The Doctor and his Wandering Heart

Lost in a new world, born in violence can an alien from another world, another universe acclimatize to the idyllic world of Equestria? And perhaps more importantly, can Equestria acclimatize itself to him, and everything his appearance brings upon their world?

Chapters (4)

When it was Impossible to Be · 29th Nov 2020 · 3,069 words
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Out to Lunch · 28th Feb 2021 · 3,044 words
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A Date without Destiny · 31st Mar 2021 · 3,209 words
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The Shadow of History · 30th Apr 2021 · 3,312 words
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Comments ( 7 )

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47467red

47467red #1 · Nov 29th, 2020 · · · When it was Impossible to Be ·

Is the doctor's pony form based off of the 12th Doctor? Also, very well written. I look forward to updates

ScarletHarmony

ScarletHarmony #2 · Nov 29th, 2020 · · · When it was Impossible to Be ·

10556205
He's based on the John Hurt War Doctor.

Davenfjeld

Davenfjeld #3 · Feb 28th, 2021 · 1 · · Out to Lunch ·

I have to say, this is wonderfully well done. The Doctor is very similar to the show; I daresay you studied other novelisations beforehand.

As soon as they all noticed he noticed their staring, they immediately grabbed their forks in their sparking, glowing telekinetic fields. Interestingly, it seemed to emanate from the horns on their head. Fascinating.

Ooh no cutie mark doctor. Well met.

Also, "he had" and, "their heads".

“I hate to come off as accusing, but it is rude to stare.” He speaks up before his mind is done wondering about the connection between telekinesis and horns. If he had thought it, he never would have said something like THAT to ROYALTY.

This seems out of tense, perhaps rewrite to something like this(?):

“I hate to come off as accusing, but it is rude to stare.” He spoke up before his mind was done wondering about the connection between telekinesis and horns. If he had thought about it, he never would have said something like that to royalty.

This is, of course, just nitpicking. Old habits.

Absolutely love this doctor. No cutie mark, viciously analytical—but still, somehow, humerous—and woefully unprepared for the ridiculousness of what has befallen him. Would love to see more, but take care to read through the day after writing—to catch those really little mistakes.

ScarletHarmony

ScarletHarmony #4 · Feb 28th, 2021 · 1 · · Out to Lunch ·

10699990
Made some changes, thanks for the hand, the tip, and for enjoying.

Davenfjeld

Davenfjeld #5 · Apr 1st, 2021 · · · A Date without Destiny ·

Shadow? Shadow... Shadow... not a bad villain word, has to be said. The doctor certainly has some experience with shadow creatures (like those in the library) so I can see him feeling confident about this.

Interesting to note the ponies' dislike of the word "military" especially considering the guard should just be a branch of such a thing. Hope he finds his screwdriver soon, even if he can't just go straight back to the TARDIS.

Brilliant again, hope the wait isn't as long this time around!

Davenfjeld

Davenfjeld #6 · Apr 30th, 2021 · · · The Shadow of History ·

. And that was an officer longue,

Ah yes, the room where the officers longue. "lounge"

He turned to the right and followed Flurry through the door, ignoring whatever the placard on the front said. The room was lined on one side with lockers with little cutouts for paper inserts, each one no doubt bearing the name of one of the grunts in the room, a long wooden bench running right down the middle of the room, and on the other were little wooden cubbies filled with what he would assume was their standard gear. Thick whitish-pinkish coats with fur hoods and sleeves, big heavy looking rucksacks, Native Canadian looking snow goggles, and a trapper hat, slash ear flap, slash ushanka type cap. He got to see the kit both on and off, and in the various stages in between as the room was alive with various crystal ponies rushing themselves into it, with a few cubbies at the end left ignored, probably some spares.

"whitish pink" and the Inuit is the proper name for Canadian natives. Especially since they don't just live in Canada.

Finding her advice to be sound, he quickly starts stuffing himself into the too-large coat. By the time he was pulling the zipper up over his barrel he noticed how easy it was to do, when he was somewhat expecting it to be a chore to figure out. He could only guess that he was up to pick up walking and using his hooves so easily was just part of the regeneration process, the mind picking up the kind of things you don’t even think about doing like walking, breathing and using hands when you finish regenerating, but no one ever noticed because no other Timelord ever managed to regenerate into a horse.

Or so you think...

As an extra, try calling the caps "trapper caps" if you want an easier way to describe them without having to detail every flap and tuft of fur.

Overall, another great chapter. It feels like it ended more out of necessity than a natural point, but I'm sure the next one will clear that worry right up. Sombras back? Brilliant. Is he a timelord in disguise or a lich with crystal phylatories? We'll never know! Loving the way the doctor is being written, and Flurry's legal-loophoole-ing is wonderful.

See you next chapter, friend!

Star_Shade