Too Shy To Say Anything

by Partycannon_

Chapter 4: Tired Mind

An animal snoring is one of the many pleasures in life. Watching a small friend as their body rises slightly just to fall, the cute noises that they make. I just can’t stop smiling and I most certainly can’t stop watching. On the other hoof when another pony snores I can’t help but to get immediately annoyed.

My tired eyes awake and scan the dark room. My animal friends from the night before slept but they weren’t making a sound, so I grabbed my pillow and prepared to throw it. Finally I found the source of the noise, a rainbow haired pegasus snoring loudly on the ground in my room. I drop the pillow and silently but quickly fly out of the room.

I closed the door and rubbed my eyelids as I sat. I was upset, not at Dashie but myself. Why was I such a bad pony? It’s not like she could help it and I was about to throw a pillow at her. All she did was want to help and I repay her by waking her up? Seriously, what is wrong with me?

I felt a tap on my hoof and I removed my hooves from my eyes. Angel looked up to me with his head tilted, he didn’t even need to make a noise. I knew he was asking what was wrong.

“Oh Angel,” I grabbed him and cuddled him gently. The heavy darkness that surrounded me vanished and was replaced by a gentle smile on my face. I pulled him away and he grinned, seemingly happy to help. Angel made some noises and I translated them rather easily.

“I’m up because I’m a bad pony,” my head hangs low. The bunny continued.

“Rainbow Dash helped me so much yesterday and I woke up ready to throw a pillow at her. I’m such a terrible friend,” Angel sighed before making more noise.

“No, it is a big deal. It doesn’t matter that I never did throw the pillow, I was about to and that’s all that matters,” I hid my face from my small friend. The woodland creature continued.

“I am not too hard on myself,” I whispered quietly.

I felt Angel wrap his small paws around my hoof and I couldn’t help but to grin. There we sat in silence for what felt like an eternity. Before my tiredness engrossed me there was a knock at the door. Me and Angel sat up and looked to the front door just out of view.

I got up and made my way down the stairs before stopping at the front of the door. I looked sneakily through the window and the dead of night was very present, almost as much as a pink fluffy mane. Feelings inside of me twisted and melted, eventually I opened the door.

“Hiya Fluttershy,” Pinkie Pie smiled.

“H-Hi, Pinkie,” I stammered out.

The pink party horse stood outside, looking at me expectedly. Sweat began trickling down my face. What was I missing? Why isn’t she saying anything? Think Fluttershy, think.

“W-Would you l-like to come in?” I asked with all the courage I could muster.

“Absolutely!” in a smile, Pinkie hopped inside. “I got something for you,” she said quickly, digging her hoof in her mane. She took out a large bag of bird seed and I staggered back. How did she keep that in her mane?

“I saw you at the carnival yesterday, I never ever thought you would do something like that. So then I thought to myself; why would you do that? Then I thought about Harry, the bear and thought that you probably did it for the animals. I asked my friends at the carnival and they all said that you did it to get ownership of all the animals. Then I thought; WOW! Fluttershy really loves animals and I didn’t know if you had any bird seed so I brought you some after I got a feeling that you were awake,” she rambled and my tired mind couldn’t keep up.

“Wha-” escapes my tired lips.

“I brought you a bag of bird seed. So, uh,” Pinkie fidgeted. “I was actually wondering about something Fluttershy,” she moved one of her hooves on the ground in a rotation. I knew how she felt in that very instant, actually I felt that way right now. The wavering voice, the unfocused fidgeting, she wants to say something but it can’t come out. No matter how hard you push yourself, it's always like this. Maybe I should say something? It’s always easier if somepony says it for you but what is she wanting to say? Will I even be able to say it if I know what it is?

“Fluttershy, are you my friend? I’m really, really sorry about the party. There was no ill will I promise,” she said it, she said what she wanted to say. She isn’t like me, she is far stronger than me.

“Of course you my friend, why wouldn’t you think that?” I got closer, my worried heart quickly thumped loud in my chest.

“Really?” flashes of hope dance in her fantastic eyes. I nod and it felt as though time skipped, the ground met my back and Pinkie laid above me, her hooves wrapped around me.

“I was so worried that you didn’t want to be my friend,” she smiled. My face began to heat up and my hooves didn’t know where to go. Finally I placed my forehooves around my friend.

I am so weak, my mouth opened but I bit my lower lip. There was something that I wanted to say, my body yelled, screamed, begging to be said. What did it want me to say? My body didn’t answer however.

“Hey Fluttershy, where is-” Rainbow Dash’s tired voice came from the stairs before halting. Pinkie jumped off of me and I shot up quickly. Rainbow’s face was bright red as she stared at both of us.

“Hiya, you must be Rainbow Dash, right?” Pinkie started.

“Y-Yeah and you’re Pinkie Pie,” Dashie stated.

“Yes sir-e bob,” she laughed.

“Fluttershy, you stay here. Pinkie, meet me in the kitchen,” the pegasus said as she flew to the other room. Me and Pinkie looked at each other and she gave me a shrug as she followed Rainbow.

They were both out of view and I finally remembered to breathe. My face cooled off and my brain started to work again. I don’t think that I ever saw Rainbow blush, did we do something bad? Was she just too shy to meet a new pony? I shook my head, come on Fluttershy, its Rainbow Dash. So, why was she blushing and what are they talking about?

I want to talk to Pinkie Pie, why is Rainbow talking to her? They aren’t friends are they? I shook my head again, what are you talking about Fluttershy? Why can’t my mind just work, this always happens when I think about her.

“Fluttershy.”

What did I want to say to her earlier? My emotions are all over the place. I’m used to not being able to say anything but why is this so different?

“Hey, Fluttershy.”

So many unanswerable questions. Is life normally this complicated? Maybe Rainbow Dash would know what’s wrong with me, probably not.

“FLUTTERSHY!” Rainbow yelled and I gave a small squeak.

“W-W-What?” I asked worriedly.

Dashie sighed. “You were stuck in that head of yours again.”

“Oh, sorry,” I hung my head low.

“Don’t worry about it. Me and Pinkie cleared up any confusion so we are all good now,” the pegasus said nonchalantly.

“What confusion? Oh, did I do something?” I asked, already condemning myself.

“What? No, Pinkie Pie was the- nevermind. Anyways, we should probably get a few more hours of shut eye before morning.”

“The birdseed is in the kitchen Fluttershy. Have a good night you two,” Pinkie bounced from the kitchen out the front door.

“Goodnight,” I whisper.

I followed Rainbow up the stairs, she flew into a collection of pillows with content. I slowly got back into my bed but sleep was not at the forefront of my mind.

“Rainbow, can I ask a question?” I ask cautiously.

“Sure,” she answered tiredly.

“Does it mean something when you can’t stop thinking about somepony and you get tongue tied when you meet them?” I asked as I tossed in bed.

“Don’t you always get tongue tied when talking to other ponies?” she asked but I just stayed quiet with a frown.

“Sorry Flutters, I don’t know.”

“It’s okay. Thank you anyways.”

Next thing I knew the week started to fly by. I found a nice cave nearby for Harry. Angel helped me buy some bird houses from a pony in town named Burnt Oak. The flying squirrel made himself a nice home in one of the nearby trees. Eventually more animals gravitated to my home and began settling in. I finally started to call the cottage my home and Angel started to help me keep track of all our new companions. Yet not a day went by that Pinkie Pie didn’t enter my mind. Not getting enough sleep was also a constant.

I entered my home, feeding all the animals takes a lot of time out of your day. Now it was the odd part of the day, while most of the time I started to follow a schedule this was the one part where I had plenty of free time. I was always unsure what to do but if I don’t start doing something soon I’ll become trapped in my head until Angel snaps me out of it. I looked at the bookshelf built into the wall and noticed a few books that were left by the past owners.

I finally picked out a book and started to read. It was a book that held many lullabies, while I could never admit to it, I loved to sing. There were many songs and most were childish but some held legends of the Mare in the Moon and other fairy tales, they usually held an almost sinister tone so I avoided them. Finally I landed on one called; Hush Now, Quiet Now. I repeated it over and over, with every word my body grew more relaxed.

The relaxation was rather short however as the door to my house busted open. An orange mare flew inside with a dog gripped in her teeth. The dog whimpered and I shot up instantly.

“Leave them there, go to the kitchen and get the first aid kit,” I said quickly and the orange pony laid down the dog on a pillow.

“What’s wrong with them?” I asked worriedly as I scanned the puppy.

“Ah don’t know, Ah found her limping and raced over here as quick as a whip,” she answered and I immediately looked to her legs.

The orange mare spat the first aid on the ground next to me and I worked quickly to find where the pain was. Finally I found it and I started the tests right away to find out what was wrong. I might not have been living on the ground for very long but I did meet my animal friends whenever I could. This was far from my first medical emergency, I’m just glad to have first aid this time. I did feel the worried gaze of the pony behind me and it started to bother me as the adrenaline wore off.

“Please wait outside, she is going to be fine,” I promised. It wasn’t a baseless lie but it was one nevertheless. She nodded and made her way outside. Finally being able to breathe I start to work.

I finished caring for her, thankfully it wasn’t severe and will be able to heal in a few days. Now it was time, not for the most awful part but it was time for the most difficult. I left the cottage and right outside the orange mare stood, seemingly staring off in the distance. She seemed to be a farm pony, with apples for her cutie mark and a western hat dawning her head. One you tend to see at rodeos.

She noticed me and glanced over, her pupils widened and she grew stiff. I wasn’t sure how to react, my terrible knowledge of social situations once again showing. Should I say something, well of course I had to.

“Wow,” escaped her mouth. I froze, was something in my mane? Did I have blood on me? I looked like a wreck didn’t I?

“Erm, sorry.” she coughed. “How’s Winona? Is she going to be okay?”

“Yes, she is going to be alright. She needs a lot of rest and needs to stay off that leg. I’m more than capable of watching over her for the next few days if you need,” I hid slightly in my mane as I talked. For some odd reason I didn’t feel the same devastating weight on my voice as I spoke to her. Maybe I’m improving? No, is it because I’m talking about an animal?

“I’d hate to be a bother more than Ah am already,” She looked away.

“It’s okay, I love taking care of animals,” I answered.

“Yeah, that’s what Pinkie said.”

“You’re friends with Pinkie?” I looked at the orange mare as I stepped forward.

“O’ course, Ah think everypony in Ponyville is friends with that mare,” she giggled slightly.

“Then you have to let me watch Winona,” I said childishly.

“I don’t have a lot of bits.”

“I’ll do it for free.”

“She is quite the energetic dog, are you sure you can handle her?”

“That poor dog? She’ll be the easiest pet yet.”

The orange mare kicked her hoof in the earth for a second before answering. “Alright, but if there is any problem whatsoever, please let me know.”

“I will. Um, actually, where do you live?” I just realized I knew nothing about her.

“Oh shoot, Ah didn’t even introduce myself. Hi, Ah’m Applejack. Ah live on Sweet Apple Acres, it’s actually directly north of here. Just over that hill over there is a white fence and a ton of apple trees. Just head to the big red barn in the middle if you need me” she said with a large smile.

“I’m Fluttershy, it's nice to meet you,” I think I did that right?

“Likewise, always good meeting new friends,” she nodded.

“Y-Yeah, well, I better go back and watch Winona. Can never be too careful,” I said as I started for the cottage.

“Wait… Can Ah come back tomorrow and check up on her?” she asked. I cringed slightly at the question. I don’t know Applejack, she seems like a nice mare but having somepony that I hardly know visiting always fills me with dread. With my answer clearly made, I spoke.

“Of course,” I looked back with a smile. Every time Fluttershy, you do this every time. Why must I make life harder?

“Great! Ah’ll see you then,” she waved.

Admittedly I hardly sleep, so it wasn’t much different from the rest of the week but this time it was for a different reason. I didn’t think about Pinkie at all as my mind ran wild with crazy visions of my guest saying terrible things. I hardly knew Applejack so the fantasies were far fetched enough to almost be laughable. My silly imagination did let me know that I was scared of what the day had prepared, not that I needed any help figuring that out.

Looking out the window it seemed that the day was starting without me. I began my morning routine which now included watching over Winona. It was almost startling how well the pup listened, of course she didn’t fully trust me right away but a bowl of juicy food fixed that rather quickly. It seemed that she really didn’t like to take medicine but downed it all the same, I only wish Angel would do that if he ever grew sick. I have a feeling I’d have to fight him tooth and nail to get even a small pill down his throat.

The rest of the morning went rather well. Being able to keep the inevitable visit at the back of my mind was very helpful to keep the day going. Once my free time found me I swiftly began cleaning, the cottage wasn’t really messy but unlike reading, cleaning made it harder for my mind to wonder.

Without a thought I started to hum a simple tune. The open windows found themselves quickly occupied with many of the birds from the circus and they all swiftly joined the song. The first time they joined in I was rather startled but I began to grow used to it after the fourth time. I never realized how many times a day I started to hum tunes until my feathery friends started to join. Everytime my friends manage to match my tune I add more notes, they actually add small notes themselves which I try to incorporate. It’s by no means a competition as we all have fun creating new songs. We enter a trance and our bodies enter auto pilot.

I finished cleaning the bookshelf while in song so I turned to the rest of the room and noticed an orange pony. She stood completely still with her jaw agape, the door behind her was open, I then realized that I accidentally left it ajar. The orange farm pony held a basket of apples that dropped to the floor and I was too distracted to hear the noise. I subconsciously end the song as my expanded wings tied back to my barrel. My face suddenly turned very hot and I should probably go find a hole to hide in for the rest of time.

“Wow,” Applejack shook her head in disbelief. “That was the best darn music Ah have ever heard,” she wore a large grin.

"Sorry," I whimpered as I curled up in my hooves.

“You should have told me to bring my guitar,” her joyous voice said.

"Sorry," my voice cracked and my tears began to flow.

“Sugarcube, are you? Consarnit Applejack,” with worry the earth pony pulled me into a hug. “Shh, it's okay sugarcube.”

"Sorry," I repeated as I grappled my hooves around the farm pony.

“There ain’t nothing to be sorry about,” she said in a relaxed but sure voice.

"Sorry."

“Shh, just let it all out,” her sisterly tone calmed me slightly.

I felt oddly comforted by Applejack, within her hooves I felt better somehow. Like I wasn’t bothering her, like she wanted to be here. I was a silly pony for crying, of course I knew this but I have a feeling she wouldn’t think that. I soon stopped crying and rested my muzzle in her shoulder. She smelt like earth and for some reason I couldn’t help but giggle.

“Are you feeling better?” Applejack pulled away in a smile.

“Thank you,” I looked up to her.

“Would you like to talk about it?” she offered a hoof to pull me up and it almost felt wrong not to take it. I shook my head from side to side.

“Well, if you ever need to, just let me know,” in a grin she pulled me close.

“Thank you Applejack,” I wrapped my hooves around her with a grin of my own.

Author's Note:

Next chapter might take a little longer. Hope you enjoyed this chapter. I am preparing stories for October. Love myself some horror.

Comments

[new55]

That was a good chapter goodluck with the next one.