Part One Hundred & Twelve
Flurry Heart dragged her boots to a stop once back in her room. She remained in Celestia’s former bedchambers after returning to Canterlot, and the room remained as sparse as it was before. She swung her head to Whammy on the lonely bedside table.
Any uninvited guests, seneschal?
Whammy, tiara atop the shell, did not respond. The brass button eyes remained vigilant. Flurry sighed and stripped her boots off, levitating them over to the lone dresser. Spike shut the door behind her with a click, and the alicorn looked over a wing. “What’s next?”
Spike’s muzzle deepened into a frown. “Nothing.”
“Are Rainbow and Rarity talking to each other?”
“They’re both adults, Flurry,” Spike sighed. “Let them work it out.”
Applejack had been brought to Canterlot for holding until after the war. There was no dungeon, but the lower floors and basement were close enough. Pagala certainly thought so. There were only a few other ponies being held for after the war so far; Second Wind was watched over by the same medical team that kept an eye on Twilight Sparkle.
Flurry had mandated he live, and none of the ponies wanted to risk her wrath by slipping him too much morphine. The Princess had not spoken to any of the ponies that awaited her judgement after the war’s end. They doubtlessly knew it would be a long time until they saw the sunlight in Canterlot again, if they ever did.
The reports she reviewed on the way back to Canterlot suggested her codified orders on collaborators were being followed after order was restored. There was neither the time nor ability to hold ponies for trial and evidence collection. The accused was either sentenced to be hanged, or dismissed to go back to their lives with varying levels of seized assets for the war effort.
It was a stark ‘all or nothing’ style of justice, and often up to the ponies deciding in the Princess’ stead what truly warranted execution. Flurry hoped her ponies did not exact too many reprisals on civilians that refused to help the ELF, but it was undoubtedly biased. And even after a pony was judged innocent, the accusers often tried unsanctioned revenge. Some ponies in Appleloosa tried branding over a mare’s cutie mark, but the Thestrals overseeing the town beat them.
Maybe I should’ve listened to Babs and just killed her. Rainbow and Rarity had both been allowed to speak to Applejack if they wished. Rainbow did not wish to, and apparently Applejack refused to talk to Rarity. The unicorn had not requested to speak to Flurry Heart, and the alicorn suspected it would be a poor discussion.
Pinkie Pie had not been moved with General Limestone and Maud Pie to Las Pegasus. For the next several weeks, Limestone’s earth ponies would work to repair the railways and get the pipelines functional to Canterlot and Manehattan. Unofficially, they would work with General Duskcrest at reintegrating the south and setting up the new government.
The final two Elements of Harmony had seemingly broken the other two. Frosty Jadis had ordered the castle’s guards to keep the Air Marshal away from the seamstress for the foreseeable future. They were friends again at the bar.
“Do you think it’s my fault?” Flurry asked aloud. She weaved her wings through the slits in her jacket as she pulled it off.
“Applejack made her choices,” Spike said slowly. “So did Pinkie. Maybe they could’ve made better ones, but that’s not on you.”
“Have you talked to Ember?”
“Stop.” Spike folded his arms across his purple overcoat. “You can’t force everyone to talk to each other and make up.”
Flurry exhaled and wordlessly shrugged off her pants. She folded them in her magic and tugged her sweatpants across her cutie marks. My mother used to be really good at that. Spike had glanced to the balcony doors to give her privacy, watching the falling rain and soggy sentries outside the windows.
“Ember,” he paused and glanced up at the ceiling. “We’ll work it out. We both have a long time to do it.” His wings twitched.
“She’s sorry for whatever she said,” Flurry offered.
Spike smiled and it made the chipped lower fang stick out. “Yeah. Big risk for the Dragon Lord to apologize for anything, especially ‘The Late Lord’ Ember.”
The alicorn nickered and bared her teeth. “How did that spread around?”
“Dragons.” Spike shrugged his wings. “Ember’s young and a lot of the elders only stayed out of the Gauntlet of Fire because Torch had picked fights with nearly all of them. None of them wanted to fight in a pony’s war anyway; they’re just being...jerks.”
“Dicks,” Flurry corrected.
“Most of the ones saying it do have one,” Spike agreed with a rumble, “so yes.”
“Alright,” Flurry rolled her wings and popped her joints. The feathers flexed and resettled. “Let’s go-”
“To bed,” Spike said for her. “You’re not leaving this room. I have a meeting as regent.”
Flurry stared at him and scrunched her muzzle. “What’s it-”
“No.” Spike smirked and snorted a stream of smoke. “Nope. You’ve teleported off a train back up this mountain and haven’t stopped for a week. It’s dusk. You have the night off.”
Flurry glanced around the sparse bedroom. She tossed her head. “To do what?”
“I’m fairly certain if you laid down you would pass out,” Spike offered. He pointed to the small stack of books under the snail toy. “There’s also those books you asked for and never actually read.”
“The Equestrian-Yakut dictionary is worse than when Twilight read me the regular dictionary in between chapters of Daring Do.” Flurry’s wings shuddered. “I’d rather have Yona teach me more swears.”
“You’re the one that wanted to learn their language,” Spike chided. “You want to show cultural acceptance of the oral history of the Yaks? Start quoting the Sagas.”
Flurry’s stare was flat. “You’re only suggesting it because it would put me to sleep.”
“Yes,” Spike confirmed. “You could also use Celestia’s jacuzzi. It’s large enough for your wings.”
Flurry Heart extended said wings and sniffed her wingpits. “Hasn’t been that long.”
“You still smell like ash,” Spike retorted. “The soap smells like lilacs, which tells me you barely use it.”
“We had to ration it in Weter,” Flurry defended herself. “I use it on all the decent spots.”
“Relax.” Spike fully frowned now. His tail lashed and the spade flicked at the alicorn’s muzzle. “Take one night off.”
“I’m going to fall asleep in there and drown. My death will be on you.”
“Your wings will keep you floating,” Spike quipped back. His slit eyes turned to the wall. “You’re worse than Twilight.” He blinked and caught his wording a second later.
Flurry’s intended snipe back did not leave her lips. She shuffled her bare hooves. “Yeah. Alright, fine.”
“I didn’t mean it like that. Twilight overworked herself too.”
“I know,” Flurry returned quietly.
Spike listened to the rain hit the balcony for a moment and visibly searched for something to say. His eyes wandered around the room. “You know, when your mom first started foalsitting Twilight, your grandmother told her to lace a sleeping potion into Twilight’s drinks.”
Flurry snorted. “Really?”
“Yeah,” Spike huffed. “Try to get her to stop reading and go to bed. Your mother decided to take her around the parks and wear your aunt out instead. Velvet always ribbed her about it.”
“They liked each other?”
“Of…” Spike stumbled over his tongue for a moment. “Of course they did. Never got to hear much of the ‘mare talk,’ but they gossiped. Your grandfather was always mortified.”
Flurry went to the nightstand and moved Whammy to the side. She shuffled through the books with her right wing. “They died with the ELF, right?”
Spike did not respond immediately. “We think so. They were working with the council in Manehattan when it fell at the end. Night Light had been injured in a bombing raid and couldn’t move quickly. They didn’t try to run for the border.”
“You think they would have?”
“For their granddaughter?” Spike rumbled. “Of course.”
Flurry grabbed the dictionary and set it on the plain bed. “I found their house.”
The dragon said nothing.
The alicorn yawned and smacked her lips. “Goodnight, Uncle Spike.”
“Try to get some rest,” Spike ordered in a subdued voice. “Recover for a few days. Stop eating out of cans.” Flurry cast the detection spell and let it wash over purple dragon scales. He sighed. “Funny.”
Flurry Heart flopped onto the mattress on her back, letting her edges of her feathers droop off the sides. She shuffled backward onto the pillow and took the book in her forehooves, cracking it open to an earmarked page. She blinked heavily. “Time to get through the two hundred words for ‘snow.’”
Spike shuffled out of the room, speaking quietly with Jadis outside the door. Probably telling her not to let me leave, Flurry guessed. The crystal pony wouldn’t actually stop her, but she’d probably go tell Spike and Thorax.
I’ll just end up interrupting whatever they’re doing. Spike was absolutely confident he could deal with all the administrative duties of reintegrating Equestria. The dragon had already been an unofficial part of Canterlot’s bureaucracy during the war. And Thorax is probably beating ‘lings to death in the basement. Probably with Cozy Glow.
She hadn’t actually seen Cozy since their meeting, which meant she was either dead and nopony had told the Princess, or Thorax was getting some use out of Equestria’s Most Wanted. Should probably go ask. Flurry set the book down and looked at the door.
She yawned and picked it back up.
After getting through 112 words for the varying types of snow, none of which were anything resembling ‘Flurry,’ the alicorn set the book down and rolled off the bed. She stumbled on unsteady long legs to the bathroom and regarded the jacuzzi with a flat stare. It was properly alicorn-sized, designed specifically for Celestia’s swan-ish frame.
Flurry Heart turned to the mirror and examined her lanky legs and lean barrel. Her breath pulled in and out, making her oversized wings flutter against her sides. “My little ponies,” she tried with a dry whicker into the glass. I am technically taller than nearly all of them. Feels weird to say it.
It didn’t look right with the cold glacial blue eyes and short cropped mane. Her muzzle was narrower as well, caught between the awkward pudge of a filly and the rounded snout of a mare. Flurry tried to remember her mother’s muzzle. Was it narrow? Might stay like this.
Her horn glowed and turned the faucet on to the bathtub. Flurry checked the water with a wing a few times, shaking the droplets off her feathers. The large shower stall next to the bath seemed quicker and more inviting, but Flurry couldn’t remember the last time she had a bath anyways. The large button on the side of the tub caused the crystals inlaid in the sides to hum and churn the water.
She waited until the tub filled halfway, then folded her sweatpants and set her jeweled crystal crown on the countertop below the mirror. At the last moment, her ears perked and she looked around for her raggedy towels. There were only two hanging by the shower. The alicorn puffed her lips.
I’ll just use magic again. She placed one hoof into the tub and felt the jet swirl around the white-furred scar near her fetlock. Oh, that does feel nice.
There was a knock at the door. Flurry paused, then withdrew her hoof and shook it off. Her horn glowed and shut the faucet, and a wing stamped the button controlling the jets. The water slowly stilled as the whirring died down.
Flurry trotted to the door and stood slightly to the side. “Yes?”
“Frosty Jadis,” the crystal pony said on the other side. “Echo, Kilo, Seven, Nine. With Sunset Shimmer.”
The Princess mentally ran through the code, then unlocked the deadbolt and stepped farther to the side of the door, away from its swing as it opened. Jadis poked her blue muzzle in and nodded to the alicorn, then withdrew. Sunset Shimmer trotted forward slowly in her uniform. Bare hooves clacked on the floor.
Frosty Jadis shut the door after Flurry cast the detection spell again. Sunset’s horn sparked and she warded the room before casting an uncertain glance around the interior. “You’ve…” she searched for a word, “redecorated?”
“It was all Chrysalis themed,” Flurry replied. “Archmage.”
Sunset blushed at the wet light pink fur on the Princess’ foreleg and her ears pinned back. “Am I interrupting something?”
“No.” Flurry walked around her and back into the bathroom. Sunset turned her head away to the balcony with a swish of her tail. The alicorn pulled her sweatpants back on and placed the crown atop her head. “What’s up?”
Sunset’s horn glowed and she levitated her saddlebags in front of her. Files and papers floated out and arrayed themselves in the air. “I looked into Maud’s documents.”
Flurry clicked her teeth. This can’t wait. “And?”
The unicorn hesitated and her eyes pinched. “Princess, I cannot make an accurate guess. This was not my project.”
“Start from the beginning,” Flurry ordered. “It’s a bomb?”
“Research was looking into the Balefire spell,” Sunset began to explain, “trying to make it into something we could drop from planes instead of cast in the Mage Units locally. The Balefire Bomb never left the drafting phase.”
“What about the Changelings?”
“Thorax is familiar with a dozen ‘Wunderwaffen’ experiments Chrysalis authorized,” the unicorn rolled her eyes. “A giant ray to move the sun, something to give changelings cutie marks, there’s a long list of projects that went nowhere and cost a lot.”
“Maud thinks they tried it in the Crystal Empire.”
Sunset sucked on her teeth. “Yes. Maybe. It’s not a Balefire Bomb. Nuclear Fission is still a poorly understood science, especially when combined with Thaumatic Residence and Attunement.”
Flurry dropped her eyelids and stared blankly. “My education is not what it should be, Archmage.”
“Neither is mine,” Sunset chuckled. “Feels like I took some classes twice.” Her ears flicked and the papers slid back into the folder levitating around her head. “Princess, there is nopony left from Twilight’s research department. Those that weren’t in Canterlot were with the ELF in Manehattan.”
“So the Changelings might already have a bomb,” Flurry guessed. “What would it be like?”
Sunset looked to the balcony. The rain obscured the view beyond Canterhorn, but her stare was west. “A really, really big boom. Residual effects from radiation.”
“Like from the sun?”
Sunset looked surprised. “A little bit. I checked with the crystal ponies about whatever was used in the Empire. It sounds like it could have been a bomb like that.”
Flurry waited. “So if they had one then, why not now?”
The unicorn shook her head. “Resources? There’s a dozen better ponies that could answer this question. Twilight, Starlight, Moondancer, but the Changelings took all of them at the war’s end.”
“Well, it sounds like our educational system is going to be just great,” Flurry drawled. “Honestly, can’t get worse than Neighsay.”
Sunset looked conflicted about being compared to him, or whether that was a vote of confidence. She passed the folder over to Flurry’s magic. “I’ve spoken to less than seven ponies. This cannot get out. Who else knows?”
Flurry hummed. “Rainbow was there.”
Sunset’s eyes darkened. “There's a few spells that can-”
“No memory wipes,” Flurry ordered. “I’ll talk to her to keep her muzzle shut.” She stuffed the folder into her saddlebags and strapped them high, just above the hemline of her sweatpants. “Do you have a copy?”
“It’s secured,” Sunset assured her. The unicorn frowned. “Where are you going, Princess?”
“I’ll talk to Rainbow, then I’m taking this to Grover.” Flurry’s ears twisted into her mane. “Don’t.”
Sunset’s grimace and bared teeth slowly evened out. The unicorn exhaled with a hiss. “You want to give the griffons a head start on this?”
“Maybe they know something.”
“If they had a bomb, they would’ve used it already,” Sunset retorted.
Over Equestria? Flurry did not voice that thought. “Grover seems on top of projects. I’ll check with him.”
“Are you going to leave those papers with them?”
“They are our allies, Sunset,” Flurry said lowly. Her voice dropped to a nicker. “We have to share information. I doubt Grover’s going to crow about bombs anymore than we are.”
“Postwar,” Sunset said with a sigh. “They’ll have the resources to figure out something. They’ll probably get the magical knowledge from us as well.”
“So be it,” Flurry shrugged her wings.
Sunset gazed at the high ceiling. Celestia’s room, like all of Canterlot Castle, was designed with taller dimensions for the Princess of the Sun. The unicorn scuffed a forehoof. “You might not live forever.”
I certainly hope I don’t. “Remains to be seen,” Flurry replied. “You think the griffons will use it as leverage?”
“Why wouldn’t they?”
Flurry did not have a reply to that, so she trotted past Sunset to the hallway door. “I was going to get in the jacuzzi. Did you ever use it as Celestia’s student?”
“No, I did not creep around my teacher’s bathroom,” Sunset retorted. Her eyes wandered to the open door. “Apologies for interrupting you, Princess.”
“I already filled it up,” Flurry offered. “Consider it an apology for using your towels a few times in Twilight’s castle.”
“I could tell by the pink fur,” Sunset mumbled. “That’s not necessary, Princess,” she insisted in a louder voice.
“Get in the damn jacuzzi and relax,” Flurry ordered. “It’s late. Do you have anything else going on?” Sunset rolled her eyes in thought, but failed to come up with an excuse.
Flurry Heart opened the door from the side, then waited for Jadis to poke her head in from the hallway. “I’m going to talk to Grover.” She shook her saddlebags. “I’ll be back in a bit.”
Jadis inhaled with a scrunched muzzle. “The Lord Regent ordered-”
“Overruled,” Flurry quipped. “I left the jacuzzi filled. If Archmage Shimmer doesn’t want it, you can relax. It’s a waste of water otherwise.”
Frosty Jadis traded a look with Sunset Shimmer. The other crystal ponies guarding the hallway shuffled their hooves. Flurry swept her stare over them. Out of all the orders I’ve given, ‘use my hot tub’ is somehow the most disconcerting. She forced a smile and trotted down the hallway.
The alicorn deviated to find Rainbow first. The Air Marshal’s office was in the guest quarters just before the royal bechambers, so it was a quick trot. Flurry slowed near the scarred, but otherwise nondescript door and heavy guard presence. Ponies of every tribe stomped their hooves above bullet marks and boarded windows.
Twilight Sparkle had not been moved from ‘her’ room. There was a constant guard presence and multiple checkpoints along the hallway. The medical staff that entered and left were patted down and scanned four times. Flurry stopped at the outermost checkpoint of sandbags blockading the hall. A poster had been stapled to the wall.
Flurry stared at ‘Chess Piece’ and her bright red eyes. She grinned in the picture, exposing the gap in her teeth. It was a recent photograph. A picture of her red rook cutie mark was in the corner, just above the notice.
BY ORDER OF THE LORD REGENT: SHOOT ON SIGHT BEYOND CHECKPOINT ONE.
“Howdy!” a voice trilled down the hallway. Flurry craned her neck over the sandbags. At the opposite end of the hallway, a short pegasus waved a stunted wing. She was wearing a gray jacket and skirt over her cutie mark, but the thick glasses and curly mane matched the poster.
Flurry Heart walked over to Cozy Glow. The salmon-furred mare leaned against the wall just before a stack of sandbags. The earth pony on the other side had a shotgun casually resting on top and aimed square at her muzzle. The stallion’s ears pinned at the Princess passing him, but Flurry nodded in acceptance.
Cozy smiled with pressed lips. “Howdy, Princess. I saw you checking out my poster.”
“Is there somepony supposed to be with you?” Flurry questioned.
Cozy raised a hoof and almost brushed the sandbag. The shotgun’s muzzle twitched. The pegasus stopped short of pointing further into the hallway. “Ocellus is running a quick sweep of the rooms. I shadow her most days.”
“Can’t exactly shadow anypony out here,” Flurry remarked.
“Oh, I know,” Cozy smirked and ran her tongue around the gap in her front teeth. “She always says I’m welcome to follow her, but the guards seem so friendly I hang out and wait.”
The alicorn regarded the guard that was visibly waiting for an excuse to pull the trigger. “You don’t say?”
“Sometimes I wear my mane in a different style,” Cozy admitted. “Or put on a uniform. They’ve always caught me before I could get past. We’re friends now. This is Doughy.”
The stallion possibly named Doughy snorted.
“Princess?” Cozy asked. Her voice was sickly sweet. “Your uncle always says that it’s just a test, but I think these ponies will actually shoot me. I think your uncle is trying to get me killed with these tests.”
“If he was trying to kill you, you’d be dead,” Flurry returned. “He doesn’t need an excuse.”
Cozy chuckled. “Golly, that’s brutally honest of you, Princess.”
“Since you seem to appreciate it, here’s another. If you go anywhere near my aunt, it’ll be a race to see which of us kills you first: Spike, Thorax, or me.”
Cozy Glow pushed herself off the wall with a wing. It shook from the effort, but she tried to hide it with a casual flex of her feathers. Her muzzle twisted into a pout. “Princess, I do want to say-”
“Consider very carefully if it is worth lying to me,” Flurry interrupted.
The pout evened out into a flat, emotionless expression. “I’m not interested in hurting her,” Cozy said tonelessly. “There’s no point. Your uncle wants to see if I’m as good as I say.” Her smile returned. “And I am.”
“Be careful not to choke on your aspirations, Chess Piece,” Flurry retorted. “Where’s my Air Marshal?”
“With Nightshade, her brother, and some tribal in her office,” Cozy Glow responded. “We passed them on the way here.”
Flurry turned her head to the stallion. Her horn glowed. “Is Ocellus sweeping the rooms?”
“Yes, Princess.”
“Good.” Flurry’s horn dimmed. She swept past the stunted pegasus and resumed her walk towards Rainbow’s office. Her horn glowed idly and double-checked the flaps on her saddlebags to see if they had been tampered with. I’m sure Thorax is having her do more than spook guards-
She sniffed. There was a pungent odor in the air that ticked her nose. Flurry tossed her head and snorted. It smelled like rancid smoke. What the fuck? She looked around to the guards along the hallway, then checked the ceiling. Flurry locked eyes with a pegasus mare. The purple-clad soldier stomped a foreleg and checked her submachine gun. “Do you smell that?”
The mare licked her lips like her mouth suddenly went dry. “Smell?”
Flurry cast the detection spell again and let it sweep through the hallway. “You cannot possibly not smell that.”
“I, uh…” the guard looked to the stallion across from her helplessly.
“Thestrals,” the stallion explained with a nervous whicker.
Flurry swung her head to him. “Thestrals do not smell. They are ponies the same as you or me.”
His eyes widened. “N-no! O-of course, Princess! B-but…”
Flurry Heart sniffed again and followed the odor.
Right to Rainbow Dash’s office.
Of course. The alicorn stared at the door flatly, then to the two pegasi guarding it. They looked away with pinned ears. Flurry pressed her hoof to the door to push it open, but it was locked. She pressed on it lightly.
Rainbow whinnied on the other side from the hammering crunch that nearly shattered the deadbolt. “What the shit!?” Her voice was raspier than usual.
“Open up,” Flurry intoned. “Your Princess commands it.”
“Oh shit!” a stallion giggled. “It’s the fuzz!” His New Mareland accent was thicker and slurred, but Flurry recognized Murky.
“Shut up!” Nightshade hissed. There was a thump and a frantic clatter of hooves. The alicorn registered low muttering under scrapes and flapping wings. Sounds like Amoxtli. There was another thump and a keening cry half cut off by a hoof shoved into a muzzle.
Flurry debated punching the door in.
A minute later, there was a scrabbling on the other side as somepony fiddled with the deadbolt. The door stuck for a second before it opened with a grunt of effort. Nightshade nearly fell over onto her back, unsteadily waving her wings.
A cloud of smoke hit Flurry’s muzzle. She gagged. Her wings snapped out and flapped in the hallway on reflex as she stepped back. “S-sorry!” Nightshade whinnied. Her golden pupils were wide. “Sorry, Princess!”
“What,” Flurry coughed. “What are you doing in here?”
“Nothing!” Murky insisted behind his older sister.
Flurry stood up straight and squinted. The three Thestrals were crowded around a circular table that had been haphazardly pushed to the center of the room. Bags and bottles of soda littered the floor. The alicorn entered, forcing Nightshade back.
The smell was even worse in the room, and wisps of smoke trailed along the ceiling. Flurry was too busy squinting at them to watch her hooves. She stepped on something with a crunch. She lifted her hoof and watched the orange powder fall from the keratin. She frowned at the scattered bags, levitating one up to her muzzle. The bag crinkled.
Cheese Puffs!
There was a picture of an inordinately happy fat griffon shoveling a flaky, oblong ball covered in processed cheddar powder into his beak. He was as orange as the cheese. Flurry upended the bag and watched the airy, cheesy dough balls fall to the floor. They had been made so light a few fluttered as they fell.
“T-the griffons,” Murky stuttered from his seat. “They have a lot of those. They suck.”
Flurry levitated one up from the floor, blew on it, resisted sneezing from the cheese dust, then shoved it into her muzzle. It crunched, and she swished the bits around in her mouth before swallowing. “This tastes like carboard with cheese.”
“They suck,” Murky repeated.
“Why are you eating them?”
“Chips had a few,” Nightshade replied. She sat down next to her brother and Amoxtli, but all the bat ponies looked away from the Princess. “It’s…a good snack.”
Flurry studied their nervous, but also somehow unfocused expression. Amoxtli nibbled on her lower lip with a fang, brushing a wing against her patchwork uniform reassuringly. The alicorn cast the detection spell again.
Murky giggled as the magic raced across his fur, but shoved a hoof into his mouth. The other bat ponies stilled. Flurry finally turned to Rainbow’s square desk. The peagus had her high-backed office chair turned around and facing a wall of reports. Her metal wing rested on the desk, slightly cheesy.
“What the fuck is going on?” Flurry nickered. She tugged the door shut with her horn. The smoke swirled just above her horn. “What’s the smoke? Were you burning something?”
“Just some documents,” Nightshade coughed. “Not important.”
“In an interior room?” Flurry returned. “What documents? Why do they smell like…” she trailed off, sniffing. Why do I feel like I’ve smelled this before?
She had in Weter. The smell had been in the basement with Thorax’s lings. The tenements were always musty so she just assumed it was mold somewhere. But she had recognized the smell from somewhere else.
“Stuff about air wings,” Rainbow said, still facing the wall. Flurry saw her mohawk bob from the other side of the chair. “I, uh, wanted to get the bats into an air division.”
“Yes,” Amoxtli hissed. Her voice was squeaky, but the Tzinacatl did not seem to notice. “Very important.”
“This required soda and awful cheese snacks?”
Amoxtli sank against the table. “Yes?”
Flurry’s horn glowed and she spun Rainbow Dash around in the chair. The pegasus’ uniform was buttoned and she nearly fell out of the seat despite Flurry barely putting any power into the grab. Rainbow braced her hooves on the table and swayed.
She was wearing aviators.
There was only a single wall lamp on in the room.
Flurry frowned. “What is going on?”
“Nothing,” Rainbow deadpanned impressively. Flurry began to lift her glasses off, but the pegasus snapped her wing over the frames and wilted in her seat. “Okay! Okay, promise you won’t be mad.”
“I’m not mad,” Flurry said with pursed lips. “I’m confused about why my castle is on fire.”
Murky giggled. “Did nopony ever tell her?”
Nightshade hissed at her brother.
Flurry twisted to glare at them.
“Okay,” Rainbow flexed two feathers on her intact wing and pulled off her glasses. She kept her eyes closed and eyelids pinched shut for a moment, then opened them and stared over at Flurry. “I know it looks-”
The alicorn backed up against the open door with a snort of surprise. Her horn pinned Rainbow to the chair. The pegasus wriggled. “N-not a changeling!” Rainbow’s magenta eyes were badly bloodshot, but that was not surprised Flurry Heart.
The pegasus’ pupils were shaped like hearts.
“What. The. Fuck!?” Flurry whinnied. “What’s wrong with your fucking eyes!?”
“It does that to non-Thestrals,” Amoxtli offered. “Well, the good strains do.”
“She’s sick?” Flurry turned to them. “Are you sick? Is this some Thestral illness? The last thing we need is an epidemic-”
“No!” Nightshade snapped. “Moon above, we’re high.”
Flurry released Rainbow. She paused for a long moment and her muzzle flapped soundlessly as she turned it over in her head. “Wait. Drugs?”
Murky started, “It’s not a drug-”
“Yes,” Amoxtli preempted him. She vanished under the table and popped back up with a gray saddlebag. She set it down and sorted through it with her wings.
Flurry watched her set out what looked like bits of oddly colored grass. Amoxtli sniffed slightly and tugged out crinkled bits of parchment and strangely cut paper. “You scrunched it all up.”
“I was tryin’ to hide it,” Murky snorted.
“You’re all on drugs,” Flurry said flatly.
“Heart’s Desire is barely a drug,” Rainbow whickered. “It’s organic. The Thestrals grow it.”
“It’s called Hemp,” Amoxtli countered her. “Pure strains infused with moonlight have magical properties. It opens our minds to commune with the moon.”
“Drugs,” Murky waved his hoof. “Bat ponies got high to relax under the moon for thousands of years.”
Amoxtli gave him a sour look. “It’s meant to be a sacred ritual.”
“Name one sacred thing that involves Cheese Puffs,” Murky replied.
Flurry fluttered her wings against her saddlebags. “So…you’re just relaxing? It’s like alcohol?”
“Yes!” Rainbow whinnied triumphantly. “That's what I always said! Flutters’ friend had a hook up.” She visibly tried to think about the name. “Tree Hugger! You remember her?”
Flurry stared flatly at the pegasus. “No.”
“Ah, right,” Rainbow shrugged her wing. “This is better stuff than she had.”
“We picked it up in the southeast on the way back,” Amoxtli admitted. “We’ve grown it in secluded, open caves for centuries...and sold it discreetly to discerning ponies.” Flurry rolled her eyes.
“I figured you’d know about this,” Nightshade muttered. “We moved some of it for Thorax back in Nova Griffonia. It was part of the black market.”
“I bet it wasn’t as good,” Amoxtli said with smug fangs.
“Griffons can’t grow it worth shit,” Nightshade agreed.
“Princesses were a bunch of hypocrites anyway,” Rainbow waved her hoof. “Twilight ranted about ‘Celestia says no!’ when she caught Flutters. She lived next to the Everfree; the mare needed to chill out once in a while.”
Flurry frowned. “What?”
Rainbow blinked. “Uh, it’s, uh, illegal.” Her muzzle scrunched. “Wait, is it illegal?”
Murky planted his hooves on the table and nearly scattered the herbs. “Princess, you wanna be really, really cool!?”
Flurry sighed. “If it was banned prewar, it was probably for a good-”
“She wanted to keep bat ponies down!” Murky interrupted. Nightshade swatted him with a wing. The bat pony quieted down with a huff.
Flurry regarded the table. A few of the papers were rolled up into silly-looking cigarettes. She levitated one up and squinted at it. “You just smoke it?”
“There’s a lot of different ways,” Amoxtli offered. “You can roll it into a-”
Flurry grabbed about half the papers and flowers, haphazardly stuffing them into the unused side of her saddlebags. “Awesome. Whatever.” She clipped it shut, crinkling her nose at the lingering smell of smoke. “Rainbow?”
The pegasus tried to look attentive with her heart-shaped pupils. “I can see fine,” she rasped. “It’s, uh, magic.”
That’s not what I was going to ask. Flurry took a deep breath and resisted coughing. “About what happened with-”
“Rarity probably does worse drugs,” Rainbow snorted.
“The files,” Flurry growled. “With Maud.”
Rainbow’s mouth flopped into an oval of surprise. “Oh, yeah, the-”
“You don’t say shit. Or I have Sunset or Thorax wipe your memory.”
Rainbow zipped her feathers across her muzzle. “Not to worry, Princess. The Element of Loyalty is on it.” The pegasus reclined in her chair. “Uh, do you mind if we…”
“Go ahead,” Flurry groaned and snagged several of the small bags of Cheese Puffs. She floated them into her saddlebags to hopefully cover up the smell. One of them was already open and spilled against her pink feathers when she tucked it in.
Rainbow pumped her hoof. “Yeah, finally got a cool Princess!”
“Does this mean it’s legal?” Murky muttered hopefully. Flurry refused to answer and left. She tugged the door shut behind her and flapped her wings to clear the hallway air. None of the guards met her stare.
The walk to the Reichsarmee’s wing was mercifully clear of interruptions. Flurry stopped at a checkpoint and stared blankly at the visibly terrified griffons. One griffoness spoke quietly into a radio from behind a sandbag. The hallways had been otherwise cordoned off into checkpoints, and the castle was more a haphazard fortress than a open, welcoming palace now.
Flurry glanced out a window while she waited in an alcove. The rain covered the city beyond, and it was almost nightfall. She didn’t feel strictly tired, but more drained of energy. More meetings tomorrow. The alicorn tried to remember if it was going to be with Queen Velvet or Dragon Lord Ember.
She twisted back at the thud of several boots on rugs. Benito and two other dogs walked up the checkpoint, and the graying dog stood straight-backed. A paw rested just above his sheathed sword. “Princess? How can we assist you?”
“I need to show Grover something.”
Benito held out a paw. “I will be happy to take it to the Kaiser.”
“Sorry,” Flurry apologized without much effort into sounding sincere. “Sensitive documents. It goes with me.”
The dog’s paw dropped and he studied her muzzle. “If you doubt my integrity-”
“I do not,” Flurry assured him. “But it’s important.”
Benito’s brown eyes wandered around the checkpoint. He pointed to a unicorn. “Will you assent to a scan, Princess?”
Flurry walked up to a shaking Aquileian mage on the other side of the sandbag wall. “Go ahead,” she said in Aquileian. The mare’s horn sparked pink several times before the spell washed over the alicorn. Flurry cast it back and watched everyone flinch. “Take a deep breath before casting,” the alicorn advised. “Calm your nerves before releasing the spell.”
The mare bit her lip and toyed with her mane.
Benito snapped a paw up and signaled the other dogs to turn around. “Follow me, Princess.” He marched off without waiting.
Flurry Heart followed him through two more checkpoints and through an access corridor to Twilight’s old tower. They were not stopped again. The dog’s tail swung lowly while he walked, and every so often he craned his head back to the alicorn with his jowls pulled into a frown.
Flurry sidled along behind him. Her ears flicked above her crystal band. “What did you think about that deer’s prophecy? I don’t know Olenian; I don’t know how accurate that translation was.”
Benito refused to answer.
“The only prophecy I know came true is the one Celestia probably invented about her sister,” Flurry continued. “On the longest day of the thousandth year, the stars will aid in her escape, and she will bring about nighttime eternal.”
“We are familiar with the Maar-spawned mare,” Benito huffed. “Nightmare Moon fell to the whispers of Maar and would have brought doom upon all the world.”
“Do dogs believe in griffon gods?” Flurry asked. Her wings flexed and refolded against her saddlebags. She caught a wisp of lingering smoke and bit her lip.
“Our gods created us, but did nothing to strike the chains from our paws,” Benito stated. He rubbed a glove against the hilt of his sword. “The Trinity of Grover II brought him to our mountains. The dogs of Bronzehill acknowledge both.”
The group stopped at the base of Twilight’s tower. They had walked to a side door from the access hallways rather than across the pouring rain and an open courtyard. Flurry listened to thunder rumble outside the windows.
Benito turned around. His nostrils flared on his muzzle. A paw reached out and the glove beckoned. “I will search your saddlebags.”
Flurry sighed. She unclipped them and hefted them over to the dog. Benito’s tail swung and one of the guards entered the tower. “The Kaiser may be too busy. The hour is late.”
Benito opened one flap and stared inside. A paw reached in and removed a single Cheese Puff. His eyes went from the bag to the alicorn, then back to the bag. His muzzle scrunched.
“What?” Flurry asked innocently.
Benito took a deep breath. He switched to the other saddlebag. This time, he pulled out the folder and papers. He gave them a cursory look without scanning over them before replacing the folder. After a moment, he offered the saddlebags back to the alicorn.
The Princess plucked them out of his paw and strapped them back to her barrel with a twist of her horn. She smacked her lips. “They’re for me,” she explained.
Benito bit into the puff and swallowed. “No one likes them.”
The dog that absconded up the tower returned with his helmet in his paws. “The Kaiser will see you, Princess Flurry Heart.” He also sniffed and shared a look with Benito.
“Remain,” Benito ordered. He walked through the door and started up the winding steps. Flurry followed him alone. A few griffons stood guard in the alcoves and lower floors, but the top three floors were Twilight’s old study. The sound of rain hitting the stones and roof intensified as they climbed.
Benito stopped at a door draped with the roaring griffon of the Griffonian Reich. Never actually been in the tower, Flurry mused. She tried to imagine a younger Spike tottering up the steps after her aunt and smiled.
Benito turned around and stared down at her.
Flurry stared back.
“Your pants remain on.”
“I wasn’t planning on taking them off,” Flurry deadpanned.
The dog growled and knocked on the door in a specific rhythm.
“Enter, Benito!” Grover called out through the door. Flurry Heart followed the dog into the room. They were a floor below the actual library and study with the timepiece and wide windows. There was a bedchamber in an offshoot, and another winding staircase. The room was only lit by crystal lamps along the walls. The bathroom door was open, and a few griffon servants cleaned a table and plates. They bowed with clasped claws as Grover descended the spiral stairs.
The Kaiser of the Griffonian Reich wore a plain white nightshirt and black slacks. The staircase had been built for a slimmer pony, so he leaned a wing along the railing and took the steps slowly. He had a leather holster attached under his left wing, but Flurry couldn’t see if he was armed. She kept her horn dim.
Grover inspected her from above, staring down his darker beak and glasses. “Good evening, Princess,” he greeted in Equestrian.
“Kaiser Grover,” Flurry nodded. “I have some documents I need your opinion on.”
A few of the servants slowed clearing the dinner table. Grover raised the wing on the railing. “Dismissed.” The griffon reared up on the spiral stairs, having to duck his head. The Reichstone nearly fell off, and Flurry spied his head feathers flexing under it as he noticed.
Grover turned around smoothly otherwise. “We will speak in the study. Benito, see everyone out.” The dog clasped a paw to his chest and nodded. As his head was dipped, he gave Flurry a cold look out of sight of his Kaiser.
The alicorn let Grover walk back up the staircase and out of sight, then teleported up a floor. She snapped back next to the hourglass. Grover blinked, having been staring at the staircase and waiting.
“Sorry,” she apologized. “It’s rude to teleport around, but it’s quicker.”
“If I could do so, I would,” Grover replied. “Words are wind. Why have you come?” He caught himself and crossed to his desk. “I mean no disrespect.”
“None taken,” Flurry shrugged. She levitated the folder out of her saddlebags and floated it over to his desk. A bag of Cheese Puffs fell out.
Grover raised a brow at the bag first. “You know, we have a warehouse full of those things just beyond the castle.” A wing pointed out into the rainstorm. “I have no idea how Featho-Lay acquired the contract. They probably bribed someone in the Fezeran mob.”
“The Cheese Puffs are unrelated,” Flurry claimed. “This is important.”
Grover twisted around and sat down in his chair. Flurry trotted forward, but remained several wingspans away. She stood quietly as he flicked through the folder. After several minutes of casual reading, the Kaiser didn’t seem to be impressed. With his back to her, she only had his curling tail and wings to judge.
“Benito should be finished downstairs,” Grover said in Aquileian. “None of my staff know this language. Check and ward the room.” He did not turn back around.
Flurry walked to the staircase and inspected the bottom floor. She cast the life detection spell, feeling it pulse though the upper stories. Grover, me, guards outside. Benito escorting more griffons below. Her horn glowed. The windows and walls shimmered gold after several seconds. Flurry trotted around and double-checked the spellwork.
“Can you cut the sound off as well?” Grover looked around the room.
“You want to talk to me under a bubble shield?” Flurry answered. “That’s the safest.”
She expected him to decline, but the griffon stood swiftly and tucked the folder under his left wing, up against the holstered pistol. He marched over to her with a speed that made her take a step back in reflex. Grover wasn’t blinking.
“Do it.” He halted a wingspan away and set the Reichstone down on the floor. He leaned the folder atop it and flipped through the pages with a claw.
The alicorn slowly formed a bubble shield around both of them, then turned it fully gold in her magic. The rain cut off, leaving only the crackle of her magic and the hum of her horn. Flurry sat down on her flank and heard a bag of Cheese Puffs crunch in her saddlebags. “So-”
Grover held up a single talon. Flurry clacked her muzzle shut. His eyes swept through the pages one more time before he unhooked his glasses and sighed. He rubbed the lenses on his white sleeve, blinking deep blue eyes. “Shit.”
“How eloquent,” Flurry said grimly. “That bad?”
“This makes no sense,” Grover said in Herzlander. “You believe they had this capability years ago? They would have bombed Canterlot. Or Manehattan during the landings.”
“That’s what Maud thought,” Flurry said. “Chrysalis tried something with my mother. The Heart held the shield, but it almost killed her.” It did kill her, in the end.
Grover’s cheeks pulled into a frown. He tapped a talon along the jewels of his crown while the other fiddled with the frames of his glasses. Without all his jackets, sashes, and overcoats, the Kaiser had a teenager’s body frame. His shoulders and wing joints still tugged on the nightshirt and it fit a little more snugly against his fur and feathers she remembered.
The griffon looked at her suddenly. They were close enough that his glasses weren’t an issue. “What do your ponies know about this?”
Flurry blinked and refocused. “We had a Balefire Bomb study, but it wasn’t pursued. Nopony knows a thing.”
“Uranium and Plutonium-”
“Grover,” Flurry waved her wings. “Please. I’m stupid. Use small words.”
Grover looked nonplussed, then chuckled. “I know little more,” he admitted. “Yale has a team looking into it. We call it a nuclear bomb. The crystals under Griffonstone seem promising, and the minerals from the Vedinan mountains might work.”
“Might?” Flurry seized on the wording.
“We diverted resources from Project Arcturius to tank development,” Grover studied his talons. “Heavy metals were best used as depleted rounds to pierce armor. The reactor process is challenging, doubly so when crystals are involved. The initial experiments killed several scientists with something Yale called ‘Maar’s Heart’ as a derogative.”
“You don’t have a bomb,” Flurry assumed.
“No,” Grover answered. “Eros did not pursue the project after several deaths, and I did not restart it in favor of other developments.” He closed the folder. “This might help Yale.”
“Go ahead,” Flurry waved a hoof. “Make sure it’s-”
“I’m not radioing this,” Grover preempted her. “Ancestors above, I will send a courier team with Chief Grimwing’s agents. How many on your end know?”
“Maud Pie, Sunset Shimmer, Thorax, maybe Spike?” Flurry guessed. “And, uh, Rainbow.”
Grover stared at her. He replaced his glasses. “Why do you tell-”
“She was there at the time,” Flurry defended with pinned ears. “It wasn’t my choice to tell her.”
Grover stared down at the folder. “If they had this years ago…” he trailed off in thought. “The ELF must have damaged them far more internally than I suspected.”
“Maybe they gave up?” Flurry guessed. “The Heart held the blast.”
Grover hummed. “It nearly broke. Speaking of that, are you…” he trailed off.
Flurry raised a brow. “What?”
“Can you actually lower the shield?” Grover asked.
“It cannot possibly go worse than last time.”
“There are proverbs about saying such things.” Grover closed the folder and tucked it back under a wing. He picked up the Reichstone and set it back atop his head. “Was that all? Your saddlebags were full of cheese snacks and nuclear research?”
“And drugs,” Flurry added.
Grover paused. “What kind of drugs?” he eventually asked.
“What?” Flurry whickered. “You gonna rat me out in my own castle?”
“I am just curious,” Grover responded. He swung the bob of his tail at the golden shield. Flurry dispelled the bubble and stood, stretching her legs. The griffon returned to his desk and placed the folder in a drawer. He locked it with a key that he looped into a keyring atop the table. “This leaves tomorrow by courier.”
“Alright,” Flurry acknowledged. “We have a copy.”
“I hope it is secured.”
“With Sunset.”
“Good,” Grover commented idly. He turned the chair around and sat down heavily, leaving the Reichstone on the table. The griffon ran a claw through his head feathers. “Do you usually walk around with drugs in your saddlebags?”
Flurry unclipped them and slung the bags at the seated griffon with a flick of her horn. He caught them with a squawk against his chest. “Since you're so interested like your dog, have a look.”
Grover hummed. “Benito smelled them? Or looked?” He opened the flap and flung a package of Cheese Puffs out of the way. He clacked his beak. “Oh.”
“Oh?” Flurry echoed.
“I thought you meant actual drugs,” Grover said flatly, “not cannabis.”
“What?” The alicorn tapped a rear leg and her sweatpants bounced. “It’s called Heart’s Desire or hemp or something.”
“Cannabis,” Grover answered. He glanced up at her over the rims of his glasses. “I suppose this might be a stronger strain,” the griffon allowed.
Flurry shook her head. “No. No, there’s no way you’ve done drugs.”
“It isn’t really a drug,” Grover retorted. “No worse than alcohol.”
“You don’t drink either.”
“I have.” Grover sounded annoyed. “We have wine with our meals. I do not make a habit of it, but a glass is traditional.” He clutched the saddlebags with both claws. “Princess? Do you not know what this is?”
Flurry looked away. “Celestia banned it.”
“Blessed Boreas, I thought you grew up in a ghetto.” Grover squawked in laughter and his voice cracked. “Even Eros would not ban this. It would be like banning alcohol. Griffons would riot. More than usual.”
“I should unban it?”
“You could tax it,” Grover suggested. “I do.”
“That’s very typical of a griffon to immediately think of money.”
Grover ignored her jab and upended the saddlebag on his desk after clearing away several papers. He casually tossed the Cheese Puff bags behind him to Flurry, then hummed. “Decent paper. A little crinkled. Where did you get this?”
“Tzinacatl.”
He poked at some of the flowers. Flurry trotted up to the chair and stared over a wing. “You fold it up like-”
Grover rolled his eyes and smoothed out a piece of paper. He proceeded to roll some of the flowers into it with casual ease. “I remember how to do this.”
“You’re going to have to explain this.”
“Brodfeld is known for rice.” Grover inspected the rolled paper and pinched the ends. “When we invaded the Evi Valley, half the fields were not actually rice. The battles caused fires to break out. I am told the Reichsarmee had fun, relatively speaking.” He licked it and ran it under his beak. “This is probably a stronger strain.”
“It makes heart eyes.”
“Really?” The griffon's head feathers puffed in surprise. He hummed. “I have heard that was possible. Never seen it.” He opened a drawer and fished out a box of matches.
Flurry’s eyes narrowed. “What are you doing?” Grover’s look was best described as ‘smug and patronizing.’ “You are not smoking my drugs.”
The griffon frowned, then clacked his beak and waved his claws at the table. “Very well. I take it you are returning to your room to 'smoke your drugs?'” He kept the single rolled paper. “This is called a reefer and you smoke it down to a blunt, by the way.”
“I thought it was called a cigarette or something. It looks like one.”
Grover looked incredulously at her. “How are you so murderous and so sheltered?” He shook his head. “Can you even fold one?”
Flurry’s horn glowed and she shoved the chair aside with the griffon still in it. Grover clutched the armrests as the chair skidded a body length to the left of the table. He laughed again and his voice cracked. The alicorn ignored him.
She stuck her tongue out and concentrated, grabbing a slice of the thin, strangely textured parchment paper and placing some of the herbs inside it. “Too much,” Grover offered. “It won’t roll well.” Flurry removed some of them and rolled the paper up. The edges folded awkwardly, so she crunched them inside and rerolled it. “Too much paper.” The alicorn ripped off the end and folded it flat. She held up her ‘reefer’ triumphantly.
It was crooked and shaped more like a right angle than a cigarette. Grover held up his own above his head to compare. It was almost perfectly straight. Her muzzle collapsed into a frown.
“That is impressively bad,” Grover admitted.
Flurry dragged his chair back to the desk. Her horn sparked. “You do it, then. I’ll let you have some.”
The griffon stared at the supplies. “Three-quarters. I am doing all the work.”
“Half,” Flurry whinnied.
“Done,” Grover said far too quickly. He sliced one of the papers with a talon and licked the edges. “This will be quick. Here.” He offered her the original.
Flurry levitated it over to her muzzle and stared cross-eyed at it. “So I just smoke it?”
Grover set the half-rolled reefer down and muttered something. “Light the end. Let it burn for a moment, then inhale. Hold the smoke inside your lungs, then exhale. Perhaps out your nose. Have you seriously-”
“No.” Flurry’s ears jittered. Guess Thorax was more careful than I gave him credit for. “I guess I smelled it around, but nopony talked to me about it.”
“Eros did not give me the talk until he caught me,” Grover chuckled. He set the ‘reefers’ aside in a neat line. “Granted, ours did not cause ‘heart eyes.’ The Griffonian variants are not particularly strong. Nor magical.”
“How’d you even get them?”
“Ordered Benito,” Grover responded simply.
Flurry lit the end with a candlewick of a flame from her horn. She watched it burn for a moment and the smoke made her muzzle curl. She levitated it up to her muzzle and her expression froze. “I’m inhaling,” she mumbled around the burning reefer.
“We have far more difficulty doing this than you should.” Grover gestured to his beak. “Suck on the Maar-damned thing.”
Flurry’s eyes turned wrathful. Her horn briefly burst into golden flame.
Grover did not look intimidated. “You know what I meant.” He turned back to the desk with flexing wings and resumed rolling more with mechanical precision. Flurry noted the later ones looked better as he fell into a rhythm. She pursed her lips and inhaled.
The reefer fell out of her mouth as she burst into a brutal hacking fit. Her legs shook and wings spasmed. Grover actually stopped and fully turned around in the chair to watch the alicorn pound a hoof into her barrel.
“That’s…” Flurry gasped. “That’s rancid. Oh, fuck. That’s worse than that beer.”
The burning blunt rolled to Grover’s paws. He leaned over and picked it up. He held it up to his nostrils and sniffed, then brought it to the tip of his beak. Flurry watched his cheeks puff and inhale.
Grover was motionless for a few moments, then snorted a plume of smoke out of his nose. He purred, voice slightly raspier. “Stronger than I expected.” He pulled from it again, deep blue eyes pinched in thought. They did not resemble hearts.
I am not being outdone by a fucking nerd. Flurry seized one of the others and lit the end, then shoved it into her muzzle and inhaled. She nearly gagged, but held the smoke in her lungs for several seconds before snorting it out with a quivering, full-body shake. Her mouth tasted like spoiled milk.
“Better,” Grover assessed. He stubbed out the end of the blunt on the Reichstone, then left the remains atop the crown. The griffon set aside four more. “I can get a dozen out of this, perhaps less. Half.”
Flurry Heart grabbed all of them and tucked them in the feathers of her left wing. She nickered angrily around the blunt in her mouth, glancing around the room. The room was just as bare as it was when she snuck in. She thought for a moment. There’s furniture downstairs. The alicorn stomped down to the lower floor.
Several minutes later, cushions and pillowcases flew up through the stairwell and landed with a thump. Flurry continued to ransack the lower floor for chair cushions and throw pillows from varying sources. Most of them were dusty. She spat out one of the blunts once she tasted ash on her lips and lit another.
This one doesn’t suck as much. Flurry continued to chuck pillows up the spiral staircase. She snorted out smoke involuntarily. Suck. Stupid nerdbird.
Flurry stole one of the spare bedsheets last and trotted up with it draped on her back. Grover had finished and was reclining in the chair, staring at the pile of assorted cushions and pillows from his royal bedchambers. He had removed his glasses to squint, but his eyes looked fine.
“You don’t have any fucking furniture up here,” Flurry grunted around the blunt.
“I thought you were returning to your room.”
“I can teleport back whenever I want,” she replied. “I let Sunset use my jacuzzi.”
“This is normal behavior when you are not floating in the sky?” Grover asked. “You let your high command use your private bathroom?”
“They let me use theirs,” Flurry returned. “What? Think they’ll plant a bomb?”
“The former student of Princess Celestia?” Grover drawled. “Perish the thought, Princess.”
Flurry bent two feathers out and stuck them up at him. Grover flashed two talons in response. She lit another reefer after stomping out the old one. “Do my eyes look weird?”
“No,” Grover glanced at her. “Give it time.”
Flurry shoved the cushions together haphazardly and sprawled herself across the lumpy-but-soft makeshift couch. “You want a cushion?”
“I will take an empty bag of Cheese Puffs,” Grover answered. He slung a canteen of water over a wing. Flurry caught it just before it hit a throw pillow. “For your thirst.”
“It makes you thirsty?”
“Hungry.”
The alicorn levitated over a bag. The dozen or so bags of cheese snacks were strewn across the room between the desk and her 'couch.' She dragged one over after finishing the third blunt and ripped it open. Might as well try these. After finishing the bag, she rolled over and stared at the domed ceiling, listening to the falling rain.
Grover returned to some documents, leafing through them idly. Smoke drifted across his desk. He lit another with a match and hummed appreciatively.
Flurry Heart lit her fourth and held it between two primary feathers. She brought her wing up to her muzzle and inhaled. Oh, that works better. Her other wing fumbled at a bag of Cheese Puffs and pulled it open. She alternated between the snack and the smoke for a few minutes.
She looked upside down back at Grover’s chair. He was partially turned back to his desk, and she couldn’t see his eyes around the frames of his glasses. “You were kind of a dick to Velvet and Ember earlier.”
“You have not had to share a castle with Queen Velvet for several weeks,” Grover replied. “This is her last chance to remain relevant. Olenia can easily be a military occupation in the aftermath. She believes she is bargaining from a far stronger standing.” He purred. “Or not, as it were.”
“Don’t be a dick,” Flurry said warningly.
“Dragon Lord Ember cannot back out of this war after reengaging,” Grover continued. “The dragons have done nothing for years, and nothing while the largest war in the world was fought just beyond their islands. If she storms out in some failed diplomatic play, she returns to the Dragon Isles only to be ousted.”
“She’s trying to do the right thing,” Flurry mumbled around crunching cheese snacks.
“She could not sit out this war,” the griffon growled. “She only made her choice once the Hegemony suffered a crushing defeat so she could taste the spoils of war and solidify her position. The elder dragons only respected her as Dragon Lord because of her father. Any one of them could claim the Bloodstone Scepter at any moment. She has to prove herself, and that means fighting.”
Flurry tasted ash and spat out the blunt. She rolled an upside-down hoof on the cushion before it could burn into the bedsheet below. A wing blindly groped for another bag of Cheese Puffs, but she held it to her barrel before opening it.
“Yeah,” the alicorn sighed. She rubbed her head against a pillow, feeling the crystal band press into her mane. “That makes more sense. Friendship doesn’t stop bullets. Didn’t stop the tanks. What’s it really worth?”
“Everything.”
Flurry looked away from the ceiling. Grover had stopped fiddling with his papers and stubbed out another burning blunt on the Reichstone. She watched his wings fold against his back.
“Perhaps I am wrong.” Grover swished his tail. “Torch is long dead. The dragons must respect his memory to not have challenged his daughter so far, and she gains nothing from this immediately. The war has not been decided yet. Twilight Sparke was her friend.”
“She was everyone’s friend,” Flurry muttered. “Except you, I guess.”
“I hardly take that personally,” Grover laughed. He twisted around in his chair. "Velvet and Ember will be in your sphere of influence."
Flurry giggled.
Grover blinked heart-shaped pupils. “I take it there’s an effect?”
“No,” the alicorn lied. She tore open the bag and shoveled Cheese Puffs into her muzzle. “How about me?”
“Surprisingly, no,” the griffon admitted. “It may not work on alicorns if there is a magical component.” He drummed his talons on the desk and twisted back. “Shame. I took a bath earlier and now my feathers smell of smoke.”
“I always smell like smoke,” Flurry shrugged. Or tried to. She was upside down on her back in a pile of cushions, so it mostly looked like a wiggle of her hooves. Her wing reached into the bag of Cheese Puffs after several minutes of listening to the rain. The feathers came back a dusty orange and empty.
Flurry Heart frowned and pawed at the empty bag of Cheese Puffs. She knocked it over to the others and puffed her lips. “This shit sucks. I don’t feel anything.”
Grover glanced over at her from the desk. He opened a drawer and rummaged through it, then tossed a small compact mirror over to the pile of cushions. “Catch.”
Her horn glowed, and her magic missed. The mirror landed on a throw pillow. “Nice throw, nerdbird.” Flurry wiggled her wing over to the mirror and tugged it close to her with two feathers. “What’s this for?”
“Look,” Grover deadpanned.
Flurry squinted into the mirror. “Aw, fuck.”
“You are feeling it.”
“I’m feeling it,” Flurry confirmed.
Her pupils were shaped like little black hearts in a sea of glacial ice. I have hearts to match the Hearts on my ass. She snorted in laughter and tossed her head back. “Hey Grover.”
“Yes?”
“I have four hearts.”
“Technically, you have five.”
“You’re a buzzkill even when you’re high,” the alicorn whined. Her horn sparked and she tried to sweep the papers off his desk. Instead, the entire desk lurched sideways. Whoops. Grover turned back to her with a flat expression, even despite the eyes.
“Look upon the alicorn,” said alicorn trilled. “Marry me or die.” Her feathers were dusted orange at the wingtips and the sweatpants were stained. Flurry let the remaining reefer roll onto the pillows. “Who wouldn’t want this?”
“I had to think about it for several days,” Grover reminded her.
“Reconsidering your choices?”
“If I knew you were a teetotaler, yes,” Grover retorted. He folded his arms. “Are you even capable of teleporting? You should have paced yourself.”
“You should have paced yourself,” Flurry imitated him in Herzlander. Her high-pitched voice could not go low enough, so she sounded like she was attempting to chew rocks. “I can teleport. Where’s the Cheese Puff storage?”
Grover rolled his eyes. “Somewhere in Lower Canterlot.” He opened a drawer and scanned through a thick logbook. “Give me a moment.”
Flurry smacked her lips as she stared at him. “You cannot possibly track-”
“Warehouse 17 off the airship dockyards,” Grover said smugly. “It is only a partial shipment. The Reichsarmee hates the damn things. If you want them for your Imperial Army-”
“I am requisitioning them,” Flurry confirmed. Her horn sparked, and the magic wobbled around the tip. “I’ll be right back.”
She snapped away before Grover could open his beak. Flurry reappeared in an alleyway in Lower Canterlot, and was quickly drenched in falling rain. She looked to the dockyards and teleported again.
It took her nine tries to find the warehouse, and she accidentally caused several alarms from the crack of her magic. The warehouse itself was an incredibly low priority target for any sabotage, and Flurry was beside herself with laughter to realize the ‘partial shipment’ was several hundred wooden crates of individually packaged packets of Cheese Puffs.
She frowned after smashing open a box clumsily. These bags are so annoying. The alicorn tore them open with her magic and collected the puffs in her aura, holding several thousand in a giant ball above her horn.
A griffon guard opened the warehouse garage door. He was in a raincoat.
Flurry stared at him below a vibrating mass of cheese. She was dripping wet.
The griffon closed the garage door wordlessly.
The alicorn concentrated and closed her eyes. Okay, quick teleport back and-
She vanished with a pop and was suddenly compacted by the thousand of puffs around her. There was a keening screech somewhere above her. Flurry shook her head and swam upwards through the airy flakes, popping up close to the ceiling of a bedroom that was far too small. She recognized the wooden enamel textures for the guest quarters. Misfire. Whoops. Haven’t done that since I was a foal.
“Sorry!” Flurry trilled out. The Cheese Puffs were brushed aside by a dark claw a few hooves away, and a beak poked out, heaving in surprise. The griffon braced a claw on the ceiling and hauled himself up.
Grover’s eyes widened at her. “P-princess?”
Flurry’s muzzle twitched. She paused for several moments at his normal pupils, then splayed her wings out for more surface area and slowly spun around the room. Her horn scraped the ceiling. “Oh,” she finally realized. “Hey, Henrik.”
Henrik said nothing. A claw brushed through the Cheese Puffs as he ‘swam’ to stay at the top of the cheesy sea. The alicorn smiled apologetically at him.
“Sorry. I was aiming for Grover. Is Katherine stuck down there?”
“I-I was asleep.” His Herzlander was a soft whimper.
“With her?” Flurry winked.
Henrik’s head feathers flexed. “N-no? Princess, a-are your eyes alright?”
“I was doing drugs with Grover,” Flurry said casually. Her muzzle quirked. “Hey…do you wanna go get high with the Kaiser?”
Henrik sank down into the Cheese Puffs. “I don’t think I have a choice in this.”
“I’m gonna be honest,” Flurry replied. “You don’t. I don’t have the coordination to teleport the Cheese Puffs without you coming along. Sorry.” Her horn glowed again, partially stuck in the ceiling.
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Benito is such a diligent and hard worker. We should all aspire to be more like Benito.
This had better end in cuddles. Also looks like everyone panicking that Benito had been grabbed by vops was wrong. Nice. High Flurry is hillarious. Poor Henrik XD
They're barely even friends, Benito! We've got at least 20 more chapters before we get that far XD
When Gladstone (Prime Minister) asked Faraday (scientist) what use electricity was, Faraday replied "Someday, my lord, you may tax it."
So, the same about weed.
Heavy use is addictive & harmful. Probably not as bad as alcohol. (WAY less painful hangover & never heard of an OD.)
Definitely not as bad as tobacco.
If I was asked to guess how this chapter was going to go, I would not have been able to predict Flurry and Grover would end up smoking Maar’s lettuce. None the less, an amazing development, excited to see what antics our stoners get up to.
Omg this chapter is hilarious. I can’t believe Flurry and Grover are smoking joints and getting high
As always, Flurry and Grover are absolutely adorable when they're able to relax. And it is funny that Grover knows more about drugs than Flurry despite their radically different upbringing. Hell, Flurry is surprisingly abstinent when it comes to substances. Also sad to hear that Griffin cheetos are apparently shit.
As expected, Flurry has no one who can work on a nuke and the Griffin project had it's funding diverted to focus on tanks. At least we know Chrysalis had her project on hold until Flurry became an active threat, though how close the changelings are is still an unknown.
media.tenor.com/5mNIzRVncx4AAAAC/ludacris-spit.gif
"Dude, where's my castle?"
-Flurry Heart probably
On an unrelated note, seeing a "The Hangover" type senerio would be mad funny between Imperial, Equestrian and Griffonian commands.
A wise guard if there ever was one.
This is normally where I'd dump my flask of fine Scotch Whiskey, swear myself to sobriety, snap a number of very incriminating blackmail photos, and proceed to live out the remainder of my days on a very rural piece of river front property. Normally. Then one must remember who her uncles are.
You have no idea how much I am laughing over the possible scenarios that could happen because of those three getting stoned.
Just the fact that GROVER of all people is the one with more experience on this is funny enough. Although Spike can't be mad since he did tell her to rest/relax.
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I'm hoping for a "Heavy Water" development situation when it comes to the hegemony's atomic program.
Inb4 Benito walks in the next morning to find (a maybe pantsless) Flurry Heart flanked by two Grovers, lol!
"I'm the filling of a Kaiser Roll sandwich!"
But, for real, it's always a delight to see these two having just non-rulership moments together where they can each let down their respective barriers. They both need them, but maybe especially Flurry.
Someday Princess Pig Pen here will have a real bath. However, something tells me that it's not even going to be after her feathers stink of skunk and those Cheesy Poofs have her looking more orange than Sunset though...
Tuning in for the next chapter: "Dr Strangehooves or: How I learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bong"
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Benito has found them in compromising positions before. He's just being a good parental figure. And I find it very funny that the the Griffons gave better drug laws then the ponies.
Wait I just thought of some, we are focused on both Grover and Benito. What about Henrik? He could be replaced by vops.
Gee, I sure wonder what happened with that 'Maar's heart' thingie.
I sure hope nogriff fiddled at it with a screwdriver.
Putting my feelings and opinions on the use of drugs aside; I do enjoy seeing Grover and Flurry having a moment to relax and unwind. It also saddens me a bit seeing the former Elements of Harmony being so distant with each other but one could make a case that they are representing hoe little Harmony is left in Equestria. The war is far from over of course but hopefully we will see a bit of healing between former friends.
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A few weeks after Twilight wakes up:
"You're too late, Twlight! Weed has been LEGALIZED! HAHAHAHAHA!"
Twilight looks down in disappointment as Flurry rolls around on a mass of pillows and cheese puffs.
Alcorn rolls worst joint ever
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I thought the same thing earlier, I love how everybody started accusing every character of being an agent since the prediction.
I never thought I would find weed smoking Grover so funny, Benito was an absolute lad getting him cannabis but I also feel bad for him having to do it.
Don't do drugs kids, unless your Kaiser or Princess orders you to, apparently.
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It's quite a blast making theories and speculations. Tho it'll be really funny if it turns out that the deer was just high, and the prediction/prophecy was just never mentioned again in the story.
The royals getting high was absolutely priceless, it came so out of left field and surprised me, I really enjoyed it though. I don’t know how you keep putting out these high quality chapters, but you are a legend mate
Flurry Heart being a lightweight is fucking hilarious to me and hey legalizing weed is definitely a great way to help fund the reconstruction especially if it is of such a high quality and Griffons are shit at making it.
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Or maybe she was actually predicting Grover getting high with Benito but was super cryptic about it.
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"BUT YOU'RE THE ONE GETTING SMOKED, FLURRY! HNNNNNNNNNNNN!"
media.tenor.com/2IIexCAIocEAAAAC/supaidaman-spiderman.gif
Flurry and grover 2 hours later:
I love when you can tell a writer is familiar with the subject they're writing about.
It's weird to call a chapter where Flurry and Grover both realize that they might have a nuclear bomb to deal with from Chrysalis "wholesome", but this chapter was definitely wholesome. The moments where these two can just be themselves are few and far between, but I enjoy them always. Flurry is always a wrecking ball towards social etiquette in the best ways possible, but Grover being the one more familiar with weed caught me off guard. And then everything with the cheese balls.
"This is above my pay grade."
Of course, something this cute and sweet is probably about to be followed by something horrible happening.
I'd forgotten about Henrik, admittedly. And now that he's back on the board, my alarms are going off over that deer's prophecy.
>check story
>no chapter
>check story 2 hours later
>chapter
How does he do this?
I've never had weed and never intend to (its very illegal in texas), so I cant judge the accuracy of this chapter, but still, 10/10
I just remembered what I originally wanted to put here, remember that one scene from Batman: mystery of the Batwoman where a guard sees him and just walks away?
https://youtu.be/pMd4S-LkywI
Well, she have to relax in someway that dosnt require a magic nuke shield go poof :)
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As for accuracy, pretty accurate. Though in non fictional settings it just makes your eyes bloodshot / red.
Increased appetite aka the munchies is a very common effect. Though in real life you'll also want to get a 2 liter of soda for the dry mouth.
Impaired judgement I believe is pretty common when your new to weed. Or at least it seemed that way to me, but my sample size may be biased as everyone I know tried it in their late teens / early adult life. Where having an excuse to act like you have impaired judgement is pretty normal.
You'll mostly hear positive weed stories from people, there are weed horror stories out there. Though about 95% of those stories begin with "I ate one edible and didn't feel anything so I ate another"
Which is common to anyone that isn't told, or doesn't intuitively know the massive differences that can happen when you take a drug in a different form. Luckily you can't OD from it, but you can be screaming in the back of an ambulance going to the ER because you think your dying.
You know if there was no war and these two had net in college they would have been in trouble oh so much.
>See new chapter.
>Excited for more Velvet, maybe even the invasion.
>It's just Flurry and Grover getting high. -_-
-Teetotaler reader
I can imagine grover looking out his rooms balcony and seeing & hearing 9 different alarms throughout lower canterlot
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Nah, it's WAY funnier if she's the little spoon.
Nice
Alcohol is a drug.
*sighs* It'd be nice if there were at least a few stories on this site that don't automatically assume that TreeHugger was a druggie just 'cause she was a hippie. I knew plenty of actual hippies back in the day who absolutely hated drugs, probably even more so than the actual narcs (most of the narcs were actually dealing on the side). The stereotype is so cliched.
On a more serious note, I wonder why Sunset didn't know more about the nukes? Did the history of Equestria Girls universe not unfold with WMD's? The quip with her taking classes twice got a chuckle out of me, by the way.
Cheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeese
A few months late, but this reference is awesome
Typo?
That's funny
I dunno why this made me chuckle a lot 😂
This was such an amazing chapter 😂😂😂😂😂
Kaiser, give this man a promotion. He is the smartest of your soldiers.
Absolute banger of a chapter