Kirby Star Allies: Friend Hearts are Magic (REMASTERED)

by The Kelduo

Chapter 17: Meta Knight's Intermission Returns (Meta Knight)

"And remember, you'll have to deal with a horde of enemies after using the platforms to cross the lava gaps before you get the chance to meet him. Are you sure you can handle the literal and metaphorical heat?"

"Of course," I replied to Zan Partizanne. "I am no stranger to lava pools, meteor showers, or hordes of powerful foes. As a Star Warrior who strives to become the strongest in the galaxy, I always look forward to tough challenges."

Zan nodded. "If you say so. We will be waiting here for your return, hopefully with the Chef Kawasaki. Just make it quick, because I could really use a boost in energy after that fight with the stubby little pink thing."

"..." I shot her a disapproving look for insulting Kirby, one of the strongest beings known to Pop Star, before spreading my wings and taking flight.

Dawn had come after a long night of anxiety over Kirby's safety, and we were starting to grow hungry. Zan Partizanne knew where a Chef Kawasaki could be found nearby, so she requested that I fly to Star Lavadom and recruit the Chef there. Although it is good for a warrior to fast by abstaining from eating, an empty stomach makes it difficult to stay sane, and insanity was the opposite of what we needed in these trying...

Hm? A yellow, slowly growing glimmer in the distance... Could it be?

"Slow down, Great King! You shouldn't be flying this fast right after waking up!"

"I can't help it, Bandana Dee! This here Warp Star's way too hard for either o' us to—"

Wham!

I attempted to dodge the Warp Star, but its erratic movement meant it still managed to strike me. The bumbling King Dedede and his servant Bandana Waddle Dee were tossed off the Warp Star, and the three of us careened back towards the Divine Terminus.

"Waaaaahh!"

We had a rough landing, but I landed on my feet while King Dedede's belly cushioned Bandana Dee's fall.

Lucario and I chuckled at their blunder while Zan and NESP watched them from a fair distance. "Nice of you to drop in, King Dedede and Bandana Waddle Dee," Lucario said. "What led you to fly all the way out here into the depths of space?"

Dedede looked up at Lucario. "Well, if it ain't that fox guy who hangs around Kirby a whole bunch! Y'know, I really could use yer help right now. If ya don't mind, that is."

"You know these creatures?" Zan asked Lucario.

"I do." Lucario held out his paws to help Dedede and Bandana Dee up. "Meet King Dedede, ruler of Dream Land, and his servant Bandana Waddle Dee. You two, meet Zan Partizanne, one of the three mage sisters who work for Hyness, a villain who wants to free the Dark God from the Jamba Heart."

"A villain?! Why didn't you--"

"Hey!" I grabbed Dedede's arm to prevent him from striking Zan with his hammer. "Now isn't the time for battling, Dedede. We've set aside our differences for now, because..." I used my other hand to point at NESP. "...this helper of Kirby's cast a spell that accidentally sent the puffball and his other two helpers to an unknown planet along with Hyness."

The king lowered his arm. "Oh... okay."

Bandana Dee shook Zan's hand. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Miss Partizanne."

The electric general replied, "No need for formalities, I'm just as much a servant as you are. You can simply call me Zan."

"Alright, Zan. My friends call me Bandana Dee." Bandana Dee turned towards NESP. "So, you accidentally sent not only Hyness but also Kirby and his other helpers to another planet? I'm really sorry your spell didn't go as planned."

NESP rubbed the back of his head. "Yeah... I meant to only send Hyness there, but I'm still pretty inexperienced with teleporting others. Since I made such a big mistake, we have to wait for them to get back."

Dedede gave an annoyed look. "Yeah, yeah, we get it. Ya done goofed, so the four o' you have to wait for your buddies to come back, right?"

Zan glared at Dedede. "Hyness isn't my buddy, he's my savior! He rescued me and my sisters from dying!"

Dedede did a double take. "I wasn't talking about--wait, what?"

"You heard me right. He rescued me from a thunderstorm, Flamberge from a fire, and Francisca from a blizzard! Ever since, we served him and called him our savior. We are indebted to him, hence why we are trying to help him free the Dark Lord."

As heartwarming as her story was, she was still doing the wrong thing, and we were certain of that. I made sure she knew that. "We may have put aside our differences for now, but know that when Hyness and Kirby's group return to the Divine Terminus, we will return to being enemies. The Star Allies will surely put an end to the wrath of the Dark Lord."

"There's no way to be sure that your friends will stop the Dark Lord except to wait to see what happens," she replied calmly. "Until that time comes, consider us to be mere acquaintances and nothing more. Now then..." She pointed at the king and his servant. "State your business here."

"Whoa, now! No need to get feisty with us!" King Dedede put his hands up in fear. "I was just taking a little ride on a Warp Star with Bandana Dee here to get our minds off a real bad nightmare we had last night."

"A nightmare?" I asked. "But the Fountain of Dreams makes sure everyone has good dreams each night. The Nightmare Wizard couldn't have returned, could he?"

"That's what I thought! So I headed right to the Fountain the moment I woke up, but it was just fine! Crystal-clear water, Star Rod on the top, everything. What a weird way to start the day, right?"

This didn't sit right with me. The Fountain of Dreams is the source of all the dreams of the citizens of Pop Star, and no Nightmares had infiltrated it. So why could the King and Bandana Waddle Dee have had a bad dream? "...Can you describe the dream?"

"Sure can! It started out as usual, with me eating a bunch of food while Bandana guarded my throne, but then something out of the ordinary happened..."

"What was it?" NESP asked.

"You ain't gonna believe this, but... Kirby came waltzing into the throne room, and he wasn't alone. Right next to him was this really dark blue horse who looked like a spawn of the Nightmare!"

"...!" This caught the attention of me and Lucario. "Did it have a long horn and wings?" we asked.

"How'd ya know?!" King Dedede gasped.

Lucario and I looked at each other with a knowing grin. Bandana Dee had a similar look on his face.

"Bandana Waddle Dee," I said. "That glimmer of ecstasy in your eyes... You seem to know what we're talking about. Would you share your thoughts for us to hear?"

The king's number-one soldier nodded enthusiastically.

"Great King, Zan Partizanne, NESP... Kirby, his friends, and Hyness are in Equestria, on the planet Equus!"

King Dedede gave Bandana Dee a look of sheer horror.

"WHAT?! That silly little fantasy land you've been telling me about... It's all real?!"

"Yep! From what you and Meta Knight have been saying, it sounds like Equestria is as real as the ground we're standing on."

"And that nighttime horsey who done beat me up in my dream?"

"Also real."

Dedede stood speechless for several seconds.

And then he desperately grabbed NESP by the neck. "Please tell me you can teleport me as far from that place as possible. I don't want that horsey waltzing over to my castle and clobbering me in real life."

The psychic boy nervously sweated. "I could if I knew where it was... Sorry, King..."

A look of hopelessness on his face, King Dedede abruptly let go of NESP. "I'm doomed..." He started hyperventilating as he aimlessly ran in circles. "I don't wanna get my butt whooped by a super tough magical horsey again! What do I do? What do I--"

A beige paw came from the King's left and handed him a paper bag.

"Oh, good idea." He took it and breathed in and out of it a few times, soothing his nerves some. "Thanks for helping me calm down, Lucario."

Lucario responded with a raised eyebrow. "...What color are my paws?"

The king deadpanned at him. "Do I look like a preschooler to you? Them paws of yours are blue and black! And that paw that just handed me a paper bag was... uh..." He stopped and realized his mistake.

Cautiously, he turned his head left to look at who gave him the bag.

But there was no one there.

"Psst! Look above you."

Dedede followed the instructions of the voice and looked up. He was understandably startled when the face of an amalgamation of various creatures was inches away from his own face. "Ack!"

He fell onto his rear, causing the creature to quite literally laugh his head off, much to the surprise of Zan and NESP. "Ha ha ha! Boy, I love getting the jump on innocent creatures!"

The king shuffled backwards before standing up and gripping his hammer. "Just what the heck are you?!"

"No need to get aggressive with me!" After putting its head back on, the creature performed an odd gesture that resembled half-bowing, half-crouching several times. "I'm Equestria's local deity of chaos. I used to cause trouble to no end, but then the most wonderful pony convinced me to stop terrorizing citizens with my insane antics and instead have a little harmless mischief that doesn't put anyone in danger." He handed the King a rectangular card. "Discord, at your service. Here's my business card."

"But this is... a Jack of Spades," Dedede wondered while holding the card. "With you on it instead of a normal Jack."

"Exactly! My business is playing with others!"

The king gave Discord a bemused stare. "Right... So, what're you doing here anyway?"

Discord took out a few sheets of paper. "Well, let's see... Oh, yeah! I came here to let you all know how your pal Kirby is doing."

A smile formed behind my mask. "I suppose he is faring well in Equestria?"

"And we have a winner!" I got showered with confetti. "Yessir, Kirby is doing just fine. At the moment he's scouting out the land with his friends and the Bearers of Harmony."

"Scouting?" Bandana Dee asked. "What's wrong, did they hear that a local villain is ready to terrorize Equestria?"

"You're a smart one!" The draconequus held up a mug shot of Hyness and the insectoid pony Chrysalis. "Apparently this white-robed guy named Hyness ran into Queen Chrysalis, and now they're plotting to take down the Mane Six as well as the Kirby gang."

"Another bad guy for Kirby to clobber, you say?" Dedede sat down with a smile on his face. "You know what that means, Bandana Dee. Fetch some food from my stash, because we're staying put right here until Kirby triumphantly returns!"

My stomach rumbled again.

"If it's all the same to you, can you bring some food for the rest of us too?"

"Leave that to me!" Discord snapped his fingers, and a buffet's worth of plates of food appeared before us. With another snap, a television appeared. "And this TV will come on when the big battle arrives. You're welcome."

Before we could reply, he hitched a ride on a UFO and took off.

Dedede stared at all the food before him. "...You know, I'm starting to like that Discord guy."

Bandana Dee shook his head. "Don't get used to it. He always likes to prank others, so don't be surprised if that cooked chicken flies away, or if the French fries start criticizing your eating habits and give you zero stars."

"..."