeated, louder this time. "That's what you said just now."
She paused for a long while, her rage slowly draining away. "... Yeah. So?"
"I don't know, it just..." She waved her hooves around, trying to draw a picture she couldn't see. "... When you said that, all I could see when I looked at you was Pinkie. A Pinkie who was scared to fail."
Pinkamena wanted to retort. She wanted to say Me? Scared? Never! but try as she might, the words wouldn't come out of her open mouth.
Rainbow continued. "I'm not sure why, but I thought I saw Pinkie standing there, looking at me. She was crying. I... I just couldn't hurt her. I couldn't!"
Something within Pinkamena gave way. A drop of liquid sorrow gathered at the corner of her eye.
"I couldn't." Rainbow stressed. "But now, when I look at you, all I see there is a Pinkie who wants to kill."
Pinkamena mouthed the word No! but, just as before, it was soundless.
"Just... why?" Rainbow choked out. "What happened to you?"
The obstruction in her mouth cleared itself, but only for a moment. "I-"
Rainbow cut her off. "Do you still remember what we used to do together? All the pranks we pulled?"
Pinkamena willed herself to forget. To banish the unwanted memories from the darkest corner of her mind.
She failed.
"You helped me set up that Poison Joke trap and I lured Applejack into it... She was tiny for, like, two days until we helped cure her. Oh, we laughed so hard..." Rainbow sniffled, her voice cracking up. "How about the time we cut the power to BLU base for three months with that thundercloud? Do you remember, Pinkie?"
She didn't want to react. She really didn't. Instead, a tear leaked its way down her cheek.
"... You do." Rainbow gave a bittersweet laugh. Her tone had an edge to it. "Do you remember how much fun we had together? How much fun you had with your friend?"
Pinkamena kept her lips shut tightly. She knew, however, that the question did not warrant an answer.
"I do. And I think you do too. After all, 'one year of friendship isn't something somepony can forget so easily.'"
The last sentence hit her like a brick wall.
"Sound familiar, Pinkie?" Rainbow spat out. "You said that just now. Did you lie to me?"
She reached the end of her tether. Her resolve crumbled to dust.
Gradually, Pinkamena withdrew into the inner sanctum of her mind.
Everypony was enjoying themselves. The picnic party was a complete success, discounting the unfortunate fate of the jar of strawberry jam. Even that, in the long run, mattered very little.
Pinkie's job was complete. She was happy.
This was her paradise.
crack
"Huh?" Pinkie stared. Right before her eyes, a huge fracture manifested itself in the air.
She turned around. "Twilight? Do you know-" She stopped. The unicorn's mouth hung open, motionless. The rest of her body, too; every part of her seemed frozen in time.
Pinkie surveyed the picnic grounds, panic mounting. Each one of her friends were similarly unmoving, as if a cockatrice had gotten to them but forgot to add the greying effect.
Pinkie stared at the crack. It was widening rapidly, spreading its long, far-reaching tendrils through the air, which with every second seemed more and more like a massive crumbling portrait of Whitetail Woods than reality.
Stepping back, Pinkie heard the tap of a hoofstep on a hardened surface rather than the softer crunch on grass. She looked behind. The colour drained from her face.
An endless white expanse stretched out to infinity. Pinkie stumbled and tripped, hitting the floor.
crack
Now even the whiteness was beginning to develop its own fissures. Inch by inch, the elaborate web of cracks spread out through what was left of the world, making it buckle and crumple and fold and ultimately give way.
Everything shattered. For an instant, her hair and tail straightened themselves out, then sprung back up into poofiness just as quickly. Pinkie blinked.
She remembered.
"Did you?" Rainbow screamed in her face.
"Rainbow, I-"
"No." She growled. "You couldn't have lied to me. What you said was right. But it just makes it worse that you're going to kill me anyway."
Pinkie was speechless. She reached forward subconsciously, seeking a warm embrace to lose herself in. Rainbow stepped away and glared at her.
"No. Go away. You... you monster!"
Monster. The word echoed in her mind.
The gates to the past opened, and reality caught up with her.
"From one monster to another, you're one of the best I've ever known."
"When I fight... when I kill... nopony ever sees my face. To them, I am a soulless monster. And that's the way it has to stay."
Monster...
Monster.
Monster!
Something in her snapped.
"I AM NOT A MONSTER!" Pinkie screamed. In a fit of denial-fuelled rage, she pounced on Rainbow, axe at the ready. Within the span of a second, the blade was leveled at the throat of the petrified pegasus.
Over by the edge of the observatory, a pair of isolated speakers crackled, and the Administrator cleared his throat.
Screwball's hoof landed squarely on the second-last button. The tape recorder to her left began to play into the Canterlot observatory speakers.
Will she pass the final test?
"Attention RED team. It appears that there is a slight technical problem with your Scout's respawn point. Should she die before it can be repaired, she will not respawn." He paused. "BLU team, carry on with your work as usual. That is all."
Pinkie looked at the speaker, then back at Rainbow. The pegasus was trembling, though whether in fear or anger Pinkie did not know. Her cerise eyes were wide as she flashed back to Dustbowl.
Truth be told, even Pinkie herself, if asked, would have said that Rainbow lay against sand and not the hardened wood floor of the observatory.
The past was in her hooves.
She regarded Rainbow with a gaze of fury. Rainbow shrunk back. The edge of the fire axe, in Pinkie's eyes, became far sharper.
She had no doubt that Rainbow thought the same.
The pegasus looked up at her. "P... Pinkie? Is that you?"
She was silent.
"Pinkie?"
At last, Pinkie sighed. "No, Dashie." She raised her axe. "I'm just a monster."
She brought it down.
Screwball let out the breath she hadn't realized she was holding. With a trembling hoof, she depressed the final button.
"Processing request... Request accepted. RED Scout respawn point status: disabled."
It's finally over.
Pinkie stood over the lifeless body of her fallen friend. She might have cried, had her sheer fatigue - both physical and emotional - not drained her of the ability to feel anything. She collapsed on the floor. Her eyes, not willing to concentrate on anything in particular, instead settled upon the one thing that could possibly make her feel worse: The raging fires of a Canterlot breathing its last.
The work of the monster had claimed many. Rainbow was only its latest victim.
So, what changed? Diana asked.
"Huh?"
What made you kill her?
Pinkie looked down at Rainbow. "I... I was angry."
Don't lie to me. I'm a part of you. I can't be tricked that easily.
"... It felt like... I... I don't know how to say it."
Resignation?
"Something like that, I guess."
Why?
"Because Rainbow was right. I am a monster. I can't stop myself from killing when I get angry."
So you killed her?
"Only because that's the only part of me left that I can depend on." She gazed at her blood-stained hooves. "The monster."
But why would you kill your friend?
"Because I finally get it. I finally know why the Administrator keeps telling me that friendship's going to end up being more painful than it's worth."
Enlighten me. I want to know.
"When you have a friend, you'll be happy for a while. Maybe you'll even have the time of your life. But when their job is to hurt you as badly as they can, eventually they'll hurt you more than you can take."
So you killed her to stop her from hurting you?
"No." Pinkie hung her head low. "I killed her so I can't hurt her anymore."
... I get it.
"There's no way the Administrator's going to keep them dead forever. They'll be back, but Rainbow's going to hate me for the rest of her life."
And because of that-
"I can't hurt her feelings anymore. Not when she's not my friend."
Very, very clever. Not to mention self-sacrificing. Diana's tone softened. Does it hurt?
"... Yeah, it does. But it doesn't hurt as much as knowing that I hurt my friend."
Diana contemplated the response. Good answer.
A raspy, drawn-out hissing sound cut through her pseudo-soliloquy. Pinkie turned to the window. A vulture, its dark feathers rippling as it withdrew its wings, settled on the sill of the observatory's sole window. Fixing Pinkie with an unreadable gaze, it extended its talon and offered her the piece of paper grasped by the claw.
Pinkie got up, gave it an appreciative nod, and took the paper. She opened it and skimmed over its contents.
Dear Pinkie Pie,
By the Administrator's orders, you are to retrieve the bodies of the five mercenaries you have dispatched today and bring them back to the main base. Speed is of the essence.
Signed,
Ician
Pinkie turned to the vulture. "Who's Ician?"
I don't think it's going to tell us anything, considering that vultures don't talk. Diana reminded her.
"... That's right." Pinkie admitted. "But how do we know if these orders are real or not?"
If his name is on paper, Diana explained, it's probably his will. Not to mention that the Administrator's one of the few who know that we were sent to Canterlot at all, much less what we were sent here to do.
"How are we going to get all of them back to base? I can't carry them all by myself."
There's bound to be an abandoned wagon or two down there. Left unspoken were the words because you tore the place to pieces not long ago.
"... Okay." Pinkie nodded to the vulture. "Tell Ician that we're on it."
The vulture stared at her for a moment, giving her the Are you crazy? look. A few moments later, it just shook its head and flew off.
Perhaps you shouldn't have said 'we' when there's only one of you. Diana paused. One visible version of you, at any rate.
"Probably." Pinkie agreed. "But it's too late to change that now."
Right. Back to business. Go look out that window and see what's going on.
"But I can see it fine from here." She grew quieter. "And I really don't want to go look up close. All I see is the monster's fire."
Just go. I have a suspicion.
"Well, if you say so... I guess." Pinkie, with a clear reluctance in her step, trudged over to the window and looked. "Nothing's different."
Lean forward.
"Huh? Okay..." She did as she was told. "I don't get it. Can I go some place else now?"
Further.
"But I'm about to fall out!"
Do it.
"Okay, okay..." She was teetering on the very edge when, at last, her head breached an invisible and intangible wall of deception.
Pinkie's eyes widened. "No way..."
Do you understand now?
"Yeah..." The corners of her mouth curved upwards into a smile. Her eyes grew moist.
Are those tears I see?
"Nah." Pinkie sniffled. "Just liquid happiness."
Far below her, the last dying ember of the chaos she'd caused burned brightly; then, with a gust of wind, it was extinguished forever. The fire was gone; yet the city still stood.
Canterlot lived on.
Dear Diary:
It's finally over. My interview is finally over. I guess I feel... relieved? Angry? Sad? Maybe all of those things... but at least it's over.
When I got back to base, I asked Father about the window (after I delivered the bodies, of course). Turns out Diana's 'suspicion' was right; he cast the same spell on the window as he did on me. I only saw what I thought I would - that the monster in me triumphed over Canterlot. I guess Twilight never said anything about the burning outside because she expected to see a peaceful city and that's exactly what she got.
I'm like that, in a way. Everypony thinks they know what the Administrator's interviewer would look like, and when they see me they get exactly what they thought they would. But I'm never who they expect, because they never expect a monster.
But I do. And it's not because there's a monster in me. It's because I am the monster. I'm not just Pinkie Pie, I'm not just Diana, and I'm not just Pinkamena. I'm all three. We're all three. I have to accept all the sides of me to move on, and if that means having to be a monster sometimes then I have no choice.
Sometimes, the one who fights the monster ends up becoming one to defeat it. I can't let that happen to me.
I need to ask Father for one last favour.
- Pinkamena Diane Pie
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Well everyone, it's been a great journey. But here we are, at the end, with only the epilogue and one last short chapter left. I've learnt a lot in the 1+ year I've spent writing this, and I hope you guys enjoyed yourselves reading it. Constructive criticism is appreciated, as always, since for some reason I'm vaguely dissatisfied with how this chapter turned out.
Anyway, this isn't quite over yet. And if you think you've seen the last of Diana, or Pinkie, or Pinkamena, or Twilight, or everypony, basically, then prepare to be surprised.
EDIT: Before I forget: Upon this story's completion, I will be removing all (non-essential) Author's Notes and moving them elsewhere so as not to break the immersion of those who read the story post-completion. (ie when they read everything at once) Not sure how this affects any of you, but I just decided to put it here just in case. Or maybe just for your information.
I'm almost positive I missed something, but I have to ask about it. Is Diana part of Pinkie now, or has it always been like that somehow?
Well, this story was fantastic. I had my suspicions about Diana(solely because of her name) early on but completely forgot about it by this point. So, are you going to link the sequel in an epilogue chapter?
3523270 She always was; that's the twist.
3523270
Diana was a part of Pinkie since the events of My Little Sentry, where the Administrator says this:
This is in response to the insubordination mentioned in Part 2 of Meet the Pyro.
The hallucination spell is self-explanatory. The personality shift spell (inspired but not identical to Discord's hypnosis of the Mane 6 in The Return of Harmony) and how it works is explained in the same chapter as the insubordination.
And also, 3523547
Yes, I will link the sequel - but in the chapter after the chapter after the epilogue, which I will post when the sequel is ready.
Really long-winded, I know.
What a way to kill friendship.
So...confused... I do not at all understand now what went on in "Spectre of Death".
3525655
The "Pyro" in Spectre of Death was not Pinkie but Screwball in the Pyro's flame-retardant suit (see Part 2) who was sent to test Pinkie in two ways - one, by fighting her while she was in 'Diana' form, and two, by triggering the 'Pinkamena' side of her to measure the extent of damage she would cause to Canterlot when that happened. This is the reason why I avoided actually calling the "Pyro" fighting Diana the Pyro - because it was Screwball, not the actual Pyro.
Sorry, I know, it's confusing.