10 Years ago, before the Mane 6 gained their cutie marks, the apprentice travelling merchant Tinker Trader came to the town of Ponyville to open up trade contracts with a few residents. And there in that sleepy hamlet, his merchant's eye view of the world was brushed aside by those ponies there as casually as drawing a breath.
Now that he's back, those challenges may prove the end of everything he thinks he knows.
A story that will grow in the telling, of friendships, and of discovering them anew, worth far more and far deeper than what was ever thought possible.
Chapters (1)
After lurking 'round, I thought I might try my hand at writing something, so - Heya folks!
While I'm fairly certain this is nothing new, I'm doing it as a writing exercise and I'd love constructive criticism.
Before I read this, just wanted to point out the error in the title. It says 'then' instead of 'the'.
Now to read!
After reading...
I saw two fragments, but otherwise it looks really good tecnically. I'm interested in this character and I adore the first person. I don't see many of those here. I want to see where this is going.
>>KartalTheWriter I'm guessing you're talking about 'then apprentice travelling merchant'. That is a confusing construction and perhaps too archaic
. I'd borrowed it from news copy and book blurbs to prune the sentence. "The' would be less confusing overall. Change made. Thanks!
The second chapter is proving tricky here... I've scrapped the whole thing at least 3 times so far... I'm being way too picky