Chapter 6
As Caleb and Willow approached Twilight’s castle, they were still discussing the places and characters that they had encountered on the tour of Ponyville.
“I don’t see what’s your problem with Lyra,” Caleb said. “She’s the only one besides yourself who has gone out of their way to socialize with me.”
“What? Aside from how pushy she is, it isn’t right for a mare to harass a stallion like that.”
“I thought she was being cute.”
“She’s the town kook!” Willow retorted. “She’s been obsessed with strange fictional creatures for ages and you are just fanning that mania.”
“Do I look fictional to you?” the man asked with a smirk. He put his hand on her head to scratch her between the ears. “Does this feel unreal?”
A thrill of pleasure went through the mare. ‘Ack! No! Bad thoughts!’ She pulled away and scowled at him. “Are all you humans this depraved? Save that for the bedroom!”
Caleb’s grin grew. “Okay – we’ll resume that when we get back to my room.”
“What?” Willow gaped then shook her head. “No! I meant with a human mare!”
“Too late – you’ve already made your desires clear, my pretty little pony.”
That almost caused Willow to lock up. Was this stallion a slut, parading his wanton cravings in public? Did he think it was okay to lead on a mare for all others to see? Was he… was he laughing at her? She fumed as she realized that he was having a joke at her expense. How dare he tease her like that! She stalked away, highly irritated at falling for it.
Caleb followed, chuckling at having gotten a rise out of the mare as shown by her lashing tail.
As they reached the castle entrance, one of the Royal Guard stallions stationed there approached him.
“Excuse me, sir. Prince Mark Wells has asked me to inform you that he will meet you in your room at one o’clock. Please do not keep His Highness waiting.”
Caleb glanced in the direction of the clock tower that could be seen over the roofs of the township. There was about a bit over twenty minutes before that appointment. “Thank you,” he said.
The Guard nodded and resumed his post.
Willow and Caleb headed inside. The mare paused in the large vestibule and looked up at her charge. “I’m feeling peckish. Want to grab a snack before the Prince arrives?”
“Sounds good to me. I hope we can get something less sweet this time though.”
Willow caught the attention of a servant on cleaning duties. “Where can Princess Twilight’s guest get something to eat?”
They were guided to a dining room where a maid promptly attended them. “How can I help you?” she asked.
“I’d like something quick and savory? Any suggestions?” Caleb asked with a smile.
The maid noted the canine teeth but had dealt with many different species while serving under Princess Twilight. “Would sir like a tuna fish sandwich?”
“Perfect! What about you, Willow?”
“A daisy salad sandwich, please.”
The maid smiled. “I will bring those out to you right away.”
After she departed, Caleb said to Willow, “I noticed something earlier that has me curious.”
“What’s that?”
“Remember how you told me that ponies in the army are mostly mares? Yet, I have noticed that the majority of Royal Guards I’ve seen so far are stallions. What’s that about?”
Willow chuckled. “That’s a hangover from the days when Princess Celestia was solely ruling Equestria. Back then, the Royal Guard was mostly a stallion’s role. That’s changed a lot since the Triarchy took over.”
“So, why the reverse of the army?”
“Well, there’s the official reason and there’s the unofficial one.”
“Let’s start with the official one,” Caleb said.
“That stems from the reason why mares dominate in the armed forces – we don’t like risking the lives of our stallions in warfare. Nevertheless, some males wanted to go into that kind of career. The Royal Guard acts more like a police force, especially as everypony knows that alicorns are far more capable of protecting themselves than any ordinary pony could. Therefore, the stallions are far less likely to get into a life-or-death situation than as a soldier. However, that started changing back when Shining Armor was the Captain of the Guard, but it was the invasion of Canterlot by the Storm King that swayed the minds of the holdout conservatives. They agreed that the Royal Guards needed to be much more than just flashy constables. Nowadays, all Royal Guards get intense training that puts them closer on a par with the military. And, of course, some mares preferred that career over the EUP too. As the existing Guards retire, you’ll probably find that the balance of the sexes will even out a lot more.”
“Makes sense, I suppose. So, what’s the unofficial reason?”
Willow grinned. “Princess Celestia loved to surround herself with handsome stallions. Can’t say that I blame her.”
Caleb had no response to that. Whether it was true or not, the mares seemed to think so, and that was all that mattered. He wondered if he’d ever get to meet that Princess and ask if it was true.
Their sandwiches arrived and they ate them with gusto. By then the clock on the wall informed them that it was time to head up to Caleb’s room. The man took the opportunity to freshen up and he did not have to wait long after that for the Prince to arrive.
Willow answered the knock on the door and saluted Prince Mark as he entered with his batpony bodyguard in tow.
“Take it easy, Willow Branch. I’m not on royal business, so there’s no need for excessive formality.” Mark then turned his attention to Caleb. “How’s your day been so far? You look a lot better than yesterday.”
Caleb shrugged. “I’m trying not to think about how I’m stuck here now. Willow was showing me around town and keeping my mind off it.”
“Keep up the good work, Willow,” the Prince said in an aside to the mare. “Anyway, I bet you’re dying to get something else to wear besides minotaur robes. Although, aside from the fit, I have to say that they don’t look bad on you.”
“Yeah, but they’re a bit drafty about the nethers, if you know what I mean?”
Mark grinned. “I figured as much. I’m sorry that I couldn’t loan you any of my human clothes, but you saw for yourself our size difference when we were on my Earth.”
“Yeah, at least two sizes too small for me,” Caleb agreed.
“However, there’s one thing that I can supply for you.” Mark withdrew a package from underneath his wing and levitated it to the human.
Caleb looked at it and grinned. It was a five-pack of underpants! “Thanks. Right size too.”
“Put on a pair and we’ll head off to get you fitted with some more suitable clothes.”
“I’ll be back in a moment.” The man went into the bathroom and closed the door.
Willow smiled apologetically. “I’ve been trying to tell him that he doesn’t need to worry about dressing up in front of us, but he’s very self-conscious about being nude.”
Mark chuckled. “It’s okay. I understand why he’s like that. He’ll cope in time. How was your night at the bar?”
The mare grimaced. “It wasn’t bad, but it was so strange at times. If I didn’t know that he’s from a whole other world, I would think he has mental problems. Even so, I just don’t understand his ways sometimes.”
“You’re both facing a steep learning curve. Believe me – I know.” The human emerged from the bathroom just then. Mark grinned at the satisfied look on the man’s face. “And now, Caleb is in for a bit more of a culture shock.”
The man looked bewildered by that statement. “I am?”
“Yep, we’re heading off to another Equestria to meet your tailor. You don’t think quadrupedal ponies excel at making clothes for bipeds, do you?”
“I suppose not.”
“Do you still need me, sir?” Willow asked.
“I think I’d prefer it if you keep up your escort duties for now. Ever been to the anthro Equestria?”
“Like your daughter? No, Your Highness.”
“I didn’t think you would have. Come on – you’re both in for an education.” Mark then opened the door and exited, his bodyguard following with a knowing grin.
Caleb and Willow shared a concerned look and tagged along, both wondering what they were getting into.
The alicorn prince led them back to the portal room, but he walked up to a different mirror than the one that led to Canterlot Castle. His horn glowed for a moment.
“Just have to make sure that the adaptation spell is turned off,” he informed them.
Mark stepped through and Penumbra waved the human and mare to go after him before she brought up the rear. For a moment, Caleb thought that something had gone wrong because they were in an identical room. However, he quickly noticed that there were fewer mirrors. He did not have time to look much more as the alicorn had already trotted out of the room, and he and Willow hastened to catch up.
They were still in Friendship Castle, but as soon as they exited the hall into the grand entrance, it was clear it was not the same one that they had just left. The staff members there were dealing with the public just like theirs, but the patrons were all bipeds – anthro ponies. Caleb even recognized one of them, or at least their quadrupedal versions. Like Mark’s daughter, Pearl, they had a very humanlike body except that that the legs were unguligrade, terminating in hooves, and their heads were virtually the same as normal ponies. They all possessed tails and the pegasi had wings. The big difference from the human form was that they all had the same multi-hued hair coats and cutie marks as the ponies Caleb was familiar with. That, however, did little to distract from the fact that they also wore exactly the same amount of clothing as the four-legged variety which, in most cases, meant none at all.
Caleb couldn’t help but stare. While they were still recognizably not human, there was no escaping the fact that the mares had very sexy bodies and he didn’t see a flat chest among them. Suddenly, he was very glad that he was wearing a voluminous robe to hide his physical reaction.
As much as the man found the locals distracting, it was easily matched by their fascination with the group. Three quadrupedal ponies and a human were not a common occurrence even for Ponyville. A couple of the castle staff greeted Mark and he smiled and waved back. He was, after all, a very regular visitor because of his daughter, not to mention inter-universal diplomatic relations.
Like the world he had just left, this Equestria was dominated by mares. Unfortunately for Caleb, he inevitably got a full-frontal view of a stallion soon after leaving the castle. He quickly understood where the phrase – ‘hung like a horse’ came from. He had done his best to ignore the nude stallions back in the other world, but a four-legged stance and tail helped to conceal their junk, not to mention that they were more animal-like to his perceptions despite their intelligence. It all hung out here though. The human kneaded his forehead while murmuring, “Oh God, I did not need to see that.”
Willow nudged him with her shoulder to get his attention. When he looked down at her, she smirked and said, “Not bad, hey? I wouldn’t mind getting my hooves on one of these stallions.” When she noticed his expression, she added, “Don’t let it get to you. You can’t help it that you’re not a pony and only are… umm… human-size.”
Caleb’s eyes widened and he stared at the oblivious mare. Did she just flat-out say that he had a small dick? He didn’t know whether to be insulted or mortified. It did have the effect of distracting him enough that he managed not to stare at any of the other ponies whom they passed, especially the males.
Their destination became clear as Mark led them toward a round building that had been decorated in a manner resembling a carousel. Caleb remembered seeing it during the tour of Ponyville but they hadn’t entered it then. For some reason, Willow had chosen to bypass it. Now, he would get to see inside.
Mark entered without hesitation and everyone followed. Caleb immediately noticed the mannequins with various dresses displayed on them. So they did wear clothes sometimes! Judging by how fancy they were, he guessed that they were for special occasions only. He found it difficult to comprehend why the mares would willingly dress up in such finery but be totally okay with walking about nude normally.
“Welcome to Carousel Boutique!” came a lovely cultured voice. “Oh! Prince Mark! How lovely to see you, darling. I wasn’t expecting you to stop by – the first fittings for the autumn fashions aren’t due for a couple of weeks yet.”
“Hi, Rarity. I have brought you an unusual customer. Let me introduce Caleb Awad – he is in need of your unique skills.”
The mare turned to face Caleb. She had an alabaster coat with a perfectly coiffed mane and tail. A long spiral horn rose above brilliant blue eyes with long black lashes. Full and firm boobs graced a gorgeous hourglass figure that was neither too lean nor excessively padded. She nodded in recognition and said, “A human, I see. Frankly, dear, it is a crime to fashion to see you settle for minotaur-style robes.”
The man wanted very much to differ right then as the erection that he had managed to get under control came raging back.
Mark chuckled, guessing the source of the man’s discomfort. “Rarity, Caleb had the misfortune to fall through a wild portal into the Equestrian desert. His clothing was destroyed and he needs something better than that robe to wear while he’s stranded on my world.”
“I presume he’s not from your Earth then, but has he the same peculiar aversion to nudity that yours does?”
“You got that right, ma’am,” Caleb said fervently. “Can you make me some proper trousers and shirts?”
“Of course, darling! I am Prince Mark’s clothier of choice.”
Mark said, “While my own Rarity would have been willing to make human-style clothes, she recommended her anthro colleague here due to her greater familiarity with the biped form. She has made me several outfits for when I need to do business on Earth. Rarity – I’d like to commission you to provide Caleb with a range of clothing. He needs some casual outfits, something formal, and some durable work clothes. I know the latter isn’t your forte, but I would appreciate it.”
The unicorn smiled indulgently. “Darling, just because an ensemble is intended for protection against harsh conditions doesn’t mean that it can’t look fabulous too. I am happy to accept the challenge.” She turned to the human. “Caleb, dear, I presume that you want some streetwear immediately? I have the time to tailor you an outfit right now, although the rest will have to wait.”
“I would hugely appreciate that, Ms. Belle,” Caleb replied.
“Excellent! Let’s start by getting your measurements. Please remove your robe.”
The man’s eyes widened in panic. He was still fully aroused despite his attempts to play it cool. “Can’t I just tell you my waist and chest sizes?”
“Nonsense! This isn’t a retail market selling mass-produced T-shirts and such. I need to fit you properly. Let me help you with that robe.”
Rarity’s horn lit up and Caleb felt the robe being pulled open. He wanted to resist but realized it was futile. Moments later, he stood there naked except for his firmly tented underwear.
Willow’s eyebrows shot up as she stared at the man’s crotch. “What I said a few minutes ago? I take it back!”
The unicorn looked him over appraisingly and smiled. “Is that for me? I’m flattered, but we need to get down to business.” A tape measure flew over to her in the glow of her telekinesis, but she took it in her hands to do the actual measuring. “Let’s start with your lovely broad shoulders.”
“I’ll leave Caleb in your hands, Rarity. I have other tasks to do right now. A prince’s work is never finished. Willow Branch here is Caleb’s guide and minder and I’ll leave her to look after him in my absence.”
Willow jerked in shock. She was being left here to watch a stallion spend hours fussing over clothes? She’d rather spend that time in Tartarus! Nevertheless, she was given a task by the prince. She gave him a weak smile. “As you wish, Your Highness.”
“I’ll be back around 3:30 pm. Is that okay?”
“That will be fine, darling. It will give Caleb and me time to discuss his preferences for his other outfits.”
Mark said, “See you later, Caleb.” He then headed out the door.
Penumbra gave Willow a sympathetic look before following. The batpony knew what the mare was in for.
Willow honestly thought she was going to die of boredom. She had been practically forgotten by the others and had been left nothing to do except look around the boutique filled with the frou-frou dresses she so disliked. Give her a stout set of armor or work overalls any day rather than those ridiculously gaudy outfits. What did mares see in them anyway? All a mare needed was to keep a trim figure and groom her coat, mane, and tail to look good for a stallion. A strong, healthy mare was always a good choice for a herdmate, right?
And the fuss Caleb had been making over the outfit that Rarity had put together for him! He had gushed over the fit and comfort of the item he called trousers, and he actually begged the fashionista to make several more shirts of various designs for him. How many different shirts did a stallion need? As long as a single sturdy set of clothes protected that bare skin of his, what more did he want? Still, not content with all that, he was going over some fashion magazines with Rarity, discussing the formal wear option.
The worst part of the experience wasn’t the mind-crushing boredom, it was the shameless flirting. The fact that this world’s Rarity could banter and flatter on par with the fashionista back home was not a surprise. Any successful businessmare and socialite developed those skills as a matter of necessity. What really ground Willow’s gears was Caleb. Even now, the two were gabbing away in the next room. It seemed that being around an anthro-shaped female let him relax and loosen up… especially his tongue.
“Thank you for opening my eyes to the fashions of this world, Miss Rarity. Words can’t tell you how grateful I am. I see how you earned your position as the Prince’s official clothier.”
“Oh, it’s nothing, but thank you for the compliment. If I may be so bold as to make a suggestion? Darling, when you next visit this wonderful dimension, you simply must get control of your… shall we say ‘stallion instincts’? Why, just the scent of a male with that much passion might be more temptation than your average poor, defenseless mare could withstand.”
“Ah, but can you blame me, Miss Rarity?” His voice lost a half-octave. “After all, every mare I see here is more beautiful than the last.”
A delighted titter filtered into the adjacent room. Willow rolled her eyes for the umpteenth time. “I am quite certain that this is not what I signed up for,” she groused to herself.
Willow felt her brain would melt before Prince Mark finally returned.
“Looking good, Caleb,” Mark said appraisingly. The charcoal trousers fit the man’s waist perfectly and the light blue silk shirt complemented Caleb’s skin tone. “Ready to go back?”
“Yeah. Rarity and I have worked out some of my other requirements and she made a recommendation for a shoemaker. I didn’t think that there would be such a thing here, but apparently they’re a high-end fashion item too.”
“Sounds like a plan. At least that will do until I can get you footwear from Earth. You’re going to need something a little more durable than shoes meant to be worn on formal occasions.” The alicorn turned his attention back to the unicorn. “Thanks, Rarity. Send me the bill.”
“It’s been a pleasure darling. I’ll see you again soon for the fitting appointment.”
“Looking forward to it! Come on, Caleb. We’ve got more to accomplish today.”
Caleb picked up the small bundle of new clothing (something Willow had heard described as “sweat clothes”) and the minotaur robe and followed. Once they were outside, he asked Mark, “What are you getting fitted for? I would have thought your wife would be the one doing that.”
The alicorn grinned. “I model for her.”
“There’s some sort of fashion show for stallions?”
“Nope. Remember my female form that I showed you? Now, imagine that as an anthro.”
The picture that brought to his mind made Caleb sincerely wish he hadn’t asked.
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Well Caleb knows that 🎶That every woman/mare loves a sharp dressed man/stallion! 🎶
And it seems that being in the military has made Willow somewhat of a Tom colt.
The Boner factor is over 9000! 👍
Finaly some decent clothing for the poor stallion hyuuuman
Great chapter
So i wonder if Lyra get her human fix from now on... Human talons with there blunt claws are to die for 👏
A great new chapter. It was nice to see Anthro Rarity again, one wonders if Caleb wouldn't be more comfortable in ways on the antro Equestria, except for perhaps feeling a little under endowed where dating would be concerned or having to deal with naked ponies everywhere
I know it would have been more boring but the question of why not shop on Marks earth does cross my mind.
Also editing point, i believe like should have been used here
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I have no idea how that error was missed upon review. Fixed now.
I don't want to go into too much detail yet, but Mark does not want Caleb going to his Earth until some things are sorted out.
Well, one, there might be other interested parties and things are on the down low ...
Two, lack of ID ...
Three, there's already a counterpart existing, so having a record to two persons at the same time (especially if shopping with receipts and names) ...
Though for a quick shopping trip to a chain store with appropriate cash, that might of been possible ... but see one ...
Princess Celestia tittered softly into her tea before responding. “Well, my little human, I can only say that it categorically, absolutely... was not... not true.”
A sudden coughing splutter sprayed out as Twilight tried desperately not to drop her own teacup. “Wait, WHAT?!”
some times the best clop chapter is the no clop chapter, let the reader fill in the blanks.
this is a awesome story.
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Most thrift shops I know have a bit of everything and nothing...
And where on Earth do you need ID to go shopping?
The cash could be a tricky one - then again, Thrift/reuse stores are probably your best bet.
Most shops here starts getting suspicious if you pay them in cash for things heigher than a 50- 100$ bill.
You want unguligrade for a creature walking on hooves.
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Thanks - I knew I had that wrong, but I couldn't think of the right word.
Human obsessed Lyra is best Lyra!
Oh Sweet Celestia, that is MOST definitely for you Rarity!
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"have", not "of". "Might have been possible."
ID is only an issue if you're paying by cheque -- which hardly anyone does these days, at least not in the U.S. I suppose one might get asked for an ID if you're making a large enough purchase... -- and of course, you'll be asked for ID if you're buying something with legal restrictions, such as having to prove that you're old enough to be served alcohol, for example -- but I've never been asked for such for a mere clothing purchase...
Plus, not only does Caleb not have any ID, he doesn't have any cash, credit cards, chequebook, or anything else -- so if they'd gone clothes shopping on Mark's Earth, Mark or one of his Earth-side friends would've been the ones paying the bill anyway, and since they would have valid IDs and cards there, none of the merchants would have any reason to ask for Caleb's ID regardless. They only care about who's paying for it, not who's going to actually wear it afterwards.
The only significant risk factor would be if the Mark's-Earth version of Caleb happens to live in the same town and go to the same stores, and there was a chance that he might meet himself.
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Shopping on Earth will be addressed in the next chapter.
Why not go to EqG Equestria since they wouldn’t have tail-holes or another him, they actually have a nudity taboo and they’d have shoes.
10985646
Now that is a perfect suggestion. Especially considering that they have that portal open on-demand, now.
Why is it that (nearly) all guys that fall into RGRE are doormats?! (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡 ┻━┻ Like, seriously - can't they ever politely explain that there're clear cultural differences, and that they don't appreciate being treated this way or that way? You'd think that, in a society that goes out of its way to be nice, they'd respect that sentiment.
And what's with the ponies not getting the feeling that there's something not quite right, or outright ignoring it? I get that it's "sink or swim", but that is gross mishandling of the situation, and there's always a risk of the guy just blowing up, eventually.
And let's not forget that Caleb never got Twilight Sparkle's Infodump on the Equestrian Society (Abridged Version, 11th Revision), like Mark did. And speaking of Mark, he should be well-aware that this is a high-friction situation (especially considering that this guy didn't get turned into a pony), and should be paying more attention (especially that, with his background, he might well be the only one to clearly see the signs). A counselor (on top of that Infodump) would not go amiss, either.
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My biggest problem with HiE is they never give the biggest reason of ponies have Shelths for stallions and tails for mares to hide their bits by guys and girls have neither of those natural protections (yes there’s the other reasons but for me that’s the biggest reason)
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Actually, there's like a 50/50 chance of it being mentioned. That particular topic does seem to come up.
But it's not just physical, because if it were - just strapping a loincloth around the "bits" would be good enough. Would you parade around with just a loincloth? I doubt it. ;] The reason is cultural and, at this point, very much psychological.
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I know Equestria is a Matriarchical societey, as opposed to the Patriarchicaly Earth.
Just never got the idea of what the "Original" Man-card was either.
Maybe this aspoect could be played for the Giggles in a story?
But seriously, I'm all for the Equal Rights.
Just show up, prove yourself based on Merits and let the crap lay in the garbage where it belongs
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My comments are based on what I've read so far. If this changes down the line, my appreciation will change as required.
You know, these reactions aren't exactly a bad thing. It's telling you that we're engaged. It doesn't really matter what happens later (especially since that "later" is currently not much), because it's what we're thinking and feeling right now, at these chapters.
It doesn't even mean that things need to change, or anything - if this is the story you want to tell, then that's what it is. Expect some of us to react in certain ways, though... ;)
In the end, you end up measuring things with your own stick, right? Personally, I'd be pretty pissed at this point, and the only thing keeping me in-line would be the sheer amount of... just... shit I needed to deal with, you know? But while I can be chill and understanding to a fault sometimes, I too have my limits. And while it may be said that it's not "all about him" - because of course it isn't - well... at this very moment, while he's deciding on how to react and align to all of it... it kinda is.
In a way, part of the issue is that we don't get to see how things change for Caleb - not yet, not at six-chapters-in. But I still think you'd get these sorts of responses, because right now - it's all the reader knows.
No, just low-key-doesn't-know-better-but-should. ;] Being in this close a proximity to both the School of Friendship and Twilight "I'll Fuck You Over With Friendship If It's The Last Thing I do" Sparkle should grant one a modicum of understanding by sheer osmosis... But I suppose she hasn't interacted with her all that much yet. Kinda expecting that to change very soon, though... ;P
Willow could be worse of... Like a guard guarding a corridor and basicly starring at walls in the times nothing happens.
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Like Spearhead and his squad guarding the northwest wing of Canterlot Palace in the episode 'Rarity Investigates'.
"I've counted all 345 bolts in the ceiling tiles 293 times!"
-the guard sitting to Spearhead's left in the interrogation scene (Spearhead's the one in the middle)
11166389
A boring day is a good day. Because action often come with trouble. Like for example:
- Changeling Invasion
- Tirek attack
- Storm King invasion
- Criminals that love to make trouble
Etc etc...
Willow is low key jealous and it's adorable! Careful little tsundere, your blush is showing!