Chapter 111: Mouthwash
The two Thestrals just breathed for a few moments, Sassi yanking off her helmet. The air was stale and musty, but safe. The RASP AI confirmed the area was clear. All ventilation grates were intact, there were no spores, and the system had disinfected water. This was the main stopping point before the condemned silo, a rallying point for any construction or containment crews if the mare had to guess.
That was good. Sassi needed a minute. Or twenty.
She couldn’t shake the disgust that coated her like slime. Astral was safe, and that made everything so much easier. He was ok.
The mare shrugged out of her suit.
“Showers are in here. AI says the water is ok too. So, let’s rinse off and get things refilled. I doubt the food is any good, but even a sugar packet could be nice to snag.” Her voice was in a monotone, but any emotion was too much work.
“Sas, you ok?”
She shook her head, barely holding it together. Emotion made her neck tense up; words clogged her throat.
Astral managed to get out of his armor without too much trouble, the AI running a full set of diagnostics on both of the suits after the fight. He stumbled slightly, Sassi catching him. They didn’t need to stop. Ideally, they’d keep going.
But she couldn’t. She had to stop.
Not leaving her side, Astral slumped onto the shower floor, still taking a few deep breaths. Anxious, almost desperate concern hummed through their link. It should have helped; it did help. But not completely.
He let out a hiss as the first blast of water was freezing, the stallion backing up out of the stream.
“Eh. I’ll wait. Never liked cold showers,” he muttered, eyes then narrowing as his gaze drifted to his special-somepony. “Sas?”
She couldn’t help it. Even though the water was freezing, the mare scrubbed at her fur with the available soap. Despite shivering, Sassi continued. It helped at least a little bit. Every inch of her body aggressively went over twice and rinsed. It wasn’t a physically taxing activity, but her sides heaved regardless, hoof trembling as the now-warm water cascaded over her.
Despite his own body shaking with the strain, Astral staggered forward to sit at her side. The simple gesture made tears trickle from Sassi’s eyes.
“I need you, Astral.”
Just the thought made Sassi’s sides shake, the mare trying not to completely break down. It was a futile effort though, her mental barriers fragmenting. Seeing those gazes again, scanning over every part of her body as unsaid thoughts and desires leered behind their faces.
Being seen as just a thing…
“I’m here for you Sas, always.”
She didn’t know if she imagined it, but Astral’s loving voice echoed in her mind. A warm hum in the back of her consciousness shoved aside the toxic thoughts as the stallion scooted closer.
It was too much. She leaned over, wrapping him up in the offered hug. Burying her head into his chest, Sassi let herself cry. There wasn’t even a concrete reason, not yet. But her mind was quickly starting to put words to it all.
But for now, she just needed him. Knowing the stallion she loved was there for her, even if he didn’t understand why, was enough. Astral’s fur against her cheek and his tight embrace made everything else fade away.
“I can be weak. And that’s ok.”
She felt him nod, but there was too much going on in Sassi’s mind to even put two and two together. Astral held her tightly, his head laying across hers protectively. No words were said, but the concern radiating from their link was more than enough. Her sensitive ears just focused on the stallion’s heartbeat, a steady thudding that drowned out everything else. Even her thoughts.
Sassi didn’t keep track of time. She simply enjoyed relaxing in Astral’s embrace until she felt somewhat herself again. He didn’t say anything, only listening as the mare finally spoke.
“Having to act with Block. I had to go back to that place. To that mindset in the Silo,” Sassi whispered. “To be seen as just a thing. To realize I was just something to be used. I wasn’t someone. I was just something. To them, to the Company, to everyone. Nothing I wanted mattered. I couldn’t think of anything else, and I-it just went on and on and on and I couldn’t-”
Realizing that she was rambling, Sassi shook her head as her words trailed off. She didn’t have anything left to say. Thankfully, Astral did. He reached down and gave her a kiss. A simple, but long and chaste gesture that ended with him resting a cheek against hers. She was about to speak again, but Astral occupied her with another kiss. The look in his eyes made Sassi’s vision blur with tears again. A simple, but loving depth radiated from Astral’s gaze.
He just wants me to be happy, to be close.
To me.
“Of course I do.”
A few more tears trickled from Sassi’s eyes, the mare hiccupping as she stifled a laugh.
“How can you be so perfect?”
He blinked, laughing softly.
“I’m far from it. I’m just getting the hang of how to make you feel better. Kisses, hugs, and reminding you that you’re an amazing mare.”
The stallion paused as if cutting himself off. Sassi couldn’t help but smile, wiping away a few tears. She had a feeling she knew what words were unsaid.
“I don’t mind being your amazing mare,” she admitted, Astral grinning sheepishly.
“I didn’t want to say something possessive like that, after what you had to do,” the stallion added softly.
“And I appreciate it. But I love you. So, that’s something I want very much.”
He grinned, leaning into her hug again with a satisfied sigh.
“Well, I want to be your amazing stallion. So, we’re even.”
The tears had been replaced with smiles, Sassi taking a few relieved breaths.
“Thank you, Astral. Just, I knew it’d be bad getting through there. I didn’t realize that even just acting like that would be so disgusting,” she explained. “Before all of this happened, I could easily flip in and out of different roles.”
“You don’t have to expl-”
“But I want to,” she interrupted. “So just shush. Right now, you’re my mental and physical mouthwash from all that.”
Astral nearly choked on water from laughing, Sassi stifling her own giggles as he struggled to speak.
“I…that’s…one way of putting it!” He gasped from mirth, “but mouthwash? I think I’ll need to use more tongue. Duly noted!”
Her jaw dropped at his words, Astral cackling as Sassi slugged him in the chest. She wanted to fire back a snappy comeback, but her mind was utterly blanketed by a happy, warm glow.
“I’m sorry, I couldn’t resist,” Astral finally gasped. “I’m just happy I can make you feel better. Sorry for interrupting.”
“I’m going to use that mouthwash analogy again when you least expect it,” Sassi grumbled. “But it’s accurate. You…” her words drifted off, the mare collecting her thoughts. “You’ve shown me what it’s like to be loved for me. A contrast to everything I grew up around and thought was true. You don’t push anything onto me, and you’re just so dang concerned about how I feel. To have to actively go against everything you’ve shown me, even to survive, it hurt.”
“But you did it, and we’re both alive for it. So, thank you.”
“You don’t get to thank me,” she replied, hugging him tighter. “I owe you so much more.”
“Are we keeping score now?”
She snorted, kissing him before separating.
“If you want.”
“Ooooh this’ll be fun!” He then paused. “Eh. That doesn’t feel right. I liked it better when we were even. Never mind,” the stallion added with a loving grin.
They rinsed off, then got back into the armor after drying off. Sassi kept her eye on Astral, the stallion’s limbs still quivering.
“Are you ok to talk about stuff back there?” he asked, slowly buckling on the armor. “I’ll drop it if you want.”
“I’m good now. I promise.” The mare was sure to nod as a cautious look entered Astral’s gaze. “First though, did you hear me in your head?”
He stared, a smile starting to form on Astral’s face.
“Yep. It was rather nice. Did you hear me?”
“Yuuuup.”
The shocked stallion blinked, Sassi giggling.
“So did we just have our first official telepathic conversation?” she asked, reaching over to help snap on a stubborn bit of his armor.
“I think so? But now it seems to have faded,” he muttered. “The only other times it happened before; maybe it’s tied to emotions?”
“Makes sense,” the mare mused. “Extreme emotional stress could trigger it.”
“Well, I meant what I said. Erm, thought.” Astral’s face scrunched up adorably. “Ok, it’s going to take some getting used to.”
“Ditto. Still, thank you.”
She gave him a brief kiss, then gestured back towards the direction of the prison.
“I can explain stuff though, really. I know you probably have questions.”
“That’s true,” Astral said. “I mean, how did you know Block could be played like that? It was impressive. I honestly didn’t think he’d fall for it.”
Sassi let out a hum, sticking by Astral’s side as they looked over the room for anything of use.
“It helped that I knew him from before. He was one of the smarter prisoners, and so the Company kept him alive. He helped control the convicts from the inside. In exchange for staying alive, he’d identify certain groups for the Company that they needed, and turn groups against each other to keep the peace,” she began. “He’s always been the smart one, and being stuck around a bunch of room-temp IQ convicts gave him a bit of a superiority complex. He got beaten down by the muscleheads with followers but ran things far above their heads with his networking. He was just as cruel and horrific as them with murders and killings. But he did it in the shadows, and the Company saw him as valuable. He always put on a polite front, but could shed it in an instant.”
She shrugged, stuffing a few candy bars from a drawer into the armor’s container.
“So, I knew to play off of that, him seeing me as an equal and my own view of admiring his work. It’s why I immediately started saying that he was smarter than the rest since he was likely listening. I just gave him the validation he never got in here. It also helped that there are very few pretty faces down here. Of course, it’s a low bar for them, so what that says about me -”
“Noooooope.”
Astral’s interjection made Sassi blink.
“Nope?”
He shook his head, a smirk forming on the stallion’s lips.
“You were starting to put yourself down. Not on my watch.”
She trotted over to nuzzle under his chin, then returned to their looting spree.
“Thanks,” she whispered. The AI flagged a few locations of interest, a few items of canned food drawing their attention.
“But yeah. It was basically just validating him. After that, the usual feminine charm.”
“And you have pleeeeeeeenty of that, I might add. An overwhelming amount at times.”
Sassi’s pink face made Astral cackle, the Thestral thoroughly enjoying making his marefriend a blushing mess.
“I also appreciated the…erm, positive comments about me in bed. Even if it’s just speculation,” Astral said with a cheeky but slightly embarrassed grin.
“Oh, once we get out of here feel free to prove me right as much as you’d like. Y’know, Sassi Sentinel has a rather nice ring to it.”
Astral’s mouth dropped open, it being Sassi’s turn to cackle at the stunned stallion. Of course, her face was as red as his, but it wasn’t like either of those topics was a new thought to her.
Sassi Sentinel. I like how that sounds.
…I really like how that sounds!
She hadn’t thought in-depth about it, not like this. It made her heart flutter.
“You don’t get to make me blush without getting anything in return!” she said with a grin, still trying to control her giggles as her face continued to burn bright pink.
He tried to pout, but it was rather ineffective.
“Fair enough,” he said with an amused shake of his head. “But now I can’t even take a cold shower now when I’m in this armor!”
“Just have the AI turn down the heating elements.”
“Oh? AI. Freeze me in the armor for a few seconds.”
He let out a yelp, Sassi laughing as Astral glared at her.
“Hey, it works!” he stated, then began to sift through another drawer. “If I may ask, was anything you said about me true? I don’t want to come off as insecure. I know you said stuff to get us through it all.”
“But it still doesn’t feel good, from someone you love?”
The stallion paused at Sassi’s words, Astral finally nodding.
“Yeah. That little voice,” he admitted. “It’s stupid.”
“No, it’s not. You didn’t let me think it was stupid when I had similar thoughts. So don’t you start. I didn’t mean any of the negative stuff about you that I said.” The mare’s response was firm and left no room for negotiation. “But in a general sense, there were things that were true.” She then smirked, reaching over to give his side a bump with hers. “Including the part about being great in bed. Well, I assume that’ll be true, even if it takes us both a lot of practice to get there.”
“AI? Freeze me again please.”
Sassi giggled, the cheeky and affectionate look in Astral’s eyes making her heart flutter.
“The part about it being exhausting with someone not being on my level? That’s true, but not the whole truth,” the mare elaborated. “It’s not just smarts. It’s in so many ways. We complement each other and are on equal levels in a lot of stuff. That m-means so much, I can’t put words to it.”
Sniffling, the mare wiped her eyes, unable to keep a smile off her expression.
“You’re my equal in everything. Sure, I can beat you in a fight. But you can tell me stuff about the stars that I have no clue about, or destroy me in some board games. I don’t feel less or more than you, even though we have separate strengths and weaknesses. It’s not about being on the same level or something. We just aren’t competing.” She paused, eyes widening.
“I think that’s it,” Sassi whispered, sitting down abruptly. “I never put words to it. It’s not a competition.”
“And it always was in the Silos?”
“Always. In everything. But with you, I can just be me. And I get to be supported in w-whatever I do.”
Astral trotted over, nuzzling his marefriend’s cheek. He only responded with a single word, one that made Sassi smile.
“Always.”
She let herself enjoy his touch, nothing else mattering in that brief, beautiful moment. Unknowns lay ahead of them, and horrors behind.
But for now, they were ok and had each other.
Ah, some adorable fluff where our two Thestrals can take a moment to breathe...
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I'm so glad that they got the moment to decompress they needed and I mean it they really fucking needed that
Okay, I have to say it. I absolutely LOVE chapters like this cropping up every once in awhile. I know there are some readers that prefer to gloss over the touchy-feels, they want to see more of the horror and depravity of the Silos. And that's valid, too, but for me? I enjoy the fact that the heroes do get an occasional break to take a breath and reaffirm themselves and one another. Far, FAR too many writers out there try to go for action or horror, but instead fall into the trap of writing what I call "misery porn," wherein the protagonists are just put through endless and hopeless suffering, to the point that the overall plot just becomes meaningless.
This story certainly has the potential, but has rather nicely avoided falling into that particular literary swamp. And I cannot stress this hard enough, the fact that it doesn't descend into pure misery-horror just showcases the amazing talent of the writer. Kudos, RadBunny, you continue to knock it out of the ballpark with every new chapter and story.
Moving through the Silos is never going to be an easy task; and if it is, you know for sure something is wrong.
Having these little moments to get your head on straight and process? That is how you beat the Silos.
Friendship is magic~
Make sure to stuff it down the Company's throat.
11583302
Just like a video game. If you start encountering enemies...you're probably going the right way.
11583280
Thank you so much! I've definitely been learning to balance things. For example, in a prior arc where Astral was healing, I definitely lingered a bit too long, and stuff got repetitive. Likewise though, you can't appreciate action/horror if that's all there is. I really loathe the misery porn stuff where characters suffer for the sake of keeping the reader engaged rather than for an actual purpose. I aim to never do that with my stories.
That said, the success and relief for characters is all based on the trials they face; that's the balance I keep trying to strike. And apparently I've been doing a decent job!
Thank you again!
11583279
Indeed!
11583414
*Looks at 99% of the chapters* There's...uh, a lot
11583330
Except prey. If you do right things, you have less enemies...
11583454
Ok, fair enough
Gotta love breather chapters like this. Right, armor on, food and water, reload, and time to get back into it!
11583536
A nice breather. Now time to get the heck outta dodge, and finally blow up silo 3 (we all know it's coming, lol)
11583656
Indeed
All we are missing is a shotgun wedding with a shotgun shell as the engagement accessory. Heck, they could've already made a foal in their growing hivemind with all the cheesy love flying around.
Anyway, I am very curious how they are going to escape the silo once and for all. I don't remember what is the escape route other than it being a possible teleport. If it is, why hasn't anyone used such exit yet? I think it was said that it is a single use teleport thay runs out after one teleport, or maybe I am thinking of the first evacuation teleport.
11583858
And Arcane mentioned there's an old excavation/supply tunnel that was used in the original construction of the Silos. That's about all they know.
This sentence may need some TLC.
11584717
Why is that sentence....what?
Fixed (removed), thank you!
11583959
What I’m saying is taking a hostage is a bad move unless you plan on actually letting them go, the knife to the throat situation that Block used would only result in an angry and vengeful Sassy and even if he had gotten an advantage he couldn’t actually afford to do anything to Astral because someone who has lost the one person important to them and has nothing left to lose is a very dangerous individual
11586285
True, but Sassi wasn't exactly making Astral's importance well-known. So, Block assumed Astral could be used as leverage, even if he was technically expendable. But again, Block didn't kill Astral- only incapacitated him (thinking) that now Sassi has a reason to come back instead of abandoning them all.
Obviously, he miscalculated.
Fifteen more chapters, la di da! Fifteen more chapters!
We’re almost out of the underground!
I both want this story to end so that they get out of there, but I also don’t want it to end because I enjoy the characters, and want to see them progress in a good and healthy environment, so I cannot wait to get to the epilogue and sequel!
11687639
