Raven finds himself in a world with talking ponies, bug pony queens who wants a piece of him, a sea horse who wants tacos, and singing... There could have been worse places to end up at.
Page generated in 0.031 seconds
Total duration
967 users online
1,936,247 hits today, 2,917,851 yesterday
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
That ending...... oof, right in the feels, but in a good way haha
We need more!
Especially
Since Horseshoe Bay is the name of the location, it should both begin with big letters. hurt and went
Now if you’ll excuse me, I will be going back to my chambers. everypony
Capital on pony isn’t wrong but it’s not necessary, there should be a dot at the end of names.
Everything that follows this is in BOLD.
Don’t say that!
I can never
PS
Deja-vu and for reason there’s a jump here after “it?”.
Everydragon worth their horde either ran or flew away screaming.
are either dead or long gone.
had to defend themselves, man’s heart out and crushed it right in front of his face!
I get what you were trying to do here, but I would have used Italic on path instead of quotation marks.
New Elria, Elrians and mercenary
Man, what a beautiful ending for act I. I have to say, this might just be my new favorite dark fic on this sight. While it sure is dark from time to time, it balances it out by adding those happy and cute moments that makes it bearable.
What many things you’ve now set up, Celestia wants to meet Raven (the human, not her assistant), the Elements and Princess and Prince of Love are on their way, the dragons are shing themselves, and Myxine is angy.
Also, something I found out recently. Apparantly Queen Myxine is the youngest of the changeling queens, which I found interesting since that could explain why her hive is the smallest.
PS. While it doesn’t really need correction, I just wanted to make sure that you knew. Zebrica is the fanmade name for the continent which the zebras hail from. Farasi is the official name of the country, with it’s main capital being called Zebrat and it’s ruler being Prince Abraxas. It’s also the home of the abada and kelpies. A continent can have multiple rulers, so again, what you wrote isn’t wrong.
this is why you never use shitty word programs unless u have to. there just stupidly unreliable.
Act 1 done, but the amount of problems heading to Raven will cause headaches.
Queen Myxine might be angry now, but if Raven is able to complete the alchemy to produce love vials, then she can easily be secured as an ally. And not to forget he's already planning on beating up Chrysalis himself.
Twilight and Co. will be hard to persuade, but the familiar faces in Raven's group (Pinkie clone, Maud, Vinyl, Photo Finish and Moondancer) will cause them to pause enough to talk.
And the dragons are so going to have nightmares after this.
11258566
as always, thank you for your help! And if you wondering why there were random " marks everywhere? That was Grammarly, when I tried using the program it went fucked up half of the chapter. I replaced letters with the mark and for some other dumb reason, some words were duplicated. It was a nightmare to go through.
I just straight up ignore the comics, I might take some stuff from it, but in my eyes, they aren't canon. The show writers certainly don't treat it as such. because If I did I would need to include the deer that live in the everfree forest. I'm replacing them with the deerfolk from TFH. As for the abada and kelpies, eh? I'm not too worried about them. Also ignoring the umbrum storyline, something with the Changelings coming from a rotten tree. The only thing I might not ignore from the comics is Tirek's backstory from the comics.
11258824
You don’t really need to base everything from the comics, but they do help from time to time with world building. Even though not everything might be agreeable, like the changeling tree. I personally like the additional races and tribes that the comics give, like the deer kingdom, diamond dog kingdom, abyssinian kingdom and bird kingdom. I like to mix together bits from both the comics and the Equestria at War game, since it also adds much world building.
Also, translation and spelling programs like Grammarly are so unreliable when writing fiction. You might as well use Word or Google Drive instead.
Oh boy, act two will be glorious it seems. Can’t wait to see the next chapter!
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/512016/28/raven-revenant/chapter-26#:~:text=%22New%20Elria%2C%20in%20honor%20of%20Elria%20and%20those%20who%20came%20before%20us.%20From%20this%20day%20forward%2C%22
Thank you. But most of all, that’s clever. Naming a country after your dead friends. Also, thank you for shedding a little light on what our Equestrian oppressors are thinking right now. But if I may ask a couple of requests to boost your ratings even further in the story, would you mind doing it?
First one, posting that raven banner we discussed in PM. Second, could you post a Halgen speech video from Killzone? And could you add along with making an ‘actual’ speech of inspiration for Raven if he decides to address his newfound nation? Trust me, it’s gonna rock.
Raven you get a lot of people after you got a changeling queen who Wants Revenge you got the main 6 Princess Cadence Shining Armor and backup. I hope you are prepared
“Humans have catalogued every known poison and synthesized countless others.
We detonate hydrogen bombs in our only atmosphere.
We’ve nailed the son of our own god to a cross for Christ’s sake!
Do not screw with the human race.”
I applaud you and your work.
11261405
Thank you 😊