Chapter 112: Condemned
The two Thestrals parted after a few moments, Astral not saying anything for a bit. The gentle smile on his face made Sassi’s heart flutter. For a brief moment, the stallion didn’t look like he was hurting, just enjoying her company.
I promise to give you so many more of those moments.
“Let me check the doors behind us before we go on. Rather not be surprised if we slow down,” Sassi remarked, Astral nodding.
“I’ll keep watch here.”
As Sassi navigated back to the massive door, the RASP suit began to pull up multiple, short-range communication broadcasts.
Even through the interference caused by the security door, the sounds were unmistakable.
Gunshots. Screaming. Explosions.
‘Warning. Electrical anomaly detected.’
“The creature that was hunting us in the suburb?” Sassi asked.
‘Negative. Electrical signature matches informal designation of ‘Number Two’.
Warning. Prison reactor complex shows fluctuating readings. Anticipated detonation: t-minus approximately twenty minutes.
Warning: Primary users are inside main blast radius. Evacuate to the adjacent silo.’
Sassi’s blood chilled to ice, the mare backing up. She punched the door controls, making sure it was sealed before bolting back to Astral.
“Sas?”
“We need to go, now!”
He immediately followed her, the two of them dashing to the next security checkpoint. The smaller door cycled them through, Sassi taking a moment to calm her nerves.
“Number Two just breached the prison. I heard screams over the radio. Gunshots,” she explained. “It’s following us, and fast. That prison just gave it hundreds of fresh bodies to work with. It must have come through the reactor room because it’s going critical. We’ve got less than twenty minutes to get into the Silo.”
The stallion’s limbs began to shake, his hoof quivering as Sassi held it tight.
“We’ll make it.”
Her reassurance seemed to help slightly. The moment was instantly shattered as the security door opened, a dozen bloodied faces abruptly charging the two Thestarls.
The shotgun and miniguns tore the pony Zeeps into fleshy powder. The two Thestrals stood still, scanning the area.
“Clear,” Astral muttered.
A chittering shriek made the two Thestrals swing their weapons around the room. There wasn’t anything on the motion tracker, but something tore past them. Whatever it was, it moved behind the walls and vanished into the area ahead of them.
“Ok, what was that?”
Sassi snorted at Astral’s question.
“AI?”
‘Unknown. Entity was able to jam motion detection equipment. Unknown signature.’
“Great, another friend,” Sassi muttered. “Let’s be careful. Move quickly, but just watch out.”
Astral nodded, checking their ammunition levels as the reactor countdown ticked off in their HUD.
“So, a new creep, and Zeeps? How did they get past the doors?” he asked, Sassi stuffing metal scrap into the miniguns for ammunition conversion. She then gestured to a large, open-air vent.
“From there. I guess the new creature moved in the ducting. While the grating held for that room, it must have failed elsewhere. These are convicts,” she explained, the corpses wearing signature prisoner clothing. “Infected and then driven to explore wherever they can. Not sure what they ate. Maybe I don’t want to know.”
“Agreed.”
The next security door let them through without incident. The ongoing map displayed in the HUD barely expanded beyond the line of sight.
“How is the shielding still up in the Silo? I assume that’s why the suit can’t map things?” Astral asked, Sassi huffing in annoyance.
“I have no idea. There must be an older reactor, an ancient failsafe powering it all. If we can get a clear shot to the surface, we should be able to signal for help. The shielding is only powerful because we’re so deep underground. Once the prison reactor detonates, we might be able to get a signal out. But we’re pretty far underground.”
“I hope there’s a big elevator waiting for us at the end.”
“Ditto.”
They continued to trot along, the signs for the older silo growing more and more decayed with rust.
“So, a few of these ramshackle tunnels, and we hit the condemned part?” Astral asked, his marefriend nodding in affirmation.
“Yep. The Silo wasn’t maintained much past the prisoner block. So, things will be run-down and dangerous. We’re in the weird in-between area now. One more massive door to the old silo, and we’re in. We should be ok now to be safe from the detonation, but I’d feel better with the actual Silo door closed behind us. But beyond that, we get through whatever weirdness the next Silo has to offer, and we’re home free with that exit tunnel. That part should have some newer equipment, but I’m not sure how new. Flask had mentioned they repurposed RASP suits for this area, so who knows?” the mare mused.
Astral’s heart lifted at seeing Sassi smile from behind the visor. They were so close. Mutants, prisoners, homicide AI…they could handle whatever this next Silo threw at them.
Besides. They had already survived two reactor meltdowns.
The tiled hallway angled to the right ahead of them, massive air ducts about halfway down the degrading tile. If not for the filters, the air would likely be foul and musty.
Something made Astral’s fur prickle as they neared the vent, the Thestral pausing. Was that movement?
“Astral, what-”
The metal vent shattered; the brittle metal being torn aside. A dark appendage punched out, sending Sassi slamming against the opposite wall and shattering the tile as sparks sprayed from the power armor.
Astral’s display lit up with warning lights, Sassi’s suit now highlighted in red.
“Warning. Complete failure of RASP locomotive systems detected. Attempting to repair. Vital readings fluctuating.”
“SASSI!?” Astral cried, but there was no answer.
The familiar foe slunk out of the vent; red eyes focused on Astral. Pointed teeth widened in a smile. As it laughed, the Thestral was yanked back to the room. Soggy carpet and fluorescent lights. The unending hum and screams of his loved ones as they dissolved into gory puddles.
The fear.
The terror.
Helpless.
He couldn’t move. Even as the creature crept forwards, jagged claws extended toward him.
What can I do but run?
The mutant slashed at him, Astral barely managing to dodge. He was then easily thrown against a wall, body crying out in protest.
His eyes drifted down to the other armored figure; the mare was motionless as the creature grinned.
Sassi?
A set of claws reached out to grasp her. It looked at him, seeming to relish in the fact Astral was frozen in fear.
The terror peaked, reaching a point where it was all-encompassing. Yet there was something else that ignited in Astral’s heart. He spoke before realizing what words left his mouth.
“AI. Inject whatever you need to. Make me a hundred percent. Override, whatever. NOW!”
Strength returned to Astral’s limbs as medications were dumped into his system. With his body back under control, the terror’s grip on Astral’s mind lessened. Something else began to burn, and it made his entire body shake.
You can’t have her!
The shotgun blast tore into the fungal armor around the creature’s head, Astral’s hooves shattering the tile as he launched himself at the mutant.
I’m so tired of being scared!
The fear was burned away even as Astral buried a blade in the creature’s face. The roar that ripped from his mouth the Thestral’s throat ache.
The mutant shrieked, struggling to tear the Thestral off of it. One strike, then another, and another. Astral shredded the creature’s face and neck with the blade. Blood splattered his visor and armor, the stallion hacking off chunks of black flesh until he was torn off with a desperate swipe.
He knew this feeling. In an instant, he was back in the other Silo, charging through mutant hordes to save Sassi. There wasn’t any fear; only rage. An all-encompassing hatred of this creature fueled every motion.
And he loved it!
Flaring his wings, Astral recovered and charged again, hooves digging into the tiles. The flamethrower consumed the creature in a wall of fire as the pony forced it back. The mutant scampered away, desperate to return to the air vent as the enraged Thestral followed.
“You’re not going anywhere! You’re mine!”
Astral’s ferocious voice was alien to his ears as the shotgun rang out, blowing off one of the creature’s hind limbs. He charged, blood on fire as anger consumed every thought and action. There wasn’t any room for terror, for fear.
This creature had hunted him. It had hurt Sassi.
It had to die.
He jumped again, slamming a combat knife down on the creature’s other limb and pinning it to the floor. It whirled around, desperately lashing out with its claws. The shotgun blew the appendages to splinters. Astral ducked under a set of snapping teeth. The blade eviscerated the mutant’s neck as the Thestral rolled underneath it, jumping onto its shoulder blades.
I’ve killed hundreds to save her. You’re no different!
Hacking and stabbing at its armored back, Astral finally managed to rip off one of the fungal, ceramic-like plates. Putting his entire weight into the punch, the stallion shoved his hoof into the creature’s back as deep as it could go, then jumped off and stood in front of Sassi protectively.
“You don’t scare me anymore!” Astral growled, the shotgun roaring as the creature lunged forwards in a last-ditch attack.
“Now DIE!”
The hallway abruptly shook, the creature exploding into gory chunks. The high-explosive grenade Astral had shoved into the mutant’s shoulder blades separated the creature’s neck from its body. The steaming pieces of the creature littered the hallway, Astral’s sides heaving.
That felt so good!
MORE!
The shotgun fired again, blowing the decapitated creature’s head into smithereens. A malevolent grin began to work its way across Astral’s face as he fired again, this time shredding one of the limbs. Then another. Then the torso. Then the leg. Then-
Then…
He took a few deep breaths, the rage fading slowly. It was dead. Sassi was safe.
Sassi.
SASSI!
He turned to look over the mare. The armor didn’t look too worse for wear, but the RASP system still was flashing warnings. The fear turned his anger to ice, the Thestral’s sole focus on the prone mare. Only now did he notice they had less than fifteen minutes before the reactor blew. He hadn’t even noticed the timer…
“Sassi? Is she ok? AI? What’s going on?!”
“Ow. Still here, Astral.”
“Sas?”
Astral reached down and hugged her tightly, the readings now flashing green as the mare returned the gesture.
“Systems repair. Stand by.”
“I’m here, Astral,” the mare said, slowly standing up. “They can put as much padding in helmets, but your brain still gets rattled. The armor wouldn’t let me move, but I’m alright.” She then flipped her visor up, eyes looking over her stallion carefully. “Are you ok?”
He sat down, eyes wide as his visor retracted.
“I…uh, don’t know,” the Thestral whispered. “AI? What are the side effects of that?”
“Expect elevated strain on all bodily functions and muscle groups. Unable to perform emergency injection measures for at least twelve hours due to risk of cardiac arrest. Non-strenuous activity recommended to help the processing of medications. Likelihood has increased for increased RASP modification side-effects, fatigue, and overall malaise for the next twenty-four hours.”
“So, you need to take it easy,” Sassi muttered, reading the same message on her display. “But that wasn’t what I was asking entirely about. You went a bit overboard there.” Gesturing at the dead mutant, the mare let out a huff. “Not saying it’s a totally bad thing. You were awesome in that fight! But…”
Alarm bells went off in Sassi’s head as Astral stayed quiet, his eyes on the floor. Double-checking the motion detection systems, Sassi then sat next to him. Confusion and fear began to creep back into their link once again as he pulled off his helmet. His eyes were wide, a horrified look starting to cover the stallion’s expression.
“Astral?”
He shook his head, sides shivering ever so slightly against hers. The Thestral didn’t say anything for a few moments, Sassi taking off her helmet as well. The simple act of being able to physically touch each other was an oddly grounding exercise. His hoof shook as she held it. The timer continued to tick down, but the fear was nearly all-encompassing.
“This place is changing me, Sassi,” Astral finally said, voice quavering. “Or, it’s changing parts of me. I’ve never been so angry, not like that. And it feels so good. I don’t have room to be afraid. Just point me at the fight and I can lose myself. It’s so freeing but scary. I couldn’t stop, even after that thing was dead. I wanted more.”
The mare let out a long breath, slowly nodding.
“Trauma changes you,” she finally said. “We’re both going to have more baggage. Maybe yours is going to be trying to wrestle with anger? I know you’re scared, and it’s ok.”
“I just don’t want to hurt you.” Astral’s voice was a soft, terrified whisper. “I wasn’t in control of myself.”
“Astral.”
Sassi’s soft, loving tone snapped his gaze over to her. An armored hoof reached up to rest against his cheek, tears welling up in her eyes. The fear in her love’s eyes fled at her touch.
“This happened before though. You told me about that time,” she said. “When you beat those monsters in the training center to a pulp, it was in defense of someone who needed it most. Your anger has never been towards those you love, who you protect. You stand up for those who needed saving.”
His shocked gaze softened. Astral felt emotion clog his throat.
“Those who need saving, like me,” Sassi whispered. “I trust you with my life. With everything I am. I always will.”
The tender, vulnerable demeanor he had grown to love so much shone for but a moment. But it was enough to push the darkness in Astral’s mind aside, tears trickling from his eyes as utter relief saturated his frame.
“You’re still you, Astral. Just like I’m still me. Trauma is a part of you. But how you manage it shows you who you really are. The fact you recognize the danger of it…that’s a good thing,” Sassi explained. “You’re an amazing stallion. I know you’ll be ok. It’ll be rough, but we’ll get through it together.”
He turned, giving her a gentle kiss that Sassi gladly returned, more than a little proud of herself that she was able to make her stallion’s ears perk up.
“I admit that I might have been inspired for part of that, owing to a fortune cookie,” Sassi said with a cheeky grin after they broke the kiss, Astral now smiling fully.
“Well, you are far sweeter than any cookie. So, I’ll take it.”
How her stallion was able to make Sassi melt into a puddle, she had no idea. Yet her gaze definitely had a pink tint to it.
She looked around, starting to laugh.
“O-only you could make this moment so darn romantic!” she said, holding her sides as Astral joined in.”
“You’re the one who made me cry! You’re the romantic one!”
After a few moments, he reached forward to rest his forehead against hers.
“Thank you for pulling me back, Sas,” he whispered. “When the dark thoughts are all I can see…”
“I’ll be there.”
Her firm declaration made Astral smile as they locked their helmets on again. As they trotted ahead, a sign that once would have made nothing but apprehension fill their hearts only now made angry, defiant determination burn all the brighter.
“Access to Silo 4 Restricted. Warning: Area condemned. All containment measures offline. Lethal force authorized for all trespassers.”
And in the corner of their HUD.
“T-minus ten minutes until prison block reactor detonation.”
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Twilight sat in her study in silence. Only the soft hum of a crystal disturbed her, but even that was eventually shut off. The mare stared at a bookcase, or rather, what lay beyond it. Hidden behind the books was a door, one she had simply forgotten about.
It was a door that nobody else knew existed. Twilight’s study was one of the most shielded locations in Canterlot, and she hadn’t told a soul. Not Celestia, Luna, or Fluttershy. Even Discord would have trouble locating it.
Her exchange with Toxic Shield hadn’t left the alicorn’s mind. Her analytical thought process continued to identify failure after failure. But it wasn’t just about Last Light. Yes, she had failed to both take them seriously and show the organization and leader the respect they deserved. But there was a bigger problem.
She still went about her daily duties of course, yet the Princess couldn’t help but continue to think. All of her failures; Toxic, Arcane, Sassi, Astral, and the Company, ultimately centered on a single point. The confrontation with Arcane, a pony who had fallen through every safety net, had only solidified her findings and the result. The failures were, on a cursory examination, even present in her own life. Twilight’s dealings with the castle staff, and her subjects…it all connected to a singular point.
The failure is me.
Instead of dragging her to a dark pit of despair as some revelations in the past had, the days of musing had finally prompted a single thought. Twilight had nearly burst into tears during a slow session of court an hour ago when she realized it, driving her here.
When was the last time I made friends?
It had been a chilling moment, the mare’s mind completely freezing and almost making her stutter during an exchange with a noble. Sure, Tanzil was just a friend for now, but what about outside of royal duties?
Celestia had warned her of how ruling could change a pony. How literally looking down on creatures shifted your thought process to see their problems as insignificant. The mindset crept in that you naturally knew better. It had taken Celestia centuries to realize and understand it all, and even then, she had fallen prey to it. Twilight had known the dangers of assuming she’d be immune to every similar failing of her predecessor.
It was why Twilight had created this hidden door, and the room beyond.
How long has it been since I remembered what really mattered?
Her hoof pulled down on a book. A simple, physical action somehow meant so much more than a tug of magic.
The bookcase slid aside, revealing the door beyond.
The room beyond it was a library and small study but with far different proportions than the rest of Twilight’s room. It was smaller, cozier. A small hidden home of wooden walls and floors that would appear like a large cottage if it was set alone. It was, in many ways, reminiscent of a library that once was built into a tree.
It was from a time when things were somehow more complicated, and yet Twilight had remembered what mattered most.
Books lined a third of the wooden walls, a small kitchen, and bathroom lying straight ahead, and then a tidy study and mirror to the left. There was another door to her right, but the mare paid that one no mind for now. In the center of the entry room was a hoof-sized, blue crystal, barely active with purple sparks fizzling from it as it waited on a wooden table.
Twilight felt tears trickling down her cheeks, but she couldn’t put words to why. There was such a different atmosphere in this place. Yet there wasn’t a way to describe it. Not yet at least. It was so familiar and warm. There was a happiness that pervaded the air itself. A feeling from a time long ago, when her world was a tree-bound library and the visitors were her constant friends…
It was a feeling that should never have been forgotten. Three words had shaken Twilight out of a stupor she had sworn would never overtake her.
“How long has it been?” she managed to croak out.
“Welcome, Twilight. It has been eighty-three years, fifty-two days, ten hours, five minutes, and seven seconds since your last visit.” A soft, computerized voice said.
That only made the tears fall faster.
Eighty-three years!? Nearly a century? How has it been so long?
“Shall I initiate the conversion process?”
Her throat was dry. The mare was nervous for some reason, despite having crafted the spell herself and tested it dozens of times. Used it hundreds, thousands of times flawlessly.
That is until she forgot. Like many things, it was shunted into a ‘nonessential’ category and never touched again.
“Run a complete self-diagnostic first. If functioning at one hundred percent after six passes, initiate.”
The crystal construct hummed as it worked. Twilight walked over to the desk on her left, ducking under the entryway.
There wasn’t any dust, of course, the cleaning spell had preserved the room perfectly. A few pictures stood on the desk. Twilight sat down and stared.
I wish you all had been here to remind me.
She made a mental note to schedule a visit with Fluttershy. That pony was the only one of her friends that still remembered her other than Spike.
Remembers me. As Twilight.
The first picture was only a few months after arriving in Ponyville. A unicorn mare with her friends. The second was in the same location. They all looked more grown up, but still had the love for each other despite their trials. The only other difference was the wings on Twilight’s back. A few other pictures dotted the desk; candid photos of their various outings and adventures.
I miss you guys.
I really did forget the one thing that started it all.
Tears welled up in Twilight’s eyes at that.
“All systems at one hundred percent. No errors detected. Process ready to initiate. Please proceed to spell chamber.”
Twilight walked to the door, just to the right of the entryway. It opened into an impossibly large room; the beauty of space-warping spellcraft.
She sat down in the center, the mare looking at the impeccable stone carvings placed in front of her as the sunlight beamed through the stained-glass windows on every side. They were taller than Twilight could reach on her hind hooves. The statues were of a likeness that made the mare’s heart ache as they shone in the sun, the cutie-mark gemstones of her friends depicted on each podium. Every window bore a matching, colorful depiction of the memorials.
All of her friends had lived full, long, and joy-filled lives. Twilight had come to terms with their passing. While inevitably gut-wrenching, each of their deaths had been a peaceful journey to a new adventure.
A brief conversation with Discord when the realization of her friends’ mortality forever changed her view of the Draconequus. Oh, he was annoying and obnoxious, yes. But Twilight had never doubted his genuine kindness after that.
It had been a bad day; the mare had them now and again. When the crushing weight of a new rule had been too much. Sometimes her neurotic nature came to a head all at once, and she just shut off the world to recover. Nobody knew, of course. Celestia suspected, but that was about it. In that case, it had been the realization that her friends were growing old, while she didn’t.
She never would.
‘They’ll be gone, Discord. All of them. Sure, there are spells, but they don’t want that. They’ll be gone in the next decade, if not sooner. And then I’ll be left-”
‘Gone? What makes you think they’ll be gone?’ Discord had interrupted with an annoyed huff. ‘I can make my body vanish on a whim, decomposition and all! That doesn’t mean I’m gone! Goodness, you ponies are so narrow-minded.’ His words made Twilight stare, the fear and panic fading.
‘Death is just another path, one we all must take. Well, almost all of us. I would have thought you’d realize the obvious result by now.’
‘What result?’ Twilight had asked, the worry fading for a moment. Discord’s eyes had softened, his demeanor was genuine and actually comforting.
‘Come now, Sparkles. With a world connected to so many realms, Tartarus, Limbo, Chaos; what makes you so sure there’s not another layer?’ He had paused, and an odd warmth had abruptly filled Twilight’s chest. It was rare when Discord was serious, and in this case, a tender kindness shone through his usually jovial gaze.
‘What makes you think there isn’t a place of endless sandy shores, beautiful forests, meadows, rolling plains, apple orchards, and everything you’d want to be happy, including your friends?’
Twilight’s eyes had been swimming with tears, her lips trembling. The Chaotic god then had let out a crooked smile.
‘Of course, that’s just my…opinion. I haven’t seen such a place before, oh no.’ He had then smirked with a wink. ‘That’d be cheating, after all.’
‘O-of course.’
After that had been one of the few times Discord had let Twilight hug him. A genuine, comforting hug.
How she had needed it that day, when Twilight hadn’t been sure about anything, let alone ruling.
I hope you all are happy, wherever you are. Waiting on those sandy shores…
The likenesses of the Elements of Harmony didn’t answer, but it comforted Twilight knowing that she could speak to Fluttershy, not just her stone statue.
But first…
“Initiating conversion.”
The floor of the spell chamber bore the likeness of Twilight’s cutie mark. It now pulsed with power, hidden crystals sending pink and purple waves of energy into the air around the mare. As the spell wrapped around Twilight, she couldn’t help but cry. There was a familiarity, a warmth of approval that she couldn’t place. The purpose of this entire home, of this spell, she had forgotten it. And the fallout was now evident. Nearly a hundred years of a mindset she never should have had.
The spell concluded, and the mare took a few deep breaths. Everything abruptly felt right. An odd feeling that had become normal was gone as she trotted out of the room. The spell had been crafted more than two hundred years ago. Specifically, after Celestia had told her how being an Alicorn would affect her physically. Back then, the idea of being taller than everyone just sounded wrong. She liked who she was, being able to talk to ponies at head height and not be a huge skyscraper over them.
She had never felt beautiful. That was the silent secret Twilight had never told a soul. Nerdy introverted bookworms weren’t pretty. At least, that’s what she had grown up thinking. It certainly was a difficult cycle to break. When all other affections then focused on her being a Princess, it simply reinforced that mindset. Outside of being royalty, she wasn’t attractive in ways that others were. Princess Twilight was beautiful. The pony who was an Alicorn. The mare who grew up to look like Celestia. That pony was gorgeous.
But Twilight wasn’t. That’s how it felt for so many years.
However, back then, with her friends and after becoming an Alicorn, it had been the closest Twilight had ever been to feeling like a mare, to feeling normal. The outings with ponies like Rarity were among equals rather than ‘everyone else’ and ‘the Princess.’
She hadn’t wanted that to change, the mindset of being normal and relatable. There had been a lot she hadn’t wanted to change, and not just physical aspects. So, Twilight had prepared countermeasures. It wasn’t just about her own insecurities though; she was smart enough to make sure of that. The spell had a much bigger purpose. It was a reminder to herself of a time when her friends could take on the world. A time when things were simpler. It was a physical memory that no matter her stature or status, she would always remember, even if it hurt at times.
And yet somehow, she had forgotten.
Twilight returned to her desk, and the tears were now those of happiness. Her eyes looked to the mirror, a hesitant smile on her face. The mare that looked back at her looked real. No tall stature or magically-enhanced completion complete with flowing mane. Instead, there was a pony who was genuine and full of the flaws that made every creature an enigma to unravel. A slight slump of Twilight’s shoulders, tired bags under her eyes…
In fact, there was very little to distinguish the mare from the one in the picture. Wings and a horn, but otherwise a normal-sized pony. But eyes that had previously been dulled now sparkled with life, with hope. Despite the mane not having an ethereal flow to it, there was something about it that felt right. Everything felt better, less burdensome and frightening. Somehow this point of view felt so much better.
When had she changed? When had she stopped being the Princess of Friendship, the pony who reached out to those who didn’t have a friend? When did she become ‘above’ all of that?
When did Twilight forget one of the most important lessons of all, one that she learned far before her ascension? It was a lesson that had been reinforced every time she and her friends had tackled a challenge and succeeded, or even failed, then getting up and tring again.
But now her friends were gone.
No. Not gone.
She had to keep reminding herself that, but it was so difficult at times. To rule was to be alone, so painfully alone. This room was an important reminder that such an existence didn’t have to be the case, however.
And Celestia had drilled it into her head that to be alone during ruling was a choice. She had begged Twilight to reach out, to make sure she had someone at her side, be it a friend or otherwise.
That thought made an amused smile twitch at Twilight’s features. Even now she had to be reminded of that important decree and lesson she had been told so long ago.
“Go to Ponyville, and make some friends.”
When had she stopped thinking that lesson applied to her? After her friends had passed away, it had been too painful to consider. And then it was just easier to not reach out.
To realize they were…
A simple note was scrawled and sent. Twilight never contacted Discord for anything other than business. There were plenty of chances to do so, she just…hadn’t. The mare was now realizing that was one of many mistakes, another instance of her not being a friend. There were only five words, but he would know. At least they had ended on a pleasant note after the incident with Arcane.
‘Endless sandy shores? You promise?’
There was a knot in Twilight’s chest. Had she shunned the Draconequus too? Would he even care after she had shown so little interest in him and plenty of outright annoyance?
The letter that popped back answered all of those questions and made Twilight’s lips tremble, the mare sniffling.
‘Promise is a strong word, Sparkles. Those things are so un-chaotic. I don’t make promises willy-nilly. You should know that by now.
To answer your question, I promise.
Do you want me to send Flutters your way? She’s always got hugs to spare.’
The Chaotic God had a heart of gold. It had just taken a mare far better than Twilight to unlock it for all to see. She sent a brief reply and got an immediate response.
‘No. I’ll reach out to her. Thank you, Discord.’
‘Anytime, Sparkles.’
Endless white shores.
The image of her friends relaxing on a beach was too much. More moisture gathered in her eyes as Twilight reached over a hoof, gently touching the frame of the largest photo. A small note was stuck on the back, and it made tears trickle down her cheeks.
“We love you, Twilight! You’ll do great! Just don’t forget about us normal ponies!”
The picture frame was hugged to her chest, the mare crying quietly. It had been a joke, of course. But the overall message now hit her as hard as a physical blow. How could she have forgotten so much about friendship? About being herself?
Just a pony.
Those three words said during the call with Toxic had rattled Twilight to the core. In an instant, the entire model built up around her rule had fragmented.
When had she stopped caring about them? Those who would be described as ‘just a pony?’
When did I stop thinking I was anything but that? I’ve always just been an introverted unicorn, a normal pony who happened to make some amazing friends. Who would I be without them?
I’m not above mistakes. Above failing.
I’m just…me.
“Thank you for reminding me,” Twilight whispered, placing the picture back gingerly. Her voice was different. More genuine, more her. Changing your physical size tended to do that.
“Set a reminder. One week if I haven’t initiated the spell again by then. Repeat until I return here.”
“Confirmed.”
Twilight took a few steps to go back to the spell chamber and stopped.
No.
An almost physical pulse made Twilight turn around. She didn’t know what it was, but something stopped her. As if a friendly hug was pulling her back. It made her smile.
If that was you guys, I get it.
I won’t forget.
“Cancel that.”
She had regularly visited this enclave and reminded herself of what was most important. Those times were usually monthly and had been for the first hundred years or so of her rule. A few hours here and there spent in a form that made Twilight feel more normal. Never in public of course, but just a time to remember what really mattered. But over time, it somehow had just seemed silly to continue it all. Things were fine, after all.
One of the many matters Twilight had been wrong about. So incredibly wrong.
No more reminders. This isn’t just going to be a deviation from the ‘norm’. Some secret hideaway where I can be myself away from the public eye.
She walked back towards the door. It was uncomfortably tall.
What I’ve been doing hasn’t been working. It’s time for a change.
A quick drafting of a memo, and she sent the note on its way to the head of Castle staff. No doubt the public would be shocked, but Twilight found herself not caring in the slightest. She’d have the other spell on standby for dignitaries and any ponies who found it to be too much of a shock. But the old normal had done more harm than good.
Time to go back to the basics.
A note was also sent to Fluttershy, Twilight wanting nothing more than to hug the yellow Pegasus. She’d understand. She always did.
The guards outside her private chambers did a literal double take as the mare trotted out. The regalia still fit, thanks to a spell. But not having done this in generations…
There definitely needs to be a change.
“Erm, Highness?” One of the guards asked, Twilight nodding as she looked at him. Looked up at him.
It was such a weird feeling, and yet it made the mare’s chest glow. It was a normal feeling. She wasn’t towering over everycreature, looking down on them and their ‘little’ problems. She was right here, as just another pony. One with authority, but one who wanted to help and understand.
“Yup. It’s been a while since I’ve done this. There’s already a memo being processed,” Twilight explained, the two stallions blinking. “Speaking of which, Anvil, is it? How are Daisy and the shop?”
When did I stop trying to at least get to know creatures who help me every day? Even a few words in passing?
The guard stared, clearly trying to process things before speaking.
“Huh? I-Oh! Well, she’s…we’re doing ok,” he stammered, and Twilight frowned. It was a lie and a bad one. Almost all of her guards were horrible liars; they always had been.
Anvil was no exception. Twilight had personally married him and Daisy a few years ago. The mare’s flower shop had been hit by hard times. Daisy was consistently falling ill a few times due to a magnetic attraction to the feather flu, and things had been rough for the pair. She knew enough about Anvil that most of requested time off was spent taking care of his wife during such bouts.
“Can I ask you to please tell me the truth?” Twilight asked softly and was shocked to see a few tears well up in Anvil’s eyes.
When did I stop being a pony that cared?
“She’s been sick again, but doing better. But the shop is still closed, and…”
The mare waited. Didn’t rush or walk off, but waited to hear what this pony had to say.
Because he’s worth a few moments of my time, at the very, absolute least.
“I don’t know if we can keep the shop. I can’t-there’s not enough bits to keep it open.”
And you’re here at work while your wife is at home feeling sick.
My ponies deserve to have a Princess of Friendship. A pony who cares.
They deserve better than who I’ve been.
Twilight continued to frown, summoning a brief form and filling it out briefly before giving it to the stallion.
“That sounds like there’s been a mistake,” she said softly. “Castle guards and their families have emergency coverage for expenses like this.”
He shook his head.
“We tried. Because she can still work at times, it doesn’t count. And-”
Twilight pulled the form up again with her magic, smiling at her guard as the document waved in front of him.
“Anvil, you have coverage. Send this form with only a few bits for the next mortgage payment.”
The stallion’s eyes drifted to the note, and the well-trained guard barely held his composure as he read. It was a royal decree and held a simple message.
‘To whom it may concern,
This is a notice to direct all mortgage, utilities, and the average of all day-to-day operation deficit payments for ‘Vases and Sprouts’ to Sparke.Inc directly. Please do so for the next year. If there are any issues, contact me directly.
-Princess of Friendship, Twilight Sparkle.’
His lip trembling, Anvil managed a soft “thank you.” He clearly didn’t trust himself to speak as he tried not to cry. The pony then asked a question that made Twilight’s heart ache. And yet it cemented her resolve even further.
“But why?”
Twilight managed a smile and hoped the guards wouldn’t see her own eyes dampen.
“Because I care about ponies. And that means my subjects and my friends. So, that means you, Anvil. I think I haven’t done a great job of showing it day-to-day. There are going to be some changes around here, and I’d say this is a good place to start. Go home to Daisy and take the next week off, full pay of course.”
Anvil didn’t say anything, simply staring.
“I can make that an order.”
He snapped out of it, saluting and stammering his thanks again before trotting off. His partner, having stayed silent now spoke up.
“I don’t get it.”
“Spear, is it?”
“Yes, Highness.’
Twilight gestured to the retreating form of Anvil.
“I’m the Princess of Friendship. And quite frankly, I think I’ve been doing a lousy part of fulfilling that last word of my title. I haven’t been a good friend to many creatures, my guards included. I can be your superior, your ruler, all of that. But that doesn’t mean I don’t care. I’m not some creature who is removed from everything outside the castle,” she paused. “At least, I don’t want to be. I think I started to forget some things, and so I want to change that. You all deserve more than I’ve been. Equestria deserves more.”
She promptly sat down in front of the shocked guard.
“I figure this is a good place to start. So, how are you?”
Twilight took the rest of the day touring the castle. The reactions were shocked, naturally. But once the memo got around, there was a new energy in the castle the mare hadn’t felt in centuries. A buzz that the Princess was being oddly friendly to everypony, and rather generous in both time and if necessary, bits.
And wait until they find out I’m not expecting anything back.
Her private company, Sparkle.Inc had enough funds for such charitable donations for centuries. It was where all of the mare’s patents were registered, after all. Over two hundred years of stock growth, selling patents, and so forth. It was a slush fund the mare hadn’t touched because…
…
She didn’t know why. Savings? Some other reason that had gotten lost as the digits concerning profit went beyond what a reasonable creature could spend in a hundred lifetimes?
I think I can learn something from Toxic. That helping others sometimes is worth the pushback.
That the one creature is worth fighting for. Perhaps not always achievable, but a goal worth remembering and seeking after.
Oh, there’d be a few disgruntled creatures saying she was showing favorites. But that was manageable. Just the feeling Twilight had as she sat in the throne room as her old self was overwhelming. Everything felt bigger, more imposing.
It felt like a challenge, that she had to be more careful and not take things for granted. And somehow that was comforting.
Her horn ignited, changing the throne and surroundings. She was still the ruler of Equestria. A Princess who needed to lead. There would be enough fuss about her appearance as it was.
But it was about time to remind everyone that she was the Princess of Friendship. That while she would be cracking down on the corruption that still festered, she wanted to help ponies. To be a friend to those who others thought not worth giving the time of day.
She also wanted to remind herself of that.
I used to be the pony that didn’t think friends were worthwhile. And I almost slipped back into that mindset of when I first started out. Despite everything I’ve learned and everyone that helped me get to where I am now, I started to forget when they were gone.
I’ve got a lot of work to do.
A portal opened, chaotic magic meaning a certain pony would be stepping out shortly. The throne room was cleared and sealed, Twilight waiting patiently.
“Twilight? I got a note. If it’s about Arcane, we can…” Fluttershy’s voice trailed off, the Pegasus staring at her friend who was now at eye level. The Alicorn put down the furniture and items in her grasp, sitting in front of the Pegasus with an awkward smile.
“Hi, Fluttershy. It’s-I wanted a change,” Twilight said softly. “I needed to change.”
The tight hug that Fluttershy yanked Twilight into only solidified the mare’s decision. The Pegasus cried softly into Twilight’s shoulder, and all she could do was hug the mare back, her own eyes running with tears. It had been two hundred years since Twilight had gotten a hug like this, in a form that didn’t loom over all others.
That was one of many mistakes now being remedied.
“Welcome back,” Fluttershy whispered.
That only made Twilight’s tears flow faster, the mare’s sides shaking with sobs as the Pegasus rocked her back and forth, now somehow comforting her.
“I s-shouldn’t have forgotten. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”
She remembers when I first came to Ponyville. When I was just…me.
“What for?”
Twilight wiped her eyes, taking a few deep breaths. An unsure smile spread across her face, Fluttershy watching her friend curiously.
She stammered her way through the tearful explanation, Twilight hanging her head in shame at some points. She wasn’t even sure it made sense. Forgetting that she wasn’t better than others, that she wasn’t always right. That somehow friendship had gotten lost amid an automatic, political machine.
"I forgot about you guys," the Princess said, head leaning into Fluttershy's should. "I thought I'd be better. That my systems would work perfectly. But I failed the ponies who needed me most. And I forgot w-who I was. Until I remembered that I'm just..." her voice drifted off, Fluttershy chiming in with that soft, caring tone she always carried.
"a pony?"
Twilight nodded, taking a few deep breaths. The simple sentence she spoke after Twilight was done made the mare bawl into the Pegasus’s shoulder once again.
“As I said, welcome back,” Fluttershy whispered with a kind smile.
How did I ever think I’d be ok without my friends? They’re probably laughing at me. I wonder if Rainbow took a bet for how long it’d take me to come to my senses?
She probably did. Applejack would have won the bet though.
I need to visit Ponyville again.
I need to check up on the Apple and Cheese families.
I need to visit Spike and Gabby.
I need to make sure Tanzil knows I won’t back out of our date if he still wants that.
I need…
A single thought cut through the ever-growing list in Twilight’s mind, and it made everything abruptly feel right once again as Fluttershy continued to hug her. Through the tears, Twilight could have sworn that an ethereal outline of a mare smiled at her, nodding in approval from the corner of the room before vanishing. Twilight almost expected to have her cutie-mark start glowing again. The thought refused to leave Twilight’s mind, burning into her memory.
I need my friends, I always have. That never changed, even if I did.
Because after all,
I’m just a pony.
‘Dear Princess Celestia,
Today I re-learned a few lessons I really shouldn’t have ever forgotten. But I did. You warned me, but I simply…forgot.
I learned I’m just a pony. I’m a pony who has made some severe mistakes, who let ruling make me into someone I never wanted to be. I started to forget the things I learned with friends once they weren’t at my side.
I learned that I have to work at being a good friend, and that’s hard when your job is isolating. I learned that I have a long way to go, but I’m at least starting to be better.
I learned that being a friend is something you can forget how to do, and that I need to practice it again.
Your (always) student,
Twilight Sparkle.’
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Had trouble reading this chapter. I couldn't stop crying. Though I am interested of course in the action with Astral and Sassi, the part with Twilight..
Powerful and pure, and thank you for this amazing addition.
The section with Twilight was wonderful, really wonderful. I'm not sure how to put it other than it was exactly right.
But the section with Astral and Sassi is starting to feel repetitive and almost formulaic. It feels like they've done and talked about largely the same things for a few chapters now with only slight variations.
Maybe I'm alone in this criticism, but as I was reading this chapter I was reminded of earlier sections where the facility really did feel like a vast, expansive underground complex that was lived in rather than endless hallways the two of them gun their way through to reach the next hallway to gun their way through.
11588862
I'll count that as a success!
Thank you for the feedback! And I agree, the bit with Astral/Sassi is a bit standard. Bringing up the lived-in feel is a good point that I'll try to apply for the the future chapters.
Glad I nailed the bit with Twilight!
11588850
11588862
It's not just you. I've been reluctant to voice it, but I've been skimming most of the thestrals' parts for a while now. They end up in this loop of stepping out of a safe room, then almost immediately someone getting so injured they have to sit in the next safe room for a week talking about how much they love each other.
The previous stories had a couple singular stretches of that, and at least one was very long. But it felt fine because it was infrequent enough that they weren't retreading ground, got it out of their system, and peppered throughout with outside action. Even Tox and Gelly's gas jungle was working out stuff they hadn't yet. But here it feels like it's been happening every 20 feet, and the downtime has mostly been talking in well-worn circles. They kinda already made about as many emotional breakthroughs fairly early on as they reasonably could before seeing daylight, and it feels like they've been sitting as close to the logical end of their character arcs as they're going to get before then. I just clicked a random chapter about 40 chapters ago, and they don't feel like they're in a significantly different emotional space now to then.
And on top of that, it's now longer than any of the other stories with a whole silo left, but it feels like less than half as much has happened? There's been a lot less connective tissue. Which is a shame, because what connective tissue is there is really good. The silo crawls themselves are great little grotesqueries, and Twilight confronting her national and personal rot has honestly been the most compelling stuff going on.
It really does feel like there's pacing issues here that...aren't exactly new, but are much more exacerbated. And it feels even more jarring because we've taken the premise of being stuck in the middle of the Wily Fortress from the start, and somehow ended up with the bulk of it being gas jungle blues.
Oh my gosh. This chapter. I really love this!
One hundred and twelve chapters. The emotions so tightly packed in seven thousand words that I can gaurantee all the chapters combined can't beat this moment.
Heck, this could even be a shortfic all on its own!
If you can't tell, I love this chapter a lot! Despite that, I am still going to give a strong observation and critique.
Astral's worry about his anger is good! Identifying the problem and having a support to rely on is a huge step closer to recovery. But... the statement Sassi brought up is good, it is not advisable to follow that statement completely.
This isn't anything wrong with your writing or reasoning Wordsmith. Rather, this is about the potential misuse of it.
Time changes people. If you met your younger self, they might find you amazing. Or alarming. Just like this aged Twilight who forgot Friendship.
If Astral used this quote as his only compass, I hope he has the right support group to help him. Because this quote implies you can be angry and destructive... as long as it is for love. If Astral were to fall out of love down the line, or even forget what it was like like Twilight, it could become a horrifying ending.
The only critique here is Twilight's talk with Fluttershy. When Fluttershy asked what Twilight was sorry about, we essentially got a fast forward of text until Fluttershy spoke again.
I know writing dialogue can be boring and using dialogue skips are okay, but this part is where Twilight truly reveals herself to her only friend and us. The previous parts all seem to lead up to this: does Twilight still have it in her to talk to an old time friend who had witness her regressed over the years? Would it be awkward? How does Fluttershy react to each statement?
Fluttershy need not react to every statement, but simply writing Twilight's rant can bring a certain gravity to it, unparalleled! I can give you a short one that can make this a lot more impactful; time may vary:
I have one or two more observations, but these two are ones I find most important. And because I forgot them.
Either way, you are doing awesome RadBunny! You are on the final stretch and I can't wait to see your conclusion!
11588971
Thank you for the feedback! As another comment also pointed out, and I agree with, the story is suffering from some pacing issues. I think this is mainly due to its length and the recent structure wasn't as thought out as previous Silos, and there's some areas I'm in unknown waters in and (obviously) still improving (See the comment below this)
I agree that the quote is a yellow flag. It's a good immediate comfort, but could easily be misused and change as time goes on.
I also agree with you that the interaction with Twilight/Fluttershy shouldn't have been such a wall of text to heighten the impact. I added a little blurb to break it up, because that was an iffy thing I saw during my edits.
11588970
Thank you for the feedback- and I appreciate you bringing that to light! As I mention in the above comment, I agree that there are some pacing issues. I think that partially stems from the length of the story, the episodic-like chapters, and that these recent Silos weren't as tightly-knit with a known narrative structure as previous ones. These two Silos were very general in terms of events and outlines- that has obviously led to some narrative stagnation, which is a failure on my part. This last Silo isn't nearly as long and we're in the final Arc- which should have led to more progression.
Ironically, I think this would be a very good generic TV show. Survivors battle --> get injured --> drama (sometimes rehashed) --> rinse and repeat. However, I want to be better than the generic sludge produced nowadays, so thank you again for bringing it up.
This is my longest story by far, and there's areas I'm in unknown waters with. This includes failing with a compelling narrative at times, and I think the circular/formulaic drama is one of them where it has been harped on a bit too much and thus makes it lose impact (and interest). I'll definitely try to rectify that in the remaining chapters, and keep that in mind for future stories. Time to make sure that connective tissue is in place!
The length of the story is something I think should have absolutely been cut down, in hindsight. There's a lot of areas that should have been condensed and re-written to remove that stagnation. But, I have to do something wrong at times to learn when not to do it again! So, thank you!
I’m gonna be “that guy” but I think I need to.
The romantic relationship is great but it’s been recycled for forty chapters and never advances.
GET ON WITH IT.
This tale is dragging to a halt. S**t or get off the pot. I’m totally into your main characters but nothing is progressing. It’s wash, rinse, repreat.
I love the relationship you’ve built but it’s going nowhere until the story does.
11589190
Duly noted! Other comments have echoed similar views. There's definitely been a narrative/pacing failure on my part. I'm currently going through future chapters to correct it.
Called it.
11589247
Beast from the underworld says hello!
I won't echo the others about Astral and Sassi, though I will say that it feels like this chapter finally feels like there's going to be some forward momentum building. That's welcome and appreciated.
The section with Twilight, as has been cheered about, is where I'm VERY pleased with the chapter. That was big and delightful. I... wasn't expecting the time jump to be that expansive though, that was a shock. At the same time, with a little hindsight, it explains a lot. I do want to see more of how Twilight's tackling things (maybe some cross-communication as things come to a head?) and I can feel the climax nearing. I'm quite excited for this!
11589273
I'm honestly really happy I nailed Twilight's moment.
The other pacing issues are a conglomeration of things, but thankfully should be fixed for the remainder of the story. I'm just glad people voiced their feedback, even if it is about where I've failed- because that's where I can improve even more for future stories!
11589190
You want them to advance their relationship the in a literal life or death situation that has been ongoing for those 40 chapters?! Seriously dude?! Literally the whole second story is going to be about their relationship advancing. This one is about the start of the relationship and how they get out of the silos to advance that relationship. Radbunny has already said that he is going to focus more on Sassi and Astral in the second story. He already said that the relationship is going to be a slow burn.
He said multiple times that it is only half of the main focus of the story. We are nearing the end of the story as he has said multiple times already you do not need to complain about all this just wait a few more chapters until the next story which is going to be all about sassy and Astros relationship once they're outside the silos they will deal with their trauma and their relationship once they're safe. the silos are no place for a romantic relationship to advance to any physical level, this has been said inside and outside of the story multiple times. Not to add on to that but there is the fact that Sassi has already got aversions to it that Astral is breaking.
Honestly I dislike the fact that Twilight has a way to revert herself back to her younger self since it's heavily hinted that the change is permanent. Don't get me wrong I understand her wanting to do so and I find it fitting that she would have something but seriously she was already growing in the series. Have her be Cadance's height or something like that not full on Celestia size like she is at the end of the series. Somewhere in between her herself during the battle of the Bell and the end of the series it's still accomplishes the goal of making her more approachable and it's something that is more possible. But that's the only thing I dislike about the whole thing. Twilight going all the way back to when she just ascended yeah that's not a good thing. Remember that there are ponies that naturally get as tall as Cadance so it's still fulfills the same thing you said here, she wants to look at ponies and not Tower over them, that's fine if she's at Cadence's height she'd still be only a little bit taller at most but still within the natural range of ponies. Fleur-de-lis was only one of the ponies that get a bit taller, hell if I'm remembering correctly Carrot Cake was also one so it's not just mares but stallions too. Troubleshoes and Big Mac were outliers Giants literal horses compared to the rest of the ponies around them I wouldn't have Twilight go all the way down to her post Ascension height if I had written this but that's just me.
Sorry for the wall of text but I just wanted to get my thoughts out on this. That last bit kind of had me reminded of remembrance where Twilight gave up her immortality all together. I'm not saying it doesn't fit her character to do it for her friends but it just rubbed me the wrong way like a complete and utter reset of herself even more so than the fact that she's not in Ponyville in the castle she was given. If you were going to have her do something so drastic also have her move to her old castle the one that was given to her by what is basically a god of the world on par with Discord. Honestly that would be a full send having her move back to Ponyville, back to the home she shouldn't have left. Maybe that last bit could be for the next story have her realize that part of the reason she feels separate from ponies even in her smaller form is the fact that she's not living where she made friends in the first place she's not living in the home made by her friends there's a reason why I keep her in a Ponyville and have the center of government move to Ponyville instead of encanter lot whenever I write post Last problem series. It literally was a 100% other mistake by the writers to have her move back to Canterlot. It's a literal reset of her character and placing her in the role of Celestia at the same time. It's stupid and moronic she should have remained in the Crystal Castle she was literally gifted buy a force of the world. It is the one place that would constantly remind her of her friends thus avoiding the whole I need to change and be grounded and remembering lessons I learned because she would be living in the place that would remind her of those lessons all the time! Sure it would be a bit painful when they all passed but why didn't she just say "I'll take the crown but I'm staying in Ponyville it's where I do the best work I can do as the princess of friendship and this Castle is specifically made for me and my friends. Why would I ever move back to the place that would remove me from them?"
Again sorry for the wall of text I'm just playing some of my personal thoughts out and hoping that you use it in the next story
11589541
That's a fair enough take! I think your reasons are certainly valid. In this instance, I was aiming to have, essentially, her return to the basics. She realized that she forgot a lot of the basics that she learned with her friends- living in Canterlot, being a Princess, and literally looking "down" on everyone.
Then there's also the fact that's hinted in there, that Twilight doesn't feel herself, being in the large form. Everyone thinks she's attractive because, in a sense, she mirrors Celestia. Not because who she is naturally.
That'll be explored more in the 2nd book- but I think I definitely could have set things up more in prior chapters.
-
I also agree with your other comment about pacing w/ Astral and Sassi. The other comments do have a point- there has been some stagnation and repetitive plot arcs and moments that could have been cut down, removed, or otherwise modified. There was definitely a narrative failure on my part- and I totally own up to that.
That said, you hit on a key point. This isn't about taking their relationship from zero to end, but about breaking down the barriers Sassi (and Astral) have had their entire lives. They're building a unique relationship in a life-and-death scenario. They haven't had a relationship in a normal sense, and won't until they get out of there. And that'll be a whole new set of challenges, ones that I'm setting up in these moments. I never intended to have their relationship reach an end point in this book. But unfortunately, I think that came off as repetitive at times.
I appreciate the fact you brought that to light =)
11589532
You’ve misread my comment.
The relationship is going nowhere until the story does. Get on with the STORY.
I applaud the decision to put off anything heavy between the two until way later. What I’m crying out against is the repetitive we went through a thing and let’s look at our feelings in the exact same way for the twentieth time.
I adore these two and I want to see them stand and be true and win through. That’s why I’m complaining about “reruns,” so to speak. The story is great but it’s stumbling over repetitive feelings scenes.
“Murder your darlings.” - Stephen King, on editing
11589801
Thank you for clearing that up that is pretty easy to misinterpret to be honest I understand why he's going through this in this way again they literally can't work through anything so yeah getting on with the story is a good thing
This... I can't think of a more perfect way to end this scene.
Overall, this chapter was good as it always has been. But the last bit at the end, the last perspective... that made this chapter into something Great. I have learned something as well today.
A wave of change is going to roll over Equestria, and it will be in small powerful steps.
11592514
WHAT A CHAPTER!
....Wh-Why am I crying?!
11594543
Objectives: Make readers cry.
*Checks box
Whew, at first I thought this was yet another "Twilight lost her friends and could never make new ones" type of story, and while that is rather what happened at least you gave her a plausible reason for it, and more importantly you had her realize it and resolve to change that, which many stories don't do, just have her go on forever without what she's a specialist in, friendship. Thank you!
11605868
Most welcome! I think it's important to show progress, both forwards and backwards for characters who are ageless. In this case...she's got some learning to still do.
This always gives me chills since the first time I heard it was when I watched Argodaemon's "Remembrance" animation. This section here with Twilight seemed to be taking a similar direction -- maybe the same; I don't know Argo's internal story for the video when making it but I think he left it a bit vague so we could draw our own conclusions. I always interpreted it to be that Twilight was giving up her immortality to be with her friends in the afterlife (hence, why Celestia was also there).
It does make me wonder what necessarily happened here though. I know her physical form changed but is she a shorter alicorn, like when she first got her wings, or did the spell revert her back to being an alicorn? It may have been mentioned but I don't recall seeing this detail. Not sure how I'd feel if it was the latter but the former still makes some sense. Also, did the spell take away her immortality or is it still there but just altered her physical form?
I'm not sure it was necessary for Twilight do change her form to remember to be more of a friend to ponies, though I can also understand why it symbolically mattered to her and helped to reinforce the internal change.
I like that it ended with a letter to Celestia. Nice callback to the early seasons and likely a good exercise for her every now and then, even if she doesn't actually send it.
11688600
I always interpreted it as her friends having sacrificed themselves to save everyone- frozen in stone. So Twilight gave up her Alicorn powers to return them to life.
In this case, Twilight is just a smaller Alicorn- no long legs or anything. It was briefly mentioned there's multiple reasons for her shunning the "alicorn-shape" as it were. It just didn't feel like her, and made her even more removed from the population. Mentally, and physically. She might be a bit taller than average, but nothing out of the ordinary.
Same powers, same immortality. Just her "normal" form.
The /I] is there.
11820930
Thank you!