We're here. Where is Vodka?
Nikolai Berlinski and Equestria, with no Zombies?!?!
By Awesomeman17
The 6 mares and the knocked out drunk were approaching the city of Canterlot and noticed a distinct wave of black around it.
"How did they even break into Canterlot? My brother is..." Twilight realized that her brother was... "on his honeymoon, oh no."
"Don't worry Twi, we whupped those changeling flanks and we can do it again!" Rainbow said.
"Rainbow's super, duper, luper right! We can do it!" Pinkie Pie said.
Nikolai snorted and started to wake up. "Huh, where am I? Why am I..." Nikolai then realized what was happening, "LET ME DOWN! LET ME DOWN!"
"Nikolai, calm down."
"NO APPLEJACK, I WON'T FALL DOWN!"
"Ah said 'calm down', not 'fall down'."
Nikolai then gave the girliest screech he could muster, harming both the mares and the chariot drivers.
"We're falling down!"
Fluttershy then looked at Twilight, "Panic?"
"Panic!"
And then they all yelled as they fell into town square.
"What is with wrong with that chariot?" Dempsey asked, pointing at the accused chariot.
Celestia looked at what Dempsey was pointing and on her face was a panicked look. "Oh no, move move move!"
"Ah Shit!"
The chariot crashed into a large hoard of changelings, but the pullers seemed alright. From the wreckage came a familiar purple unicorn.
"Twilight!"
"Princess Celestia!" The two ponies hugged each other, they were so worried about each other.
"What the fuck is... AHH FUCK, STUPID BUG-ASS MOTHERFUCKER!!!" Dempsey knifed the offending changeling in the skull before looking at the two ponies. "What?"
"Princess, who is that?"
At that point, an untied Nikolai, along with the other bearers of the Elements of Harmony climbed out of the wreckage. Nikolai was really pissed off and was ready to yell at Rarity for no reason when...
"Nikolai?"
"Dempsey? Oh, hell yes, it's you! We've got drinking to do..."
"Yeah, yeah that's fine, now let's kick bug ass and get this story over with now."
"Da Tank, let's."
Rainbow flew over to the two men, when she recovered from the shock.
"Do you know this guy Nikolai?"
"Da, this is Tank Dempsey."
"Oh, this is the Dempsey you mentioned."
"And you are?" Dempsey was now confused.
"I'm Rainbow Dash, fastest flier in all of Equestria!"
"Right, and I'm... I'm..." A huge force of changelings were rushing in at Dempsey right at that moment. "Shit."
Dempsey readied his M203 and fired in the center of the hoard, exploding them into bits and pieces.
"Fuck, yeah."
The Mane 6 were shocked, but Celestia was already used to it, and Nikolai,
"That was excellent kill Dempsey, I must share vodka with you later... maybe not."
"This way!" Celestia needed to move towards the castle for defense. The others answer without question.
THUMP!
"There are thousands of creepy bug people... but not as creepy as third wife."
"Huh, oh, you must be the human that was in Ponyville. I am Princess Celestia, and..."
"I do not give shit." Celestia was now offended that he would just talk to her like that, Dempsey at least was kind enough to make sure he behaved. "Tank, are the barricades done?"
"Yep Nikolai, these things are pretty stupid so we got time for introductions."
The group of 9 gathered around in a circle. Dempsey introduced himself first.
"The name's Tank Dempsey, U.S. Marine and general bad-ass."
Twilight had a theory "Let me guess, you were one of the guys who blew up a planet." Celestia was confused, but intrigued.
"How did you... Nikolai."
"Yes Dempsey."
"What made you think it was a good idea to say we blew up a planet, 'our planet'."
"Well, I was drunk."
"Right. You're a dumbass Nikolai."
Rarity decided to join in, "Tell me about it."
"Rarity..." Fluttershy had a hoof put over her mouth, Rarity seemed to like this man.
"Yeah, what he do to you?"
"He insulted my perfume, called me uncouth names and blew up my toilet."
Dempsey was confused, "How the hell does someone blow up a toilet?"
"I clogged it with my shit and tried to plunge it! Is that so bad?"
"Nikolai, I just about had it with this place."
"Yeah, the author should be ashamed of himself for making Nikolai do all those things!"
Dempsey looked at Pinkie and smiled, "Yeah he should, should he?" The two then looked... at... me.
Oh crap.
"Do a time skip author, or we will give you hell."
"Yeah, what he said!"
Fine...
-5 hours later-
Everypony was confused except Dempsey and Pinkie. Everypony was also covered in changeling blood. All the changelings were either dead or captured. Celestia was the one who spoke up.
"What just... never mind, let's just be glad it's over."
"Yeah, let's." Twilight was the most confused but let Pinkie Pie be Pinkie Pie, and Tank be Tank apparently.
"Alrighty now, we should go to bar to celebrate."
"Nikolai, you are already drunk."
"Anyways, let's just get cleaned up, and talk about what we need to do now." Celestia needed a shower badly.
"Yeah, I came to get fat-ass here, so now I can leave with him."
"You came here for me? Oh Dempsey, I kn..."
"You owe me 3 drinks, one for that time at Shangri-La, the other two for putting me in this mess."
The mares were confused, but it was obvious Dempsey came here for his own personal gain.
"Fine, let us get washed up."
"Yeah, time to end this chapter."
"What Cha..."
-Chapter End-
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LOL... As a big fan of black ops and mlp fim this was great and i loved ever bet of it *CLAP 1 CLAP 2 CLAP 3*
Are you sure your not the drunk instead of Nikolai?
1328071 Nah, not legal to drink.
I got 35 favorites, 28 vote ups and 52 comments (including mine), Thank you for this support. New chapters wednesday, school and stuff, thank the Jews.
Here are tag explanations:
Romance: Rarishy shipping
Dark: Nikolai has bright way of saying dark ideas.
Comedy: It's Nikolai Berlinski, what more do you need?
Crossover:
Adventure: Action scenes.
Human:
1328891 ZOMBIE KILLING TIME!
1333097 You didn't read the title, did you? I'll say this, Equestria is going to be completely zombie-free throughout the entire story. So please, read for lols and action against a somewhat obvious foe.
wait... So does Dempsey have the pinkie sense too?
1333321 nah, he just can break the fourth wall more blatantly.
1333339 oh okay
1333125 Zombies, bug ponies, what's the difference?