Chapter 43: The Ones on My Mind
Vinyl’s blood, dribbling down the side of her head. Her tears, staining her face. Her eyes. bouncing between lucidity and an unfocused gaze. But the worst of all was her delirious, self-hating muttering, squeezed between hyperventilating gasps for air. Her desperate apologies, begging for forgiveness for nothing.
Fancy Pants had no idea what to do with any of it.
To say he was unnerved would be an understatement. It’d be one thing if she was just hurt, but the emotional duress was pure torture. He couldn’t imagine being on the other side of it. Even when Vinyl was barely conscious, unable to form sentences, the first words on her mind were still those accursed ideas twisting in her head. They weren’t true. Not a single one. Why did she believe those things?
No, that was the wrong question. He knew why. Exactly why. A little filly deprived of love and support. Why did she have to believe those things, despite all the living proof around her screaming the opposite?
Fancy hadn’t give it much thought at first, but Vinyl constantly apologized for every little thing. Some ponies were just like that, but her frequency, her fervency, her urgency; it was all so disquieting. Her pleas felt so terribly genuine whenever she said she was sorry, and Fancy was so tired of hearing it. Explaining she had no reason to apologize didn’t help, so he’d relented just to make it stop. Her reaction was almost unbearable.
“R-really?” Vinyl asked with a glimmer of hope.
Why? Just… why? If it was the right question, he simply had no answers.
The sheer joyous relief on her face hurt to consider. He’d just given into her senseless begging trying to calm her down, and yet his acceptance meant the world to her. Vinyl was always begging for forgiveness, from big things to little things, and for absolutely nothing at all. She was just sorry. Sorry for troubling, sorry for mistaking, sorry for just being. It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t right. A mare like Vinyl shouldn’t have to feel like she was causing trouble for everypony no matter what. If she could only see what Fancy saw. Everytime she outperformed his expectations. She was so talented, so brilliant, and so…
At once, the fear in her eyes melted away as she smiled in complete relief. Fancy felt a pressure on his hoof pushed back as Vinyl leaned her head into it, breathing easier just from his words alone.
“I trust you too.”
And so…
“Fancy Pants? Are you there?”
“Fancy Pants?” Celestia asked again, nudging his side.
He popped up from his musing, seeing Princess Celestia smiling softly upon her envoy as she waited with eternal patience.
“Welcome back. Did you have a good daydream?” she asked with a calm, yet cheeky smirk.
“I apologize, your highnesses. My mind went elsewhere,” he explained as he felt his unsteady aura leave the crystal in his pocket.
“We could see that,” Luna remarked with concern. “Perhaps the question was more difficult than we anticipated?”
Refocusing on reality, Fancy remembered he was in the middle of him and Luna giving Princess Celestia a tour of the ballroom proposals. He flipped through his notes, trying to determine what stage they were at in the process.
“I don’t think that’s it, Lulu,” Celestia teased as she nudged Fancy’s hooves away from his search. “Our good stallion’s attention is simply a little divided.” With perfect precision, she magically jumped to the page they were all on and highlighted the paragraph.
“My apologies, your highnesses.”
Celestia giggled to herself. “Don’t you worry about that. I’m sure whatever it was that you were lost within is also important, my most capable envoy. However, we need you here to help with the summit planning.”
“Of course. If you will pardon my rudeness, could you repeat your question, Luna?”
Luna furrowed her brow, giving Fancy a soul-piercing glance before returning to her own clipboard. “In regards to the delegates, I cannot recall if we determined how we were going to approach their attendance. In our last meeting, we were divided between a guided cultural tour of the sections and having them explore the ballroom at their leisure. You said there were benefits to both approaches.”
Fancy nodded as his mind fired back up to address the task at hoof. “Correct. But as I said after the meeting, it depends upon how much we can trust the crystal ponies to ‘mingle’ unaided. My primary concern was with the authenticity of their interactions when meeting other Equestrians. I said my recommendation will come down to trusting our guests’ ability to communicate themselves unaided.”
“You must be referring to the culture shock you experienced during your first visit to Yakyakistan,” Celestia remarked sagely.
“Yes, in a manner of speaking. A tour will pressure the Equestrians to put on a show for the group rather than have real conversations, but at the same time I worry about a hooves-off approach leading to… problems.”
Celestia giggled into her hoof. “Not to disparage our Yakyakistani friends, but the crystal pony traditions are less forceful than theirs. I wouldn’t be too concerned with our guests requesting a head-butting contest out of the blue to break the ice.”
“While I agree on that point, it’s not the crystal ponies that have raised my concern,” Fancy admitted as he flipped through several pages of sponsors and hosts. “It’s more the issue of a lone delegate slipping into a brain fog that worries me. Did you confirm whether or not they were still suffering from it?” he asked Luna.
“Our niece reported it is declining in frequency in her most recent missive.”
“That is just the cases reported though,” Fancy added. “A pony would have to realize they or somepony else was afflicted in order to track it.”
Luna put a pensive hoof to her chin. “True. I hadn’t considered that.”
Fancy turned to Celestia. “Do Equestria and the Crystal Empire still wish to keep this a secret, your highness?”
Celestia nodded once more. “At least the true nature of their affliction. What little has leaked out we’ve publicly blamed on long-term teleportation sickness rather than subjugation spells. Remember, we want to present the Crystal Empire as equals to Equestria, not a diminished city of displaced survivors.”
After a few silent questions to himself, Fancy’s cutie mark burned to confirm his intuition. “Then, I would recommend we keep a tighter leash, as it were, on our guests. While the arrangement is less than ideal for freedom of movement, it’d be best to be able to keep an eye on the crystal ponies by having them stay close to Princess Cadance.”
“What if we were to organize them in smaller groups?” Luna offered.
“Honestly, that would be better, but there would need to be enough ponies to watch over them and recognize the symptoms. The point is to keep it a secret, not risk further leaks.“
At that, the younger princess’ eyes widened with a spark of inspiration. “Higher ranking members of the guard have already been briefed on the situation to some extent. We could have a select number of them serve as escorts for smaller groups of delegates and simply have them watch for the signs.”
The new information spread a smile across Fancy’s face. “A wonderful idea, Luna. If they have foreign experience, they may even be able to serve as personal liaisons without needing much training. I could also advise them myself before the Summit. However, they will need to be comfortable being unarmed and unarmored while on-duty.”
“What?” Luna stepped away, completely taken aback by the idea. “But why? Would we not wish to show we value their protection?”
“International optics,” he answered succinctly. “This being an event of geopolitical importance, other nations will be watching closely. While we would see it as a show of communal support, others might infer Imperial frailty. ‘The shattered crystals cannot protect themselves, so they need Equestria to do so’ or something along those lines.”
Fancy flipped over to the guest lists of international representatives and scanned the list of expected attendees from other nations to observe the treaty. “The griffons especially would especially question the Empire’s strength. Every griffon in their government has undergone military training and been granted the privileges of a high-ranking officer. Their guards are not there for protection. It’s more about presenting strength in numbers.”
“I see their adherence to the Warbird Philosophers’ quills haven't dulled over the centuries,” Luna remarked knowingly.
“‘Primal instinct calls each of us to violence as our first act. We breach our own shells to take the first gasp of the free air, to take upon the violence of life, and to fend off beak, talon, and blades of iron, until we ourselves are breached, and thus, take our dying breath.’”
“I don’t recognize that proverb.”
“The Reflections by Jade Pinion. His style can be a bit… indulgently loquacious, but I found it invaluable for understanding modern Griffon culture.”
A canter of hooves interrupted the two’s conversation as Princess Celestia clapped on the floor in excitement. “Outstanding!” Celestia cheered with glee. “I am so glad I asked you two to manage this. If it’s decided, I will have Raven draw up a list of potential candidates for escorts for you to look at later.”
“Thank you, sister. That would be most helpful.”
Celestia sighed and smiled with genuine affection, looking between Luna and Fancy Pants. “It simply warms my heart seeing the both of you working so well together. It is surely a load off my mind.”
“And I’m glad to do it,” Fancy agreed. “Honestly, it feels good to be working for the good of the nation again, if just for a little while.”
“You have no idea how happy that makes me, my most capable envoy.” With that, Celestia whisked away her clipboard with her magic and smiled upon two of her favorite ponies in the world. “I will leave the rest to you. Please let me know if there is anything else you need from me, though I doubt you will.”
Princess Celestia began to walk away with a joyous clip in her clops as she practically bounced out of the room. Luna balked, looking between her unfinished list and Fancy Pants before teleporting in front of her sister.
“Wait a moment! We still haven’t shown you—”
“I have seen enough to know I’ve left you in capable hooves, Lulu,” Celestia assured softly. “Besides, I don’t think you need me here getting between the two of you and your work,” she said with a wink towards Fancy.
Luna looked around, searching for something to stop Celestia from leaving. “But what about the budget?”
“Don’t worry about something little like that. If you require any resources from me, simply submit it in writing and I’ll sign off on them as quickly as possible. Beyond that, I don’t think you’ll need me outside of the treaty negotiations and a dress fitting.”
“But—”
Celestia poked her sister on the nose, silencing Luna with the sudden and strange contact. “No buts. You’re doing great your way. With Fancy Pants by your side, there is never a need to worry. He’s here for whatever you need him to do. You can trust him, okay?”
Luna flittered her gaze to Fancy Pants in concern before sighing. “Very well. We shall strive to do our best.”
“That better not be the royal ‘we’ this time,” Celestia teased. With another light-hearted laugh, she strode out of the ballroom to finish out her afternoon.
As she passed Luna, she didn’t notice her sister’s downcast face as she looked over her notes. The uncertain younger princess stole one last glance at her elder sister, opening her mouth to say something, but ultimately deciding against it. Fancy wasn’t sure if he was missing something or not in Princess Celestia’s way of thinking. Whatever the case, he wasn’t about to let her get away without a good explanation.
“Please wait, your majesty!” Fancy called out as he chased the taller princess down the hallway.
“Yes, Fancy Pants?” she answered while slowing her gait.
“My apologies, your highness, but could you perhaps reconsider your stance and provide feedback for our remaining summit preparations?”
“I’ve already done so. You two are doing a phenomenal job together. I trust you completely with her.”
“Thank you, your highness, but with all due respect, she still has her doubts regarding her actions.”
The princess stopped her steps and turned to regard the stallion in confusion. “As I always have with mine, but doesn’t Luna have you for that? I entrusted you with her care and support her decisions. She needs the confidence to stand equal with me as co-ruler of Equestria.”
“Agreed, your highness, but this is also out of her expertise.”
“Which you have plenty of to share.”
Fancy cleared his throat, feeling the need for his verbal foil. “While I appreciate your high praise, I am still no substitute for a sister, your highness.”
“You are not a substitute for me. There is no need for it,” she replied firmly. “In my eyes, you are what’s best for her now. She should not feel the need to seek my approval for every little thing. You are the Kingmaker, are you not?”
“But she desires your approval,” Fancy said as he carefully advanced.
“And she has it, fully and without question. I want her to stand proudly as she should've for centuries, making her own decisions without such a strong urge for me to hold her hoof.”
“But this isn’t hoof-holding, princess.”
“Then what is it, ambassador?”
“Validation,” Fancy countered. “Assurance that she is on the right track from an equal peer. She may be doing things her way, but surely you can understand that your input, no matter how small, would help build her confidence. She is still learning how to manage modern Equestria as you do.”
Celestia sighed, frustration began seeping through her mask as she pressed her hoof to her forehead. “That’s exactly what I’m trying to avoid. I want her—Equestria needs her—to deal with things differently than I do. She shouldn’t need me when she has you as well as an entire castle of ponies at her beck and call to validate her decisions.”
“I must humbly disagree, Princess Celestia. You’ve said on many occasions that you are meant to rule together.”
“Do not turn words that you do not understand so flippantly against me!” Celestia rebuked. A scowl he’d rarely ever seen crossed her face forcing him on the defensive. “I couldn’t ask her opinion on a single decision by her for a thousand years, and I’ve done hundreds of thousands of things she’d disapprove of for the good of Equestria!” The princess shut her burning eyes and took a deep, sorrowful breath. “From the time of our ascension, we stood together for all of Equestria in the face of apocalyptic chaos, yet when she simply needed her sister, I…”
The princess went silent for a few moments, breathing softly as she regathered herself. She then opened her eyes once more, smiling with the serenity of Elysium. “Please, Fancy Pants. I am doing everything in my power to rectify an ancient mistake. Luna must become strong to stand both with me and against me. If that means I must be the villain for a time, then so be it.”
“But why would she ever need to stand against you?”
“The arc of her history is timeless like mine. She must be prepared for whatever fate faces her, with or without me. In my countless years, I never imagined I would ever be forced to raise a weapon against my own…” Celestia trailed as her eyes widened from what words were starting to dance off her lips. Before she could utter another sound, she slammed a rear hoof down. The immense power boomed in a stomp of ancient arcane might, all the while maintaining perfect poise and dignity. Though the furious clap brought the entire castle to stunned silence, her soft, scorching smile never left her face. “This discussion is over.”
With that, her royal highness resumed her stride with solemnity, leaving Fancy Pants behind in her wake. He’d never been on the receiving end of the princess’ ire. As Equestria’s Royal Ambassador, it used to be his business to know the will of the Solar Princess before she had to say it herself. Now, Fancy couldn’t even begin to guess what was going through Princess Celestia’s mind. He was either too out of practice or he’d gotten far too used to Luna’s openness.
Upon reentering the ballroom, Luna wrapped her hooves and wings around him in a comforting hug. The shiver in her grip made it feel that it was more for her sake than his. “Our apologies, Fancy Pants. We should’ve stopped you before you pursued.”
Fancy snaked a hoof out to return the tight hug with a few friendly pats. “Please, Luna. You did nothing wrong. And to be honest, the absolute last thing I want to hear is one more apology from anypony.”
The princess pulled away and looked at Fancy curiously for a time. Her distress from her sister washed away as it was replaced with the gaze of a sage mentor. “We sense it is not these royal matters that truly troubles you, dear Fancy Pants.”
“As surprising as it is to anger your sister, you’d be correct. But don’t feel the need to ignore your feelings for my sake.”
“Worry not. Your intervention on our behalf has lessened the sting of our sister’s conviction in her machinations. We wish to lend an ear in turn if our wisdom is welcome.”
“While I appreciate the offer, we are in the middle of working on the summit, Luna. Also, please, be still, your highness.”
The princess’ ear flicked at the phrase they’d practiced for the summit and she took a calming moment to recenter herself. “You have my gratitude. But back on the topic, you and I were supposed to be walking my sister through our plans and vendors for the next hour, however, that seems to have ended prematurely. Celestia will still see to it that the guard is informed of our request for their help, so please allow me to help you, my dear friend.”
Fancy sighed and scratched the back of his neck. The memories bubbling in his head almost made him reach for the quartz in his pocket. “It’s about Vinyl.”
Luna swished her tail and brightened at the mention of the mare. “Oh yes, the wonderful DJ Pon-3. Has she been well, my dear fateweaver?”
“Not exactly. There was an accident at the estate yesterday.”
“By the stars!” Luna gasped. She leaned in close, urgently worried about the disposed performer. “Is it serious?”
“The doctor was able to help, but I’m worried about…” Fancy sighed as he tried to think of a way to put it. As he focused, all he could see was that tearful gaze pleading for salvation from her transgressions. “I don’t know how my influence is affecting her.”
“I see. How does she fare now?”
“Better. Her family is at the estate.”
Luna furrowed her brow. “I thought you said her parents had passed.”
“Yes, but this is a different one,” Fancy said as a fractured smile crossed his face. “One that loves her properly.”
“You done yet?” Vinyl complained into her sister’s fur. “You said it’d only take a second.”
“Be patient! You’re supposed to be the older, responsible sister, right?”
“My patience ran out the moment you sat on me and stuck your chest in my face!”
“Lucky you, right?” Fleur giggled. “I’m almost done anyway.”
Vinyl sighed as she tried to blow the mare’s flowing mane away from her nose to no avail. Her sister had been straddling her for at least ten minutes, checking the top of her head where she’d gotten patched up by the doctor. While they were able to stitch her wound up easily enough, for it to heal properly, they had to shave part of her head down the skin. Fleur wasn’t about to let that lopsided fashion statement stand for long, regardless of Vinyl’s feelings on the matter.
“Okay, I think I got it attuned right.”
“Attuned?” Vinyl asked. “You said you were doing something to my mane.”
“I am! You don’t want this stitching job to be visible if you don’t have to, right?”
“Who—” Vinyl started to fire back before the heat died on her lips.
Who cares? You do, Desire answered. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to look good for—
“Whatever,” she grumbled over her stupid, invasive desires. After yesterday, Vinyl was so sick of her thoughts getting in the way. It felt shallow and vain to care, but she still did. Vinyl wanted to turn her head and look away, but Fleur was keeping her locked in place with her magical field.
She heard the door to her room click as the smell of freshly bread filled the air, “Finally found this room again. This house is much too large for so small pon—” Maman’s voice died immediately as she began shouting in high-pitched, stammering Prench.
“Geez! It’s not what it looks like!” Fleur yelled over their likely swearing maman.
“Then off! Off I say!” Éclair demanded as she stormed over to the bed. “Before you are sending the bad messages!”
The little mare ripped her daughter off her other daughter by the tail without losing a single baguette out of the baskets poking out of her saddle bags. The larger unicorn yelped and flailed her hooves fruitlessly as she sailed across the room, landing on the couch Dapper had moved for visitors.
A glint of orange caught Vinyl’s eye. She looked up to see a garnet falling to the bed. Instinctively, she tried to catch it with her magic, only for the little energy she felt gathering at the base of her horn fizzle out at the dampening ring around it. She winced in pain as what little magic bled through rebounded into her head in a dull ache.
“Non-non, Vinyle. Remember what le médecin says. No magic until you are right in the head.”
Luckily, Éclair meant the minor concussion. It just meant a day or two of taking it easy with a dampening ring. Outside of the slight headache and itchiness from the stitches, Vinyl felt fine. However, everypony else was taking the injury so seriously. It was easier just to stay in bed.
“Sorry. Kind of a habit. Not using magic, you know?”
“Oui, ma pauvre et précieuse fleur de vinyle. Your sister was always roughing up the house with her papa in Prance. She wore such rings twice before.”
“Blunt force trauma would explain a few things,” Vinyl teased as she glanced over at her frowning sister.
“Ha ha. Very funny. At least I didn’t lose a fight to a book,” Fleur retorted.
Vinyl shrugged. “Just means you haven’t read anything challenging.”
“Behave now! Vinyle is hurt and needs our support,” Éclair insisted. “Which is why I come with bread in bed!”
The pastry chef smiled widely as she drew a loaf out like a sword and grabbed a food tray off a nearby shelf. Instead of using a knife to cut it, the mare simply pulled the bread apart, having baked it to be soft to the touch instead of the lackluster crispy bricks that other Prench-inspired places had around town. With the loaf torn into uneven slices, Éclair lay out the pieces around in an attempt at artistry.
“If you must know, I forgot a knife,” the petite mare clarified.
Vinyl chuckled as she took the tray by hoof. “It’s fine. Looks good.”
“It is good. I made it for you.”
Vinyl waned as she became lost in Éclair’s—her maman’s—endless smile that she wore just for her. As soon as they’d heard she'd been hurt, her family rushed over as quickly as possible to take care of her. They’d even stayed the night just to make sure she was fine. She didn’t want to worry anypony, but she couldn’t help but savor their warmth. Éclair couldn’t be more different than… her.
Even after all of this time, she still owned Vinyl. The DJ curled her hooves around the sheets as a sinking fear clawed at her. No matter how much she tried to put it out of her mind, she was just one errant thought away. Her presence still reigned supreme. If she came back, she’d say all of those things again. Vinyl didn’t want to hear those things again. She wanted Maman to keep smiling, to be there to stop her from coming back. That shrouded nightmare she refused to call by name.
“Vinyle? Are you well?” Maman asked, sensing the vice wrapping around Vinyl’s neck.
Don’t lie. Desire urged softly. I know you want to lie, but don’t lie.
Vinyl knew that. She didn’t need a voice in her head telling her what she already knew. The fact she was hearing Desire in the first place was starting to scare her.
What? But why? I’m you.
No she wasn’t. Desire was an elaborate hallucination. Just like her.
That’s not right! I want you want! Why won’t you listen? I’m trying to help you!
“She’ll be right as rain in a sec,” Fleur assured as she snatched the garnet from the bed and began fiddling with it and a silver disk.
Vinyl wished that was true. Memories usually rammed themselves into her head and got stuck on repeat even before her world had turned upside-down. There were cringe-inducing experiences that would make her sick with embarrassment, arguments that she wished she’d dealt with better in hindsight, and warped memories of her past that plagued her every-so-often. It was an endless can of earworms she’d have to blast away with blaring music, physical pain, or anything to distract her. But Desire was something entirely different. Even if she chewed her cheek until she tasted iron, that stupid voice wouldn’t leave her alone.
No. Please. I’m—I’m sorry… Desire mumbled as her voice shied away. I just want you to be happy.
And now she’d entertained her childish whims to the point her worst nightmare had come to life. She was slowly going crazy because she wasn’t strong enough to stand against her. Maybe she’d keep dreaming up more and more voices until she was a babbling madmare caught between fantasy and reality. Vinyl was broken. At least now she had the stitches to prove it.
“And there!” Fleur announced, snapping Vinyl out of her dreary thoughts. “Whipped up a little clip on earring for you and just needed this lil guy to make it work.”
Fleur trotted over to the wounded side of Vinyl’s head and clacked the custom jewelry on her sister. Other than flicking her ear from the added weight, Vinyl didn’t feel anything. She couldn’t even tell if the gem was working properly, or if the dampening ring was affecting it.
“Alright, that looks great!” Fleur announced.
Vinyl blinked. “It does?”
“Yeah, check it out.”
Fleur levitated a compact mirror over and popped it open to show Vinyl her work. As promised, the stitches were gone, replaced by thin streaks of blue shaven mane with highlights. The illusionary hair followed the same curved path of her stitches, but flowing all the way to the back of her head in a wave.
“I guess it’s better. Now I just look like a shaved sheep on one side.”
“That’s where part two of the manestyle comes in: The part!”
Vinyl sighed to herself. “Sis. I don’t do manestyles. I just wake up and go with whatever’s happening up there.”
“Perpetual bedhead, I know. But don’t worry, this one is super simple. You don’t even need to use magic! We’re just gonna comb the whole thing over to the right. My right.”
Fleur picked up a long-toothed comb by hoof and ran it through Vinyl’s hair, untangling, straightening, and then ultimately curling it all to one side to let it drape down in one massive part. Fleur quickly inspected her work before nodding with a smile and hovering the compact back for the grand reveal.
Vinyl’s eyes widened upon seeing herself. The look was certainly different, or at least a different flavor of different compared to her usual, disheveled self. She recognized the half-saved stylings of the neo-drakepunk look. The simple part flowed like a curled dragon spine while showing off the edgy drake frills curving around the back. She’d seen it worn by punk rockers she occasionally bumped into on the Drive. It was cuttingly sharp, violently brash, and unforgivingly loud.
“You’re a lifesaver, sis,” Vinyl said as she admired her salvaged, savage mane.
“It looks great, right?” Fleur bragged as she polished her hoof on her chest. “I used the same illusionary coat coloring enchantment for my dual princess costume. Usually punks do it with good old-fashioned fur dye, but SchlurrVivyl’s got the rocking power of crystals on our side!”
Chuckling at the pun, Vinyl brushed her hair and inspected herself from every angle to appreciate Fleur’s miracle work. “I feel like I need to get like fifty different piercings and a vat of eye shadow.”
“So avant-garde, Vinyle!” Éclair praised as she clapped her hooves together. “Daring and mystérieux. C’est magnifique, Fleur!”
Fleur flourished her mane and strutted to Vinyl’s side like a superstar model. “Merci Maman. I think she’ll be ready to take on the world again.” She flipped Vinyl’s mane with her hoof and smirked. “At least once her brain isn’t scrambled eggs anymore.”
Vinyl’s smile flattened as she glared at her sister. “Thanks, Fleur. You always know how to tie a bow on things.”
“I’m just the gift that keeps on giving.”
“Good, good, good,” Éclair said as she shooed Fleur away. “Now that makeover is done, you must eat. The bread is cooling too much.”
Fleur rolled her eyes as she wrapped a piece in her bright pink aura. “Really? It’s like you forget I have magic, Maman.”
“Do not toasting!” the baker exclaimed, quickly snatching it out of her daughter’s spell “I made it special soft for Vinyle’s easy chewing.”
“Okay! Fine! Yeesh, you don’t need to be so protective.”
“Yes I do! She is hurt. We came for helping her.”
“Yeah, but it’s not like I’m trying to make it worse.”
Why are you making me the bad mare here? I just want what’s best—
“Stop fighting!” Vinyl screamed over the intrusive memory. Her voice cracked from the pressure, betraying her underlying fears. Both ponies turned to her with shock and worry scrawled on their faces. Vinyl cursed herself under her breath for yelling over them and looked away.
The Prenchmares shared a concerned glance between them before turning their complete attention to the bedridden mare. Their silent conversation just made Vinyl feel worse about cutting in. She wasn’t even sure why it was so upsetting to her now. They’d argued plenty of times in front of her, and it was even fun to watch their playful bickering despite not understanding a word of it. But now…
Vinyl steadied her breath, trying to work up the courage to face them again. “Sorry, I umm… even if you’re just playing, please, just don’t, okay?”
Éclair reared herself up against the bed to meet Vinyl’s eyes. “Non, Vinyle, it is we who is sorry. Right, Fleur?”
Fleur rubbed her shoulder, not being able to meet Vinyl in the eyes. “Yeah. You already have a sore head. You don’t need our yelling making it worse. Don’t apologize for that.”
“Thanks,” Vinyl muttered.
Turning her attention back to the tray of rapidly cooling bread, she grabbed the closest piece to her with her hoof and took a bite. Even if the warmth had left it, the care Maman had baked into it was still oven fresh. The soft, buttery goodness washed over her tongue, sending her to a place of gentle bliss.
“Is it okay?” Éclair asked.
Vinyl hummed positively and nodded in approval.
“I brought more if you still want more.”
She kept nodding while focusing on the sweet bread in her hooves.
After another moment of silence, Fleur leaned over to catch her sister’s focus. “You feeling alright, Vy?”
Vinyl didn’t know the answer to that. She just wanted to live in the peace of the moment. To chew on the soft baguette in peace for eternity without another word from the intrusive thoughts from any voices in her head. No fears. No desires. Just the quiet safety of delicious bread.
“Please. Talk to us, Vinyle,” Éclair said as she tried to reach out and touch Vinyl.
C’mon, Desire urged. You know you want to. It’ll help you feel better.
“We just want to help, sis,” Fleur added.
Really, dear, Mother sighed and clicked her tongue. Why do you have to be so sensitive about everything?
Desire hammered in Vinyl’s heart. Listen to them! Talking will make her go away!
Oh, really now. ‘Vinyl Scratch’ you say? One of her last memories of mother countered.
“Everypony just shut up! I can’t think!”
That’s because you’re always overthinking things! Desire yelled. Or was that mother? Vinyl couldn’t tell anymore You need to focus! Why are you like this?
“Stop it!” Vinyl screamed.
“Vy!”
“Vinyle!”
And now you’re worrying everypony again. Why do you need to complicate everything so much? Just be happy! “Why can’t I just be normal?”
A jerk on Vinyl’s shoulders pulled her from the encroaching static. All she saw was pink. As she calmed down, she could feel the hooves holding onto her through the noise. She then recognized the various tints and stray streaks of gray as the manes of her family. She could feel the weight of their bodies pressing against hers on the bed, squeezing her in tight hugs to bring her back to Equestria.
Vinyl leaned in, trying to warm herself again. “I’m sor—”
“Stop it, please!” Fleur hushed as she gripped Vinyl even tighter. “Stop keeping things to yourself! You promised! You promised!” Fleur shook her head into Vinyl’s fur. She could feel the dampness from her sister’s tears. She’d made her cry again.
“Fleur de Lis. Calm down,” their maman cooed as she pulled Fleur back. “This helps nopony.”
“B-but she said she’d tell me. She’d tell me if it got hard, Maman.” Fleur took Vinyl by the hoof and placed it on her heart. Fleur’s sorrowful gaze pierced through her heart, turning the tender flame into a painful blaze. “Please. I want to help. Just tell us what’s going on. We’re your family. We love you.”
Don’t forget—
Vinyl flinched as her ears pin back trying to silence the rest of the world. “Please. Not that word.”
“But we do!” Fleur argued and squeezed Vinyl’s hoof. She grabbed a nearby pillow and wiped her face to take a moment to collect herself. “I can—I can talk all around it. I’ll throw every word in the thesaurus at your head, but it doesn’t change how I feel. Please. We’re right here, Vy.”
Vinyl pulled her legs back and shrank into herself. “I don’t know. I just wish things would stop happening.” She leaned down and buried her face in the bed’s comforter. “I don’t want to feel this way. I don’t want to feel any way anymore.”
“What do you mean?” Fleur asked in rising concern. “I promise. You can tell me anything.”
“I…” Vinyl swallowed, trying to force herself to follow her heart, even if it was mired in delusions. “I’m scared, sis. I think I like Fancy Pants and I’m—I’m scared.”
Fleur’s tenderness was replaced by tender confusion. “So, why would you be scared of that? I’d be totally on board for you two to be friends.”
“No. I mean, I think I like him.”
“Yeah, I heard you the firs—” Fleur’s voice grinded to halt as Vinyl’s ears grew hotter and hotter in embarrassment. With the secret spilled, the sheepish mare snuck a peek over the sheets, revealing her flush face.
Fleur gasped and covered her cheeks as a gigantic smile split her face. “Ohmigosh! You have a crush on—Mmpf!” Her bold declaration was interrupted by Éclair shoving a baguette into her mouth.
“Tais-toi, stupide fille! She shares her heart and you tear it out with careless words!”
Fleur argued back with a slew of muffled complaints and over-the-top hoof gestures.
“Do not speak with your mouth full.”
Fleur rolled her eyes and bit down, splitting the bread into two pieces as she chewed the middle. “You’re the one that put it there in the first place, Maman,” she noted through smacks of bread in her mouth.
“Fleur! I did not teach you such manners!”
“I know,” Fleur agreed as she smacked her lips loudly in dramatic satisfaction. “That’s why I don’t have them.”
Éclair sank her head into her hooves and began muttering curses in Prench to herself, or at least that’s what Vinyl guessed from the cheeky grin on Fleur’s face. The larger mare rubbed against her little maman, depositing a few crumbs in her hair, before diving at Vinyl in a deep embrace.
“This is great!” she squealed in delight. “I’m so happy for you, Vy!”
Vinyl’s fell limp. “What? But weren’t you grossed out?”
Fleur hummed curiously as she pulled back. “When did I say that?”
“After the Festival of Flakes. When you said how old Fancy was.”
“Well, yeah. Duh. I don’t want ponies thinking that I’m dating my brother.” Fleur wretched from the mere notion and shook her head. “I just use the age thing as an excuse. Besides, Daddy and Maman were way, way, way further apart.”
“Non non, Fleur! We were twenty years difference, so that means,” Éclair stopped as she puzzled over the math and muttered under her breath. “Only five years difference!”
“Between their fifteen and your twenty, yeah. Fifteen is a huge age gap.”
Éclair crossed her forelegs in a huff. “I don’t think it is so.”
“Seriously? You and Daddy had, like, an age rift! It’d take a pegasus chariot just to cross it.”
“As you say, I favor le renard argenté.” Éclair batted the criticism away with a flick of her fetlock.
“The what?” Vinyl asked.
“Silver foxes,” Fleur clarified flatly. “She likes them old.”
“Bah! You say it so simple, Fleur. The young pony is so silly and knows nothing!” Éclair argued adamantly, slamming the bed with her leg to punctuate her point.
“Okay, yeah. She enjoys stallions like fine, aged cheese.”
“Wine! Vin! I want a charming stallion who knows how to treat a mare and how to entreat a mare, if you catch my meaning,” Éclair said with a wink and waggle of her eyebrows. The mare sighed wistfully as she took her mane in hoof and inspected its pink with stray grays running through it. “But now I am on top of the hill with silver too. So… ten ans suffisent.”
Vinyl froze as her mind struggled to catch up to the conversation she was apparently having. “I think this is more than I ever wanted to know about Maman.”
“Eh? Why?” the older mare asked, almost taking offense to the question itself. “We all have our tastes. Fleur savors les fleurs and you look to savor silver too, ma fille.”
“N-no! I don’t like—I don’t know what I like, but I don’t—” Vinyl quickly descended into a sputtering mess of denial, struggling to remember what language even was anymore.
Éclair guffawed as she fell back, laying a hoof on her petitely plump belly. “I joke! I am the fools day jester!” After a few more laughs, she pulled herself back up and tenderly touched Vinyl’s cheek. “Je n'étais pas sérieux, ma précieuse Vinyle. I saw how happy Fancy makes you. Generosity. Kindness. As I said, you value him, not these many bits of his.”
“Hold up, Maman,” Fleur cut in between the two. “You make it sound like you already knew about this.”
Éclair chuckled with pompous delight as she flipped her mane and stuck her nose up. “As I say. The young pony knows nothing,” she gloated, running her hoof through her graying mane in a Fleur-ish flourish. “Vinyle did not need to tell moi to know her heart when she so fancies Fancy.”
Fleur bristled at the accusation, her cheeks turning red with embarrassed anger, knowing that Éclair had called it correctly.
“Aww,” Éclair cooed as she pinched her big daughter’s puffy cheeks. “It’s okay ma innocente Fleur. This is why young ponies need Maman. Éclair de Lune tells you all about le chocolat, le pain, et la délicieuse crème which makes the sweetest mess together, oui?”
Fleur blanched and shooed Maman’s hooves from her face before shaking the grossness out of her fetlocks. “I don’t need ‘the talk’ again right now.” She turned to Vinyl. “I figured something was up when you visited the shop with Fancy, but I’d never guessed this in a zillion years. You’ve always hated rich ponies.”
Vinyl sighed to herself as the brief joyful moment was smothered again. “Yeah, I know. And, I’m really scared.”
“Why?” Éclair asked in disbelief, completely flummoxed by the idea. “You made a good paire! Before the tears, you were so happy! I was so happy too. A good day!”
“But I don’t want to be rich. I… I don’t want to call the dragon, Maman.”
“The dragon? Non, non. Don’t be silly, Vinyle. I tell you again: you are nothing like Riche Antiquité.”
“Yeah, and Rich Antiquity is just an old mare’s tale anyway,” Fleur dismissed as she pulled Vinyl into a side hug. “Unlike that lard bucket, you have us to keep you grounded if you start demanding cakes every day. De Lune gets enough business anyway.”
Vinyl nestled into the nape of her sister’s neck, careful not to agitate the stitches on her head. Her vision fell upon the low stacks of boxes and notebooks sitting nearly in the corner of the room. “I know, but… I can’t help it. That’s why all of that’s over there.”
Fleur tilted her head slightly, but not enough to break any contact from Vinyl. “The boxes of books? Were you wanting to go round two on them or something?”
“No. Those are all Summers. Diaries, sheet music, and keepsakes. Very heavy keepsakes,” she added as she rubbed the back of her head.
“So? What are they for?”
“Answers. Summers married Suede. I need to know if it changed her. If she became a monster.”
“What, and we can’t?”
“Fleur de Lis!” Maman reprimanded.
“I’m serious here. Shouldn’t we be enough?”
“Ce n'est pas la question, ma fille! We know who Vinyle is, but Vinyle wishes to know who she is. We support her, no?” After snorting derisively at Fleur, Éclair brushed her anger aside to gently place her hoof onto Vinyl’s. She then smiled with her endless, buttery warmth. “We are famille.”
Fleur grumbled in rising irritation to herself before ultimately sighing and squeezing Vinyl back under her neck. “I’m sorry, sis. If anypony is becoming a greedy dragon, it’s me. I just don’t want to see you hurt or crying or anything bad anymore. I want all smiles, all the time from you. If it takes a little encouragement from Auntie, then let’s do it.”
Fleur quickly swept up the spilled pieces of bread, crumbs, and flakes of crust in her magic and whisked them all into the fireplace along with several logs. After sparking it to life, she then hovered over a few random journals off the top of the various stacks and fanned them out over the bed. Finally, she fished the last baguette out of the bag and sliced them into thin slices and laid them across the food tray for them to munch on.
“Really?” Vinyl tilted her head up to catch Fleur’s eyes. “But, I thought you weren’t going to help archive.”
“I’m not, but this is totally different. I always wanted to know more about Auntie.” Fleur scooched away from Vinyl and laid down in front of the books with a wide grin. “Plus, if all goes right, you can be my sister and sister-in-law! How awesome is that?”
Vinyl grimaced. “Out-of-context? Not very.”
Fleur rolled her eyes. “You know what I mean. At least until you get your magic back, I’m sticking right by you unless you need me gone, alright?” Fleur looked back at Éclair. “If that's okay with you, Maman.”
“That is for our Vinyle to say. But yes, we will be right here for you.”
Vinyl’s heart skipped a beat with excitement. “You too?”
“You say as if I can’t take vacation. Pâte de Lune can wait until this… Sommet Politique de Cristal or what it is that Fancy and Princess Luna do needs baking. I will help my fleurs if I can do.” With a resolute nod, she hopped off the bed and placed her saddlebags back on. “I will tell Monsieur Dandy of our stay and make hot chocolat for reading by the fire.”
“Thank you, Maman.”
“Anything for mes précieuses fleurs.”
The fireplace slowly crackled and popped in the privacy of Princess Luna’s room. Luna had stopped Fancy’s story before he started to keep the nature of their sensitive conversation away from curious ears. With the rumors about the royal suitor still bouncing around the unknown servants and guards, neither of them wanted to risk complicating the matters further by layering Vinyl Scratch on top of it.
Fancy had started from the troubles after the Performers Showcase to catch her up. She listened to his recounting carefully, only offering a slight nod and asking for little clarifications and definitions for phrases she was unfamiliar with. Despite the thick, blackout curtains keeping the room in perpetual evening, Fancy could tell it was getting late when her scheduled cup of evening coffee from Athena teleported in. Luna had woken midafternoon to give the canceled tour to her sister, so the evening’s scheduled cup from Athena was a welcome pick-me-up for the princess. She looked like she needed it after hearing about the struggles of the troubled artist.
“So, this morning. I checked on her and she seemed to be doing better, at least on the surface. She still has a silencing ring keeping her from spellcasting until any lingering effects of the concussion wears off. Hopefully, she’ll have recovered completely from that in the next few days. The wound itself will take longer though.”
“Did she say how she managed to hurt herself with the boxes?”
Fancy shook his head. “She almost seemed afraid to tell me anything at the time, and I left before she awoke this morning.” He fiddled with his hooves knowing he was treading into Luna’s territory. “I know you can’t tell me exactly, but do you at least know if she slept well last night?”
Luna shook her head in kind. “I’m afraid I don’t know. Truthfully, I am unaware if she dreamed at all. I do not sense every pony in the Dreamscape unless I sense a nightmare or search for them. Given what occurred, she likely entered a dreamless sleep from her injury.”
It wasn’t much, but Fancy took solace in knowing she had a few hours of peace. “Hopefully it is just my nerves then.”
“I will endeavor to seek her out this evening, but remember, I am unwelcome in her mind. I can only influence her sleep from afar.”
Fancy perked up in concern. “Still? Not even disguised as another pony?”
“Again, any foreign presence is unwelcome in her guarded subconscious. Given what you’ve shared with me, I have a better understanding of why it is so, but to divulge any further would break the sanctity of her privacy,” Luna stated evenly. She breathed deeply through her nostrils and looked away as a sad smile marred her face. “However, after telling me all that you’ve observed in the waking world, you don’t need her dreams to confirm what you know to be real.”
Fancy lowered his head and shut his eyes. He knew the answer to that without even having to think about it. The terror that burned in that unsteady gaze, the sheer panic in her strained breaths, the tears streaming down from her unblinking face…
“It all stems from that one, blasted question,” Fancy spat.
Luna closed her eyes. “A foalhood of uncertainty, trying to earn three little words we all take for granted. So pitiable. That child clearly anguishes over her worthiness among a host of other ideals forced upon her. Her past is so darkened by sorrow that it is even hidden from my eyes when I watch over her slumber. You will not wish to hear this, but you likely know more than I do.”
“But what good is knowing anything if I can’t help her? I barely have a grasp of this fate weaving nonsense as it is!” Fancy felt his magic latch onto the quartz in his pocket as he tried to keep control of his rising emotions. “Anytime I feel as though I am doing a modicum of good for her, showing her how wonderful she is, how lucky anypony is to be around her, I am eventually blindsided when it all comes crashing down without fail.”
“Curious. Perhaps your fate has become too entwined with hers to see clearly?”
Fancy couldn’t help but laugh at himself as he pressed his hoof against his agitated horn. “Wonderful. Simply incredible. I can’t believe she sees herself as the one that is making a mess of things when I’m the one who is powerless to do anything! Perhaps I should hire an army of specialists? I bet that would work out perfectly.
“I can see it now. ‘Here, Miss Scratch. I’ve noticed you have a bit of a problem with your self-esteem. So, I’ve found the best of the best in mental health and taken the liberty of turning my home into your own personal psychiatric ward.’ That would no doubt boost her confidence, subjecting her to therapy and counseling she didn’t consent to. I have nothing else but to keep throwing bits on the pyre at the problem until I’ve paid enough for it to go away or drug her up so much that she feels nothing but catatonic joy!”
Luna began to lean her horn towards him as she readied to pulse a smoothing light into him again. “You are already doing your best, dear Fancy Pants. Please, calm yourself and—”
“I don’t want to calm down, Luna! I am done with being calm!” Fancy shouted with finality. The stallion rose from his cushion and walked away. His head was throbbing from the sheer amount of magic wrapping around the quartz in his pocket.
“Fancy Pants! I know you are frustrated, but there is no reason to subject yourself to this unproductive ire. You should feel no shame in trying to help when you obviously care for her well-being.”
“And it’s not good enough!” Fancy roared. “I cannot help her no matter what I do!”
“We said, be still!” Luna demanded. Her booming voice crackled with ancient fury, stealing the thunder from the fuming stallion with one simple command and sending him to his knees.
Her steely edge dulled as she knelt down next to him and began to channel her magic. “We apologize for our sharp tongue, but you mustn’t torture yourself with this perceived failure. Please, you’ve served as an ambassador in the past. You know the importance of level-headedness. There is a time for righteous anger, but only after you’ve thought it through.”
“You’ve never seen her when she is just happy. I’ve barely glimpsed it, but when it’s there, she glows.” Fancy took a shuddering breath as he tried to absorb the quieting clarity of Luna’s soothing spellwork swaddling his mind. “She glows, Luna. A smile so brilliant, it gleams like a shooting star. Wondrously beautiful, but so terribly fleeting.”
Luna nodded. “She is lucky to be surrounded by ponies who care so much about her. We must admit to being more than a little envious of such high praise.”
“I’d give anything just to see it lighting the stage with its magic. Vinyl should be able to share the breadth of what she is capable of to all the world. But it always burns up before she is seen. It’s an injustice that it’s wasted on me alone.”
“Neigh, my dear Fancy Pants. It may be that such happiness is brought about by you. You bear a light that brightens our—my night anytime I am blessed to see you.”
“Thank you, Luna. I’m always happy to see you too.”
“It is not so simple, Fancy Pants. It is one thing to be happy in the presence of others, but bearing a sense of belonging is something entirely different. There is almost a perverse pleasure knowing that others feel an unshakable wrongness in one’s absence. Take it from me,” Luna said as she looked towards a picture of her and Princess Celestia. “No home feels better than one that deeply misses you when you’re gone.”
“‘When you’re gone.’” Fancy looked down at his hooves as he pondered the thought. He’d felt the sharp sting of loss from his mother, the palpable emptiness of the estate without her. He couldn’t help but wonder how anypony would feel when he was gone.
The princesses would surely miss him, but they were no strangers to loss over their countless years. Dapper would as well, though Dapper leaving before him was far more likely. Hopefully that day was far away from him as the butler pushed into his late sixties. Éclair and Fleur would miss him as well, but he was already out of their lives so much already. As far as his other friends, at least the real ones that missed him and not his money and influence, they’d miss him too. Athena, Steeplechase, Octavia, maybe even Vinyl Scratch would, at the very least.
But would anypony feel wrong without him there? That sense of something was really missing from their lives? The sadness from his mother’s absence, even Suede despite everything. But as for him leaving a gap in others’ homes, he didn’t know.
Fancy snickered to himself. It was funny in a bitterly ironic way. He was lavishly wealthy, yet utterly homeless.
“Fancy Pants? This spell doesn’t work if you fight it.”
“Oh! Sorry. Just lost in thought for a moment again.”
Luna frowned in concern. “Do you wish to talk about what is troubling you?”
“Oh, don’t worry. It’s nothing to worry about,” Fancy said as his troubled mind let the coolness of her magic wash over his senses, helping him forget his worries, if only for a moment. “Nothing at all.”
If you find a simple mistake in the GSP (Grammar, Spelling, or Punctuation), please let me know through a private message rather than leaving it in the comment section. Leave the discussions to discussions. Thank you for reading.
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What a wonderfully hilarious image.
You go, maman.
Awesome work as always! Ooof, I am really starting to worry for Fancy. I am starting to hear ticking sounds every new chapter and I am both concerned and aroused....?...
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That comedy tag comes up every-so-often between the drama. Glad you enjoyed a little slapstick with a breadstick.
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Good! It's important to me that everyone has a story in here. Without conflict, he'd just be a boring rich dude.
Exactly! I'm so glad you... wait, wut?
Such a good chapter!
also loved it when Fleur had the breadstick shoved in her face lol
Éclair is the MVP this chapter.
Also a nice touch when the identifiers switched from "Éclair" to "Maman."
The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb.
See, this is why Éclair is best character.
Les fleurs.
Ouch, if Fancy doesn't find a way to vent some of his building stress soon he appears to be headed for a breakdown of his own.
Fancy….. oh dear you are being utterly oblivious aren’t you.
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Everyone loves maman this chapter.
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Things sure are going great and bad at the same time!
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See? Answered it!
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Because she has obtained the coveted title of Best Horse.
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That you did :D Am enjoying why Fancy is oblivious thought, it's not forced.
But oh dear they really need to actually talk, Vinyl and Fancy that is.
Grats, I now desperately desire to know the whole of this Griffonia's history and culture. Took what, two paragraphs?
Well, that's not terrifying in the slightest. Nor could this situation ever possibly come back to bite them, as Celestia clearly isn't too close to her sister and can certainly make reasonable decisions that both support their future and don't neglect Luna's feelings.
XD
Ah, thank you for the wonderous imagery, Rego. There's a lot of that this chapter, actually, but I particularly enjoy this one.
Neo-drakepunk implies drakepunk. Punk is fairly obvious, but drake? Based off dragon music? Inspired by dragons? Made by a dragon that decided it liked ponies and their music? Sounds like gargling rocks? So many options, so little information.
*nods sagely* The mom always knows.
Poor Fancy. The stallion who has everything and nothing. Éclair can't even use the power of being a good mom to bash some sense into him due to the other whole situation. I said it before, but you're maintaining a fascinating inverse relationship between Vinyl and Fancy. Where one is doing ok or on the mend, the other isn't.
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Be not afraid!
I'm assuming it's associate with music, but the style is an offshoot of just wanting to emulate toughness of dragons. Mohawks and sharp manes styled like spines and scales. Literally and figurately edgy.