Chapter 7
Once back in the normal pony universe, Prince Mark brought Caleb and Willow to his office in Canterlot Castle. After inviting them to make themselves comfortable, he seated himself behind his desk.
“While you were occupied at Rarity’s boutique, I was doing some research into your situation. Frankly, I don’t have much on the positive side to tell you. However, now that you have some clothes that won’t draw undue attention, I can at least allow you to do some shopping on my Earth to get some essential items such as the aforementioned shoes.”
“You weren’t keen on my staying there though,” Caleb pointed out.
“No, and I won’t be letting you go there unaccompanied. I don’t think you realize how problematic it is for you to be there. That is my native world and even I can’t visit with impunity.”
“Why not?”
“Because I was gone for so long that I was pronounced ‘Missing Presumed Deceased’. My will was executed and my worldly possessions given to my best friend. I had no wife or children, and no close relatives. Anyway, if I tried to use my social security number to acquire goods and services which require it, I’d either be refused or arrested for fraud and identity theft. I can’t open a bank account or get a credit card. My driver’s license has expired and I can’t renew it, so I never drive over there anymore. I can’t afford to be pulled over for any reason because I would not be able to prove my identity. If I tried to get my supposed death cancelled, I’d have to explain what happened to me. All these things would be your problem too with the added bonus of having a doppelganger.”
“What if I could get a fake I.D. and start a new life somewhere far away from the other Caleb?”
Mark sighed. “I suppose that would be possible, but I’m an honest person and I haven’t a clue how to go about getting a fake I.D. that would be good enough to successfully keep you out of trouble for the rest of your life. I’m betting that you don’t either.” Looking at the man’s face, the alicorn knew that he had scored on that point. “Anyway, even if you could get it, I really don’t want you to go there to live. You would compromise the secret of the portal to this and other worlds. In my ignorance, I made a couple of mistakes that I won’t repeat. All my dealings with Earth are done through my friend and business partner’s company. My cell phone is registered to that company as is my credit card. Even so, I use them as little as possible.”
“So, basically you’re trying your best to dissuade me from making your Earth my new home,” Caleb summarized.
“Yes. If it comes to the crunch, it is the final option. I don’t wish to dictate your life, but I must put this world’s welfare first.”
Caleb folded his arms across his chest and leaned back in his chair. “So, what other options are there?”
“The anthro pony world, for starters. I could have asked Rarity to come here but I wanted you to experience it for yourself. While there aren’t a lot of differences between that world and this, at least they’re bipedal and possessing hands—”
“And they all walk around stark naked,” the man interrupted. “I don’t think I could ever get used to that.”
“My anthro counterpart was able to,” Mark pointed out.
“I am not you, no matter which universe,” Caleb rebutted. “I reckon it's safe to say that we don't see this the same way.”
“You seemed to be pretty comfortable with Rarity just before we left,” Willow said snarkily.
Caleb glared at the mare. “I got involved enough with the clothes that I was distracted sufficiently. It doesn’t mean that I had gotten over seeing her sexy body paraded in front of me without a shred of modesty.”
Mark said, “I still think you could get used to it. I had to do the same here.”
Caleb frowned. “Oh, sure! Like it’s even the same thing. You can hide your naughty bits with your tails, and you stallions have sheathes for your penises. Over there, it all just hangs out!” He shuddered. “I have no intention of looking at that every day. Besides, there’s something else that bothers me.”
The alicorn raised an eyebrow. “Oh? What would that be?”
The man tried to put his thoughts into words. “They… look human in many ways, especially when it comes to their torso and sexual characteristics, but then they still have pony heads and hooves, not to mention their coats. It… just… feels weird, even though I can see that they are perfectly sensible… life-forms, if you know what I mean?”
Mark nodded. “I do. It’s a phenomenon called ‘The Uncanny Valley’. It’s when something is very close to human but you can tell something is off about it. It’s like those humanoid robots that look so real but you can sense that something is wrong about them. Anyway, that’s two strikes against the anthro world.”
“I don’t suppose there’s another where they do wear clothes?” Caleb asked hopefully.
“Not that we’ve found so far and, frankly, not something we were looking for. That particular world was discovered by accident in unusual circumstances.”
“How about another human world? Or are they all going to have the same problems as yours?”
“Probably, although the only other Earth we have access to is far different from the one you know. It’s possible that you might be able to fit in there somehow. It’s not without its drawbacks though.”
“Seems to me that you could have offered that before the anthro world,” Caleb pointed out.
Mark opened a drawer in his desk and pulled out a photo album. “Let me show you what you’d be in for. These are photos that I took of some friends I met over there.” He telekinetically passed it over to the man.
Caleb opened the album and his eyes widened. He turned the pages and his jaw dropped. “You have got to be kidding me?”
“Nope. That’s what the whole world population is like.”
“They’re all colored like ponies. And they look… strange too. Their body proportions are off.”
“Yep. You would stand out like a sore thumb. On the plus side, you can buy clothes and shoes there without much of a problem.”
Caleb sighed, closed the album, and passed it back to Mark. “Next!”
“There really isn’t a next. You’re just left with this Equestria, or others near enough like it as to not matter. On the plus side though, here you have the Triarchy backing you up, and we’re prepared to offer you a lucrative job.”
“You mentioned something about increasing welding skills when we were searching for my portal.”
“Exactly. Through my business partner, Equestria is purchasing a lot of modern welding equipment. The catch is that we don’t have anyone here who is qualified to use it.”
Willow said, “Caleb was talking last night about setting up a trade school to teach welding.”
“That’s right. We want to offer you a job to teach our tradesponies, griffons, changelings, and so forth, in modern welding techniques. We’ll be modifying the equipment to make it useable by various species, but that won’t make the tradies instant experts.”
“What materials are we talking about?”
“Ordinary steel for starters, but we want to be able to work with stainless steel and aluminum too. We want to train up a lot of workers to be experts in as short a time as possible. Equestria is going through quite a boom period and we need this knowledge to deal with it and be prepared for our future needs too.”
“There’s a lot more to mastering welding than sticking two pieces of steel together.”
“Which is why we need someone like you. Caleb – we can’t get you back to your Earth, but we can make this world your new home. We can give you a well-paid job using your superior skills. We will support you until you’re settled in. I’ll even let you visit my Earth occasionally if you get homesick for something more tasty than a hayburger.”
“And you’ll have me as a drinking buddy,” Willow added with a grin.
Caleb chuckled. “As long as we don’t get as smashed as last night, okay?” He turned back to Mark and his face grew serious once more. “What if I insist that you let me go to your Earth?”
“I really won’t like it, but I’m not your jailor. I’ll let you go. However, I’d blindfold you, drive in random directions for several hours, then push you out the door with a wad of cash and my best wishes. I’d never want to see or hear from you again.”
“Where’s the love?” Caleb asked with a smirk. “Okay, I’ll play nice. I’ll try your suggestion. What’s your best offer?”
Mark opened another drawer and took out a sheaf of papers. “I spent half the afternoon finalizing a contract for you. Look it over and sign it if you’re satisfied.”
The alicorn passed it over to the man who began reading it. About ten minutes later, there was a knock on the office door.
“Come in!” Mark said.
A reddish-brown unicorn entered and looked at the occupants of the room before addressing the prince. “Hi, Mark. I got your message. So, this is the human you mentioned.”
“Yep. This is Caleb Awad. Caleb, this is my best friend and business partner, Phil. I’m afraid that we won’t be telling you his surname for security reasons. Anyway, if you sign that contract, you’ll be dealing with him a lot for your equipment and materials needs.”
Phil held out a hoof to the human. “Pleased to meet you, Caleb.”
The man took the hoof in his hand and shook it. “Same here, but I had been expecting you to be a human.”
“I am a human, or at least I am back on Earth. I prefer to be a unicorn while I’m in Equestria. You should see my wife though – she becomes a large griffon. Maybe you should give it a try?”
“I did. Briefly, just to see what happened. I became an earth pony. After looking myself over, I changed back immediately. It was too weird for me.”
Phil shrugged. “It was for me too at first, but it’s surprising how quickly you get used to it.”
“Even though ponies go around nude all the time, and you’re one of them?” Caleb asked doubtfully.
“Believe it or not, after a few days, you just stop seeing it.”
Mark said, “It was the same for me. I think actually being a pony affects how you view other ponies sexually. They have to deliberately act in a sexual manner to be perceived in such a way.”
Caleb looked doubtful but conceded the point. “I still prefer not to change. I like being a human.”
“Don’t worry, Caleb,” Willow said while giving him a condescending pat on his hip. “I’ll teach you how to be more like a pony so you fit in better.”
The man rolled his eyes. “Like I said, I don’t want to be a pony; I just need to learn the local customs.”
“Who’s this?” Phil asked.
“Sorry – rude of me not to introduce you sooner,” Mark said. “This is Sergeant Willow Branch of the EUP Reserves. She’s currently assigned to Caleb as his guide and minder. You’ll probably be seeing a lot of her until Caleb is settled in.”
“Pleased to meet you,” Phil said, giving the mare a hoof-bump.
“And I’m delighted to meet a handsome unicorn stallion like yourself.”
“Married,” he reminded her. “And not making a herd either.”
“Too bad,” she replied, a little sadly.
Mark said, “You don’t have to sign that contract right this moment, Caleb. However, in anticipation of you accepting, Twilight and her husband have invited you to have dinner with them and Phil tonight. Seeing as we plan to set up the trade school in Ponyville, that falls under Twilight’s purview. She’ll also ease you through the bureaucracy involved. She loves paperwork. Don’t ask her about her checklists.”
“You seem pretty confident that I’ll accept your offer,” Caleb said.
“I’ve been co-ruler of an empire for many years – you get a sense for these things,” the prince replied with a smug smile.
The man laughed. “I guess you would. Okay, I’m going to finish reading this contract first, but you can pretty much consider it a done deal unless I see something unacceptable. I kind of like the idea of being the head of my own school for welding – the best in the entire world!”
“The only one in the world,” Willow pointed out drolly.
“Like I said, the best!”
Mark grinned. “That’s what I like to hear. Anyway, I’ll let you go back to Ponyville now. Phil and I have a lot to discuss. We’ll meet you later for dinner.”
Caleb and Willow got up.
“Catch you later, Mark,” the man said as he headed for the door.
“Likewise, Your Highness,” Willow said with a quick salute.
When the door closed, Phil smirked and said to Mark, “Did you really need to pair Caleb up with a mare?”
The alicorn chuckled. “No, although it was convenient at the time. They seem to get along okay, so let’s see how things go. If nothing else, she’ll help distract him from the fact that he’s stuck in a world he never wanted.”
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I'd suspect that Mark's wives and Cadence would think differently with Willow "helping" Caleb.
Caleb was given some choices and chose to stay here, so we'll just have to wait and see how far the rabbit hole he'll go through. Though it will be funny to see what Discord will do to him sooner or later.
This story should totaly be canon to your main storys
amazing chapter and it feels like Caleb is starting to accept that he is stuck.
i just bet she will.
Earth Pony is nice for strength but i doubt i would want to be one. Changlings first everything but Breezee second...
10991472
Agreed!
okay...that's just weird!
They do technically have access to one other earth, I think? Unless it's too early for it, they'd have access to the earth through Long Path's world, wouldn't they?
10991512
You missed the 'everything' that one word changes everything
10991612
True. Maybe its not in Marks Authority to make that world a option?
10991680
Very true.
10991677
Ah. But I had seen the 'everything'. I think it was the missing comma that changes everything about what you may have intended.
10991769
Punctioation the one think literally stopping me from getting my storys published
Also good point.
10991612
Way to early. Has to be decades since tech griffon is really old by then.
But probably the best option since Sunset's was rejected.
That reminds me, does Stellar fed know of the pathverses sunset world?
10991612
That Earth won't be discovered until many decades into the future, so not an option.
10992113
Okay, makes sense, was just curious.
It's hard not to sympathize with Caleb about the anthro world. I definitely wouldn't be comfortable there.
And therefore, the best
10991794
Punctuation, and spelling. The two things literally stopping you from getting your stories published.
("You say Grammar Nazi like it's a bad thing..."
)
10985646
10988443
The "humans" of the EqG world have some rather non-human proportions, though, so there's no telling whether or not any of the clothes he found there would actually fit him or not. (And frankly, they're even more "uncanny-valley" than the ponies in the anthro world; if he found the anthro-ponies unnerving, the EqG pseudo-humans would really give him the creeps.)
"there"
"reddish-brown" is a compound adjective
10993702
Aaiiieee! I have failed!
I shall now throw myself off the nearest cliff in shame.
Except that during lockdown, I can't get to the nearest cliff, so it will have to wait for a while. Might be six weeks or so. I'll try to live with myself until then.
10993692
Which is why Caleb was so quick to dismiss that world.
Should had Caleb used "Smell ya later" Willow and Pernumber could have had a hayday with that phrasing.
10993986
Does anyone actually say that anymore? (Heck, did anyone ever actually say that, period, outside of movies and sitcoms?)
10994619
Some still do.
could have been a bigger thing on his planet.
or just used it out of the blue.
or from remembering smelling Willow mane that morning.
Hm... Perhaps Caleb can get a mixed herd? Pony,Griffon,Changeling and what ever else is running around in his area
The Week has seven days... Perhaps 6 Waifus and 1 day for himself?
Phil immediately knew what was up! 😂
I REALLY love that Mark, Phil, and Caleb are portrayed as perfectly ordinary without any sort of social stereotypes whatsoever. It is a breath of fresh air compared to what Hollywood generally produces.