This could be interesting. I wonder if Cadance and Shining Armor will be falling for Umbra? This will definitely be interesting to see where she came from.

Great start i look forward to where this story goes and the name of the human child who will get adopted by Queen Sombra. If i may offer a name "Valerie" if a girl and "Victor" if a boy. I look forward to your next chapter!

10965643
Do you mean where Cadance noted she was a princess? Queen Umbra took that to mean, in that moment, that she must be the mother of Cadance, and thus her daughter, and was clearly tickled positively at the idea.

No i meant the human child that Queen Sombra would adopt not her adopting Cadance as her daughter as Cadance is a pony. I found this story under the category "Adopted by Royalty" and that "Human" was one of your tags so i assumed this was another story where human children gets lost in Equestria or brought there by some external force and gets adopted by ponies or in this case Royal ponies. But based on your response comment this is not the case. If so someone on this website misplaced your Story in this category. If so what kind of category should this story be placed in? Which sucks because there isn't very many stories where Queen Sombra or Umbra as most fans know the genderbent Sombra as, where she adopts a human child and raises them.

10965668
Queen Umbra is the human, confused. We shall dive into their past and where they came from.

10965674
Oh then this story isn't an "Adopted by Royalty" story. This is a "Human transformed into pony" Story. Someone on the website misplaced this story's category. Damn, that sucks and here i was hoping for a human child adopted by Queen Sombra story as there is a lack of stories like this that potray her as a mother/father figure instead of evil tyrant. Well i still look forward to where this story goes nonetheless. Even if i get denied an adoptive momma/daddy Sombra for a human child lol

10965686
Sorry about that. I wasn't trying to mislead folks, honest!

We have you surrounded!

Do not attempt to move or we'll be shooting ourselves!

We have you surrounded!

Do not attempt to move or we'll be shooting ourselves!

If word gets out that there was a battle between King Sombra and Queen Umbra of the Crystal Empire, do you think that some ponies will misinterpret that it was a quarrel between husband and wife?

Like with the legend of Nightmare Moon, stories have been corrupted over the last 1000+ years to the point that the real truth is forgotten.

That combined with the the Crystal Ponies' collective amnesia it would be easier to believe that this was an ugly divorce rather than a fight between interdimensional counterparts where one of them is a human transformed into a pony.

could it be a romantic story too ?? the story would be better and it would be a romantic relationship between the "queen Umbra" - Cadence and shining armor . This is just an idea but it would help to create a longer story that would make sense and I would like to follow.

10965709
I believe you just be careful when categorizing your story next time

I hope this isn't another one of your r63 stories. At least let the girl have --something-- familiar about herself. Otherwise she'll probably end up with a complex

Wanting to return to what s/he was before would be a huge trauma irl. And only a small number of people want to swap genders, statistically, so it'd be hugely unlikely that a random selection of humans would snag one.

Transgenders are, after all, a minority.

So just make it non random if youre going that route, is my point

10966342

You know you can keep all of those replies in the same comment, especially since they have a common idea, so you don't bloat out the comment count.

"Queen Umbra" has been inserted into the original story (rather than being a modified established character in universe) and she's not really Sombra's female equivalent (no memories of ruling over the Crystal Empire). There's no mention of any other character being genderbent so I don't think this qualifies as a traditional R63 story.

10966372
So what, do you think I should edit while my brain gets its butt in gear to finish the thought? Should I edit right now?

Any reason why Queen Umbra starts out named as Queen Sombra, then it's switched to Queen Umbra in the middle of the story for no clear reason, and then back again just as fast?

Or is it just an editing mistake?

10966416

Yeah I just noticed that too.

It would make more sense if it was consistently "Queen Sombra" since she hasn't given anyone a name she goes by, they've only called her Sombra and not Umbra, and "Queen" Sombra seems to be a working title they've given her to differentiate her from "King" Sombra.

so cadence and shining feel what queenie feels? this can only go well

10966443

10966416
Fixed!

LMAO!! That thing with the bath was hilarious! This story has my attention!

10967269
Yeeap. One to read, it would seem.

10967269
I wonder what she'll feel when Cady and Shiny will have healthy married sex. Will it make that threesome? Or they'd have to invite her to their bed to make it threesome?

(sorry, not sorry)

A lot of people are getting thirsty at the thought of Queenie getting together with Shining Armor, Cadence, or both.

I get it, but this the story just started, is rated Teen, and Romance isn't one of the tags. At this point Queenie is a potentially dangerous unknown to them, at least give them some more time to interact so they can get to know her.

Me likey so far. Looking forward to seeing where you take this!

10968041
I was joking, duh. Not that I'm against clop, but your argument is quite valid, and I thought it too.

10968233
I took your comment as a joke being made anyways lol

I can tell that this will be a treat!

This could become interesting.
I hope to see more of this, despite the fighting part seeming slightly messy.

10965647
Heh this could become really interesting if you flesh out the details and you don't achieve to much in each chapter!! Good luck!!

10965643
Where did it say anything about her adopting a human child?

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Again i said " I assumed it was an adopt a human child" because when i found this story it was under the category "Adopted by Royalty" so when i clicked on the story i saw one of the tags was "human" so i ASSUMED it was another human child adopted by ponies story but the author corrected me. But like i said to them "Drat i wish it was a human child adopted by Queen Sombra\Umbra because there is a lack of Sombra\Umbra stories about adopting human children and loving them" or something like that

10969136
Okay. That makes sense.

I was just curious about your line of thought behind the comment, so thank you for explaining.

10969138
No problem👍😊

It has been far too long since we've had a human turned into sombra and I enjoy the idea hope you actually finish this story unlike the many others that got canceled

This is indeed an intriguing start.

Might want to mark it as transformation. I came here thinking the "other shadowy overlord" was Anon being an asshole again.

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Extra keywords added.

This story is very messy, it's hard to tell what's going on

10974863
This.
It's interesting, but kinda hard to parse until the two characters get identified.
I suppose that does kind of get across how confusing something like this would actually be (which could well be the point), not that it makes following it any easier.

I like it already

Now this is what I call Interesting

But magic reached him, from two directions. Dark magic and vibrant love magic cashed in that center point, and the world seemed to pause a moment.

crashed - you are missing a 'r'

Making a great Hyena impression at the moment.
They can't cuddle or hoove one out without the other sharing it ♡

Cadance peeked at the She-Sombra and saw a heart that was not kind and loving. Torn, savaged, and ugly at a glance. But it was not entirely without love. The heart she peeked through withered, but did not fall to ash. "Not a big step up..." But still, a step up. "If I have to target one..." She angled her horn at He-Sombra.

The black heart of the troon...

"Some marbles you think are going to be a limited edition with king design, but then they're the equally limited but much more surprising female king marble. Some may argue that's debatably rarer. I'd argue that's anxiety inducing."

11541900
Sorry.

They will learn of one another very intimately, Shining to be a mare and Cadance of being a stallion.
Sex sure will be interesting ♡