Nikolai Berlinski and Equestria, with no Zombies?!?!

by Awesomedude17

Night in the Vodka Farm... Wait, it's not Vodka Farm?

Nikolai Berlinski and Equestria, with no Zombies?!?!
By Awesomedude17

Nikolai was drunk, Nikolai was happy. But if there is one thing he is most happy about, it is that Fluttershy said he could have not one, not two, but eight bottles of vodka. The catch is that he would keep her 'relationship' a secret. He didn't like Rarity, actually, he hated her more than Takeo, but he somewhat liked the pegasus, so he let it be. He soon reached his makeshift bed and laid down.

"Ahhh, this is life. Eight bottles vodka, Dempsey here to fight and no fucking zombies. Things are looking up for Nikolai."

"They sure are."

Nikolai sat up to see Applejack, with one difference.

"Hey, where is your hat?"

"Oh, it's in mah room. It may be the only thing that mah father left me, but it is in the end, it is just a hat."

"Wait... what..."

"That is something you don't want to know." Applejack had gotten over it many years ago already.

"Fine enough for me. You'll never guess what happened on way here!"

"What?"

"Butter pony, or whatever her name is..."

"Fluttershy."

"Right... she gave me eight bottles vodka, but I have to be quiet about her... preference."

Applejack knew what he meant, but much of Ponyville knew Fluttershy was a fillyfooler. "Ya may want to choose ya words better. Most of Ponyville already knows that Fluttershy... swings the way she does."

"I still do not care. Frankly, as long as I got vodka and a place away from Rarity, I am happy."

"Right..."

The two were silent, but Nikolai had a sudden, random, yet an unlikely thought, Does she find Nikolai sexy? I don't think it is good idea. Well, not to ponies anyway.

"I am going to sleep now."

"Ya better have some water." Applejack was indeed carrying a bucket of water. "It helps with hangovers. Ah should know."

"Alright, better not ruin my buzz." Nikolai drank as much as he could, then suddenly realized something, "This did ruin my buzz! FUCK!" Nikolai threw the bucket on the ground and fell back. "Go away, now."

"Ah... Ah'm..."

"NOW!"

Applejack took a step back. She decided that this problem will be over soon.

Ah horseapples, why is Nikolai so dang interesting. Ah'm not attracted to him, but he is so... interesting.

And so Applejack went to her home. Saturday was tomorrow.

That meant school would be out and Apple Bloom would be with her friends.

---

(A/N For effect, pace your reading so that the intro of song works with cave scene, main stream of music is the chaos and outro is with the dream ending.)

Dempsey was dreaming an unusual dream. It involved flying in the sky in a chariot and appearing near a cave. He tried to comment, but he just couldn't. He also had no control over his body. He walked over to the entrance and said,

"So this is the cave from my dream, I'd probably think it's weird that I'm saying this in my dream. No, I did think it was weird. The music was fitting though as it worked its magic." Oh yeah, this music. Why this author?

What, I like deadmau5.

What's a dead mouse?

Dream Dempsey turned to the chariot "Thanks for the ride Celestia!"

"You are welcome, Tank." Celestia then flew away.

"Alright, what's inside this dream cave." Dempsey walked in and then... whiteness. Dempsey could finally speak.

"What was that supposed to be?" The dream then became chaotic, colors moving in a random manner and strange, illogical things were going on in the background. The word deadmau5 then appeared in front of Tank's face.

"Dead... mau... 5?"

It's pronounced deadmouse.

"Whatever..."

Then a creepy laugh echoed.

"Who's there?"

"Well, if you must know..." A creature that looked like a mess of animals appeared in front of Dempsey, "I am Discord, and I am going to help you get home."

"Why should I get help from a person who's mother looked like she whored herself?"

Discord deadpanned, then snapped his fingers, somehow zipping up Dempsey's mouth.

"Don't try to struggle, This will help you escape, but don't mention that I was in this dream, or else Celestia won't help."

Wait, what? Why not?

"Goodbye, human. I hope you give Richtofen hell..."

Dempsey's eyes widened, How'd he know Richtofen?

Discord laughed as he faded from existence and the chaos ends.

---

Dempsey woke up to the smell of eggs cooking. His stomach growled from need and want.

"Damn, I'm really hungry. I wonder how Tak and Sam are doing?"

Dempsey got up and walked into the kitchen and saw Rarity place a couple plates, both with eggs and toast. Rarity then noticed the American.

"Ahh, Dempsey. Sit down and have some breakfast."

"Sure, I had a strange dream last night."

"Really?"

"Yeah, it involved a cave."

Rarity pondered about this 'cave' and said, "Talk to Twilight about it."

"Yeah, sure. Great eggs, by the way."

"Thank you. But they aren't that special."

"Well when you've been where I've been, this is an amazing change of pace."

"Nikolai did mention zombies. How did you manage to go on it that nightmarish world?"

"By killing every last one of them."

"Oh..."

"I noticed you hate Nikolai... a lot."

Rarity became interested, "Yes, he is an incompetent buffoon."

"Well, I know a way for you to get back at him for the hell he has given to you already."

Rarity was not one for payback, but... "I'm listening."

"Besides heights, he is afraid of one other thing."

---

"Oh. Hangover is not as bad as last night. Applejack is right."

Nikolai stood up and was ready to greet the day, that is until...

*Howling noises*

"Oh no..."

Comments

[Hegamonia]

I wonder what that could be hmm...

[Awesomedude17]

1339673 who?

[Joy Stick]

I have a feeling the howling isn't wolves...

[Gryphon Gaming]

Discord used to be my favorite character from mlp fim. But now it is Chrysalis.
p.s Dempsy and nikolia are gonna join discord and the changelings, aren't they?

[Awesomedude17]

1340090 Whoa now, let's not jump to conclusions. Discord isn't truly evil, just a bit of a dick imo.

[Gryphon Gaming]

true

[dakingofmuffins]

rarity you bitch i don't like rarity,

[infinite_mass]

Oh, it's another fucking dog show.

[Hurgusburgus]

1339684 FETCH ME THEIR SOULS