Chapter 39 - You Can Always Trust a Dishonest Man to Be Dishonest; It's The Honest Ones You Should Worry About
There were two things that Flam, traveling salespony nonpareil, knew to be true in life. First, that between him and his twin brother Flim, he was obviously the superior salespony and leader of their outfit (it was the moustache, really. It lent him an air of dignified sophistication that his brother's fifteen minute head start on life just couldn't match).
The second was that for every brilliant money-making scheme they came up with, there were a dozen backwater towns ready to fall for it before anyone caught wise.
Their latest venture was only on town number five and had already proven unrivaled success. A miracle curative tonic. Healing in a bottle (or at least, sugar water and minotaurine and an outstanding sales pitch). With each new town the bits just kept rolling in, and by the time anyone started to question the placebo they were off to the next. They'd made so much money that for the first time in their years of questionable business enterprises, they'd expanded operations!
True, hiring a single extra employee wasn’t a monumental expansion, but it was still a clear sign that their star was finally on the rise.
Silver Shill wasn't much of a salespony, but as a crowd-raiser, rumor-spreader, and audience plant, he was stupendous! Fantastic, even! Watching him throw off a pair of crutches and break into dance after gulping down their swill was like watching a Bridleway performance. It was surely an act of destiny that he and his brother had snatched him up before some big acting agent set their sights on the stallion. Town after town, show after show, he played his part brilliantly and earned his keep (that being two square meals a day, all the tonic he could ask for, and a wealth of the most valuable currency of all: practical on-the-job experience).
Or at least, that had been the case until today.
"What do you mean you can't find anyone?!" Flim demanded.
Silver Shill quaked like a leaf under the completely reasonable question. Without his frailty-implying fake glasses and array of medical props he didn’t look nearly as miserable and scrawny as usual, but even with a healthy physique he still had a backbone like a wet noodle. "T-That's exactly it, M-Mr. Flim, sir. I went all around the town—all over—but nopony was interested."
"That’s ridiculous!" Flam countered, "You're telling me there's nobody in this hick town who's even the slightest bit interested in a magical miracle curative tonic?!"
"Not a one?" Flim added as they fell into a rhythm.
"Not a soul? Did you check all the usual places?"
"The hospital?"
"The retirement home?"
"The bingo hall?"
"Yes, yes, and yes. And the fitness center and the veterinarian's and the day spa. I even thought to hang around the school to look for self-conscious teens but, well, they were all too young to have body-image issues yet.” Silver shook his head. “Best I could get was polite refusals."
Flam scoffed. For all his acting chops, Silver Shill was an unoriginal liar without a script. That much ground covered in one morning? More likely their star employee was getting a bit too big for his britches and turning lazy. Too lazy to even come up with a believable excuse. "What am I supposed to believe then? That this a town filled with nothing but perfectly healthy ponies?”
"Well… effectively... yes. That about sums it up," Silver cringed. If he were a turtle he'd have been completely inside his shell. "Apparently there's some mare in town who cooks up cookies or potions or something that heals wounds, cures sickness, and generally makes you feel better. The rumors didn’t all agree, but in the end no one seems interested in trying a new product when there’s a local one they trust."
That sounded... familiar. Intimately familiar. In fact, it was little more than a less catchy rephrasing of the chorus for the song he'd come up with to help sell their miracle tonic.
Which meant one thing and one thing only.
Someone was cutting in on their grift.
He locked a side eye with Flim, whose grim expression showed that his brother's train of thought had mirrored his own.
"Flim, dear brother mine, it seems someone's stolen our schtick."
"Besmirched our brand."
"Ripped-off our recipe."
"And didn't even have the decency to pay us any royalties." Flim shook his head in exaggerated sadness.
"What say we go pay a visit to this local dealer of miracles?"
"A ‘it'd be a shame if something were to happen’ visit or a ‘cut us in or we'll expose you first’ visit?"
"Let's see where the afternoon takes us."
It was entrancing to watch Fluttershy work. The long strand of wire twisted and danced between her hooves like a living thing as the pegasus bent and shaped it along the guidance of some ineffable instinct.
"It's actually really simple."
It absolutely was not.
"No harder than knit one, purl two."
And then another twenty steps undiscovered by Equestrian knitters.
Rarity blinked and another foot of wire vanished into Fluttershy’s web.
Over and under, through and across, back and forth through loops and eyelets it went. Rarity considered herself something of a deft hoof at weaving (not that the opportunity often arose, more’s the pity) but even with her own magically gifted skill she had her doubts whether she could manage such a complex pattern, let alone freehoof with neither a guide nor tools. Not to mention with metal wire. Yarn and thread were troublesome enough, thank you very much.
It made her feel like she was five again, watching her Grandmother do needlepoint at blinding speed while still carrying on an argument with Grandfather in the other room.
Minutes passed in the blink of an eye then Fluttershy was done. The fine wire that had stretched across her kitchen and down the stairs was weft and coiled and practically macramed into an intricate little bundle barely twice the size of a postage stamp.
Fluttershy picked up two little plastic discs she'd prepared earlier and sandwiched the mesh between them. A little pressure around the edges and a few pops and clicks announced that they'd snapped together into a single piece.
Her latest badge was done.
It wasn't exactly fashionable—the shiny plastic façade made it look like something designed for preteen fillies to waste their allowance on—but given she'd watched Fluttershy cut the plastic out of an old shampoo bottle with a pair of safety scissors, it looked surprisingly well made. Exactly how a bit of wire, plastic, and crystal managed to create magic was beyond her, but that was why sussing out the mechanics of it was Twilight's department (and Moon Dancer’s, but the less spoken of her the better).
Even if she didn't understand it, she couldn't deny the results. Especially not when her appraisal backed them up.
<<FS Emblem>>
A hoofmade magical badge. Used change the wearer's coat and mane colors to match that of Fluttershy
To be perfectly truthful, that was more than confirmation enough, but just because she didn't have to personally test it did not mean she didn't want to.
Because she absolutely did.
"Done," Fluttershy announced. "How was my time?"
She hadn't been paying attention, but that was why she had a stopwatch. "A touch over twelve minutes."
Fluttershy pursed her lips and frowned. "Hm. It didn't feel that long when I was doing it."
"That, darling, is what we call 'getting in the zone'." She held out a hopeful hoof. "May I?"
"Of course. You can keep it. I can't really use this one."
Rarity had to restrain herself from snatching it right out of her friend's hoof. It clipped onto her mane with ease, despite not having a proper clasp. More of that same strange magic it used. But she found she couldn’t care less about the hows and whys of it as she marveled at new colors spilling across her mane and coat like paint poured on canvas.
"I know Twilight and her schoolmates are fawning over your cooking, but I think these are really even more marvelous." She stroked her mane, now pink as Fluttershy's own. Better and more natural looking than any dye job she'd ever seen. Perfectly even color from root to tip. Oh the things these could do to the fashion scene. "And they're all that easy to make?"
“It varies," Fluttershy replied. She refilled her tea from the now lukewarm pot and took a deep sip. "I get a little tired if I try and make too many in a row, but it's not bad. And the emblems are easier than the badges."
It was an odd naming scheme, but Rarity elected not to comment. Fluttershy had said it simply 'felt right' and that was that. There was a lot of that going around when it came to their new abilities.
“It’s really finding the right materials that’s the hardest part. The simpler ones can use plastic but the fancier ones need metal. It doesn't matter what kind, but it has to be the right color." She nudged the lightning bolt-shaped emblem that Rarity knew could endow her with Rainbow Dash's woefully underutilized locks. The rainbow spiral beneath bold lettering made it actually rather fetching. "This one was one of the hardest to make so far. I had to take apart some Hearth's Warming decorations for all the red and green."
"Strange how that's all it needs,” Rarity observed. “With such simple materials you'd think somepony would have discovered the technique before now."
To her surprise, Fluttershy shook her head. "I don't think they would. The wire has to be just right or nothing happens and every badge has a different pattern. Moondancer was trying to understand them the other day and she said that the bead of crystal in the center takes in magic from nearby, then the wire... it... um..." She shuffled awkwardly and her eyes crossed as strove to remember precisely. "She said that I ‘produce an unknown magical energy which is captured and expressed in a three-dimensional spellform through the wire’s geometric alignment which acts akin to a physicalized runestring but without actual characters because why not at this point it makes as much sense as enchanted jumping boots'. Then she started grumbling about not having better equipment to measure it with."
"She does seem to do that rather often," Rarity agreed and sipped her tea to hide the fact that she really hadn't understood much of the explanation (though she was quietly impressed at Fluttershy’s recall). The mathematical and theoretical side of magic had never been her forte. It was fine tea. Overtones of tart apple that almost concealed a faint earthy hint of mushroom. Quite good, if unusual.
She couldn’t help but notice that Fluttershy’s diet seemed to have more apples to it as of late. Perhaps there was something going on between her and Applejack?
The thought tickled her imagination, but now wasn't the time to be speculating on her friends' theoretical romances. (That would come later, back home with her charts.)
For as much as she loved spending quality time with her friends (and as much as she was interested in Fluttershy's lovely trinkets), she'd had more pressing matters clouding her thoughts.
Namely, the fact that something was wrong with Fluttershy.
They'd all noticed it. (Well, she'd noticed it and was sure Applejack and Pinkie had too. Twilight had been... distracted lately, and Rainbow Dash would never win any prizes for her observation skills. Suffice to say it was worthy of note, regardless whether her friends had picked up on it.)
The pegasus had been more reclusive than usual, more twitchy and disquieted. Something was stressing her beyond her usual anxieties.
Rarity’s first guess had been she’d received some unsettling memories alongside with her new abilities. Memories of combat training hadn’t fazed Applejack overmuch, but she could imagine that learning the ins and outs of anatomy might have been a much more traumatizing affair for the squeamish pegasus. But that idea had landed dead in the water. Fluttershy had been more than happy to wax poetic about how her new medical knowledge was helping her provide better treatment for her animal friends and positively gushed about how her carnivorous plant creation was developing (to wit: in increasingly unsettling ways. There was little Rarity would not do for her friends, but she still desperately hoped she’d never be tapped for plant-sitting duty. The mere thought of it sent a cold shiver down her spine. Flowers were not meant to have teeth.) If anything she seemed less anxious when talking about setting a broken bone than otherwise.
The badges clearly weren't giving her any undue stress either, which meant she was back to the drawing board.
She flinched as the tingle of a new power ran up her horn before fizzling out. Fluttershy’s wings likewise twitched in surprise.
“Yours?” the pegasus asked.
“Not mine. A shame. I feel I’m overdue for one.”
“I wonder who got it.”
Across town, in the depths of a zoning-regulation-violating basement expansion deep beneath Sugarcube Corner, Pinkie Pie cut off the gas to her welding torch and lifted her mask.
“Huh. That’s… weird.” Her ear twitched. “Did I get… I think I did…” Her back leg half-kicked of its own accord. “Yep yep, definitely a new one. But then why…? I don’t feel any different. No new memories. Or skills, I think.” She tapped her hooves. Squished her cheeks. Ran through a quick kinesiological assessment. “Nope, all clear there. Maybe it’s more free stuff, like my toolbox? I’d better go tell Twilight.”
She tossed her tools back into the inky depths of her toolbox and headed up, leaving the welds to cool, their fading light casting strange shadows on her half-finished party plans and boxes of assorted scrap.
“I supposed we’ll find out in due time,” Rarity allowed. With no new insights to Fluttershy’s troubles, she mentally set the matter aside. Perhaps something would naturally come up in conversation that would provide a clue.
She fiddled with the ornament in her mane, fashionable possibilities running through her mind. “Have you ever thought about selling these? You could make quite a splash.”
Fluttershy blinked uncomprehendingly. "A splash?"
"Quite so. The biggest hurdle with fashion is that there's always some colors a pony just can't wear because it clashes with their coat. You’ve never seen Pinkie try and pull off lime green, have you? But with these, rather than picking clothes to match themselves, ponies could change themselves to match their clothes."
Fluttershy hesitated, seeming unsure. "You really think that ponies would want to buy them?"
Rarity scoffed, just firmly enough to sound classy without sounding mean. "Darling, if you'd unveiled these at Fashion Week you'd have every agency in Manehattan beating a path to your door."
The teacup clattered against the table as Fluttershy dropped it, completely forgotten. "Really? You think so?" She practically leapt over the table, unaware or uncaring of the pieces of the tea set she knocked over. "How much do you think it might make? Would some colors be better than others? What color would be the most valuable?"
Rarity reeled back—she had to, else her face wouldn't have room to move—and tried to regain her composure. Still, it seemed like a pretty solid lead on what was bothering her friend. Best to seize the moment.
“Fluttershy... I don't mean to be indelicate about it, but… are you having some sort of money troubles?"
The pegasus shrank back into her seat like a flower wilting with the sunset. Fluttershy nursed her teacup, oblivious to the fact that it now only held leaves. "Oh. Well… there's a little something. But it's not a big deal. You don't need to worry about me. I'll figure something out."
Rarity remained silent and allowed the pegasus to fret and justify and hem and haw herself into admitting more than she intended.
“It's not a big debt or anything. Well, it is big but not that big. I can manage. I just have to cut back on a few luxuries for a while. Like preening oil. And groceries.”
Slowly, Rarity gleaned the major beats of the story from Fluttershy’s nervous excuses. Something to do with unexpected fees from the government, a headache she was all too familiar with (she still remembered those panicked early days of running her own business before she learned that “running a boutique” and “being a seamstress” required separate tax forms). The problem was what to do about it. Obviously she was more than willing to help in any way she could, be it a loan, a gift, or even greasing a few frogs (favors went a long way with the elites of Canterlot). The challenge would be getting Fluttershy to accept the help.
Fluttershy's shyness expressed itself in many ways, from a hesitance to meet new ponies to a phobia of too-many-things-to-list, but one of the more insidious of the lot was her "I don't want to be a bother" mindset. Even when the issue itself would be trivial for one of her friends to solve, she just couldn't bring herself to impose on them. The pegasus could be just as stubborn as Applejack sometimes, though her refusal stemmed from shame rather than pride.
Which really just meant Rarity had to get creative. Even if Fluttershy refused her bits, there was still the option of helping her out indirectly. She had a plethora of skills to help the mare earn the money herself.
A passing notion drifted into the path of her train of thought, and the resulting collision blossomed into a truly marvelous idea. Fluttershy had a product she was eager to sell, but no experience with the market (and a lack of proper backbone needed to survive customer service). Meanwhile Rarity had an established brand, connections to ponies who'd recognize value, and the business savvy to make sure her timid friend wasn't taken advantage of.
The simple answer was to sell Fluttershy's emblems through Carousel Boutique.
It was a brilliant plan; genius, even, if she did say so herself. A way to help her friend and an offer she’d have no excuse to refuse. Fluttershy wanted to sell, after all. And so what if a little creative book-keeping meant that the pegasus ended up with the lion's share of the profit (which she'd surely protest if she knew). Rarity didn’t mind. What was a little lost profit margin compared to helping a friend (not to mention how having such an exclusive and ground-breaking accessory would help elevate her own status in the fashion world)?
A win-win all around. All she had to do was convince a mare who hated the spotlight to have a trusted friend act as an agent in her stead. Easy as a straight stitch.
She was just beginning to compose her pitch when they were interrupted by a knock at the door.
Flim was not impressed.
A quaint little cottage, cozy as could be, surrounded by nature and cute little scurrying animals? One secreted away at the edge of town, just close enough to the spooky Everfree Forest to invite mysterious rumors?
Poppycock. Utter balderdash. It was so blatantly staged he could practically smell the staff services table.
No one really lived in places like that. Only apocryphal ponies in rumors and urban myths... and also ponies trying very hard to establish a persona.
Still, somepony had invested a lot of effort into selling an image, so he was probably looking at a long term operation. Someone who had enough confidence in their snake oil that they didn't need to fear getting run out of town. Normally that'd put newcomers on the backhoof in any negotiations, but most newcomers didn't have the kind of experience he and his brother had. They were professionals; trained by the very best. In one glance at the set dressing he was confident he knew exactly what he'd find behind the cottage door.
It'd open to a plump, matronly mare (one who “definitely” wasn't stuffing her skirts with a couple of pillows) with a grandmotherly smile. She'd invite them inside and try to lower their guard with an affable demeanor and an endless supply of "homemade" cookies. She'd probably call them "dearie" and "handsome young things" before she not-so-subtly did a cold reading of their ailments and began praising the benefits of her "all natural", "herbal", "holistic" remedies.
It was a tried and true gimmick, practically an industry standard, though one he and Flam lacked certain natural assets to pull off. (More the pity. He’d worked hard to train a passable falsetto and never got the chance to put it to use.)
Still, as much as it pained him to intrude on a competitor's turf (not very, but he had some professional pride), it wouldn't do to have two groups in the same town both selling miracle cures. Giving ponies a chance to shop around and compare options would only hurt the both of them. Which meant they either had to work out a deal... or somepony needed to clear out.
They reached the door and knocked, one hoof each, in steady stereo. It always paid to present a united front.
The mare that opened it (after a long minute of clicking metal as many locks were unlocked) was a far cry from what he'd expected. Young and petite, half hidden by the door and another quarter by her own mane, with wide eyes that seemed more suited for a spooked animal than a pony.
Quite cute, really. Perhaps if things worked out amicably…
He brushed away the distracting thoughts. She couldn't be who they were looking for. An assistant maybe? The local competition's equivalent to Silver Shill?
"Hello?" she offered, a nervous squeak at the end turning the greeting into a question.
Flam seized the initiative, putting on his best salespony grin and tipping his hat he’d worn specifically so he could do just that. "How do you do, my fine filly. My brother and I are looking for one Miss Fluttershy. This wouldn't happen to be her residence, would it?"
Her already wide eyes became somehow wider. “Am I— is she in trouble?”
“Not in the slightest!" Flim riposted, his grin as wide as his brother's. "My brother and I are new in town, you see, and word on the street is there's a mare who lives around here who makes miracles in a bottle."
“Or a bundt pan, as some rumors say."
The mare froze for a second before she reached up and tapped on an odd pin in her mane he hadn’t noticed, which seemed to calm her down immediately. Some kind of nervous tic? "Oh! You're here about the remedy treats." She opened the door fully. "Yes, I’m Fluttershy. Sorry, I thought you might be from the government."
A mare after his own heart. If only she wasn't a competitor. "Perish the thought! No one wants a visit from a stuffed shirt. I say we’d be better off without the lot of them.” Following first rule of traveling salesponyship, he took the open door as an invitation to enter, his brother a step behind.
The inside of the cottage was exactly what he would have guessed from the outside. Clean, but with a tasteful clutter of knickknacks and birdhouses and tchotchkes pressed around the edges. Warm and inviting, with a faint smell of animals and loam and cooking. All it was missing was a cauldron and some bundles of dried herbs hanging from the rafters to be the spitting image of a hedge witch's cottage straight out of a storybook.
“A lovely place you have here,” Flam remarked.
“Very quaint. Very… atmospheric,” Flim added leadingly. Just a little hint to let her know they were on to her game.
She bobbed her head in a small nod. “Thank you. I’m sorry about the mess. I’d have cleaned up more if I knew more ponies were coming.”
A bit of empty humility that ignored his probe. Well if she wasn’t willing to play, then he could jump straight into a harder tactic. “So these ‘medicinal remedies’ of yours… they sound like quite a marvel.”
“Oh, they’re nothing special. It’s just a few simple recipes for drinks and snacks that help the healing process.”
If she was going to keep playing the fool, he could tip his cards a little. “There’s no need to be modest. You see, my brother and I are also in the business of… alternative medicine.”
“The Flim Flam Brother’s Miracle Curative Tonic, to be precise,” Flam pulled out one of their trademark bottles as he spoke. Of course he’d brought one with him. His hat had pockets. “It’s the taste sensation that's sweeping the nation!"
“It cures your ills!"
"With electrolytes!"
"It's got what ponies crave!"
“I’m sure you’ve heard of us.”
“Maybe?” she offered uncertainly. “I think the name sounds familiar.”
Flim frowned. So much for professional reputation. “Well, suffice to say, we’re rather established in the business.”
“And when we rolled into town and heard about somepony else plying the same trade—”
“—we felt it natural to come see how the local brew holds up against our market-tested formula.”
And there it was. The gauntlet was thrown. They couldn’t possibly make it any clearer that they knew of her scam and fully intended to edge in on her territory. Now to see how she responded.
“Oh! Well that sounds lovely!” She said with an unflappable smile. “It’s nice to know that there’s other ponies who also do what they can to try and help out the sick and tired ponies out there.”
That was… not the way the script was supposed to go. Before he could collect himself, she clapped her hooves together with a delighted expression. “I just had a wonderful idea! Would you mind terribly much trying some of what I can make and telling me what you think? Everypony in town says they can’t get enough of it, but I’d love to get an expert’s opinion.”
Flim leaned back just enough to meet his brother’s eye. An imperceptible nod and a furrowed brow conveyed all he needed to know. If she refused to crack, they just had to keep applying pressure. “I think that’s a splendid idea.”
“Indeed. Let’s get a gander at these miracle treats for ourselves and see if they cut the mustard.”
He settled onto the overstuffed sofa as their host left the room. Flam sat beside a moment later.
“So.”
“Quite so.”
“Not the expected reaction.”
“She’s experienced. Been in the game for a while.”
“Maybe she misunderstood.”
“I doubt we could be much clearer.”
“Indubitably. I don’t like her confidence. Something doesn’t add up and it makes me worried.”
“Big fish in a small pond. I bet she’s been working this town so long she can get by on placebo alone.
“If that’s the case we might be better off just moving on. No sense wasting our time against a pony so ingrained.”
Flam considered it for a moment. “No. Let’s see this through, brother mine. I’ve got a hunch there’s something more going on than meets the eye.”
“Your last hunch got us run out of Hoofton on a rail.”
“That wasn’t my fault, it was—ah, you’re back.”
It was about then that Fluttershy returned bearing a tray containing… a rather ordinary-looking strawberry shortcake with cream and a pair of pale green drinks.
Not exactly an impressive display. It certainly lacked the gravitas of their miracle curative tonic with its custom labels and engraved corks and rigorously rehearsed song and dance number. He accepted the plate while his brother went for the drink first.
Spearing a small portion onto his fork, Flim brought it to his lips and bit.
It was, in a word, delicious. The cake was light and spongy, the strawberry fresh and tart, the cream sweet and thick. Despite being chilled, the bite melted away on his tongue like a piece of candy, leaving behind a sweetness that was neither cloying nor saccharine. The whole experience from mouthfeel to lingertaste was absolutely refreshing.
No, it was more than that.
He didn’t just feel refreshed, he was refreshed. Maybe he was falling for her ruse, but in that moment Flim would have sworn that he felt more energetic, more filled with vitality. Even the subtle ache in his hooves from crisscrossing the town to gather rumors seemed to fade away.
Curiosity won out over his caution as he eagerly took a sip of the drink to follow. It was thicker than he’d thought, more a shake than a juice, and an odd flavor combination of honey and melon.
It too was absolutely refreshing.
He went for another bite for confirmation, but his fork clinked against an empty plate. He’d already eaten the whole slice without even realizing. His cup was empty as well.
Flim was proud of the elixir he’d created. It’d brought in a lot of cash and was dirt cheap to make. But in full never-tell-the-public disclosure, most of the heavy lifting was done by his and Flam’s showmanship. The elixir worked because they convinced ponies it would.
This was something different. He’d gone in skeptical and still felt more rejuvenated than he had several forkfuls ago. That was more than just good marketing: that was the sign of a secret ingredient. Something that gave it more of a punch than mere thoughts and prayers.
It tasted like legitimacy.
Legitimacy… and opportunity.
A small noise of satisfaction from Flam snapped him from his trance. It was no time to be lost in thought. Things had just gotten much more serious. This was no longer just a meeting of posturing to feel out a competitor; now it was an opportunity to take their scheme to the next level.
If he played his cards right, this could be the golden goose that would fly him and Flam straight to the top.
“So?” Fluttershy asked. She shivered, as though a cold breeze had run through her feathers before she tapped her mane pain again and settled. “Is it… good? I mean, up to your standards, at least?”
A quick glance to Flam confirmed his brother was of the same mind. Time to pivot the plan from intimidate to incorporate.
“It’s passable.”
“Perhaps not as good as our elixir, but commendable for a novice.”
“Good enough for a small town like this. I imagine you’ve made yourself a pretty penny selling it out of a little pop-up stand at the farmer’s market.”
She looked away. “Not… really. To be honest, I’ve actually been giving most of it away for free. I’ve been looking to start selling it recently, but I’m not sure how much to charge. It doesn’t cost me much to make.” She fiddled with her mane pin again before meeting his eyes. “Since you’re experts, maybe you can try it and tell me what it’s worth.”
Flim grinned. At last, the pieces clicked together. This was her goal all along. She’d been angling for a collaboration from the start.
Still, his instincts told him he was missing something. Some key piece of context or insight. The plan didn’t match the mare that was selling it.
But it was too good an opportunity to pass over.
“Let me answer your question with a question,” Flam replied, “Have you given any thought to expanding operations?”
“Introducing your product to the wider market?” Flim added.
“I'd love to, but... I don't know. I have a lot of recipes but I don’t know if I could prepare them fast enough to keep up. Even if some of them are very simple, I still have to make them all by hoof to be effective.”
More recipes? Just how many products was she pushing? But that only sweetened the pot. More options meant an appeal to a wider customer base. Limited output would be a challenge, but the fiasco with the Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 6000 had taught Flim a hard lesson about sacrificing product quality to save time. They just needed to market around the issue.
“Not a problem!” he declared, “When you say 'slow production' what I hear is 'small batch production'.
“Bespoke craftsmanship!”
“Limited quantity!”
“Exclusivity!”
“With your fortifying formulas—”
“—and our nationwide network—” More or less a map of easy marks, but she didn’t need to know the details.
“—we could take you from a local legend to a household name. Imagine! A bottle of your product in the hoof of every pony in Equestria!”
Bottles that would have his and his brother’s face on it, but that’d all be in the fine print. Silver Shill wouldn’t even need to wash out the bottles they had since her concoction was the same color!
“That sounds wonderful!” she beamed, completely caught up in their pitch.
“A smart decision. If you’ll allow me a moment to write up a quick contract—”
“Ahem. I believe that would be my cue, darlings.”
Cutting Flam off before he could scribble something quick and legally binding, in from the next room walked a pony that was as much Fluttershy's opposite as she was her copy.
In looks, they were the same, but in bearing they couldn't be more different. While one was rather milquetoast, the other strode forward with enough confidence for three ponies.
For a moment, he felt like he’d stumbled upon some kind of bizarro funhouse mirror. What were the odds of coming across another pair of twin confidence ponies with yellow coats selling miracle cures?
Then again... maybe this was destiny knocking at the door.
Her coiffed pink mane was held back by a pair of mismatched pins: one a simple triangle that matched her mane and coat, and a second that looked like it'd been made from a pair of gold bits.
A touch tacky, but it sent a message. This was the mare to talk money with.
"If you're interested in any manner of business negotiations, then I’ll be the one to handle that."
Flim nearly gasped as the final piece clicked into place. A silent partner. That’s what was missing. That’s why Fluttershy’s success seemed at odds with her meek and friendly personality. Their deviation from the usual healing tonic routine made sense now. One sister to be the face of the product, innocent and guileless, while the other worked behind the scenes on the dirty practical business side of it all. If he and Flam weren't in constant competition to be the center of attention, they might have developed something similar.
"Rarity..." Fluttershy's voice quavered with uncertainty.
Rarity and Fluttershy. He didn't see the connection, but he supposed not all twins could be as lucky in their names as he and his brother were.
“Ah ah ah! Not a word, Fluttershy. You trust me, yes?” The pegasus nodded. “Of course you do. Then trust me to have your best interests at heart. This is much more my area of expertise than yours. Give me fifteen minutes and I’ll hammer out a deal with the best terms you could ask for. If you’ll let me.”
After a moment’s pause, Fluttershy nodded again. “Thank you.”
“Think nothing of it! Now! Why don’t you bring out one or two of everything you can cook up so your esteemed business partners to-be can get a full grasp of what you have to offer?”
“Good idea! I’ll be right back!” At that, she scampered off.
As she left, Flim noticed Rarity’s gaze harden as she turned it on them, her eyes as unyielding as diamond chips. “Now then. To business. Fair warning, I drive quite a hard bargain.”
Flam chuckled. “I’m certain you’ll find that we do as well.”
“So I’ve heard. But such is the way of high-stakes business, no? After all, you can’t make cider without squeezing a few Apples, as they say.”
Suddenly Flim didn’t feel quite so confident. Perhaps their reputation had preceded them.
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Rarity was more wrong about this than she could ever have imagined of course. For more information, see "Five Hundred Little Murders" by Estee.
Congrats, Rares. You just invented the loss leader.
Dramatic irony is funny when the victim deserves it.
hey, this is a really good chapter!
Inertia of Self II (Essential Body Modification Supplement) (200CP)
Pinkie will go through the lowest depths of hell with this one when Starlight causes multiple temporal apocalypses.
the Greatest mass murderer in the history of the world and Pinkie will be the only one to remember all the Death Starlight causes.
Oof, the Flimflams are gonna get eaten alive.
How does Pinkies perk work in relation to Glimmers timeline alteration?
Wait, wait, wait. This strange, seemingly useless skill Pinkie just got... isn't it a perfect counter to Discord's power or Starlight's possible future shenanigan? And if it really prevent any body alternation that might affect your life, does that mean it also include petrification too? Then Storm King's power would be rendered moot against her as well. Pinkie is getting closer and closer to become an OP character at this rate.
Not much I can say beyond great job on the exchanges, characterizations and future chapter set-up. And really good AU details of the Flim-Flams' second appearance. Yeah, they WOULD be curious as to somebody "cutting in on their racket", only to find it's actually completely legit. And I wonder how long it will be before they finally realize that the reason these ponies are so familiar with them is because they've been to this town before. On that note, I LOVED how the gang figured out Fluttershy is having financial trouble AND seeing Rarity acting as Fluttershy's negotiator concerning the Flim-Flams. And yet another new perk has been unlocked.
REALLY looking forward to more of this.
This chapter came out all the better for the struggle, I was grinning throughout.
Oh my great googly moogly, this is so entertaining! I can't put it down
11593256
Discord's manipulation and Starlight's temporal tomfoolery should definitely be covered. I think they both fall under the first clause. I think the Storm King's petrifying orbs are too straightforward of an attack for this ability to guard against. If it can't defend against a fireball created by an effect like time manipulation, when it would be able to block a more direct attack using time manipulation, I don't see why it would be able to block a petrifying effect from a completely direct attack.
11593225
My guess is she'll either remember her true self as all of her alternate selves, remember all of her alternate selves as her true self afterward, or both.
11593428
Oh boy, time for excessive Trauma on Pinkies part then.
(Ah, lovely! Good to see Rarity stepping in, and taking the reigns as it were. I'm sure with her expertise in these matters, a... 'appropriate' deal will be hammered out... And good always to see friends helping friends! I like that she's looking out for Fluttershy, who doesn't have a bone of guile in her sweet body.)
DANG, Pinkie's new power sounds AWESOME. Assuming she runs into any time-travelers or memory-alterers, anyway. What fandom is that one from? And I liked this chapter! Love that Rarity knows EXACTLY who they are dealing with XD
"Set up the dominoes"
Just throwing this out, but what if all of the memories pinkie gets from starlight messing with time gets "reincarnated" with their own bodies when she uses the mirror pool?
11594171
We're still in Season 4, so she absolutely does. Just saying.
Huh, Inertia of Self almost sounds like something Pinkie would have as a matter of course. It fits her way too well.
The Starlight Incident in particular will be so much more interesting when Twilight has another friend to help.
Would inertia of self prevent teirek from energy draining her?
11593428
A petrefecation spell released in a capsule seems to be still a petrefecation spell by design. The way I read it is it's a collateral damage is your weakness now.
Later...
Rarity: Oh darlings. I sort of feel bad for you. You tried and tried to make this go totally your way, and failed.
Flim: How?
Flam: Yes, how did you know?
Rarity: I may not be able to tell if somepony is lying like my dear friend Applejack, but I can spot tricksters quite well.
Flam: Applejack? Oh. Oh no.
Flim: Brother, I think we are in trouble.
Rarity: You are in Ponyville. But you will be in big trouble if Applejack learns you tried to take Bits from Fluttershy.
So are the species change perks in this table? Wondering if they can roll say, changeling or alicorns or whatever.